Showing posts with label You know me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label You know me. Show all posts

Saturday, October 04, 2008

I know people...

It happens when your a kid. You get starstruck when you meet famous people. You don't know what to say or how to act. You might get butterflies in your stomach, start to cry or just become stupid to the point that you don't know what to do.

I've been one of those kids before. Back when I was in my late teens and I met Ozzy Osbourne on a rare occasion. Although I think my babbling sounded the same as Ozzy speaking.

When you work in a music venue you tend to meet a lot of interesting people. Anything from the coke heads to the people that stammer on about wanting to meet their idols. Sometimes you meet both in the same person. That usually turns out to be really annoying or funny. Have you ever heard a person that's super hyper try to talk 10 times faster than they do when they're all coked out? It becomes a giant slur of incomprehensible jibberish.

Most situations with bands are pretty simple to handle at the door. It's always the same basic story, the person trying to get in knows someone in one of the bands. "They were supposed to leave me a ticket", "They said they left a pass here for me". We don't handle that stuff. The production manager or his assistant takes care of all of that. Not our problem.

One of the interesting things that's happened is similar. One of the guys that works at the venue is trying very hard to make a name for himself as a DJ. Even though he doesn't dj anywhere except at work. To me, he's not trying hard enough.

So on one particular night, he was djing between bands and it was a fairly popular show. No real big national names but bigger local names. He had tried like hell to get a guest list for the show but the office said no. Technically he was working and he wasn't an "act". So when his friends walked up to the door we charged them full price. The funny part was they gladly paid because they were there to see the bands.

So when Toc found out that his friends were paying to get in, he got a little upset. He got even more upset when his friends didn't know he was even djing. He then went into explaining that the venue wouldn't let him have a guest list for his friends. He even went so far as giving his friends their money back out of his own pocket. Some of his friends accepted and some rejected.

Personally I thought this was funny. Here's a guy that most people only know because he can get them into shows for free. Then when he starts to play songs between bands they don't even care. I mean how many people go to see a guy play a playlist between bands? It's not his music. It's just plain old music played through an iPod.

It was even more funny to me how he acted towards people. When they didn't know he was djing he'd buy them drinks or give them their money back out of his pocket. It was the reverse effect in full action. He was starstruck on himself. He literally thought that these people were coming to watch him hit play on his iPod and not to see the bands that were playing live. How does a person get that stuck on themselves?

At the end of the night he was hanging with his friends and we were clearing the place out. He tried to get his friends to stick around but they were going to another place. They were about to leave and we reminded him that he was still on the clock. He asked if he could leave and we told him he could. As soon as he pulled all of the garbage and took it out to the dumpster.

A fitting end to his Rock Star night.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Do you know who I am!?...

There's always that one guy that thinks he's the big shot. He thinks he knows all the right people and he thinks he goes to all the right places. Sometimes reality sinks in.

On a busy night, with people waiting in line, a gentleman walks up past the line. He does the same thing that a lot of people do. He drops a name that isn't all that important.

"Hey buddy, I'm good friends with Mark over at Cookie's Clubhouse. Anything you can do for us?"

"Well, there are people waiting in line over here so there's not a lot I can do."

"Yea, but I'm good friends with Mark. He said to come over here."

Here's what most people don't realize. Most doormen in this area know most of the important people in the industry. We talk to other people and yes, we do go out on some occasions. So we know who's who.

"I heard you the first time. I know who Mark is, I don't know who you are. So your going to have to wait in line."

"You can't help us out to skip this line? I'm good friends with Mark."

"Listen, if your good friends with Mark then you should know how this works. You want to skip the line then you know what to do."

The guy turns and walks back to the end of the line. Then returns with two younger ladies by his side and stands by the side of the entrance. Ten minutes goes by and three people leave the establishment. So I check the i.d. of the next three people in line and let them in. Another ten minutes goes by and four people leave. I check the i.d. of the next four people in line and let them in. Then Pancho walks up to me.

"Hey man, I told you. I'm good friends with Mark. Are you going to do anything for us?"

"I already told you. You should know how this works. You take care of me, I take care of you."

Then Pancho squares his shoulders up with mine and leans his body in towards mine. He raises his voice so others can hear and says, "What?! You want me to pay you to come into this place!?"

The people in line turn and look towards us. "No, you don't have to pay me. You can wait in line."

His voice gets louder, "Man, fuck this!! If we would of stayed in line we'd be in already!"

"That was your choice, not mine."

"So you want me to pay you so we can skip the line?"

"That's how it works buddy."

"Fuck that! Fuck this place and fuck you!!!" Now he takes a step towards me. Just a small step. I'd even go so far as to say a half of a step. "I tell you who my friends are and it means nothing to you!? Then you say you want money from me?"

