Showing posts with label idiots. Show all posts
Showing posts with label idiots. Show all posts

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Underage jokes are hilarious. They never make me look at you twice or even consider you might be underage. jackass.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

"I'm 24, why you need my id?"
"To prove your not over 35. That's our cut off age."

Sunday, June 14, 2009

If your at a club an pull out your deck of cards to play a drinkg game, go home.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

"I'm one of those guys, I don't carry id."
"Well, your one of those guys that doesn't get in."

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Differences...

There are differences in positions when it comes to security at clubs. There are the doormen that are at the front door and the men and women that do security inside. There are some that stay in one spot and others that roam about. I've worked them all.

I hated being the guy that had to stay in one spot. Usually your stationed at a doorway that requires certain passes to get through. The most problems you usually get are from over eager ladies wanting to get backstage to meet their favorite bands. You get propositioned in many ways from money to sexual favors. None of which are really that important if your being taken care of properly by your employer.

I did like being the roamer. You get to walk around and see everything that's going on. If there's a problem called out over the radio you were to be there before the call was over. You get to catch the people doing drugs, break up fights, catch people sneaking in booze, and the people having sex in weird places. You basically get to walk around, keep your eyes open and mingle.

The front door position is usually given to the guys with the most seniority or best people skills. Mainly the guys that have been in the establishment the longest and know the most regulars. This spot can have it's benefits over the others. You get recognized more (which could be good or bad), possibilities of tips for doing favors, and you get to control more of the crowd. Not only is it your job to decide who comes in but you get to do it as you see fit. This can become more of a power trip then you would think. If abused it can give management a good reason to let you go.

Now, not to sound rough but until a person actually gets to the front door position your not a Doorman. If you take your position inside the club and stay there all night. Your not a doorman. Your just part of the security team inside the club. In the grand scheme of the ladder effect your close to the bottom of the security rankings.

It's not a bad thing. Every person that has ever done security at a club has been on the bottom rung. I was there for a few years. It's part of the gig. You start off at the bottom and if you can handle it you make your way up. Until you make it to that spot, don't try to play yourself off as someone more important, especially to your peers. It's not very nice and it's a little like lying. Doormen don't usually care much for people that do that.

I only bring this up because I was approached by a person looking for a job. He had told me about his days at a venue and how he had been working the front door there for close to a year. We got to talking and I let him talk and talk. He had plenty of stories about busting heads, women falling all over him and the deals he made at the door. Stories that no person in their right mind would tell a future employer if they really wanted a job.

If you go on about how many teeth you knocked out of a guys head or how you made an easy $400 to let people skip lines I'm not going to hire you. Sounds two sided since I talk about that a lot on here but here's the difference. I'm not out bragging about this stuff to regular people. I'm not going to tell any person I walk up to that I'll accept bribes at the door. I'm sure as hell not going to tell that to a future employer. And yes, I will tell all new hires that they can not accept money at the door. This way when I catch them doing it I have ways of taking a small part of what's mine. Sounds evil but so is life at times.

So old boy keeps going on about his accomplishments at this venue he used to work at. Thing is, he doesn't know that I used to work there as well. I know the head doorman there. I also know that this guy wasn't him.

"So you were the head doorman over there?"

"Yea man. It was pretty solid but the pay wasn't that great."

"I wouldn't think so if you were taking bribes."

"Yea, you know. All doormen do at some point."

"Not the answer I was looking for. How's TD doing over there?"

"TD?"

"Yea, TD. The head doorman that's been there for 10 years or more."

"He's doing good."

"He's still there? I thought you were the head doorman?"

"Oh no man.. I was a roamer in there. I never actually worked the door."

"Big difference. So you weren't a doorman, you were security. Sorry man, only hiring doormen."

He came in with his guns blazing thinking that the stories would get him the spot. The stories got him nothing. Most places these days aren't looking for big bruisers any more. They're looking more for the coolers. The people that can walk up to a situation and calm it down and take care of it without problems.

No place is ever looking for a person that lies about their position or previous employment.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Obama Blues...

"Iz blue..."

"Excuse me?"

"I tol you.. thad thig id blue..."

"Yea.. ok then. Have a good night man."

"Yea.. Id'z ok.. I live round tha block o'er dere. I'm good."

"I'm sure you are. You should start heading home now."

Sometimes drunks are just funny. They start off stumbling up with one hand on the wall and then they just start rambling off things that make no sense. This guy with his suit and tie made no sense the entire time he was standing outside trying to get in. He kept talking about where he lived and the color blue. Everything was blue to him.

As a rule, I don't talk about politics at work. As a rule, no one should talk politics at a place that serves alcohol. It usually turns into a heated topic and someone usually ends up getting upset. Then he started, "You vote for bama?" I just looked at him and didn't respond. Not because I didn't want to say yes but because I don't talk politics at work.

"You did.. din't you? Cocksucker... you jus kilt me..."

"Listen man, you need to walk away now. Your not coming inside."

"I make 2 million dollas a year... You jus killt me... cocksucker.."

This is where he can thank the new era of video. In the past I would have asked him a little less gently to leave. These days with video cameras all over the place it's harder to convince people to leave. He was drunk to the point that a feather could have knocked him over. He was falling between slurs and sleeping by each breath.

