Showing posts with label douche bags. Show all posts
Showing posts with label douche bags. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Douchebags & Hipsters. Really starting to dislike this generation of bar dwellers.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Obama Blues...

"Iz blue..."

"Excuse me?"

"I tol you.. thad thig id blue..."

"Yea.. ok then. Have a good night man."

"Yea.. Id'z ok.. I live round tha block o'er dere. I'm good."

"I'm sure you are. You should start heading home now."

Sometimes drunks are just funny. They start off stumbling up with one hand on the wall and then they just start rambling off things that make no sense. This guy with his suit and tie made no sense the entire time he was standing outside trying to get in. He kept talking about where he lived and the color blue. Everything was blue to him.

As a rule, I don't talk about politics at work. As a rule, no one should talk politics at a place that serves alcohol. It usually turns into a heated topic and someone usually ends up getting upset. Then he started, "You vote for bama?" I just looked at him and didn't respond. Not because I didn't want to say yes but because I don't talk politics at work.

"You did.. din't you? Cocksucker... you jus kilt me..."

"Listen man, you need to walk away now. Your not coming inside."

"I make 2 million dollas a year... You jus killt me... cocksucker.."

This is where he can thank the new era of video. In the past I would have asked him a little less gently to leave. These days with video cameras all over the place it's harder to convince people to leave. He was drunk to the point that a feather could have knocked him over. He was falling between slurs and sleeping by each breath.

After a few minutes a few customers came walking out. With each one passing the man gave them all a warm friendly greeting, "asshole" "cocksucker". Then Paulie was the last one to walk out. "idiot"

Paulie had seen the guy walk up and seen how drunk he was. After hearing the man insult everyone as they walked out he took it a little serious. "Listen man, I can't have you out here being drunk and insulting my customers. You need to move on."

"Yea.. you voted for him too... You just killt me..."

"I don't know or want to know what your talking about. Move on. Walk away."

The guy tried to talk more but Paulie just turned and ignored him. Usually when you ignore someone long enough they'll either get really pissed or they'll walk away. This guy didn't do either. He just kept mumbling about where he lived and how stupid we were. As if we really cared that he makes so much money and now he's going to get taxed more fairly on it.

Honestly, I hope the taxes get raised on people making more than $250,000 a year. It might make things better for everyone else. Maybe it'll actually help people like me out with health care and other things that we need but can't afford. When you make $25k a year and your rent totals up to $15k a year it'd be nice to get a break somewhere.

A few minutes later the guy decided to try to walk in again. I pushed the door closed and put my hand up, "You can not come into this establishment."

"Yer fuckin racist.. Id's cuz I'm black right?" Right after he said that a few people walked up. "Fuck thiz guy.. he's racist.. he won't led me in cuz I'm black..." The first girl in the group stopped and looked at me. Then she turned and looked at him. Then she started laughing and walked in.

She started laughing because all 5'9" and 180lbs of him was white. He was white, bald and wearing a suit and tie. Any more white and I would have needed sunglasses.

Next 15 minutes was interesting. He kept walking up to people and telling them that I was racist. I wouldn't let him in because he was black. Some people played along with him and some people told him to get away from them.

He finally left, stumbling his way down the street. Tomorrow he won't remember a thing but I will. So if he does decide to come back I'll know not to let him in.

He was on a mission to upset someone to see if he could let out some of his pent up anger. He's not happy with Obama's idea of taxes. I am though, a person like that needs to put more money back into the system.

Maybe it'll help take out the "high and mighty" sensibility that he has.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Flunky...

"Hows it going tonight?"

"Good, you?"

"Good. Can I see your id?"

"I'm just going in to get my roommate."

"That's fine. I still need to see your id."

"Naw, that's cool man. I work down the street," he reaches for the door.

"That's great. I still need to see your id." My hand pushes the door closed.

"Listen man, I work down the street at Brockney's. I'm just going in to get my roommate and leave. I don't even want to come to this place."

"Well that's good since I can't let you in this place without seeing your id."

