Thursday, August 25, 2005

Two in the pink, One in the stink.

These last few days have been pretty quiet. The entire neighborhood has kind of went into a lull. Last night at the venue we had a really good show. A greedy fly started up a band and it turned out to be a really good time for everyone that was there.

It was finally one of those nights that I actually enjoyed the performance enough to actually want to sit inside instead of out on the sidewalk all night.

Through the night we seemed to keep having problems with one person though. Normally if there is a problem that person gets ejected. This person was a rep from a fairly big label or distro or whatever. Lets just say that we were asked to be lenient with this person.

Well, after yelling at someone for taking her friends seat, spilling beers, falling off her stool and then tossing a cup of water, I was asked to give her a final warning. The venue was pretty packed with lots of fans and a handful of people that knew who I was looking for. When I walked over to where the rep had been standing the people in that area pointed me in the right direction and then straight to her.

From what I understood the head doorman had already talked to her. Yet, since we were asked to be cool with her he didn't make a big deal out of it and told her she was fine. Her biggest fear was being thrown out since she was the bands rep at the label. I guess her stupid drunken ass wouldn't look good to her higher ups...

I walked through the crowd at the front of the stage and tapped her on the shoulder in between songs. When she looked back she recognized me from the front door and you could see her get flustered.

"You throw one more little tantrum and your out."

"Thats not what your boss says."

"I don't give a fuck what he says, do it again and I'll throw you out! I am my boss!"

She just stood there looking at me and it was almost like she was going to start crying. You know, if you hold such a position then why drink that much when you know your not supposed to? The rest of the night I stood off on the sideline near her location and kept an eye on her. Met a couple cool people and took away a few digi-cams and erased the video files that they were making of the show. I can see it soon that we won't allow phones, pdas, or anything else capable of taking video. We were allowing cameras that night. Although, I still had to tell some people to turn their flashes off. Whats more important? You getting your picture or the artist performing not getting blinded by your flash?

The lady rep seemed to clean her shit up pretty quick. I stuck in that area and watched her and she never screwed up again. I was kind of hoping she would have. It's strange to see how a simple thing of getting thrown out of a bar can effect your job status and responsibilities at your work place.

After the band was all done, people were streaming out of the venue into the street. During this you got to keep an eye on people and make sure they don't try to leave with a bottle or a cup. You can take out a bottle of water but thats all you can take. It doesn't matter if its a cup of ice or a cup of water.

"You can take the water, but you can't take the cup."

"But it's just water..."

"City ordinance, no open containers. If you want to pay the fines, it's only around five grand each."


Then it was time for the band to leave their dressing room and head out to the bus. All the guys in the band were from good bands that have good names. The singer was from a pretty successful band and seems to be in the eyes of many of the people there. So I was asked to stick close just in case there were any 'over active' fans.

He was very cool with everyone and tried not to leave anyone out when it came to autographs and pictures. He was signing shirts, arms, guitars, picks, photos, and just about anything you can think of. He did a ton of photos with everyone and one has stuck in my head.

An attractive little blonde came over and asked for a picture with him. He gladly took the picture and then she asked for one more. This time asking him to stick out his index and middle fingers together and his pinky. The sign for "Two in the pink, one in the stink". He did as she asked and took the picture. Then asked what it was for. The girl laughed and told him and he stood there thinking it over. I really don't think he knew what it meant. Then it clicked and he just kinda smiled and went on.

The autographs and pictures went on for about another hour as he made his way to the bus. Then I was on my way back inside the venue to finish my night.

I wonder how long until that picture hits the internet...

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Neighborly fashion.

There are a few nice things about working at two different, but same, locales in a neighborhood. Probably the best is knowing whats going on a both ends of the town. The best type of example I can give for this is people that are banned or people who cause problems.

Basically, if you come into either of my houses and cause me problems, then you might as well forget about coming into the other one. They might be two totally different kinds of places but your still the same asshole. If you get all touchy feely with one of the waitresses at one place, what's to say you won't at the other?

Now granted, you might get banned for life from one but that doesn't mean you will from the other. It just means if I see you within a two week period of the ban, you won't get into the other. Does this make me an asshole? Maybe in your eyes. After all, it seemed like a great idea to you to grab the waitresses ass or spill someones drink or just be an ass. So what you put out there comes back to you.

There are a few examples I could use but the one that sticks to me right now is the guy I spoke of in Rock Star Line II. You weren't improtant at the bar when you tried to get in and your not important enough to hang out after hours at the venue. Not even the bands hang out after hours and they're the ones bringing in the people. You don't have big tits, an attractive body or bring anything to the table and your not a boyfriend or girlfriend of any of the employees, so you can leave just like anyone else.