After a few minutes a few customers came walking out. With each one passing the man gave them all a warm friendly greeting, "asshole" "cocksucker". Then Paulie was the last one to walk out. "idiot"

Paulie had seen the guy walk up and seen how drunk he was. After hearing the man insult everyone as they walked out he took it a little serious. "Listen man, I can't have you out here being drunk and insulting my customers. You need to move on."

"Yea.. you voted for him too... You just killt me..."

"I don't know or want to know what your talking about. Move on. Walk away."

The guy tried to talk more but Paulie just turned and ignored him. Usually when you ignore someone long enough they'll either get really pissed or they'll walk away. This guy didn't do either. He just kept mumbling about where he lived and how stupid we were. As if we really cared that he makes so much money and now he's going to get taxed more fairly on it.

Honestly, I hope the taxes get raised on people making more than $250,000 a year. It might make things better for everyone else. Maybe it'll actually help people like me out with health care and other things that we need but can't afford. When you make $25k a year and your rent totals up to $15k a year it'd be nice to get a break somewhere.

A few minutes later the guy decided to try to walk in again. I pushed the door closed and put my hand up, "You can not come into this establishment."

"Yer fuckin racist.. Id's cuz I'm black right?" Right after he said that a few people walked up. "Fuck thiz guy.. he's racist.. he won't led me in cuz I'm black..." The first girl in the group stopped and looked at me. Then she turned and looked at him. Then she started laughing and walked in.

She started laughing because all 5'9" and 180lbs of him was white. He was white, bald and wearing a suit and tie. Any more white and I would have needed sunglasses.

Next 15 minutes was interesting. He kept walking up to people and telling them that I was racist. I wouldn't let him in because he was black. Some people played along with him and some people told him to get away from them.

He finally left, stumbling his way down the street. Tomorrow he won't remember a thing but I will. So if he does decide to come back I'll know not to let him in.

He was on a mission to upset someone to see if he could let out some of his pent up anger. He's not happy with Obama's idea of taxes. I am though, a person like that needs to put more money back into the system.

Maybe it'll help take out the "high and mighty" sensibility that he has.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Gentrified....

Every once in a long while a club will change it's appearance or the types of events it has. Usually this is done due to a change of ownership or in hopes of making more money doing something different. Rarely the club changes due to problems with the clientele. This change shouldn't happen if the right type of security is there to enforce the club's rules. Unless the security personnel's hands are tied.

There was a club in a nearby neighborhood that made a drastic change a while back. They used to have a lot of hip hop, reggae, and house music nights. They also had live music that ranged from country to heavy metal. They tried to bring in a mix of all the different styles to keep a mix of customers. They worked like this for many years.

The hip hop nights became very popular. They started drawing in a lot of people. This particular form of music sooner or later brings in a particular type of people. People who like to wear baggy clothing, hats turned to a side, and certain pant legs pulled up to their knees. All of these are characteristics of gang bangers or wanna be gang bangers. Once enough of these characters show up there's usually different members from different gangs showing up, which is never good.

At some point after the different gangs showing up it's only a matter of time before more drastic measures start to happen. Someone's looking at someone else's girlfriend, someone bumped into someone, or someone is just wearing the wrong colors. Then the fighting, knives and guns start to be shown and all the idiots involved ruin it for everyone else.

That's exactly what happened to this club. They did too many hip hop events and the idiots started showing up there. The idiots started bringing their guns and knives. The guns and knives started to get used. The club closed down for remodeling.

Now some people might say that it's the clubs fault for this to have gotten that bad. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've said it a few times myself. The club should have gotten metal detectors or i.d. scanners. That might have scared off some of the problems. Instead, the club closed down and remodeled the entire place. They even went so far as to stop all live music.

Now I don't know if the problems were the entire reason behind the remodeling. I don't have the inside track but to me they're just as good as anything else. In fact, other people had the same idea.

As I stood outside of my doorway a skinny black guy with his pants hanging below his ass walked up to me. He didn't look familiar at all. With the club I mentioned above closing we've started to get a lot of newer faces in the area. No doubt they're looking for another club in the area that is hip hop friendly. When he walked up I asked for his i.d. and he presented it.

"Yo man, you got beats in here?"

"Do we have what?"

"Beats man, you know, hip hop an shit."

"No," which was a partial lie, we do have some hip hop on the juke box.

"No? Shit... hey man, you hear bout Sound Club?"

"I heard they remodeled."

"Yea, that some bullshit man. Justa keep us out. Wha you think bout that?"

"I think it's great."

"Wha!? It some fuckin bullshit man..."

"No, the bullshit is the idiot gang bangers and their guns. You think I want that kind of shit in here?"

"Wha eva man.. they jus tryin gentrification us."

At this point I was confused. Why wouldn't the bar try to better themselves? "Seriously man?"

"Fuck yea.. just tryin to keep tha niggas down is all. Can I go in here or what?"

"Yea... just pull your pants up. We have a dress code."