"Really? Your going to be an asshole about this?"

"Just as much as you. You realize you could have shown me your id and been inside talking to your roommate already right?"

"Fine. You want to be an ass about it? Here." He pulls out his wallet and shows me his id. Then he reaches for the door and I step in front of it. "What the fuck man!?"

"Listen. I think you need to try to call your roommate and have him meet you out here. You seem a little too worked up to go walking in here."

"What!?"

"Maybe if you didn't take such an attitude it'd be a different story. I don't appreciate being called an asshole."

"Are you always such an asshole to customers?"

"Only the ones that act like total douchebags."

"Man, fuck you. I should kick your ass."

"If you feel the need. Have a good night."

He turned and walked down the street and sat on a bus bench. A few minutes later one of the regulars, Pete, came walking out. "Hey, have you seen my roommate?"

"He have dark short hair, light complected, and act like a douchebag?"

"Oh man.. I'm sorry man. Was he being a dick?"

"He was being an ass. He's sitting down on the bus bench."

"Can he come in?"

"Don't you think he would be if he could?"

"Yea.. you got a point."

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Shlepper...

This type of work is really more for the person that can let things slide. You have to be able to take all the bad with the good. This goes for more than just the typical dealings.

"I don't know why Chucky let's Jack hang out after hours. I feel like he's stalking me."

"Stalking you?"

Cathy is a really good woman. She's a great looking girl and has a great head on her shoulders. Sometimes she's just too sweet and a little naive, even though she knows what's going on.

"Yea, when he found out I was single he started leaving me gifts."

"You gave them back right?"

"Well, I didn't want to be rude."

"I suggest you give them back or start refusing the gifts."

"Can't we just stop him from staying after hours?"

"Listen, I'll get rid of him tonight but you need to voice your opinion. He provides a service for certain employees so they want to play nice with him."

"Like what?"

"Let's just say they like his coca-cola."

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Dancer...

No matter where you work there's someone that just annoys the hell out of you. The best thing about work is that it doesn't have to be someone you work with. Once in a while there's a person that is in the bar that annoys you.

"Hey buddy, move it over to the side will ya?"

"This is a free space."

"Your annoying me."

They come to the establishment, they drink, they start dancing around like an idiot and they annoy you. The best part is that if they annoy someone enough they can be removed.

"So that means I can't have a good time?"

"Sure you can, just do it away from me."

Of course, through a night of drinking their memory goes south pretty fast. Mine doesn't.

"Hey man, move it down. Your in the way."

"I'm good right here."

"I said, your in the way."

"What ever man, I'm havin a good time. You should try it."

So I took his advice. I grabbed him by the wrist and walked him to the door.

"What the fuck man!?"

"I asked you twice to move. Now you get to dance outside."

"I can dance anywhere I want."

"Then do it out here." I turned and walked back inside.

The little bastard stood outside the door and danced on the sidewalk.

I have to say that it did give me a laugh even though it irritated the hell out of me at the time.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Costume...

I think I figured out what I'm going to be for Halloween. It's always a competition at work to see who can out do each other with their costumes. I think I've came up with the perfect costume to top all of them.

I'm gonna have to go out and find a t shirt with a really lame picture and phrase on it. Maybe something having to do with the old cartoon My Little Ponies. Then the tightest pair of pants I can fit into. Some of those queer little boots that barely go over my ankles. A wig that has the tips frosted and is spiky. Then I'll need to ask a friend to apply some mascara for me, maybe a little blush too. Then to top it all off a big white belt.

Then when people walk up and ask what I am I can say I'm a Douche bag Hipster. They become appalled and I get a laugh. Perfect combination in my book. They realize just what people think of them and I get to put a statement across.

It's gonna be perfect.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Ah, young Padawan...

On a busy weekend like one near the holiday of Halloween it's always busy. There's lots of people wanting into the establishment and lots of people waiting in line. The worst part of it all is that most of the people are drunk.

