Thursday, January 31, 2008

End of Night Round Up...

At the end of the night I like to keep up to date with my staff. If something happened I like to know what happened, how it happened and who it happened with. Just a little way to keep a step ahead of anyone that tries to come back and cause shit.

I heard about an argument between Mark and a patron that ended up in Mark screaming at the man and removing him.

"So what happened man?"

"Well, this guy just wouldn't be quiet. He kept talking back to me and he just wouldn't listen to what I was sayin."

"What'd he do?"

"Well, I got a complaint from a couple of girls that he kept just staring at them. They asked that I ask him not to anymore." Mark stood there for a minute and started again. "I went over to talk to him and he just wouldn't listen. Every time I tried to talk to him he'd turn away. When I tried to turn him towards me he started yelling at me and I started yelling at him."

"What brought it up to him being kicked out?"

"He shoved me away from him after I was done tellin him he had to leave the girls alone."

"Next time, get rid of the guy after the first time. If anyone gives you any shit get rid of them from the start. Don't get pulled into the shouting game cause that turns into an argument and then it turns into a fight. Resolve the situation before it starts."

"Well, I was trying to.."

"Listen kid, your new to the game. Remember, your right and they're wrong. What ever stance you take, you keep. You don't change your stance unless management tells you to. And you can argue with them after work."

"So I should have just thrown him out for staring at the girls?"

"No... For not listening to you and ignoring you. People that disrespect the door staff will disrespect everyone else. Fuck 'em, they can leave and someone else can take their spot. Quiet night otherwise?"

"Yea, pretty quiet."

"How you getting home?"

"My bike's outside."

"Ok, be safe and keep your eyes open."

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Heath Ledger...

I've never been one of those people that gets caught up with stardom. I've met a lot of different stars from music to film and most of them are nothing more than a regular person like me or you. Well, regular people with lots of cash is a better way to put it.

I never did meet Heath Ledger. In fact, I'm so oblivious to who's who that, I didn't know that he made any movies between Brokeback Mountain and the new Batman-The Dark Knight movie.

I've already heard many people talk about how he had tons of money and that's what happens. Really? Just because you have lots of money it means that you become addicted to drugs or that you become depressed? It's funny hearing these people say these things as their own nose is caked with a white powder. These very same people that I see on an almost nightly basis.

Addiction isn't a wealthy man's disease. Being wealthy just makes it easier. When your wealthy you don't have to rob people at gun point or steal purses from clubs. You just waste your money and then go out with a bang.

Heath Ledger was a great actor. He just got caught up in his own problems and no one tried very hard to stop him.

I have a rule when it comes to addicted people. If a friend of mine has a problem, I try to help them. I'll talk to them, I'll be there when they need it, and I'll try to get them the help they need.


Once they go past that point of no return, I'm done. If you shove me away and tell me to get screwed enough times, I'll forget you exist.

I don't need your problems to effect my life. That's why I forget about you. Once you get to that point your not you anymore. Your a creature that has forgotten everything about who you used to be.

Hopefully, someone tried to help him. If not, then they might need the help as well.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Strip Joint...

One of the many security jobs I've had was in a strip club. It wasn't a nice place but it helped to pay the bills - when I got paid.

It was a dirty place that you never wanted to see with the lights fully up. Even the girls weren't all that great to look at. There was definitely a selection of girls though. There was the 40 some year old Hispanic mother of 5, the flat chested coke addicted college girl, the 5'3" 170lb woman that could only breathe through her mouth and a whole slew of others.

Among them all was the Mother Hen. She was the girl that did all the scheduling for the girls. She could either make it possible for a girl to make money or make it so she never came back. To the girls she was a total bitch. To the door staff she was lovely.

Although this place had a maximum of 25 people in there on any given night she always made good money. I called her Tammy but many people called her Momma. She was the reason a lot of people stuck around.

The owners of the club were as shady as the location of the club. It was in the middle of nowhere, the front of the club was the only area that wasn't overgrown by trees and shrubbery. I was told there was a little lake farther in the back but I never took that path to see it.

The club had a different name every six or eight months. Management would change hands just as often but always between the same three guys. Some kind of legal garble because the city was constantly trying to shut the place down. The city was more interested in keeping a moral facade.