With that the guy stared at me, waved his hand at me and walked off. I couldn't help but laugh a little bit. Here he was trying to seem like he was smart. Makes me wonder if he heard someone else use that word earlier and people agreed with that person. He used it so it must be the right word to use...

Gentrification is basically when you take something bad and turn it into something better. So here he was admitting to being something bad and not wanting to become better.



What a great state of mind.

Monday, June 09, 2008

The Incoherent Mind...

I don't understand a lot of people. I guess that's just how I work. I see things, a lot of things. It's what I do. I watch and talk to a lot of people. I see the things they do and I notice a lot about people. I paste the events together and I get to see a lot of the darker side of them. I see a lot of the bad and not a lot of the good. I also see a few people in the opposite way and even fewer in both.

A friend of mine just went through a rough time. She had to kick her boyfriend out of their apartment. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later and I'm glad it did. He was a slacker and very much still a 12 year old.

He would come into the establishment on some of her nights. He would complain if she didn't pay enough attention to him. He would follow her from table to table as she waitressed and hang on her. He even dry humped her as she was trying to take orders on occasion. I tried to talk to her about it but she was overcome by the attention and was actually happy about it.

As time went on he got worse. His drinking got heavier and he became even more childish with every drink. Next thing you know he's taking his shirt off and acting like a monkey.

One night I pulled him out and around the side of the establishment. I had flashbacks of my father as I had one hand on his shoulder and my right index finger about a half an inch away from his eyeball.

"Listen to me. Quit fucking up in here."

"What? I'm just having a good time, people are laughing."

"I don't give a fuck who's laughing and who's trying to have a good time. I'm telling you to straighten the fuck up."

"Mike... listen man, we're just having a good time.."

At this point I squeezed his shoulder and dug my thumb in to hit the pressure point right in the area of where his shoulder meets his neck.

"Good time? At who's expense??" He started to talk and I squeezed that pressure point more and his knees started to buckle. "Listen to me now. Shut your fuckin mouth and listen. You take your shirt off one more time, you follow her around all night, or even think about dry humping her in front of customers and your ass will be out here faster than you've ever imagined it could be. You've only been allowed to slide this far because of her. Your sliding days are over. I don't give a shit who you are anymore. Now your just another piece of shit."

"But she likes the attention... she said it makes her feel better when I'm here..."

"You really fuckin believe that by degrading her it's a good thing? Are you fuckin stupid? I don't care what she says. Do that shit at home, don't ever do it here again. I'll lay your ass down on this sidewalk."

A month or two later I found out that he wasn't paying his bills or his part of the rent. I didn't hear it from Maria, I heard it from other staff members. I guess after I treated her boyfriend like a 6 year old she didn't want to talk to me about him anymore. She was afraid I might have another talk with him on a more serious matter, so I waited.

A couple more months went by and I heard about it again. He still wasn't paying his bills or his half of the rent. He works in the industry as well and he works at a fairly busy place. I kept wondering why he couldn't pay his share. It started to bother me even more when I kept hearing Maria say she couldn't do certain things because she was juggling bills. I've known Maria for a few years now and she never once had a problem with bills and such. I could also tell when she was upset.

One night her boyfriend came walking up with a few co-workers. He was all smiles as they walked up. I said hello to most of the co-workers and then it was his turn to walk in. He put his hand out for me to shake. I took a good look at him and said, "You need to make sure you scrub your face after work." Either he didn't hear me or he didn't care, under his nose was a white powdery substance.

That's when a lot more things started to come to light. I always figured he was either hyper active or a coke head but now I knew for sure. The little bastard wasn't paying his bills because he was snorting it all away.

As time went on he'd be quiet and every once in a while I'd have to set him off to the side. Information on what was going on was becoming more scarce as Maria quit talking to certain people. As information became less available I had to start interpreting things.

Maria started to become more lax at work. She was never a drinker or a drug user the whole time I've known her. Now all of a sudden she was drinking more and she was even smoking weed. It started to draw even more attention to her. I tried to talk to her about it and her answer usually entailed trying to fit in with her boyfriend and his friends. This just blew my mind. I can fully understand doing new things to fit in with your significant other. I can't understand drinking or doing drugs to fit in. To me that's just a sign of a weakness.

Finally a night came when there was a foul smell in the air. With the smoking ban it's very easy to smell cigarettes or any other funky smelling fumes. Low and behold, in the back of the establishment at one of the tables, the boy had a one hitter and was smoking weed. He was automatically ejected from the establishment. When I asked why I was told that Maria asked Casper not to tell me why. I told Casper to tell me because I'd find out anyways.

The next night he came by and I pulled him to the side again. He tried to apologize and I interrupted.

"Shut up. I don't ever want to hear the words I'm sorry come out of your mouth again. You wouldn't be doing this shit if you were. Don't you understand that when you fuck up in here, you don't just make you look bad, you make Maria look bad too?"

"But.. what?"

"Your her fuckin boyfriend. Your the one she chooses to be with and you make her look like a fuckin idiot for being with you. Your actions make people think less of her."

"No.. listen man, I was really fucked up that night..."