One thing I've noticed is that everyone is in their own world. Even more so on Halloween because they all want to act like the character they're portraying. There's Wolfman howling, Spider-man and Venom wrestling, and a couple dressed as trailer trash (or Britney Spears and Kevin Federline I couldn't really tell..) yelling at everyone.

So I get to step out and tell them all to contain themselves or they wouldn't be allowed in. This lasted a whole 5 minutes maybe. The trailer trash couple lasted about a minute and they were back to screaming at each other. So I did what I said I was going to do.

"Guys, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"What the fuck for!?"

"I already explained it to you. If you can't be quiet out here when I ask you to you can't go inside."

The typical argument and name calling starts up and they leave. Next on the list, the Wolfman. He just wouldn't shut up.

"Hey man, I'm gonna ask you one more time. Quit howling or just leave."

"Oh, I'm sorry man."

I turn away and he howls. I turn back and his friends are laughing as he points to someone else in the group. "That's it man, don't waste your time waiting your not getting in." His friends start laughing and the Wolfman and his friends start to walk off. Behind them is a guy dressed up as a young Padawan, from Star Wars.

After telling the Wolfman he had to leave about a half an hour goes by and the Jedi Padawan is next in line to get in. As he stands there and waits he seems very patient since he just waited close to an hour just to come in.

It's now drawing closer to closing time when a few regulars walk up and say their hellos. A few minutes later a few people leave and I let the regulars in. This seems to have awakened the 'dark side' in the young Padawan.

"Man, what the fuck? Why ain't I going in?"

"You'll be in as soon as I can get you in there."

"No. Fuck that. I should be going in now."

"I'll tell you when you can go in. Keep talkin and you won't be going in at all."

A minute or two of silence and then it happens. I hear clearing of a nose and I feel a slight thud on my jacket. I look down and see the ball of spit and snot slowly rolling over itself as it walks down the front of my jacket. I look up and see the face of the Padawan slowly go from victorious to scared as he looks at me.

I step forward and grab him by the shoulder and raise my other arm. I pull my hand back and flatten it so I can smack him across the face like the child he is. Then he turns and pulls out of the cloak he had on like it was a layer of skin shedding off a snake. He gets to the curb of the street and stands there flipping me off. I stand my ground and wait.

I step into the establishment and ask Paulie to get me a wet rag to wipe my jacket off with. He comes back and looks at my jacket, "Is that really what I think it is?"

"Yep. Little fucker spit right on me."

"He still out there?"

"Yep. He'll be staying the weekend in jail soon though."

This is something people don't think about when they do stupid things. I'm not one to actually follow up on something like this but I will use it to my advantage. If you get arrested on a Friday night your not getting out until late Monday afternoon. Court isn't open on Saturday or Sunday so you have to sit and wait till Monday.

I step back outside and the guy is still at the curbside. Now he's rattling off about how he's a law student. He knows his rights and he knows that it's illegal for me to refuse him entrance. I guess he's not a very good law student because the number one rule with liquor establishments is this.

We have the right to refuse service to any one for any reason at any time.

However, learning that he is a law student makes it even better. Now I can just have him arrested for public drunkenness and screw him in two different ways. Make him sit all weekend and make him wait even longer to take his Bar Exam.

Why? From what I've been told by lawyers and policemen is this. If you have an arrest on your record you will automatically be refused by the state bar for licensing. You will be denied until the arrest is off of your record. Which means if you graduate you'll be flipping burgers because you can't practice law until you pass the Bar.

"An applicant must have good moral character,..."


Soon enough I see a squad car driving by and I flag them down with my flashlight. They pull up and the young Padawan starts walking down the street. The driver side window rolls down. "What's up Mike?"

"There's a young guy dressed as a Jedi walking around the corner. I think he'd like to spend the weekend in your motel."

"What'd he do?"

"He mumbled something and spit on me. Couldn't understand him but I think he said something about having something."

"Ok, we'll go get him."

Five minutes later the squad pulls back up. They ask me to identify the guy in the back seat and I sign a couple forms. Then they leave as I wave good bye to the Padawan going off to his fun weekend of Bubba and Bill. The cops tell me not to worry about showing up for court.

