Tuesday, June 27, 2006

No really, your too good....

The local festival is all over. It was pretty quiet with a few exceptions here and there. Mostly just drunks trying to come in and then argueing with me outside that they weren't good enough to come in.

That's right...

That they weren't good enough to come in.

Sometimes it's fun to be at the front door. Someone walks up, drunk off their ass, and I refuse them entrance. They start argueing that they're not too drunk, then it changes that I don't think they're good enough to come in. I agree.

I tell them that, yes, you are too good to come into this bar. You should try another bar because you are too good to come into our tiny, ugly bar. That we don't deserve you inside.

And just like I changed from your not good enough to - your too good to come in, they get confused. Then they say that I shouldn't try to get them in the bar and they're going to take their business somewhere else.

I act a little sad but then wish them a good night.

McGee came through again, looking the worse for wear. Drunk every night and eyes glazed over. Sad part is, he shows up early and looks like crap. He did take a short break for a few days though. Then I saw him walking around one night when I was leaving my house.

He had the same clothes on as he did last time I saw him out and he was carrying the ole brown bag special. For those of you that don't know what that is, it's basically a bottle of booze bought from the liquor store wrapped in a brown paper bag. He was already stumbling a little and it was only around 1 in the afternoon.

Some people get wrapped up in the liquor and what ever else they get into. I'm glad I've seen the damage that could happen through past experiences and watching people destroy themselves. Then again, many people have and have followed that road.

There's no real way to tell why people do certain things. I guess I just like to have control of myself. It's a good thing to have and a bad thing to lose.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Festivals...

With the summer coming full steam there are always festivals all over the city. Each festival is completely different whether it's for a country's liberation, a religious factor, or just about any other reason you could think of (food, beer, etc.).

So with the local festivals going on we always get people in that we never see before and will probably never see again. Usually it's a quiet crowd but once in a while there are a few loud mouths, nothing too major.

The biggest pain is just the car horns blaring and idiots running in the streets. Which makes for doing anything other than sitting at home a pain as well. Traffics backed up, horns blaring everywhere, and people jamming up the streets and walking whenever and where ever they want to.

I was on my way to work and a group of people walked across the street in front of traffic causing traffic to stop and allow them to get by.

Then a simple thought ran through my head. If I was a sick and twisted person I'd probably just run them over. There's no crosswalk, no cops directing traffic and according to law they were in the wrong, even if they got hit by a car. As long as you don't run your not at fault.

Of course, thoughts run through everyones head like that from time to time. It's just a good thing it rarely happens.

The big weekend is coming up in just a couple weeks. Fireworks, gunshots, drunks, and a slew of other things that may or may not turn into problems.

Last year was fairly quiet but if these little festivals are a sign I think it might be a little louder this year. Time will tell.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Keep on knocking but you can't come in...

One night a regular came walking up with three friends while I had a line in front of the bar. When I looked over at her she raised up four fingers to let me know there were four of them total. She walked up and I told her it'd be five or ten minutes but she'd get in faster than if she waited. Then her three friends walked up.

"Is this guy with you? Cause that's a problem."

"Oh yea, he's with me... I work with him and..."

"He's an asshole, he's not coming in."

The tall man that was with the girl walked up. "Is Stewart here? I'm friends with Stewart."

"He's not working tonight and it doesn't matter. Your a pain in my ass, your not coming in."

As the tall man reaches for the door handle, "Stewart said I could walk in any time I wanted."

Now Stewart is a fairly nice guy. He's one of the bartenders and the complete opposite of me. I've helped him out with this tall guy before and then later explained to him how much of an ass he is. To which Stewarts only reply was, "Hey man, if he's annoying you then fuck him, he can wait or he doesn't have to come in."

I grab the tall man by his wrist, "That's nice, as soon as Stewart is my boss and tells me what to do I'll listen. Until then, your still a pain in my ass that's growing and your not coming into this bar."

The tall man looks at the girl and with a roll of his eyes says, "I told you he's an asshole, I don't know why you wanted to come here."

"Well, maybe you should leave. I never have this kind of problem here."

The tall man stood there and glared at me. It was kind of funny. He was about two or three inches taller than me and much smaller weight wise. Then he spun around and grabbed his date and got in a cab.