"Is that your fuckin excuse for not paying your bills? Is it your excuse for walking up here with coke all over your face? For taking your clothes off? For being a fuckin dirtbag? You know you can't be smoking weed in here. You know you can't be fuckin around. This is the last time I'm talking to you about any of this."

"Ok, ok... can I go inside?"

He went inside and ten minutes later he and Maria are outside arguing for a few minutes and he left. Maria didn't talk to me for a few days after that. Paulie and I had several talks about him and about how the next time would be the last time we'd put up with his bullshit. Boyfriend or not some one has to draw a line and since this is a work place we were ready to do that.

A few weeks later another incident occurred. This time it involved a regular punching the boy. Seems he was trying to push the regulars buttons and pushed it well enough that the regular pushed back, with his fist. The boy was removed and told not to come back.

Maria seemed much happier at work after that. She even started smiling and laughing more than she had been in the past month or two. Next thing you know, she's telling me about how she's kicking the boy out of the apartment and that they're broken up. I told her that it was the right thing to do and if she needed any help dealing with him to let me know.

She told me about the money he owed her. I told her to keep certain things of his until he paid up or to just keep enough of his things to kind of settle the debt. Conveniently he doesn't own anything of value.

Hopefully he starts paying back some of this money he owes her. Then again, I wouldn't mind having another talk with him. Maybe drive a few more points home and instill them into his head.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Dirty Laundry...

On any night I'm surrounded by beautiful women. I don't say that because I'm something that attracts beautiful women. I say that because they are pleasing to the eyes and they work at the establishment. Then again, coming from a guy that's been sober for a long time that should be a compliment to the ladies.

On many occasions I've dealt with problems concerning them. Some guys being a little too touchy feely, another called her a bitch, another pushed a waitress, etc etc. I've gladly removed these assholes from the place in a quick manner. Plenty of times these guys trip and fall down on their way to the door or out of the door. "Here's a little something from the girls," I like to say.

Then there's the problems that I really can't do much about. At least I can't when it's not at work. I'm more than happy to remove an asshole from a bar but when it comes to personal issues away from the establishment, I tend to stand clear. I don't have any personal investments in anyone that I work with so there's no need for me to get into that personal zone.

Once in a while there's a chance that I can help clear things up. Especially if the boyfriend or husband decides to bring the dirty laundry to the establishment.

Personally, I don't care who you are. You can be the boyfriend or the husband but you never lay a hand on an employee. If you have a problem then discuss that at home. This is work. This is where people make money. This is the place that people come to so they can forget their problems and have a good time. They don't come here to see waitresses argue with their significant other. They especially don't come here to see the significant other slap a woman.

Here's the predicament that I get put into when there is an assault on an employee.

No matter who it is, they get removed. They are removed quickly and as quietly as we can. It doesn't matter if it's a boyfriend, husband or a father. No one smacks an employee. This is a universal rule. If the guy's lucky he doesn't trip too many times on the way out the door. The building is really old and the floor pops up in some places. If your drunk or wasted you don't notice these things. You tend to fall down.

This is a universal rule for one reason. If we don't get rid of you then every asshole in the place will think it's ok to do what that guy just did. Then it'll become a slapfest. Slapfest's are only fun when Mr. Knuckles can jump in.

So when I hear about how much of an ass a boyfriend or husband is being, there's not much I'm willing to do on the personal level. I'm not going to go to someone's house and talk to them. It's not my problem. I will let them into the establishment though. Then keep a very close eye on them. Once they mess up inside the walls it's open season.

I'll even have a smile on my face as they keep tripping towards the door.

As we wait for the cops to show up I'll keep reminding you how pretty you look and to stay away from the guy named John in the holding cell.

Then when the cops arrive and the girl comes out and says she doesn't want to press charges. I'll remind the cops that I want to press charges. I'll then jokingly ask the cops to put you in the holding cell with John.

As the cops pull off with you in the car I'll be standing there with the girl. She'll ask why I pressed charges and I'll tell her that it's policy. Then I'll go on about how much of a piece of shit you are and that she can do a lot better. That now is a perfect time to get away from you.

Hopefully, she listens.

If she's weak then she'll go back to him. He'll be banned from the club and he'll make her quit because he can't come in to watch over her. Which, in the long run, will be better for the establishment.

If she's strong. She'll lose the guy and never go back to him. She'll find a new self respect and live a better life.

Sadly, in my experience, the first option is usually true. An attractive woman that thinks she has to keep that relationship going because she has issues.

We all have issues I guess.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Your not that cute honey...

"Yea, I used to use it in eye drops."

"Really?"

"Yea, it was the easiest way to do it and not get caught. What's your story?"

"My story? I guess I don't really have one. I'm the guy that's always around and rarely noticed."

"That sounds pretty boring."

"Yea... so does putting LSD in your eyes. In fact, that just sounds fuckin stupid."

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Do you know who I am!?...

There's always that one guy that thinks he's the big shot. He thinks he knows all the right people and he thinks he goes to all the right places. Sometimes reality sinks in.

On a busy night, with people waiting in line, a gentleman walks up past the line. He does the same thing that a lot of people do. He drops a name that isn't all that important.

"Hey buddy, I'm good friends with Mark over at Cookie's Clubhouse. Anything you can do for us?"