I ended up leaving this job for several reasons. The atmosphere wasn't the greatest, most of the women that worked there were ugly and the paychecks stopped showing up.

During one of the management changes somehow all the employee records were misplaced. At the time I was always copying my time card due to possible misplacements. So when I showed them this they tore it up and tossed it away.

After a month and a half of no pay I left. I had no intention in sticking around if I wasn't going to get paid.

A couple months later I stopped in to see a friend that still worked there. I walked up to the door and said hello to the head doorman. He asked for my i.d. and acted like he never knew me. The times that we stood and made fun of the many drunken illegal aliens were gone. He had erased his mind of my total time there.

I walked over and talked to my friend and he had hurried the conversation along. All matters were cut short and he hurried me along.

When I talked to Tammy she took her time and basically explained that the management was upset with me and didn't want me there - at all. That's when I noticed there were many eyes on me. Tammy told me that she'd give me a call the next time she had a party and I exited the building.

As I started to pull out of the parking lot I noticed the doorman and the owner standing outside watching. I never did hear from Tammy again. I knew I wouldn't.

Recently I drove past where the club was. The building still stands but it's completely overgrown now and dead. I had thought about stopping there just to see if it was still the same. The windows are boarded up and the door had "Closed" spray painted on it.

Looks like the city finally got what they wanted. Morality reigns.

Monday, January 21, 2008


People change. If you've never noticed that within your life then you've never paid any attention to the people around you. Sometimes it takes a major catastrophe in their life to make it happen but people change with time.

A friend of mine saw me change many years ago. He worried and he spent many nights hanging out at my place because he thought I might do something very stupid. He knew it was against all my beliefs and I reiterated it to him many times. I've never nor will I ever be the type of person to take my own life. Why? Because part of me likes to live with pain and see just how much of it I can take until I let it go. There could be many different psychological reasonings behind that but I'm not getting into that here.

Another part of me just isn't an idiot.

After a certain time I moved on. I moved off to a new city and my friend stayed behind. I have to admit that I basically turned my back on a lot of people there.

A few months ago I got a phone call from my friend. He wanted to talk and at the moment I was surrounded by noise and people and couldn't get away to talk. I told him I'd call back as soon as I could. When I did call back it rang through to his voice mail. When I tried again it never rang and went straight to voice mail. Every time I've tried to call he doesn't answer and I leave another voice mail.

Months went by and still never a call back. Nothing. I admit I was worried at times but I never thought about the bad things that could be happening. I never thought about things the way he had thought of things when I went through my "time".

I found out through a different friend what had happened. The things that my friend was going through. Things that happen to a lot of people these days. Thankfully he never did the things that he thought I was capable of doing. He has the same resolve as I do when it comes to the idea of stupidity and suicide. He still roams the Earth.

I don't know if he reads this even though he does know about.

But I'm telling you now. Your not alone. I'm here if you need anything.


The distance might be far but it's never far enough to help those that are always with you.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Digg It man...

So I thought I'd try something new. I see this Digg function around alot and I've started Digging a few articles here and there. It seems like a good way to get a little more exposure.

So at the bottom of every post (under the Leave a Comment and Labels links) there's a little blue and white Digg This Story button. Feel free to click on the button and submit which ever story is your favorite. It'll help to expose the story to other readers that have the same taste. You might have to register with Digg to do this.

Registering with the site is fairly easy. Once you do, they'll show you to other sites and articles that you might enjoy as well.

Give it a shot, ya never know, you might like it.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Gimme a second man....

"Hey Mike, I got a live one for ya." I turn to see Alice smiling, her pale complexion and sharp nose always makes me think of the Joker when she smiles. "There's a guy an a girl in the women's room."

I motion to Paulie to come over to the door. When he walks up I ask him to watch the door and I head to the back. I get to the women's room and pound on the door a quick three times.

"Occupied!" is all I hear through the door in a man's voice.

I pull out my ring of keys and find the one for the women's room. Slide the key in and turn it until it clicks. I start to pull the door open and it gets pulled closed from the inside. I pull harder on the door the second time and it flies open.

Inside the one stall bathroom a man stands. Kneeling in front of him is a young woman with a mouthful of man.