The girl looked at me and started to apologize when I bluntly cut her off in mid sentence.

"Only two of you?" I asked with a grin.

She smiled back, "Yea, only two."

"Well then, come on in and enjoy yourselves."

Velvet Rope...

We've never had a velvet rope in front of the bar. We've joked about it several times but Phil used to live in an area where the velvet rope was always used at clubs and despises it. I just think it's a funny image to have it in front of the bar.

I don't really have any use of one, I know who comes and goes and who should get in before others. It seems to be a regular thing on here for me to bitch about.

If there's a long line outside most of the regulars don't mind waiting for a few minutes to get in. They know I'll get them in faster than if they were to wait in line. Some nights when we get really busy early I'll have two lines for the bar, one for the regulars and one for everyone else. Basically the same idea as a velet rope. It's rare that two lines happen but it does once in a while.

It's funny when this happens, people in line will notice how the second line is moving faster so they'll jump over to that line. They're thinking that they'll be getting in faster but it rarely works that way.

I jump from one line to the other letting people in. Obviously more from the regulars line until I can make that line disappear. Once in a while I'll run into some nobodies in the regulars line.

"Hey guys, your line's over there."

"Oh, we saw this line moving faster so we jumped over here."

"Thats nice, you need to go back to the end of that line."

"What? No way man, can't we just be next in that line? We've been waiting too."

"Nope. End of that line guys... or just go somewhere else."

"Man... bullshit...."

They usually either walk over to the other line or they decide to argue more and get refused entrance.

One of the biggest things that has made my job easier from the start was one simple rule.
Argue with me and you don't get into the bar.


The way I look at it, if your willing to argue with me than your willing to stiff the bar on drinks, grab the waitresses, or just be a big asshole inside the bar. All things we don't want but they do make for an interesting night sometimes.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Kharma's a bitch...

Sometimes things happen for a reason. Some people believe in Kharma and that's pretty much the way I see it as well even though I'm not much of a religious person. I guess I just haven't found one I fully agree with.

Working in this neighborhood you tend to get to know a lot of the people that work in the neighborhood. It's usually a good idea since people help people. Sometimes it's a good thing and sometimes it's a bad thing.

Mcgee stopped in early one night. He's a doorguy at one of the local bars but usually doesn't show up until late but just early enough to get a drink in and leave. He's shifty and I usually keep an eye on him coming and going. He's been told not to come to the bar before and we've asked him to leave a few times before due to his drunkeness and his mouth.

He came walking up, shook my hand and looked at me with his glazed over eyes. "I got fired tonight.... you hiring? I really need a job.... I can do this shit... easy..."

"What happened man?"

"Eh.... you know.... they said I was drunk.... I told them I wasn't drunk... I was just having a few drinks...."

"Well, we're not looking for anyone but you should try next door. I heard they were cleaning house."

"Nah.... they won hire me.... I need a beer...."

Mcgee walked in and got himself a beer. He stumbled through a couple more times running around the neighborhood stopping at places asking if they needed help.

A brilliant thing to do while he was drunk.

Now even if we were looking for help we wouldn't hire him. He's an asshole. He's one of those guys that abuses his position. He's been barred from the bar for "borrowing" bottles of liquor and for running his mouth way too much. Plus he won't get hired due to his other ways of making money.

The guy dug his own hole by his own actions. You treat people bad, you make your quiet actions known, you do the wrong things and it comes back to you. People can see you falling down and no one wants to hold you up because they don't want the hassle from someone that's never done anything for them.

I'm sure Mcgee will find something away from here. If not there might be a new bum on the town.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Walk on...

"No, it doesn't matter to me."

"So, a pair of hot heels says something and that's it? I can't do anything about it?"

"Nope, take a walk."

Reaching into his pocket he pulls out a wad of cash, he starts to flip out $20 bills. "There's nothing I can do to fix this?"

"Man, listen to me. You walk over to a table of ladies and you throw your arm around one and stick your finger in anothers face and call her a bitch. You upset all five of the ladies in less than 5 minutes. I was there watching it all. Number one, 5 ladies outweigh one guy. Number two, any one of those ladies has more pull with me than you do. This is the second time I've had to ask you to leave in a week. I already gave you a second chance now leave."

"This is bullshit you know that. I'll be back."