"Well, there are people waiting in line over here so there's not a lot I can do."

"Yea, but I'm good friends with Mark. He said to come over here."

Here's what most people don't realize. Most doormen in this area know most of the important people in the industry. We talk to other people and yes, we do go out on some occasions. So we know who's who.

"I heard you the first time. I know who Mark is, I don't know who you are. So your going to have to wait in line."

"You can't help us out to skip this line? I'm good friends with Mark."

"Listen, if your good friends with Mark then you should know how this works. You want to skip the line then you know what to do."

The guy turns and walks back to the end of the line. Then returns with two younger ladies by his side and stands by the side of the entrance. Ten minutes goes by and three people leave the establishment. So I check the i.d. of the next three people in line and let them in. Another ten minutes goes by and four people leave. I check the i.d. of the next four people in line and let them in. Then Pancho walks up to me.

"Hey man, I told you. I'm good friends with Mark. Are you going to do anything for us?"

"I already told you. You should know how this works. You take care of me, I take care of you."

Then Pancho squares his shoulders up with mine and leans his body in towards mine. He raises his voice so others can hear and says, "What?! You want me to pay you to come into this place!?"

The people in line turn and look towards us. "No, you don't have to pay me. You can wait in line."

His voice gets louder, "Man, fuck this!! If we would of stayed in line we'd be in already!"

"That was your choice, not mine."

"So you want me to pay you so we can skip the line?"

"That's how it works buddy."

"Fuck that! Fuck this place and fuck you!!!" Now he takes a step towards me. Just a small step. I'd even go so far as to say a half of a step. "I tell you who my friends are and it means nothing to you!? Then you say you want money from me?"

Now he turns and looks at the two girls that are with him. I reach down and pull my flashlight out of my pocket and wrap my fingers around it so it fits nice and tight in my palm like a roll of quarters. His hand comes up and he points his finger in my face.

Now he's yelling, "Fuck you man!! Fuck you! You don't know who I am!!" And on cue the two 4'8" slender girls wrap their arms around his waist and start pulling him away from the entrance and me. "You just wait mother fucker! You'll know who I am when I come back for you!!"

Then he walks away.

I'm really glad those two girls with a combined weight of 200lbs were able to hold him back. I'm not sure what I would have done if they weren't there.

Of course, I could have kicked him in the balls and then punched him in the back of the head. I could have just put an elbow to his temple. I could have smacked him in the throat. I'm just really glad those to waifs of women were there to hold him back.

The tough guy routine is really over done but I haven't seen it in a long time. It's good to see it occasionally just to be reminded about how absurd it truly is.

I wonder if that means he's got a really small penis?

Monday, October 08, 2007

Have you seen this a$$hole?...

Every bar has one or two or twenty. Most commonly found hiding in bathrooms and a big reason why bathrooms don't have stalls anymore. They travel in packs and are very paranoid of you if you approach them too quickly. They'll quickly pull a knife or start flailing their arms as a defense move. They're usually very wide eyed and they can speak at speeds faster than your ears can comprehend. Their general good demeanor can change into pure temper tantrum in the matter of minutes.

I'm of course speaking of the Cocainious Sapien Snortus.

This creature is very wily and has been to known to go into bursts of stupidity very fast. With their eyes open wide you'd think they'd be able to see the trouble that they are creating but their vooice runs faster then they can think.

They are the masters of not causing trouble. They think this because they are usually the ones getting hit first. This is only due to their mouth rattling off more shit than a person can handle.

They think they are impervious to the common man. They're skin is like an impenetrable force. Only due to the loss of feelings since their body is racing to save their heart from exploding.

At times they can be funny, most of the time they're annoying as hell. Some are flamboyant most are sitting right next to you.

Their most common enemy. Themselves. They have a need for this substance and it can take a person from their peak to the lowest form of thievery.

They're a dangerous lot at times.





So keep your eyes open for these idiots. They seem like they're the life of the party but they'll probably steal the shirt off your back if you let them. Or if it means they get more coke.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Unassertive Encroaching...

No matter what you will always run into a person that is unassertively encroaching (aka: passive aggressive) They don't like to speak up about things that bother them. They'll sit back and hold in all their little complaints until they're a powder keg and then let it all out at once. This is not healthy in any means. Is it really worth it to let all that stuff build up inside you?

"Man, I just can't believe the type of stuff that goes on here."

"Well, you know who to talk to if somethings going on and it shouldn't be."

"Yea, but it's not my place to say anything."

"If it's bothering you then your the only one that can say anything."

"I just don't want to cause any waves."

They push things back and keep it in because they're scared to hurt feelings. I think the hurt feeling is there so that it can be used. Just like the other feelings like happy, sad, pain, ecstasy, and all the other dwarfs.

"Listen, if you don't put it out there then no one's going to know. So do something about it and don't just sit here and wallow in yourself..."

People that aren't able to get their feelings out tend to turn them inside. They get upset with themselves and with the events that are going on. They put themselves in a type of depression that is only lifted after they've burst.

"...If you don't let it out your just gonna make yourself miserable."

"Nah... I'll be fine."

"No you won't. You'll be bitchy until you get it out and then you'll just blow up."

