Friday, April 14, 2006

Not tonight...

One of the biggest power trips a doorman has is the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason that person wants.

This is one thing that tends to make a lot of people that have this job nothing more than pricks. The power goes to a lot of their heads. It really shouldn't considering that it's more of a priviledge than a power. But it all depends on the situation and how you look at it.

So when a guy comes walking up with, what looks like a toupee saran wrapped to his head and slightly stumbling I decided not to let him in.

The typical excuses of meeting people inside and coming to the bar for years pour out of his mouth. I told him it didn't matter and that maybe he should try to call them and tell them he would be outside.

With this I got a barrage of insults telling me I didn't know who I was talking to and that I should move back to the state I'm from. Which obviously I could never have grown up here.

I asked him to leave and walked him out the door. Again, he starts off with the insults and asks why he can't come in. I told him he was stumbling too much and to try his luck at another bar.

I walked back in and he again pulls the door open yelling insults at me. He then unzips his pants and starts to reach into them, legs spread as if to urinate on the door. I step towards the door and put my weight into the door. It swings open and comes about an inch from hitting him in the nose.

"Yea! That's right.. come out here... I want you to come out here!!"

I step out to the sidewalk with my flashlight in hand. "Ok, I'm out here. Now what?"

He begins to go on about how much of an asshole I am and that his friends are inside waiting for him. As he still goes on and on I notice a squad car driving by. I raise my hand up and start to flash the squad with my light.

The squad pulls over and asks what the problem is. I explain to them that the man had punched the door and attempted to urinate on it as well. I told them that all I wanted was the man to leave the area.

"All I want to know is why. What's the reason I can't go in the bar!?"

At this point I walked back in the bar as I heard the officer tell the man. "Hey buddy, he's got the right to refuse you service for any reason he wants. Try taking it down the street and don't bother him anymore."

I looked out again and the man had started walking off.

Five minutes later the man came back. This time he sat in his car in front of the bar. As people came in I could hear him yelling for me to come outside. Definitely, I'm stupid enough to walk outside where your sitting in your car. Where you could possibly pull a gun up and blast one into my chest. I'm just that stupid, you fuckin dumbass.

I look out at the man and pull out my cell phone. I make sure he sees me on my phone and I make movements like I'm describing him and his car. He then watches me, flips me the finger and takes off.

Hoping this got him to finally leave I go back to a normal night. If only....

A couple hours later, Phil's up by the door with me. The nights going pretty smooth and then Phil notices something. "Is that the douche bag that tried coming in earlier?"

I turned and looked out the door. Across the street, sitting in his car and staring at the bar is the douche bag.

"Stay inside, I'll see if I can grab some cops." Phil walks out and goes around the corner.

I stay inside the doorway and keep an eye on the car. I already had his plate numbers and his description, along with some witnesses.

As I was looking over the man flipped me the finger again. A semi pulled up to the light, blocking my view of the car. As the semi pulled away the man was being pulled out of the car by a couple of the boys in blue.

They pulled him out of the car, searched him and one officer moved his car and the other put him into the back of the car.

I stepped out in front of the bar as they were turning the car around to head out. The man glared at me from the back of the car. I couldn't resist to just wave to him as he was being carted away.

How stupid do you have to be to get that upset about not being able to get into a bar? There's only about 50 or 60 other bars you could go to and he could have gotten into about half of them.

Maybe the saran wrap was on his head because part of his brain fell out.