Five minutes later, I step outside because the douche is still standing on the sidewalk staring into the bar.

"Hey man, walk on."

"Fuck you man, I'm on the sidewalk, city property, I can stay here all night."

"We'll see..."

I stood out there for about 5 minutes when a cop car came rolling by. As I was waving them over I looked at the guy, "Hope you got clean underwear man."

The cops turned around in the street and pulled over by the bar. Before they were done turning the guy was a block away.

"Hey, how's it going Mike?"

"Not too bad guys, can I get you a bottle of water?"

Friday, May 12, 2006

In town...

It's been a while since I've posted. Nothing much is really changing or happening in the neighborhood lately. Seems like a bunch of people are moving out west and the bum population is getting bigger and older.

I've become more accustomed to the things that go on at work so there's a little less to bitch about.

Probably the biggest talk lately is about Conan O'Brien being in town. He's been sighted in the area but I haven't seen him around anywhere. One never knows if people have really been anywhere. Except one friend actually waited on him at the restaurant that she works in. Said him and his group were a blast to have in the restaurant.

The weather has been changing constantly. One day it's sunny and in the 70s and the next day it's raining and in the 40s. Every day is a different surprise or disaster depending on how you look at it. I'm thinking more of a disaster since it's bringing on the sore throat and headaches.

So I've been working a lot more now and I'm hoping to keep ideas stirring up to keep this thing going. I know there's many out there that check in on a daily basis. Let's see if I can keep this going with anything that pops into my head.

As I've heard and said many times, "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one but you don't always want to hear what they say."

Friday, April 14, 2006

Not tonight...

One of the biggest power trips a doorman has is the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason that person wants.

This is one thing that tends to make a lot of people that have this job nothing more than pricks. The power goes to a lot of their heads. It really shouldn't considering that it's more of a priviledge than a power. But it all depends on the situation and how you look at it.

So when a guy comes walking up with, what looks like a toupee saran wrapped to his head and slightly stumbling I decided not to let him in.

The typical excuses of meeting people inside and coming to the bar for years pour out of his mouth. I told him it didn't matter and that maybe he should try to call them and tell them he would be outside.

With this I got a barrage of insults telling me I didn't know who I was talking to and that I should move back to the state I'm from. Which obviously I could never have grown up here.

I asked him to leave and walked him out the door. Again, he starts off with the insults and asks why he can't come in. I told him he was stumbling too much and to try his luck at another bar.

I walked back in and he again pulls the door open yelling insults at me. He then unzips his pants and starts to reach into them, legs spread as if to urinate on the door. I step towards the door and put my weight into the door. It swings open and comes about an inch from hitting him in the nose.

"Yea! That's right.. come out here... I want you to come out here!!"

I step out to the sidewalk with my flashlight in hand. "Ok, I'm out here. Now what?"

He begins to go on about how much of an asshole I am and that his friends are inside waiting for him. As he still goes on and on I notice a squad car driving by. I raise my hand up and start to flash the squad with my light.

The squad pulls over and asks what the problem is. I explain to them that the man had punched the door and attempted to urinate on it as well. I told them that all I wanted was the man to leave the area.

"All I want to know is why. What's the reason I can't go in the bar!?"

At this point I walked back in the bar as I heard the officer tell the man. "Hey buddy, he's got the right to refuse you service for any reason he wants. Try taking it down the street and don't bother him anymore."

I looked out again and the man had started walking off.

Five minutes later the man came back. This time he sat in his car in front of the bar. As people came in I could hear him yelling for me to come outside. Definitely, I'm stupid enough to walk outside where your sitting in your car. Where you could possibly pull a gun up and blast one into my chest. I'm just that stupid, you fuckin dumbass.

I look out at the man and pull out my cell phone. I make sure he sees me on my phone and I make movements like I'm describing him and his car. He then watches me, flips me the finger and takes off.

Hoping this got him to finally leave I go back to a normal night. If only....

A couple hours later, Phil's up by the door with me. The nights going pretty smooth and then Phil notices something. "Is that the douche bag that tried coming in earlier?"

I turned and looked out the door. Across the street, sitting in his car and staring at the bar is the douche bag.

"Stay inside, I'll see if I can grab some cops." Phil walks out and goes around the corner.