"Yea, but things change then."

"Only for the next week because no one wants to talk to you. Then it starts all over again."

"It does seem that way..."

"That's because it is that way. So start telling people what you think at the time and quit worrying about hurting feelings. That's what they're there for."

Now here's the one thing I find interesting about passive aggressive people. They bitch and moan about something not being done and then when a solution for it is found they only do the solution for a short period of time. After that they quit doing it and the problem resurfaces all over again.

It really is a vicious circle that they can break out of but choose not too. Why not? They like the attention. They like knowing that people are talking about them even if it is in a bad way. That way they can feel sorry for themselves even more. If they're lucky they'll get some sap that will stick around and feel sorry for them too.

Then the question is, "Who's worse?" The passive aggressive or the idiot that sits around and puts up with their bullshit and praises them to make them feel better.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Odd Laws...

So I'm really kind of bored right now and can't think of anything to write about. The weekend went by and nothing really happened. There were some more fake i.d.'s and some really drunk frat boys that I wouldn't let in. Even with all that it was just like a regular weekend except it was 3 days long for me instead of two.

So every once in a while I have some sites that I check out when I'm really bored and looking for new things to talk about. This is one that I find pretty funny because you can get a look back at how stupid some of the states were back in the day. Dumblaws.com is a great place to check out laws that are in your state and are ridiculous. They even have an international section for all the other areas of the world.

Here's some of them off of their site.
  • Wisconsin - "While all cheese making requires a license, Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker's license."
  • Wisconsin - "The state definition of rape stated that it was a man having sex with a woman he knows not to be his wife."
  • Wisconsin - "As people used to smuggle it in from Illinois, all yellow butter substitute is banned."
  • Wisconsin - "Livestock have the right-of-way on public roads."
  • Wisconsin - "The government may not prohibit manual flushed urinals."
  • Indiana - "If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Certain Immoral Practices."
  • Indiana - "It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public."
  • Indiana - "Oral sex is illegal."
  • Indiana - "A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17."
  • Indiana - "Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session."
  • Illinois - "The English language is not to be spoken."
  • Illinois - "You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile."
  • Illinois - "You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person."
  • Iowa - "A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public."
  • Iowa - "Kisses may last for no more than five minutes."
  • Iowa - "It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp."
  • Iowa - "One-armed piano players must perform for free."
I thought some people might want to know these things. After all, one never knows when you might be traveling into a city with your automobile.

The really strange part is some of these are still in effect. I mean can you really take down a law after it's been put up? Just goes to show that the cops could bust you for just about anything if they really wanted. Just depends on how well they know their laws.

And any ladies in Texas should really take a look at this one.

  • Texas - "Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos."

I'm just putting it out there so you know. I find it funny as well.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Dogs get to chew on Vick...

I'm sure by now everyone has heard about the dog fighting circuit that Michael Vick was a part of. I'm sorry, the verdict isn't in yet... the dog fighting circuit that Michael Vick is suspected of funding, providing training grounds for, and being a part of.

If your not familiar with this then google Michael Vick and read up on it. Here are a few links in any case.

Dear Vick, Stay Home, Commish.

Vick indicted by grand jury in dogfighting probe

Michael Vick Dogfighting Case Makes Way to Floor of U.S. Senate

So I made this clear before in a different post. I think people who aim for breed specific legislation are idiots. I think people who condone dog fighting are a couple steps from being serial killers. It's the type of mentality that would go that far. They don't think anything about it but they love the feeling they get when they watch dogs bite into each other and tear flesh away from each other.

These people should be put into a pit with some of these animals. Their arms and legs tied together and left there to survive. Then if they do happen to survive treat them the same way they've treated the numerous animals found that lost their matches. String them up from a tree, electrocute them or just shoot them in the head.

These people are useless.

Right now though, if you have a dog and you wish Michael Vick could get a nice big bite from your pup. Hurry and order this Michael Vick chew toy. I saw it and started smiling. I ordered a couple for my pups.

You might want to hurry though, I'm sure once his lawyers find out about it they'll get shut down. I'm even putting a link to it on the right side of the page for easy finding.

Get yours while you can.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Hilton-esque

So all the media hype about the poor little rich girl is unnerving. Is this what is really the most important thing going on these days? The fact that some little bimbo got caught driving under the influence, then not even a year later while on probation she gets ticketed for going 70 in a 35 while on probation is ridiculous.

To think that this is the type of role model that too many kids are looking up to is disturbing. A little bitch of a girl is helping to form the next generation.

I remember when a kid messed up and the father took action with his own hand or a belt. It's that type of parenting that has become wrong to the many people who think it's hurting the children. Yea, it hurts but guess what. The kid isn't going to do it again. Now I'm not saying that beating your kid is the right thing to do. It's not. There is a difference between beating your kid and reprimanding them.

The one thing that did catch my eye is how her mother and father didn't go busting in and try to save the day. For that I give them kudos. Her mother sat in court and watched as it all happened. Her father was probably sitting at home shaking his head in disapproval. Although I can't say that for certain.

