Tuesday, June 27, 2006

No really, your too good....

The local festival is all over. It was pretty quiet with a few exceptions here and there. Mostly just drunks trying to come in and then argueing with me outside that they weren't good enough to come in.

That's right...

That they weren't good enough to come in.

Sometimes it's fun to be at the front door. Someone walks up, drunk off their ass, and I refuse them entrance. They start argueing that they're not too drunk, then it changes that I don't think they're good enough to come in. I agree.

I tell them that, yes, you are too good to come into this bar. You should try another bar because you are too good to come into our tiny, ugly bar. That we don't deserve you inside.

And just like I changed from your not good enough to - your too good to come in, they get confused. Then they say that I shouldn't try to get them in the bar and they're going to take their business somewhere else.

I act a little sad but then wish them a good night.

McGee came through again, looking the worse for wear. Drunk every night and eyes glazed over. Sad part is, he shows up early and looks like crap. He did take a short break for a few days though. Then I saw him walking around one night when I was leaving my house.

He had the same clothes on as he did last time I saw him out and he was carrying the ole brown bag special. For those of you that don't know what that is, it's basically a bottle of booze bought from the liquor store wrapped in a brown paper bag. He was already stumbling a little and it was only around 1 in the afternoon.

Some people get wrapped up in the liquor and what ever else they get into. I'm glad I've seen the damage that could happen through past experiences and watching people destroy themselves. Then again, many people have and have followed that road.

There's no real way to tell why people do certain things. I guess I just like to have control of myself. It's a good thing to have and a bad thing to lose.

Sunday, June 18, 2006


With the summer coming full steam there are always festivals all over the city. Each festival is completely different whether it's for a country's liberation, a religious factor, or just about any other reason you could think of (food, beer, etc.).

So with the local festivals going on we always get people in that we never see before and will probably never see again. Usually it's a quiet crowd but once in a while there are a few loud mouths, nothing too major.

The biggest pain is just the car horns blaring and idiots running in the streets. Which makes for doing anything other than sitting at home a pain as well. Traffics backed up, horns blaring everywhere, and people jamming up the streets and walking whenever and where ever they want to.

I was on my way to work and a group of people walked across the street in front of traffic causing traffic to stop and allow them to get by.

Then a simple thought ran through my head. If I was a sick and twisted person I'd probably just run them over. There's no crosswalk, no cops directing traffic and according to law they were in the wrong, even if they got hit by a car. As long as you don't run your not at fault.

Of course, thoughts run through everyones head like that from time to time. It's just a good thing it rarely happens.

The big weekend is coming up in just a couple weeks. Fireworks, gunshots, drunks, and a slew of other things that may or may not turn into problems.

Last year was fairly quiet but if these little festivals are a sign I think it might be a little louder this year. Time will tell.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Keep on knocking but you can't come in...

One night a regular came walking up with three friends while I had a line in front of the bar. When I looked over at her she raised up four fingers to let me know there were four of them total. She walked up and I told her it'd be five or ten minutes but she'd get in faster than if she waited. Then her three friends walked up.

"Is this guy with you? Cause that's a problem."

"Oh yea, he's with me... I work with him and..."

"He's an asshole, he's not coming in."

The tall man that was with the girl walked up. "Is Stewart here? I'm friends with Stewart."

"He's not working tonight and it doesn't matter. Your a pain in my ass, your not coming in."

As the tall man reaches for the door handle, "Stewart said I could walk in any time I wanted."

Now Stewart is a fairly nice guy. He's one of the bartenders and the complete opposite of me. I've helped him out with this tall guy before and then later explained to him how much of an ass he is. To which Stewarts only reply was, "Hey man, if he's annoying you then fuck him, he can wait or he doesn't have to come in."

I grab the tall man by his wrist, "That's nice, as soon as Stewart is my boss and tells me what to do I'll listen. Until then, your still a pain in my ass that's growing and your not coming into this bar."