I stay inside the doorway and keep an eye on the car. I already had his plate numbers and his description, along with some witnesses.

As I was looking over the man flipped me the finger again. A semi pulled up to the light, blocking my view of the car. As the semi pulled away the man was being pulled out of the car by a couple of the boys in blue.

They pulled him out of the car, searched him and one officer moved his car and the other put him into the back of the car.

I stepped out in front of the bar as they were turning the car around to head out. The man glared at me from the back of the car. I couldn't resist to just wave to him as he was being carted away.

How stupid do you have to be to get that upset about not being able to get into a bar? There's only about 50 or 60 other bars you could go to and he could have gotten into about half of them.

Maybe the saran wrap was on his head because part of his brain fell out.

Friday, March 10, 2006

IDs...

People change over the years, both physically and otherwise. So if you used to be a 100 pounds heavier wouldn't you get a new ID just to get rid of that old picture?

Whenever I get an ID that looks off or looks like it might be your older sister or brother I ask for a second form of identification. Makes sense to me. In my wallet right now I probably have 3 or 4 different forms of ID.

When I ask someone for a second form of ID and they don't have anything at all with them it's usually a fake. In these times people usually have a credit card or check book or a second ID with them.

"I live right around the block, can I go get my other ID and come back?"

"Sure, I'll just hold on to this one until you come back."

"Why? I'll be right back."

"Well, just to make sure you do."

"Ok, listen. It's my sisters ID and if she found out I took it she'll be really pissed."

"Oh, well in that case, I guess you won't need to come back for this one. Have a good night."

I've been wondering about this for a while.

How many IDs do most people carry? I normally see people carrying at least 2, especially if their ID has been doubted before.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Again..

The weather's changing. The days seem to be getting a little longer and the people are getting stupid again.

When the weathers really nice out or really crappy, you can count on the people being stupid. I don't know why people get that way but they do.

Maybe when it's really crappy out they want to get really drunk to forget their blues. When it's really nice out they want to celebrate. No one really knows except for them. I could sit here and speculate on it all for hours but that'd probly annoy you and it'd waste a lot of time.

This time of year is usually the Changing of the Bums too.

Changing of the Bums is pretty simple. The bums that were around last summer and this past winter that got on everyones nerves head off for a new area. Like clockwork, new ones take their place. It's almost like a giant system of placement. Maybe they have a union or a newsletter that no one knows about. Kinda like the markings hobos used to use to tell if a town was friendly.

Hobos and bums are basically the same. Ones in the city and ones on the road. So I'm sure they have some kind of thing going on.

"Yea man, if you act all crazy up there by Joshua's Dog stand you'll get more cash than if you sing. But if you go downtown an bring along a dog you'll get even more. dem people down there fall for the lost puppy bit..."

I actually grew up in an area where the hobos left signs up on the railroad tracks. I don't think there were ever any around when I was a kid though.

So with new bums comes the ever lasting circle of telling them to take off. Some run off quick, some walk to the edge of the property, some try to talk to you as to why they're there to begin with, and some just act like they're deaf.

The ones that act deaf are kinda funny. When they start to walk off I drop a few coins on the ground to see if they hear it. 90% of the time they do and turn around looking at me. They grab the coins and walk away.

Most of the guys can be easily swayed to stay away. I'll give them a couple smokes or a buck or two and they keep their distance. I don't do that with all of them but there is one or two that I'll help out occasionally. Those are the guys that are in the neighborhood all the time. It's always nice to have an extra set of eyes and ears in the neighborhood.

Some of these guys have a pretty good racket going on. They can find just about anything you might want. Of course, what ever it is it's never up to par. There's usually something wrong with it but they try and you gotta give that to them.

One of the guys even offers to watch peoples cars for a dollar. He'll watch your car and make sure no one messes with it. Most people give him the dollar just because they think he would do something to it if they don't. I think that ones pretty funny. The guys not going to do anything for the simple reason you could finger him if something did happen. That's a good racket.

So with changes come the same old problems. Just new characters.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Comfort Zone...

People tend to get a comfort zone after inhabiting certain locales. They don't understand that some things are a privilege. Cutting the line, discounted drinks here and there, and getting to hang out once in a while after closing to finish up.

Then when there's a problem I usually listen to their side of the story. If they're not the types to cause any problems their side gets more merit than the other.