Surprisingly, the Spider-man and Venom characters that were wrestling in line were never a problem again. Even at the end of the night when Venom had to be partially carried out by Spider-man.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Rock Star Lines IV...

On busy nights with a long line of people waiting it's fairly hard to skip the line. If you have the right type of handshake it makes the wait go by a lot faster. Especially if you know the proper number of people you have and the amount of grease your providing. Grease and knowledge work great in the proper combination.

"Hey man, my friend over here wants to see if there's some way to get pass this line. He wants to know if Franklin has any pull around here."

"That depends on how many friends Franklin has."

"He just has five others with him."

"Then Mr Franklin should meet me and then see about going in."

The perfect mix of grease applied to a handshake can get you into many places. It works with the nightclub industry as well as the restaurant industry. Don't believe me? Next time you go to a fancy restaurant and want to skip the line of people waiting for a table try this. Slip a fifty dollar bill into a handshake and see how fast you get a table.

Here's a tip though. Don't be like this guy. Don't come back to the doorman and ask for more "help".

"Hey buddy, since I helped you out, you think you can help me out in here?"

"What kind of help are you needing?" I was thinking he meant that his group wanted a table. If that was the case I might be able to help him. Of course that would mean that he would have to "help out" who ever was inside getting him the table.

"Well, you think you can get us free drinks?" I laughed at him, literally. I looked right at him and let out a few laughs. "That's funny to you after we helped you out?"

"First off man, you didn't help me out. You helped yourself out. Your not still waiting in line are you?"

"What? That's how it is?"

"Listen man, if you want discount drinks then over tip the bartender. I'm not the bartender and I'm not going to ask them to hook up some one I don't know."

"That's fuckin bullshit man. Even after I helped you out? Why you being an ass about this?"

"Excuse me?"

"Man, I didn't have to give that to you. I was helping you out."

"I didn't have to let you in. I don't have to let you stay either. So either go inside and enjoy the fact that your not standing in line or argue some more and leave."

"Fuck you man." Then he turned and started walking back in.

I step inside the door and grab his arm, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me man. Fuck you."

I shoved him against the wall and shoved my finger in his chest while holding his arm. "You can either enjoy your time here or you can leave. Which is it?"

"The fucks your problem man!?"

"I did you a favor. A one time favor. Now you can either stay with your friends or I can throw you out."

"Fine man, what ever." I let him go and he walked off.

Then Casper walked up, "What's the problem with that guy?"

"Watch him. He fucks up in any way toss his ass out."

Twenty minutes later he's being shoved through the crowd to the door. Turns out he didn't know how to keep his mouth shut to the waitress. He didn't tip her at all and then started bitching about the price of drinks. He even complimented her on her "cunty" attitude. Such a class act.

I'll take a large tip from just about anyone. It doesn't mean that your an better than anyone else. It definitely doesn't mean that you can think your a big shot. Your still a nobody and you can still get treated like one. No skin off my back if someone tosses you out right after you get in.

Get a personality and don't be a douche bag.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Do you know who I am!?...

There's always that one guy that thinks he's the big shot. He thinks he knows all the right people and he thinks he goes to all the right places. Sometimes reality sinks in.

On a busy night, with people waiting in line, a gentleman walks up past the line. He does the same thing that a lot of people do. He drops a name that isn't all that important.

"Hey buddy, I'm good friends with Mark over at Cookie's Clubhouse. Anything you can do for us?"

"Well, there are people waiting in line over here so there's not a lot I can do."

"Yea, but I'm good friends with Mark. He said to come over here."

Here's what most people don't realize. Most doormen in this area know most of the important people in the industry. We talk to other people and yes, we do go out on some occasions. So we know who's who.

"I heard you the first time. I know who Mark is, I don't know who you are. So your going to have to wait in line."

"You can't help us out to skip this line? I'm good friends with Mark."

