People change. If you've never noticed that within your life then you've never paid any attention to the people around you. Sometimes it takes a major catastrophe in their life to make it happen but people change with time.
A friend of mine saw me change many years ago. He worried and he spent many nights hanging out at my place because he thought I might do something very stupid. He knew it was against all my beliefs and I reiterated it to him many times. I've never nor will I ever be the type of person to take my own life. Why? Because part of me likes to live with pain and see just how much of it I can take until I let it go. There could be many different psychological reasonings behind that but I'm not getting into that here.
Another part of me just isn't an idiot.
After a certain time I moved on. I moved off to a new city and my friend stayed behind. I have to admit that I basically turned my back on a lot of people there.
A few months ago I got a phone call from my friend. He wanted to talk and at the moment I was surrounded by noise and people and couldn't get away to talk. I told him I'd call back as soon as I could. When I did call back it rang through to his voice mail. When I tried again it never rang and went straight to voice mail. Every time I've tried to call he doesn't answer and I leave another voice mail.
Months went by and still never a call back. Nothing. I admit I was worried at times but I never thought about the bad things that could be happening. I never thought about things the way he had thought of things when I went through my "time".
I found out through a different friend what had happened. The things that my friend was going through. Things that happen to a lot of people these days. Thankfully he never did the things that he thought I was capable of doing. He has the same resolve as I do when it comes to the idea of stupidity and suicide. He still roams the Earth.
I don't know if he reads this even though he does know about.
But I'm telling you now. Your not alone. I'm here if you need anything.
The distance might be far but it's never far enough to help those that are always with you.