The tall man looks at the girl and with a roll of his eyes says, "I told you he's an asshole, I don't know why you wanted to come here."

"Well, maybe you should leave. I never have this kind of problem here."

The tall man stood there and glared at me. It was kind of funny. He was about two or three inches taller than me and much smaller weight wise. Then he spun around and grabbed his date and got in a cab.

The girl looked at me and started to apologize when I bluntly cut her off in mid sentence.

"Only two of you?" I asked with a grin.

She smiled back, "Yea, only two."

"Well then, come on in and enjoy yourselves."

Velvet Rope...

We've never had a velvet rope in front of the bar. We've joked about it several times but Phil used to live in an area where the velvet rope was always used at clubs and despises it. I just think it's a funny image to have it in front of the bar.

I don't really have any use of one, I know who comes and goes and who should get in before others. It seems to be a regular thing on here for me to bitch about.

If there's a long line outside most of the regulars don't mind waiting for a few minutes to get in. They know I'll get them in faster than if they were to wait in line. Some nights when we get really busy early I'll have two lines for the bar, one for the regulars and one for everyone else. Basically the same idea as a velet rope. It's rare that two lines happen but it does once in a while.

It's funny when this happens, people in line will notice how the second line is moving faster so they'll jump over to that line. They're thinking that they'll be getting in faster but it rarely works that way.

I jump from one line to the other letting people in. Obviously more from the regulars line until I can make that line disappear. Once in a while I'll run into some nobodies in the regulars line.

"Hey guys, your line's over there."

"Oh, we saw this line moving faster so we jumped over here."

"Thats nice, you need to go back to the end of that line."

"What? No way man, can't we just be next in that line? We've been waiting too."

"Nope. End of that line guys... or just go somewhere else."

"Man... bullshit...."

They usually either walk over to the other line or they decide to argue more and get refused entrance.

One of the biggest things that has made my job easier from the start was one simple rule.
Argue with me and you don't get into the bar.

The way I look at it, if your willing to argue with me than your willing to stiff the bar on drinks, grab the waitresses, or just be a big asshole inside the bar. All things we don't want but they do make for an interesting night sometimes.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Kharma's a bitch...

Sometimes things happen for a reason. Some people believe in Kharma and that's pretty much the way I see it as well even though I'm not much of a religious person. I guess I just haven't found one I fully agree with.

Working in this neighborhood you tend to get to know a lot of the people that work in the neighborhood. It's usually a good idea since people help people. Sometimes it's a good thing and sometimes it's a bad thing.

Mcgee stopped in early one night. He's a doorguy at one of the local bars but usually doesn't show up until late but just early enough to get a drink in and leave. He's shifty and I usually keep an eye on him coming and going. He's been told not to come to the bar before and we've asked him to leave a few times before due to his drunkeness and his mouth.

He came walking up, shook my hand and looked at me with his glazed over eyes. "I got fired tonight.... you hiring? I really need a job.... I can do this shit... easy..."

"What happened man?"

"Eh.... you know.... they said I was drunk.... I told them I wasn't drunk... I was just having a few drinks...."

"Well, we're not looking for anyone but you should try next door. I heard they were cleaning house."

"Nah.... they won hire me.... I need a beer...."

Mcgee walked in and got himself a beer. He stumbled through a couple more times running around the neighborhood stopping at places asking if they needed help.

A brilliant thing to do while he was drunk.

Now even if we were looking for help we wouldn't hire him. He's an asshole. He's one of those guys that abuses his position. He's been barred from the bar for "borrowing" bottles of liquor and for running his mouth way too much. Plus he won't get hired due to his other ways of making money.

The guy dug his own hole by his own actions. You treat people bad, you make your quiet actions known, you do the wrong things and it comes back to you. People can see you falling down and no one wants to hold you up because they don't want the hassle from someone that's never done anything for them.

I'm sure Mcgee will find something away from here. If not there might be a new bum on the town.