Some of these people have been pushing their limits lately. One regular came up to the front door and in his hands was another guy. Jake had a hold of this guys arms and was walking him out. He shoved him through the door and told me that he can't come back in.

I stood there looking at him confused. "What's going on?"

"That guy can't come back in!"

"What the hell happened?"

"He kept buggin me an my old lady."

"And?"

"And.. I told him if he kept doin it he was gonna have to leave."

"Ok, number one... Who the hell are you to throw someone out?"

"Man, I've been coming here for years so if I...."

"Wait, ok? I don't care if you've been coming here since you were born. You don't throw anyone out. Your a customer. That's all you are. If someone's giving you problems then you need to ask someone to have him removed."

"All the bartenders were busy and.."

"Don't care. You think just because you come in here a lot means you can do this shit? Your nothing more than a customer like that guy. How bout if I just start throwing out everyone that annoys me."

"You should man, it's your job to keep the idiots out."

"Ok. Got your coat? Your leaving."

"What! What the fuck did I do?"

"You just threw out a paying customer and your trying to tell me how to do my job. Your annoying me. So by your standards you should leave."

"Man, fuck this. You got some double standards you know."

"Nope, I'm just gonna get rid of the people that annoy me. I'll let the waitress know to tell your "old lady" that you won't be coming back."

"Fuck you man."

Jake stormed out and shot his little glares at me through the door while he waited for his girl outside.

I don't mind regulars coming up and letting me know about certain people. It's nice having that extra set of eyes. The ones that do know that it's an employees call over all that will get someone tossed. They know that it's not their position to try and take someone out.

Then there are the ones that think they can do what ever they want. Over the past couple weeks I've slowly cut them down. I've made them wait in line, I haven't let them hang out to finish their drinks and I've tossed them for being more idiotic than usual. I've slowly taken away that King status that they thought they had and knocked them back down to paupers.

When your at a bar that you frequent that much then you should know who you are there. If you don't work there, or your not a good friend of someone that does, then your only as important as the next person.

I hate to quote a wrestler but....

"Know your role."

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Slow Posting...

Posting has become a slow thing lately. I've been a little busy as of late due in part from schedule changes and picking up some freelance work here and there.

Anyone that is reading this and does know me, knows that I've had many different jobs. At times I can actually do some decent stuff. I repeat... at times.

People change with time. About 10 years ago I already had about 15 different jobs under my belt. Varying from management positions to heavy labor jobs and working with computers to a plain ole shovel. I tend to take things a little more seriously now and that causes the thought process to work over time.

A major occurrence in my life, pertaining to a significant other, has brought me to where I am now. Although that period is over, I'm not disappointed in the outcome. It's given me plenty of new experiences and it has helped me to find a part of me that I either lost or never had to begin with.

Hopefully, with a few things settling down I'll be able to keep the posting going with some what of a regular session. I just don't want to catch myself constantly posting the same things over and over. So I'll try to bring out a few new things here and there and some other off topic wonders that might entertain you.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

ID?.....

"Really, you don't need my ID. I'm 43 years old, you don't need it."

"Miss, I need everyone's ID that looks under 25."

"Oh, don't give me that crap." Her eyes roll and she tries to walk past me into the bar.

"Ok... fine. I won't give you that crap. Show me an ID or get out. Plain and simple."

"Well, is.."

"It doesn't matter who's working. Show me an ID."

"You don't have to be such an ass."

"Neither did you. ID."

"I never get carded anywhere else, and I come here all the time," she says as she starts to go through her purse.

"Really? I have no idea who you are."

The woman looked through her purse and finally found her ID. After looking at the ID I did recognize her from coming in on the weekends. ID pictures never change, women change daily.

"Here ya go."

"Gee, thanks, am I old enough?"

"Actually, your not as old as you said. You won't be 43 for about 4 more months."

With that she walked away.

Don't worry lady, I'll remember you. I'll also remember to card you every time you come to the door.

No ones ever really a pain in my ass, but I can be a pain in yours.

The part that most people don't understand about this is plain to me.

According to Sector whatever, Paragraph who knows, Article ???.....

Every person inside a bar has to have an ID. If they don't the establishment can and will be closed down and fined.