All in all I don't see what the big to do is over this near anorexic girl is. She's just another one of those bimbos that causes a big scandal and wants the world to feel sorry for her because she's richer than everyone else and thinks her shit doesn't stink.

Guess what. Thanks to the Honorable Judge Michael T. Sauer, her shit stinks just like all the other people who mess up to that degree.

I also think it's great how all the petitions that were sent to Governor Schwarzenegger all fell straight on their faces. He did the right thing by not trying to separate the celebrities from the common people.

If you want to know all the run downs then I suggest going to the Wikipedia page where they have a lot of information for all to read.

The page can be found here:

Paris Hilton on Wikipedia

My favorite part is how she tells Larry King in her interview that she has never done drugs and isn't fond of alcohol either.

Ok, she must really think the entire world is stupid.

http://www.courttv.com/tsg/parisking2.swf

http://www.courttv.com/tsg/parisking7.swf





Friday, May 11, 2007

Movies getting Snuffed Out...

I'm slowly realizing why I never really read or watched the news before. People and society are becoming complete and total idiots. The nation is becoming way too much of a police state.

I remember growing up to movies that had rude behaviour, slight nudity and funny situations. They were released into the theaters and had maybe a PG-13 rating. Now they want to give a R rating to any movie with a person smoking a cigarette in it. What has happened here?

Granted, I don't think smoking should be promoted to kids but this is taking it a little too far. There's already all of these bleeding heart nut jobs that want smoking banned from public places. Do we really need them in every form of our society? Smoking is a habit, just like drinking, gambling, playing bingo, jogging, walking, writing and many other things. Next will be banning weight machines and gyms because too many people have more muscles than other people. They might hurt you without thinking about it.

Maybe they should raise the stakes for movies based on comic book characters. I mean it is a fantasy land and some kid might jump off the top of a building because they think they can fly. It's just as possible as a kid starting smoking because they saw it on a film.

Then people wonder why we don't have great movies like Animal House or Porkies anymore. If these movies were released now they'd be rated NC-17 due to the nudity. Not to mention the poor quality of horror movies released in theaters.

I guess movies are going the way of music. If you want something good you have to go with the unknowns. Movies released straight to dvd are becoming the new indie trend. They don't even need to be rated.

If the world worried more about current events and less about "protecting" their children from "bad" things it might work out a little better.

Sooner or later your kid is gonna learn what smoking is. They're gonna learn what sex is. They're even gonna learn what alcohol is. And no matter what you do to try and protect them from the evils of the world... they'll probably learn all about it before they make it to 8th grade. And they'll learn it all from their friends and peers.

So which is worse? Smoking in movies or sex in movies?

The stats for underage pregnancies (age 15 to 19) have been declining on a yearly basis but it still costs the government 9 billion dollars a year to maintain. So should sex, holding hands, kissing and hugging be banned from movies too? Maybe.

Then after that we should definitely work on getting alcohol banned from movies. I mean the kids might see someone drink a beer and then drive off. We can't expect them to see this and know it's wrong. We should hide it from them. After all in 2005, 16,885 people in the U.S. died in alcohol-related motor vehicle crashes.

Maybe we should just lock our kids up in the basement and make them read the Bible from front to back until they can quote it word for word. Maybe that would help? Everyone knows that no one kills or murders people because of religion. There's never any problem due to religion.

Here's a great idea. The more a person can take in the faster they learn. Provide your kids with all the information both good and bad on every topic you think you should hide them from. Once they're 18 and no longer your financial burden or responsibility, let them decide what they want to do.

Stay out of my kitchen or I'll piss in your Cheerios.


Monday, April 23, 2007

Drivers...

Just to go off topic a little bit here. I'm a driver, I have a car and I drive around a lot. I know a lot of people look at me crazy with all the other transportation options but I like to drive. I always have, I always will. I just wish half the people out here that do drive had common sense. There should be some kind of testing for that.

Like when you park your car on the street, leave a couple feet on both ends of your car if you can. Don't just park in the middle of 2 parking spots. You fuck it up for everyone else. Thanks man, now I get to walk 2 or 3 blocks because you don't know how to park.

Horns are great, really they are. When I hear one go off now I completely ignore it. Yea, I know your probably in a big hurry to reach that red light up ahead. Your probably in a bigger hurry to whip out and go around me and almost hit that old lady that's in the middle of the street. Ever wonder why people slow down and stop in the middle of the road? We do it just so your invaluable ass can whip out around us and hit something or someone. Really, the world is out to get you.

It's also very brilliant of you to have half your body out the window screaming at someone behind you while your driving down the road. It's not like there's anyone else on the road except for you.

The funny part is, now that you've laid on your horn, almost fell out of your window, and came really close to hitting that dump truck in front of you, you don't have much to say. When your cars sitting you don't say anything at all. You stay in your car and you don't say a word. Makes me wonder what might just happen if I did get out of my car and walk up to yours. Would you still be the big macho man for your girl or would you just sit there and cower?

I've never understood road rage. Most things I let slip by because it's not worth my time to really care if someone else gets hurt. Seriously, if your driving gets you killed then so be it. If your driving kills one of mine... Then you better hope it kills you too.