The man pipes up, "Hey man! I said it was occupied, take off!" He starts to reach for the door.

As he reaches for the door I grab his wrist and pull him off center. The girls head goes with his hips as if they were sewn together. As he starts to turn and fall I hook him under both armpits and start dragging him out of the bathroom and across the bar. I hear a loud "schlop" noise as the girl falls back away from him.

I start yelling "Coming through!" as I drag the man, with his pants and underwear still around his ankles, through the establishment to the door. Before I can make it to the front door Paulie already has it open and I drag the man outside. Once we make it to the cold January weather outside I drop the guy on the sidewalk in the snow, salt and slush. He jumps up and hurriedly pulls his pants and underwear up and starts off down the block without a word to say.

I walk back in and head to one of the tables in the rear of the establishment. The girl is now sitting in the middle of a table with people on both sides of her. I lean over the table, "Hun, it's time to go."

She looks back at me with her doe eyes, "Why? Did I do something wrong?" Her friends all look confused and try to stick up for her.

I always try to be nice. I'll even try to hide your embarrassment from your friends but I'll only try once. If you deny I won't pull any punches and let it all out for everyone to hear.

"Listen, you were just blowing some guy in the bathroom. Very well from what I could see. But now it's time to go and come back on a different day." Her friends all looked at her and her face turned bright red.

The girl got up, got her things and left.

As I went back to the door Paulie was still there laughing. "Man, you really know how to embarrass the fuck out of people don't you?"

"Hey, the way I figure, word spreads fast about what happens at places like this. If you embarrass a few people then people know whats in store for them if they pull off the same shit. Kinda makes things easier when it's a big production instead of a small quiet one."

"Yea.. ok.. just don't pull that shit when the owners are here." Paulie still had a big smile on his face. "You should have seen that guys face when you dropped him in that snow an shit. Ha Ha Ha..."

The entire establishment had something to talk about the rest of the night. People were even asking me if I knew the girl's name.

Later that night she stopped by and apologized. I told her it wasn't a big deal and to stop by again on a different day. She said she would. As she started to leave she tried to give me a kiss good bye.

I politely refused saying that I knew where that mouth had been earlier.

Friday, January 11, 2008


"I hope you really enjoy the whole $7 an hour your making."

As my hand balls up into a fist I feel a hand pull back on my forearm. "Leave it Mike." Paulie steps out from behind me. He looks at the scruffy haired kid standing in front of us, "Why don't you take off."

"Fuck you guys, this sidewalk is community property." The kid is about 22 years old, 6' tall and all of 120lbs soaking wet. He has a trucker hat on with the bill of the hat bent straight up. His pants are tight, keys hung from a belt loop and the right pant leg is rolled up so it doesn't get caught in his bicycle chain. His shirt was at one time white and his arms are decorated with mismatched tattoos. There was dried blood around his nose. "I know my rights."

Five minutes before.

The kid was in the establishment. He decided that it would be ok to walk up behind a waitress and throw his arms around her. Not only that, he thought it would be funny if he grabbed her breasts and act like he was dry humping her. When Alice came up and told me I walked to the back and saw him laughing about it.

I grabbed him by the collar and threw him to the floor. He landed face first and knocked over a couple other people as he went down. I reached and grabbed him again, this time by his feet and I started dragging him out of the bar. He kept grabbing other people's legs as I was dragging him so I stopped. He spun around onto his back and I grabbed his arm and jerked him up. As he was coming up he was scared. I could see it in his eyes. His eyes were wide open and he kept looking around for help.

I went to grab his wrist and spin him around and he slipped out of my grasp. He tried to run out of the establishment but I tripped him and he fell to the ground again. This time he fell harder and busted his nose on the ground. Blood started coming out of his nose and trailing down his chin. Now he just laid there waiting for someone to help him. I grabbed him by the wrists and pulled him up. I stood him up and shoved him back and he started out the door.

Once outside the door he became tough. Slanders flew from his mouth like a river. Then they turned personal. Statements about people's mothers started coming out and that's when I started to get more angry. Usually these things don't upset me. I figure that the person doesn't know my mother so there's no reason to get upset but with the things this kid had already done it got to me. I could feel the adrenaline pulsing through me and that's when Paulie told me to let it go.