Instead, you decide that you want to finish your drink first. Not only do you decide to finish your drink, but you decide to leisurely. It's now five minutes until you legally have to be out of the venue. Last call was 25 minutes ago. That's when you should have gotten your first clue that we don't want you there anymore. For some reason it just seems like your trying really hard to impress your friends no matter where you go. Well, I guess its another time to burst your bubble. Of course, I wait for your girl to be standing right by you along with your other guy friend.

"Hey guys. It's time to go, shows over and everyones gone. I need you to put your drinks down and head out this door."

"Oh yea, we're waiting for someone in one of the bands. He said we could wait here."

"Yea, about that. He doesn't work here so it doesn't matter what he says really. If your gonna wait, do it outside."

"Ok, well, I just need to finish my drink and we'll be out." After this it actually looked like the guy smirked at me. Why he would do this, I have no idea. Seems like he's on some kind of one sided power trip that he won't win.

"Yea, about that drink." Simple enough. I grabbed the drink out of his hand and threw it across the room to the bundle of garbage cans. "It doesn't seem like you need to finish it anymore. So, I now need you to exit through those doors and wait for your buddy, who's in the band, outside."

"Well, he said he'd be right out and then..." "That's nice, I'm sure he will be right outside too. So I need you to start moving your feet towards that door."

As I was standing there just basically staring at the group another doorman walked up behind the group. "I think he means now guys. You need to leave now before we get upset."

To this the girl grabbed the guy and started pulling him towards the door.

Now this is twice that this guy has been an annoyance to me in the same week at two different locales. Let's see if he starts to get the picture next time he comes around. When your really a noone don't try to be someone. My nights are long enough babysitting people and keeping others in line and having to explain common thoughts all night. I really don't need someone trying to be cool at the end of the night. Just get your immediate people and leave.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Drunk Walk

I never have been a real big drinker. So I guess that might be one reason why I never understand why people want to get into another bar when they're really drunk. Maybe it's just something else to do that night, maybe you just don't want to go home, or maybe you got thrown out of another bar and your trying to get into another. Once your at the point that you have to lean on the wall to stay up, your speech is slurred, and you can't find your ID that is right there maybe you should just go home.

When I'm working at the bar I'm the only real door person there. Granted the bartenders and the local guys are willing to help out at any time but I look at it as a failure on my part if you get in and your that shit faced. There's no reason for any one to have to jump over the bar if I do my part. For this reason I don't drink on the job and I take my job pretty serious. I want everyone in the bar to have a good time and not be bothered with drunken idiots. Even though many inside get that way, I don't want to let in someone like that already.

Many of the regulars want to buy me drinks and shots and occasionally I'll take a shot. This is allowed but I just don't over do it. I like to be in control of myself while I'm supposed to be in control of the house. Control it first so you don't have to forcefully regain control.

So when a possible patron stumbles up to the door and I ask for his ID I'm constantly watching to see just how drunk he is. When he can't find the ID that's on top of the many credit cards in his wallet and he drops his wallet two times it's definitely clear he doesn't need to come in.

Of course to him it's a challenge. It seems that he was just to drunk to understand that I had told him no and to enjoy his night somewhere else. He reached for the door and tried to open it but as I was in the way the door wouldn't open. I suggested to him that he go somewhere and sit and possibly eat something and try back again in a few hours after he had sobered up.

He stood there and stared at me like I was talking in complete gibberish. He tried for the door once more and I simply put my hand into his middle back and slightly pushed him away from it. "Have a good night sir. Come back again tomorrow." To this I got the finger and he walked off.

Now when he showed up at the door the night was early. Probably around 11 or 11:30. The bar wasn't busy but I still won't let you in especially if your that drunk.

Later in the night we got busier and the line formed outside. At this point there were close to 40 people waiting in line and I was right inside the bar past the second door which is about seven or eight feet past the first door. Occasionally I look out to see how it looks and to see how many people are trying to crowd the door so they're the first ones in. When this happens I just have to walk out and clear the area and make it clear that if it doesn't happen they don't get in. This works fairly well until new people walk up.

When I'm standing there I can always tell when someone tries to open the door and sneak in. Either I feel the gust of wind or the noise from outside gets louder or the people in the front of the line are loud enough to notice their bitching. This time it was a mix of the outside noise and someone hitting a wall.