I might be on the right side of things but that doesn't mean that doing some bad isn't right as well.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

The Stench is High..

Works been very abundant lately. Staff has been coming and going and it's beginning to wear thin. Is it really that hard to find good help these days? This is one of the easiest jobs around for anyone that has a backbone but it's hard as hell to find some people that can handle it.

Have the times really changed that much? I know there's a lot of boys out there that are wearing make-up these days and trying their best to look like women but are all the blue collar guys gone?

Yea, I went through that whole goth stage, I've hated the world, I've felt out of place, and I have done the make-up stage.... when I was in high school and a few years after. Is this emo dress up like women thing really something you want to be known for, for the rest of your life?

This group of boys is usually the group that is in the top list of people that I have troubles with. They're mentally the age of someone that's 17. They think it's great to hang on other boys, they think it's funny to bump drinks out of people's hands, and they think people won't do shit to them for it.

Surprise, people don't like you. They will start shit with you and yes, I will throw your ass onto the sidewalk in front of the bar if you give me any shit about how bad your life is. I'll make it worse for you even if only for a minute. This world isn't just yours, it's all of ours and your just a big pain in the ass for everyone right now.

There's another type of boy out there that is very close to the emo boys. These dirty ass kids (DAKS) are just that. They don't wash their clothes for a long time, they're hair is ratted and dirty, they wear bandannas around their necks, have big messenger bags with nothing in them, they literally stink, and they ride bicycles everywhere. I've had to refuse them entrance for several different reasons including; smell, no shoes, no ID, drunkenness, idiotic behaviour, carrying alcohol on their person, pulling out a baggy of weed in front of me, asking me if I had any cocaine or heroin.

So the biggest difference between the DAKS and the emos (besides smell and hygiene) is that the DAKS are actually older acting. The emos act like their young and dumb even though they know what the hell their doing. The DAKS know what they're doing and just don't care.

I've slowly started eliminating the DAKS from the bar. It's really weird and embarrassing to tell someone that they can't come into a bar because they stink. But I'm glad to do it for you.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Gonna get you.

You know, it's funny. My brother found out that I'm planning on moving out west. He was supportive once he found out that I already have a job and a place to stay lined up.

"Man, your gonna go out there and get yourself all fucked up. No matter how straight you are, someone's gonna get you."

My brother has always been proud of me for how straight I've been through life. He was even surprised when he found out that I started smoking cigarettes. Then again, he wasn't since every person in my family smokes except for my mom. Yet, what he's referring to above is the many different drugs that could possibly be thrown at me. Funny thing is, there's just as many drugs in small town USA as there are anywhere out west. (I assume.)

Why don't I use drugs? I've never seen the reason to. I like who I am. Granted, as with anyone, there are some things I'd like to change about myself but if I can't do that on my own then I guess that's just how I'm meant to be.

I wouldn't mind being a little more straight forward when approaching the opposite sex. Then again, any female that would want to be around me just for the drugs that I have in my pocket wouldn't be a woman that I would want on my arm. This tends to go for anything, not only drugs. It's also something that I tend to think alot about since it was a significant happening in my life already that revolved around money.

I also wouldn't mind dropping a few pounds. Again, if I can't do it on my own I'm not going to go on a binge to get rid of it. It's not only unhealthy it's just stupid to rely on a chemical compound with addictive design to keep your weight in check.

Now, what ever anyone does is none of my business. Honestly. I don't really care if you think you must have something in order to fit in with society. I fully understand how fear can control you and make you think that you must have this in order to survive. It happened to me before. I lost a lot of money in a bar when I thought my life had fallen completely apart. Yet, what had happened made me better in some ways and worse in others. It made me cynical and hard. It made me over think actions toward me and has possibly made certain opportunities disappear that before all that I wouldn't have thought so much about.

With most things I write about there's usually a reason behind it. Usually it's because I'm upset, aggravated or confused about something. This time it might just be all three.

When what someone else does interferes with me that's when I get upset. That's not really the case here.

When someone tells me one thing and then never acts on it or they don't do what they're saying that's when I get a little confused. That's not really the case here.

When someone tells me that they're trying to get someone to do things that they don't want to or the plan they have to get that person to start doing something that's when the three come together.

I'm upset because you really think I want to know this. I'm confused because you really think I care what your doing. I'm aggravated because it's someone I know and I'd much rather pull your head off of your neck then let it happen. The aggravation sets in when I realize that I'd go to prison for doing that rather than be commemorated for the action.

Listen.... I get it.... You deal drugs. The only way to keep up your lifestyle, keep your bills paid and stay out of mommy and daddy's hair is to get people hooked on these pointless endevours and keep the money coming in.

Is there some reason that you need to point it out? I brush it off because your "friends" with people I know. I use the term "friend" very loosely because I really don't know how much these people consider you a friend. Myself... I'm beginning to find you annoying. Your like that relative that you see once a year because any more than that you just want to strangle them.

The funny part of this all.... When my brother told me that someone would get me it sounded exactly like what this person said about someone else. Except this person said to me, "Just give me a few weeks, I'll have him asking me to stick around all the time."

As far as I'm concerned you can take your shit and shove it back up your ass. I'm tired of it and done.