"Listen, if your good friends with Mark then you should know how this works. You want to skip the line then you know what to do."

The guy turns and walks back to the end of the line. Then returns with two younger ladies by his side and stands by the side of the entrance. Ten minutes goes by and three people leave the establishment. So I check the i.d. of the next three people in line and let them in. Another ten minutes goes by and four people leave. I check the i.d. of the next four people in line and let them in. Then Pancho walks up to me.

"Hey man, I told you. I'm good friends with Mark. Are you going to do anything for us?"

"I already told you. You should know how this works. You take care of me, I take care of you."

Then Pancho squares his shoulders up with mine and leans his body in towards mine. He raises his voice so others can hear and says, "What?! You want me to pay you to come into this place!?"

The people in line turn and look towards us. "No, you don't have to pay me. You can wait in line."

His voice gets louder, "Man, fuck this!! If we would of stayed in line we'd be in already!"

"That was your choice, not mine."

"So you want me to pay you so we can skip the line?"

"That's how it works buddy."

"Fuck that! Fuck this place and fuck you!!!" Now he takes a step towards me. Just a small step. I'd even go so far as to say a half of a step. "I tell you who my friends are and it means nothing to you!? Then you say you want money from me?"

Now he turns and looks at the two girls that are with him. I reach down and pull my flashlight out of my pocket and wrap my fingers around it so it fits nice and tight in my palm like a roll of quarters. His hand comes up and he points his finger in my face.

Now he's yelling, "Fuck you man!! Fuck you! You don't know who I am!!" And on cue the two 4'8" slender girls wrap their arms around his waist and start pulling him away from the entrance and me. "You just wait mother fucker! You'll know who I am when I come back for you!!"

Then he walks away.

I'm really glad those two girls with a combined weight of 200lbs were able to hold him back. I'm not sure what I would have done if they weren't there.

Of course, I could have kicked him in the balls and then punched him in the back of the head. I could have just put an elbow to his temple. I could have smacked him in the throat. I'm just really glad those to waifs of women were there to hold him back.

The tough guy routine is really over done but I haven't seen it in a long time. It's good to see it occasionally just to be reminded about how absurd it truly is.

I wonder if that means he's got a really small penis?

Monday, October 08, 2007

Have you seen this a$$hole?...

Every bar has one or two or twenty. Most commonly found hiding in bathrooms and a big reason why bathrooms don't have stalls anymore. They travel in packs and are very paranoid of you if you approach them too quickly. They'll quickly pull a knife or start flailing their arms as a defense move. They're usually very wide eyed and they can speak at speeds faster than your ears can comprehend. Their general good demeanor can change into pure temper tantrum in the matter of minutes.

I'm of course speaking of the Cocainious Sapien Snortus.

This creature is very wily and has been to known to go into bursts of stupidity very fast. With their eyes open wide you'd think they'd be able to see the trouble that they are creating but their vooice runs faster then they can think.

They are the masters of not causing trouble. They think this because they are usually the ones getting hit first. This is only due to their mouth rattling off more shit than a person can handle.

They think they are impervious to the common man. They're skin is like an impenetrable force. Only due to the loss of feelings since their body is racing to save their heart from exploding.

At times they can be funny, most of the time they're annoying as hell. Some are flamboyant most are sitting right next to you.

Their most common enemy. Themselves. They have a need for this substance and it can take a person from their peak to the lowest form of thievery.

They're a dangerous lot at times.





So keep your eyes open for these idiots. They seem like they're the life of the party but they'll probably steal the shirt off your back if you let them. Or if it means they get more coke.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Empty Promise....

"Hey man, I got four people with me and we'd like to come in."

"That's fine, you just have to wait in line and you'll be in as soon as you make it up here."

"Yea, that's cool. So we can be next in right?"

"I doubt it. There's about forty people in front of you."

"Yea, yea, what if I threw you some cash?"

"That's completely up to you."

The guy stood there in his vertical striped button up shirt, spiked hair, sandals and worn jeans. Then he looked back at his group of people, grinned a little and waved at them. The group started walking up and he pulled the door open. I put my hand on the door and pushed it closed.