The kid wouldn't leave the front of the bar and he kept going on about "his rights". So I decided to let him get a first hand feel for what his rights really were. As a squad car drove past I flashed them with my flash light. The car stopped and pulled over. The kid thinking he was in the right stood there, "Yea, bring the cops over, I'll have your ass in jail!" He literally thought he was in the right.

The two cops came walking over. The first one walked up to me and the second one walked straight over to the kid.

"Hey Mike, what's going on?"

I explained what had happened and how the kid was dry humping the waitress and grabbing her breasts. I explained in detail what happened after that.

"Ok, the waitress want to file sexual assault charges?"

The kid overheard this. "What!? I didn't assault her! What the fuck!?"

The cop walked over to the kid and got into his face. "Excuse me? You grabbed a womans breasts without her consent. You think that's ok to do?"

The second cop turned the kid around and started patting him down. When the cuffs came out the kid started flaring up more. "What the fuck!? What about what he did to me? This is fuckin bullshit!!"

"He didn't do anything. You swung at him first. He was doing his job, protecting the staff and the business."

"I didn't swing at anyone!!"

"You have the right to remain silent...."

After the kid was read his rights and stuffed in the car, the cops talked to the waitress. She decided to press charges. Even if she doesn't show up for court the kid will have to spend all weekend in jail to wait for a court hearing.

Maybe he'll meet up with Big John while he's in there.

Hopefully Big John will think he's cute.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Here We Go...

Sorry about the lack of posting as of late. With the new year starting things have been a little hectic. New procedures have been put together at work and its been interesting to see how they've worked out.

A few years ago the city of Chicago almost passed a smoking ban. I was weary about them passing the ban because if they passed the ban then I figured we'd be next. Well, Chicago didn't pass the smoking ban but it wasn't necessarily because they didn't want to. It was because the whole state of Illinois decided to go non-smoking.

The state of Illinois has passed, what many have called, the most stringent smoking ban to date. Which goes along with Illinois being known as a Police State.

The major difference between Illinois' smoking ban and that of other states is that it's focused primarily on the employees health rather than the patrons. Which is fun to explain to the non-smoking patrons that come to the establishment and think the state loves them. It's not about you, it's about the waitress that doesn't smoke and you don't tip.

One thing about Illinois ban is the fresh air clause. According to rumor there isn't an air recycling unit that can work fast enough to keep up with the state's mandate. When I look over the Act online there are a lot of Sections missing to it so there's no way to tell.

There are also a lot of businesses that are already being hurt by the ban. There are smoke shops that are slowly closing down. If the business is a tobacco shop then you can't sell beverage or food. In fact, you have to give up those licenses completely. I've even seen a few restaurant's that have shut down their kitchens just so the regulars in the neighborhood can keep on smoking. They think they have a way around it. Wait until it's time to pay bills, they'll wish they had kept it open.

A big state ban is strange. People feel like their Rights are being taken away from them. In part, they are. It's the right to choose. The right to your own choice. If things were done a little differently then it wouldn't be so bad.

I don't want to get into all the little schematical issues over it.

This just makes work a lot more difficult. Now instead of just making sure everyone plays nice we have to make sure the kids aren't smoking inside the building. Anyone caught gets tossed for doing something that we've all done for years. So there should be some interesting reactions in the near future.

I've been telling myself that now is a good time to quit. The rebellious side of me just keeps winning the argument. When you keep the law for so long you let the rebellious side win at times. Maybe in a few months...

Be safe.

Thursday, January 03, 2008


The new year is here. New problems and a major event has happened lately. More on that to come.

Hope everyone's New Year's Eve went well. Ours was a little hectic but there weren't a lot of problems. I think the worst thing to happen was a person puking. Even then they puked in a garbage can so it wasn't that big of a deal for me but they still had to leave.

I don't clean up puke. I think it's in my contract somewhere. Seriously. I will and have given the mop and bucket to people so they can clean up their own mess. Then they get booted after they clean it up. Yea, yea, dick move. Whatever. I'm not cleaning it up and someone has to.

I'll be back soon with more posts. I just need to iron out a few details.

Be safe.