It's not normally something to worry too much about but there was a bar shut down for it about a month ago. That stuff sticks in my head.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Long overdue....

This is just a minimal update.

There's been quite a bit of personal issues going on in the past few weeks that have ranked higher on the scale of importance. Fear not, I'll be coming back to blog land very soon.

Stories of Frat Boys being idiots and stalkers getting tossed are soon to come.

Bear with me as things are changing...

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

New Year's Eve....

One word. Boring.

As much as I would love to come on here and go into detail of someone being trashed and picking a fight or someone getting thrown out, it's not going to happen.

New Year's was just as boring as any other night.

Things are a changin....

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Frat Boys & Sorority Girls....

Ah, it's that time of year again. The time when all the college kids come home and bring their friends with them. Yes, it's a great time of year for Frat Boys and Sorority Girls.

I like using the terms, boys and girls, for these kids. They seem to be right in the middle stage of life. At least, that's what I like to believe. It's when they get all excited over little things like a discounted round, a regular comes in and has his denim Misfits jacket on, or whenever a good looking female walks by.

For the past week and a half it's been a parade of college shirts, backward hats, torn up jeans and drunks. The girls are all dressed in their low cut jeans, small and tight shirts, and trying to look much older than they really are.

A week and a half of bad fake IDs, sleeping drunks, and pub crawls.

Even with all this going on, it's been a pretty uneventful week. It's actually been pretty uneventful since the last time I posted. There are really only so many ways you can describe the same events over and over.

The Christmas holiday was pretty uneventful as well. Both places I work were actually closed those nights so I didn't have to put up with the solitary and depressed people at all. It was nice having the few days off and being able to go out myself.

To everyone else that reads this though, I hope your holidays were very good and you had a great time with family and friends. For most, it's the one time of year that you set everything aside and put up with them.

New Year's Eve tonight. Let's see what kind of fun happens.....

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Rock Star Lines III...

"This has never been a problem before."

"You've never walked up with eight people before."

"Oh come on, you can do it for me."

"Listen, ever since you've became friends with a certain person here you've constantly brought more an more people. Stop it. You walk up with one or two people ok, more than that and your waiting in line like everyone else."

"Well, you know he's waiting for me in there."

"I'm sure he is, but he's not waiting for all these other people. Believe me he'll agree with me. I can do you and one but the rest of your group will wait."

At times certain people need to be reminded that they really aren't that special. The rock star line is for friends and family of employees and the bar. It's not to show off to your friends about how great you are or how special you are.

The little blonde leaned in to my ear, whispering, "Come on, don't make me look bad to my friends."

I don't bother to whisper, "Hun, if these are your friends they won't mind waiting like everyone else because they just wanna hang out with you and don't care about the status quo."

At this she rolled her eyes, spun around, and told her group, "Come on, let's go across the street until this line dies down."

Five minutes later, Marvin comes out to the door.

"Hey man, you wouldn't let Mary in?"

"Actually, I would let Mary in. I just wouldn't let her take the seven people that were with her in and she found that to be an insult."

"Whoa, she had seven people with her?"

"Yea man, I told her I'd let her and one in but the others would have to wait but she didn't think that was very nice."

"That's messed up. Oh well, she just called me saying you were being all rude to her and that you wouldn't let her in. She didn't say anything about having all those people with her. Oh well, screw her, she's not that great. Ha, ha.."

Sunday, December 11, 2005

That's him I swear...

"Listen, I understand you have my friends ID."

"Yes I do."

"Ok, I'm here to get that back. I swear that's him on that ID."

"Where's he at?"

Usually, when you get your ID taken from you at a bar from the door person you put up some kind of an argument. I mean, if you don't then you have to take time out of your day to go and get another one and pay for it. If it's really you then put up a logical argument and show other forms of ID to prove who you are. The worst thing to do is just drop your head and walk out.

"He asked me to come and get it back for him."

"Why isn't he here? Your not getting anything from me because this isn't yours at all. If he wants to come back with other forms of ID to prove who he is, then if it's solid he'll get it back."

"Listen, I'm a lawyer, I know you did this just because he's black. I know that.."

"Really, you think it's a racist thing? That's funny, I see about five or six black guys in here, oh wait, look.. there's some asians... uh, some middle easterners... I really don't think you want to go down that road. Besides, if your a lawyer you must know the repercussions for bringing an underage person into a bar."