"Did you not hear me? There's a line over there for you and your group to stand in."

"Yea, don't worry about it man. I'll take care of you."

"Really? Cause it's my job to worry about it. So go wait."

"Hey man, I'm gonna throw you a twenty don't worry about it. I just gotta hit the atm first."

"I tell ya what. Since you've proven what a great guy you are. You can add a zero onto the end of that twenty and then we'll have a deal. Just put the money in my hand first."

"What?! $200?? You gotta be kidding."

"Listen. You think your King Shit parading these people around so now you can either act like King Shit or you can walk away with your leg between your legs in front of your friends and all these other people. It's up to you."

He turns to his friends, "Man, fuck this place. Let's get out of here."

The best thing about douche bags like that. When they leave and complain about the doorman not letting them in; it makes the people waiting in line feel even better. Feel free to complain that I wouldn't let you and your overpriced dates in. That your frat buddies won't be coming back any time soon. That's almost like adding a bonus on to the bar and making people want to come back.

Then again... If he had $200 I would have let him in.

It's only common sense to me...

I mean if you want to act like a big shot then you better be able to be a big shot.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

This isn't the beach...

I understand that people are different. I understand that people dress different. I don't understand why people wear flip flops to a late night bar. This isn't the beach, it isn't the community pool or shower and it sure as hell isn't the beach.

Flip flops are basically useless footwear. They are standard issue footwear for the douche bag guys that come in a lot.

There's only a few places that flip flops are considered to be alright to be worn.
  • The Beach
  • Community Pools and Showers (i.e., YMCA, Local Gyms, Shower Rooms, etc.)
  • Sitting around at home.
  • Taking the dog for a walk.
I'm sure there's a few other times involved that I don't even care about.

Here's my point. Don't go to a late night bar with flip flops on. It's late, there's drunks out, glasses and bottles will get broken, and people will step on your feet.

It's common sense.

I've given regulars shit for it on numerous occasions. They'll stop by on their way home and I'll look at their feet and kind of laugh when I see the flip flops. They explain how they were at the beach and I end the conversation with, "Not my fault if you cut your foot open. Have fun."

I wear steel toe boots at work. Why? Because I've always had to have steel toe boots for previous jobs and they're what I'm comfortable wearing. Six or eight people step on my feet on a busy night, with the steel toes I don't feel it. Plus you never know what else they might be good for. The soles and heels are thick so not much is going to go through them; especially not glass from a bottle. They also give great ankle support in case I need to run down some one skipping out on their bill.

Anyways, I really don't want to have to call an ambulance because you come into the bar and step on glass or your toe gets cut open from it being exposed.

So how bout we leave the flip flops and sandals at home.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Homeland...

Like any other person that lives in a bigger city and likes to afford living and not just inhabiting; I have a roommate.

It's not a bad thing entirely. Rent's cheap, bills are cheap and sometimes food is pretty cheap too. The only downfall with the current roommate isn't really that bad of a thing either. Well, it hasn't been yet. Let me explain.

Work is work. I don't bring work home with me and I like that. My friends know where I live and they stop by rarely. We see each other enough at work. It's a separation thing, kind of like church and state.

I don't bring home drunken women because I don't want them coming back half the time. I don't bring people back to my home to party after hours because I like having the things I have. I've always been a type of person that you can do a lot or say a lot to me and I won't really react in a angry manner. There is one thing that will set me off faster than everything else. Steal from me and you'll see fire rain down from the sky.

I own some nice things. They might not be nice to you but they are to me. I paid money for them and I like them where they are and how they are. This is the main reason I don't bring a lot of people back to the house. That and out of respect to my roommate since she usually has to be up early for what ever she's doing.

Now she doesn't bring home a lot of people. In fact, most of the people she brings over are pretty decent. As with everything there are exceptions.