I turned to see what was going on and there was my buddy the shit faced drunk from earlier. Still drunk and still searching for his ID as he walked up. I put my hand on his shoulder, "Man, I told you earlier, you can't come in. Have a good night."
"Dont push me, you wanna push me? You wone like it if you push me..."
"I'm sure I won't. Have a good night. You've had way too much fun to come in here tonight."

Then he hit away my arm and stood there looking at me with a blank drunk stare. It was like he was concentrating just to make an angry face. I then put my hand back on his shoulder and he tried to knock it away again. I then hooked my arm around his and held it tight as I lifted his arm up. I then turned him and started walking to the door. As we got to the door he threw up his other arm and braced himself in the door way. "Ha, thought you had me huh? You fuggin ass, I told you not to pussh me, your not gonna liked it when Imma done wit you." His head bobbed around like one of those bobbleheads you see in car windows.

Now when you say something like that to me I see it as a threat. It doesn't matter to me if your drunk or sober, it's still a threat to me. I never know if you might have a gun or knife or whatever. I may not be all excited about being here but someone is so I take it personally.

I reached over with my free hand and grabbed his other hand that was bracing him in the doorway, I yanked it away from the door and shifted my weight. The thud of him hitting the door grabbed a few peoples attention outside. After the door flew open and I was able to step outside with him I gave him a little shove. He regained what ever amount of composure he had and started to walk back towards my door. "Man, don't. Your not coming in tonight. Go home and sleep it off." He stood there and talked and I ignored him. After a couple minutes he walked off as I checked IDs and let others in.

People in line asked why I didn't just level the guy and get it over with. I'm not here to hurt people. I'm here to solve problems, keep control and to keep everyone happy. Granted, if I really needed to hurt someone I'm pretty positive I could. I just don't see the reason for it unless its needed.

As the night gets busier the manager on duty is usually on the floor helping to keep an eye on everyone. If its not busy he's usually in the basement doing whatever he does.

It's now about forty five minutes before last call and the bar has quieted down. There aren't as many people in as there usually is and the line has completely gone away. People are milling around trying to find their little fun for after hours or trying to find someone to take home. There's a group of three guys and a girl at the bar near me and near them is another group of people. Everything looks calm so I step out to see what the sidewalks are looking like.

As I step into the second door a guy from the first group head butts another man on the back of his head and then puts him in a full nelson and starts walking towards me. He goes past me and walks the man to the door. They start trading words when I walk up and put myself inbetween them in the doorway. I ask what's going on. "Guy here decided to put his tongue down my girls throat." I looked over at the guy on the sidewalk and he didn't say anything but just stood there with a big smile.

Then he walked back up to the door. The guy from the group then asked if the man wanted more. "You want some of this man? I'll gladly come out there and give it to you."

I turned and looked at him, "Ok, either you go back inside or you and your group leave now."
"Ok, man. It's cool, I'll go back in." Another guy from the group came walking up then and started shouting at the man outside. I turned to him and explained that if he wanted he could join the man. He turned back and headed back in. I stood at the door and watched as the man took off on his crotch rocket. The girl from the group walked up and apologized and told me what had happened.

"The guy walked up and tapped me on the shoulder and started telling me I had too much to drink. He had a black shirt on and you have one on so I thought he worked here. Next thing I knew he was holding on to my arms and leaned in towards my face and his tongue was going through my lips. That's when my boyfriend saw everything and told him to leave me alone. The guy acted like he didn't hear him and just stood there looking at me and holding on to me. Then he started going off on my boyfriend."

With the group fairly sober and last call coming in about half an hour I figured they'd be better off just staying. Besides, in my eyes they were in the right and didn't cause a huge scene. It was something I was willing to pass.

Then after talking to her to and taking another look outside I walked back in. Right as I stepped in past the second door the second guy from the group was pointing his finger in another mans face. "You wanna take this outside!?"

I got over in between the two. "What the hells going on now?"

"This guys talking shit. He's buddies with that other guy."

"Alright, that's it. All of you are out of here."

"But we're not starting any shit. This guy came over and started calling us pussies."

"At this point I don't care. All of you are out of here and you can sort this shit outside where it's not my problem."

Then the guy jumped over and hit the man. I threw up my arm and pushed him back. "What the fucks your problem!? Get the fuck out of here." At the same time the girl is trying to tell me that this guy was talking shit to her and her group. I grab the man as he starts to go for the guy. "Lets go man, your out." "What about them?" "They're gonna be right behind you." "Don't let them out until I'm gone."