"Ok, I just want to get my friends ID back for him. I want to talk to your manager."

"That's fine with me."

I get Phil's attention and the guy rattles off his speil to him. Phil tells him the same thing I did, "Tell your friend to come back with proof and we'll gladly give it back to him."

"Mike, why'd you take the ID?"

"To start off, the guy on the ID has had to have his nose broken a few times. That guy had a straight nose. Second, the ID says he's 6'2", that guy was about 5'6". Then when I told him it wasn't him on the ID he just turned and walked out. No argument."

"Good enough for me." Phil turned back to the older guy, "Tell your friend to come back with proof and we'll give it back. Otherwise, the state's gonna get it in a couple days."

The guy stormed off and I stepped outside to see where he was heading. Looked like the group tried to go into another bar down the street and the same guy got stopped by the door guys there.

There was a cop standing there too. Hopefully, the door guys there didn't let him in and he got caught inside. That'd be a nice big fine and closing.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Childish...

"You know yer actin pretty childish. In fact, your actin a lot like an asshole."

Usually when drunks talk to me that I've already asked to leave I ignore them. I walk them out the door or carry them if needed and thats that. When Phil says someone needs to go then they go. I don't question, I just do. If your staggering around leaning on tables with your head down then it's a good sign you need to leave.

I'll be cordial with you and I'll give you time to tell your friends and grab your coat. I won't give you a lot of time but I'll give you a little. This way if you have a tab to close you can. If you need your friend to take you home then they'll know your waiting outside for them.

"You can't let me look for my wallet?"

"Your calling me childish and you don't know where your wallet is?"

A lot of times, I've noticed, no matter how nice to people I am I still end up the asshole. Why? Well, because I won't let you back into the bar to get your friend or look for coats or glasses or wallets or phones or just about anything. Honestly, I don't have to. Once your asked to leave a bar it doesn't mean you can come right back in. Come back the next day or if you have a complaint feel free to call.

"Man, talk to me like I'm your friend."

"Why? Your not."

"See, now yer just being childish agin. I jus wanna find my wallet."

"Listen, I'm letting you wait for your friend here instead of outside. Hopefully he finds it and you can leave."

"No, yer jus being an asshole."

Friend comes back - "I found it. Its cool."

"Man, whys this guy being an asshole?"

"I got your wallet, lets just go. He's just doing his job."

"Man, whas yer name? Imma journalist, man. I'll make sure you get a bad review. Ya know you are bein an asshole. You don't need to. Fuckin asshole."

"My name's Mike. Now get out of my bar."

Friend - "Man, you are starting to be an asshole. We are leaving."

"Ok, so why aren't you moving?"

It's not my problem if you forget something. You do become my problem if you keep trying to get back in. Once your out, your out. I'll let your friend look for your stuff but you don't come back in. I don't babysit people or follow you around at your leisure just so you can waste time inside.

It is amazing how quickly the white collar journalist type are so quick to write up a bad review. Well, I should say threaten to write up a bad review. The funny part is that these guys come to this type of bar to either hide out or because they've heard about the reputation it has. They're the guys that I've never seen in the bar before and are probably only there because they were in the neighborhood after some party or show. Nothing loss there. They're not returning customers anyway.

I think I might lose some sleep waiting for that review. Maybe it'll be so bad that we have to close our doors. Just think, I might get a vacation out of it.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

No more smoky treats.....

" - Chicago is now a smoke-free city. Starting in January you won't see anyone lighting up in most public places. The city council approved a smoking ban Wednesday. The ordinance is a compromise hammered out in negotiations that didn't end until early Wednesday morning."

So it finally happened. Chicago has fallen, we probably will soon too, and it's smoky drapery is going to become a little clearer. This just means that my jobs going to get a little harder. Oh well, if it happens here, it'll just be another reason for people to think of me more as an ass. I can see it now...

"Hey man, can I step out to have a smoke?"

"Sure, but you'll have to wait in line to get back in."

"What? That's bullshit!"

"Oh well, take it up with the mayor."

"Man, you wanna fight?"

So many good times ahead. It'll definitely be weird throwing people out for smoking. Good thing I'll be working so I can come and go as I please.

Hmm, maybe we'll open a patio...