I came home early one night and walk into the apartment. I hear the tv on so I peek my head into the living room. The roommate, Sheila, is sitting on the couch with a guy. I step in to say hello and get a look at the guy. He says hey and I turn and walk out of the room.

Out of respect to Sheila I don't automatically grab this guy and toss him out the window.

So I go back to my room and sit here at the window of enlightenment. After a while I hear the door open and close so I step out to see who left or came in. Sheila's standing there and the guy had left.

"Who's that guy?"

"Oh Charlie? He's a good guy, I've known him for a little while now."

"Well Charlie's lucky I didn't break a boot off in his ass about a week ago."

"Really? He's always been really cool with me."

"I had to toss him out of the bar. He was a little jack ass."

"Yea, he gets that way some times I'm told."

"Not around me again I hope."

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Litter Bug...

Ultimately there's always someone that walks up to the bar with food. It's just a normal thing that people do. They drink, get hungry and grab some food from one of the street vendors as they go on to the next bar. Some do it because they're hungry and some think it will sober them up so they can stay out longer and drink more. For some reason they think, if they eat, it will soak up that belly full of booze and make room for more.

So, one night a couple of guys come walking up to the front of the bar. They were the typical type of douche bags. The type of guys that either are still in college or are trying to hold on to those glamourous years of high fiving and chasing women with their abilities of spending their parents money. I think I even have a visual for this one...



I thought I did...

So when these two guys come walking up they both have food. No big deal really, I explain to them that they have to finish their food before coming in and they both nod their heads in agreement. Then they start shoving the food into their mouths and the paper plates, napkins and other things they have all fall to the sidewalk. In typical douche bag fashion they let out a little yell, give each other a high five and start to dig their wallets out to give me their ID's.

Now, I'm not going to say that this town is a clean town, everyone knows that it isn't. There's garbage all over the place and there are people that get paid to clean up after all the inconsiderate slobs. From what I understand they make really good money too. Well, they either make good money or they're doing it as a community service because they did something stupid before.

As DB#1 goes to hand me his ID, I look down at the sidewalk.

Me: "You guys gonna leave that garbage there?"

DB#1: "Uh, yea bro. We're here to drink!"

Me: "Ok.. I need you to pick up that garbage first though."

DB#1: "It's cool dude. Someone gets paid to do that. They'll get it in the morning." He then laughs and looks at his friend.

Me: "Yea, it's not cool. If you guys want to come in then you need to pick up your garbage. It's not about people being paid to clean up after you. It's a respect type thing. You leave your garbage here and it's not showing much respect for me, the bar, or many other things."

DB#1: "Dude, why you gotta be an asshole?"

Me: "Really? I'm being an asshole because I'm asking you to respect something else instead of your hair gel and your parents credit card?"

As DB#1 and I are starting our conversation I could see that DB#2 was listening very closely. In fact, he even started picking up the garbage as his counterpart kept arguing with me.

DB#2: "Alright man, is there a garbage can near by?"

Me: "There's one right around the corner. Thanks."

DB#1: "You actually picked that shit up? HA HA HA!!"

DB#2: "Yea... he's kinda right and he won't let us in if we don't."

So after I the guy picks up the garbage and tosses it I check their ID's. I tell them thank you for picking it up and they start walking in. As they walk in I walk in behind them just to take a look and see how things are inside.

DB#1 (turning to DB#2): "Man, that guys a fuckin asshole huh?"

I tap the guy on the shoulder. "Excuse me?"

DB#1: "What man? You got a problem?"

Me: "I do now. Come on, it's time to go."

DB#2 (looking at his friend): "Dude, what the fuck? You can't keep your mouth shut for a second?"

They walk out without a problem and head down the street arguing with each other like a married couple. I could hear them arguing until they rounded the corner a block away.

I don't ask for much. I ask for respect. For me, the establishment, and the people around you. At one time this was a common idea among all people. As time goes by people tend to forget the lessons that were learned by our elders. Is it the elders fault for the younger generation ignoring them or is it the fault of the peers that just let things go because that's just how their friends are?

You can choose your friends, you can't choose your family.