I take him out and walk back in. The girl comes up and starts to thank me for taking him out. "Don't thank me yet, your next."
"But we didn't do anything."
"I should have thrown you out after the first incident but I gave you the benefit of doubt. This time your all gone and your not my problem anymore."

I look outside and the man is still there. "Hey man, you better get out of here. These guys are coming out now." The man jumped in a cab and took off.

I walked back in and saw one of the bartenders taking an order from one of the group. I flashed my light towards him and gave him the cut off sign. The bartender looked at me and stepped back shaking his head and went on to the next person.

I walked back over to the group and pointed at them. "You, you, you, you, and you. Time to go. The guys gone so now its your turn."

They set their drinks down and headed out the door without any problems.

Ten minutes later the manager on duty walked up. "Hi. You ok?"


"I heard there was a couple fights. Wanna do a shot?"


Friday, August 12, 2005

Rock Star Lines II: Hey, you know me...

The night was going fairly slow as usual and as always picks up later on into the night. As usual, right before the bar reached capacity I started my line.

It was pretty quiet actually. No one complained that some people were getting in before them, which was pretty strange. Usually people are always complaining. Then someone had to break the silence.

This time was a little different. Last week a guy came in through the 'rock star line' with a friend of the club. He got in through association that night. I guess ole boy thought he got in because of who he was.

He and about three of his friends walked up as I was standing outside the door and smiled. Then he reached for the door. "I have a line over here guys. If you would just wait I'll get ya in as soon as I can." To this he just stood there looking at me. "Oh, I was here last week with _____. Is it ok if we just go in?"

"No, it's not. These people here have been waiting a while. Is ____ with you tonite?"

"Uh, no they're not. I thought we were all good?"

"Not unless that persons with you. I have no idea who you are. Just go ahead and wait in line. I'll get everyone in as soon as I can."

Pretty simple. If your not a regular or anyone that brings something to the table then theres a line. Especially when you walk off telling your group, "I don't know what this guys problem is. He must be new cause I come here all the time."

About twenty minutes later he made it to the front of the line. "Hey man, just so you know. I'm not new, you've gone straight in once, so don't try to make this out to your friends like your someone important. And never make it out to be my problem that your not someone important. Oh, and yes, I do need to see your ID."
"Oh, I wasn't trying to do that."
"Then next time don't make the comments."
"But I wasn't..." "Just go in and have a good night."

People don't realize sometimes that when you try to look really good for your date you should pick the right time. I don't mind if your trying to impress your date. I've helped some people out before so they looked better. Just don't do it by trying to put down someone else. Especially the doorman at the bar your trying to get into. That door person could easily make you look like a fool or just not let you in.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

White Power, Frat Boys, and the occasional Sexual Predator

Granted, the neighborhood I work in is nowhere near as bad as it used to be say six years ago but theres still jag offs around.

Early in the night a gentleman walks in, I card him and he takes his spot at the bar. The night started out just like all of the others with maybe ten to fifteen people in it. The manager walks up and tells me to throw out the "bald ass piece of shit" sitting in the middle of the bar. I never once see the guy do anything or drop anything except for get up and use the bathroom.

I never question what management tells me so I go over and ask the gentleman to leave. He takes a last drink of his mixed cocktail and gets up with no question and leaves. I walk him to the door and close it behind him.

The manager then tells me that this guy walked up to another patron and lets him know that he's a sexual predator, just got out of prison, and commits crimes all the time. Honestly, why would you do that? Is it some kind of badge of honor to let people know your a piece of shit? Are you happy that you spent time in prison for what ever kind of sex crime you did?

When the POS walked out I noticed he had headed over towards a couple of the neighboring clubs. I walked out to the sidewalk and saw him standing with his ID out to go into the next door club. I spotted the door guys with my light and gave them the quick hand across the throat motion. They gave the mans ID back and told him to move on. After a brief discussion, and me waving at the guy when he looked over, he moved on.

One of the guys walked over and I explained to him what was going on. We exchanged handshakes and all was well. Nobody likes people like that in their places. Granted there are people like that out there but if your going to broadcast that shit than you don't need to be out walking around.

Frat boys are probly some of the dumbest drunks around. College kids are no matter what. They're free away from home and on their own. Nobody to answer to at home but always someone to call if the get arrested. They stand in the bar and yell "CHUG, CHUG, CHUG!" to see who can drink the fastest or countdown from ten and yell last call, for no reason.

After asking them to keep it down three times from the bartender the manager tells them their tabs closed until they can calm down. They've already rung up a huge tab on one of daddy's unlimited American Express Cards more than likely at this point. They cool down after about ten minutes and the tab's opened back up for them.