Now he turns and looks at the two girls that are with him. I reach down and pull my flashlight out of my pocket and wrap my fingers around it so it fits nice and tight in my palm like a roll of quarters. His hand comes up and he points his finger in my face.

Now he's yelling, "Fuck you man!! Fuck you! You don't know who I am!!" And on cue the two 4'8" slender girls wrap their arms around his waist and start pulling him away from the entrance and me. "You just wait mother fucker! You'll know who I am when I come back for you!!"

Then he walks away.

I'm really glad those two girls with a combined weight of 200lbs were able to hold him back. I'm not sure what I would have done if they weren't there.

Of course, I could have kicked him in the balls and then punched him in the back of the head. I could have just put an elbow to his temple. I could have smacked him in the throat. I'm just really glad those to waifs of women were there to hold him back.

The tough guy routine is really over done but I haven't seen it in a long time. It's good to see it occasionally just to be reminded about how absurd it truly is.

I wonder if that means he's got a really small penis?

Saturday, September 22, 2007


Standing outside of the bar during the busy part of the night you get to hear a lot of excuses. They're usually all excuses as to why they should be let into the establishment before the other 40 to 50 people that are waiting in line to get in. Here's just a few of them.

"I'm really good friends with the bartender." - Really? Maybe you should know their name or call them to come let you in.

"The bar manager is expecting me so we can talk about pricing." - Really? You should probably do that during non-business hours. Oh, and what's the manager's name?

"I'm a really cute girl and I only have 3 guy friends with me." - If your cute enough, I'll let you in. Your 3 guy friends can go wait in line.

"Do you do anything for 'industry'?" - I do help out industry people. It does depend on where you work and if I've heard of it. If I haven't heard of it then there's not much I can do. If other employees talk about it I'll try to help you out.

A group of 5 guys. - Unless you got at least $60 or more to grease the wheels, I'm not doing anything for you.

A group of ladies. - I'll try to get you in. Everything moves faster with a little grease.

A group of attractive, scantily clad ladies. - You'll be in within minutes.

"I used to work here and just want to check it out." - Look through the window as you wait in line. If I've never worked with you, you've never worked here.

"You know me man, I'm here all the time." - Doesn't matter how often your here if your not a friend of the establishment. There are still people waiting.

One of the best lines I've heard so far is the most obvious one to date.

A little waif of a girl came walking up to me during the busiest part of the night. With her big doe eyes she looked up at me and leaned into me. "Hi, is Mike here?"

"I'm sorry hun. I haven't seen Mike all night. Can I help you?"

"Well... Mike told me that if it was busy to just come up to him and he would get me right in. So I just wanted to see him."

"Well, I haven't seen him all night. Sorry, but your gonna have to wait a little while."

"It's ok." Then she went to the end of the line and waited. After 20 minutes she made it to the front of the line and I asked her for her i.d. After I looked at her i.d. and gave it back to her, she asked "What's your name?"

"My name's Mike, hun."

She dropped her head and walked into the establishment.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Rock Star Lines II: Hey, you know me...

The night was going fairly slow as usual and as always picks up later on into the night. As usual, right before the bar reached capacity I started my line.

It was pretty quiet actually. No one complained that some people were getting in before them, which was pretty strange. Usually people are always complaining. Then someone had to break the silence.

This time was a little different. Last week a guy came in through the 'rock star line' with a friend of the club. He got in through association that night. I guess ole boy thought he got in because of who he was.

He and about three of his friends walked up as I was standing outside the door and smiled. Then he reached for the door. "I have a line over here guys. If you would just wait I'll get ya in as soon as I can." To this he just stood there looking at me. "Oh, I was here last week with _____. Is it ok if we just go in?"

"No, it's not. These people here have been waiting a while. Is ____ with you tonite?"

"Uh, no they're not. I thought we were all good?"

"Not unless that persons with you. I have no idea who you are. Just go ahead and wait in line. I'll get everyone in as soon as I can."

Pretty simple. If your not a regular or anyone that brings something to the table then theres a line. Especially when you walk off telling your group, "I don't know what this guys problem is. He must be new cause I come here all the time."

About twenty minutes later he made it to the front of the line. "Hey man, just so you know. I'm not new, you've gone straight in once, so don't try to make this out to your friends like your someone important. And never make it out to be my problem that your not someone important. Oh, and yes, I do need to see your ID."
"Oh, I wasn't trying to do that."
"Then next time don't make the comments."
"But I wasn't..." "Just go in and have a good night."

People don't realize sometimes that when you try to look really good for your date you should pick the right time. I don't mind if your trying to impress your date. I've helped some people out before so they looked better. Just don't do it by trying to put down someone else. Especially the doorman at the bar your trying to get into. That door person could easily make you look like a fool or just not let you in.