As I stood at the door and watched the crowd one of the bartenders came walking up . "I'll watch your door, go throw out those fuckin' idiots in the trucker hats."

"Walk over to the middle of the bar, you'll see who I'm talking about. They're being fuckin' idiots and starting to pick each other up. We've asked them five times to calm the fuck down."

I walked up and saw the group all with arms around each other in a somewhat little huddle. So I decided to do the same. I threw my arms up on their shoulders and laughed along with them until they noticed me. The smallest one, obviously the funny one, said, "Hey man, I didn't do it," to which they all thought was hiliarious.

"Thats great man. But heres the problem. Your causing problems with my barstaff and annoying the hell out of me with your yelling and chanting. It's time for you to leave."
"But it's not just me."
"I know. Its time for all of you to leave. One by one or all together. And don't forget to sign off on your tab, which is waiting for you at the door."

I hooked my arms under two of the guys and herded them out of the bar like sheep. Something they probly dream about nightly in their cozy little warm beds.

The neighborhood I work in was once pretty well known for its skinhead population. These days its still around but just not as much as it used to be. Working at a bar that has its own roots in the owners and managements beliefs isn't that bad. Unless you come to the bar and have swastikas tattooed on your arms. I don't really pay attention to tattooes on customers since just about every person walking in the door has them. Not counting the employees.

We had a guy in tonite that after being cut off at the bar decided to sit in a booth. The waitress not knowing the guy was cut off served him another beer. Once again I was told to remove someone. I walked over with the barback and he pointed out the guy as "the bald guy with the Nazi tats."

I walked up to the guys booth and as he was just about to drink his beer, I took it and threw it away. He was pretty upset according to his face but he didn't say much.

"Sir, its time to go."
"Juzz le me lig mi rete"
"Sir... its time for you to leave. You've been cut off and you gotta leave the bar."
"Juzz le me lig mi fuggin cigret." He then fumbles with his cigarette.
"Sir, you have to go now." I then grab his cigarettes and proceed to start helping him up out of the booth. He shrugs me off and glares at me. "Wha th fug is your probem man. I juzz wan ta lig my cigret."

It's times like these that I'm glad the local door guys like to hang out at our bar. A couple of them walked over and just stood there to see what was going on. The guy either noticed this or forgot completely what was going on. He stood up and asked for his smokes back. I replied that he'd get them back outside and started walking him to the door.

Once outside he did the normal acts of the outed. Opening the door a little and swearing, flipping me off through the glass door and then finally leaving.

I never really did find out what happened with that guy. I understood he was wasted but it also had something to do with one of our bartenders who I believe is armenian or of some other descent. I heard that the guy was talking some shit about him. I'll find out in a couple days and edit the post just for myself to remember and to shed a little more light on the subject.

All this and I'm going to pick up the busiest night of the week too.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Typical Nights

So the last few days have been fairly slow and dull. Standing outside of the club watching people go by is a pretty typical night. Checking IDs and charging the cover or, depending on where I'm working, just watching people have their fun.

Granted I don't mind the typical nights. It just means nothings happening and noone's being an idiot. It makes my job extremely easy. It also makes it pretty boring as well.

Through the night working in a smaller bar you get to watch the theater of life. The guys with their almost hyena like senses picking out the drunk girls and waiting for the right moment to strike. That moment seems to be right before last call.

Its funny sometimes to see who goes away with who. There have been nights when you see the little lady with the backless shirt and tight jeans walk out with the dirtiest guy. He's there with his local baseball team shirt thats been dragged through the earth and his baggy jeans that are torn. His hair looks like a giant mop, all tangled up and crusty, with a John Deere hat on and his torn up Chucks, which are untied. As the story goes if you have the right line it doesn't really matter how you look to some people when they're drunk and horny.

Through the night you'd see this same guy get rejected by the same lady about three times. Maybe it was the um-teen drinks he bought her or she just gave up on finding someone else. Either way it gives me something to observe through the night.

The cook comes over once in a while and we make little wagers on who will get blown off and who will get away with the prize. We're pretty much even in those regards.

It seems funny to watch this through the night. Makes me wonder if people really are that desperate for sex or if they really are looking for that diamond in the rough. Can't be the diamond, I think this place at closing time is way too rough for one of those. I don't mean in the tough, dirty, dank, and seedy sense.

I'm glad I gave up on that part of the industry. I've never really been the vulture type. There are quite a few out there though.