Showing posts with label Line. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Line. Show all posts

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Rock Star Lines V...

"Is Chris in there?"

"Excuse me?"

"Chris. You know Chris. He in there?"

"I have no idea. The line is over there. Please wait in it."

"Oh no. You know Chris. He wears a plaid hat. Is he in there?" She was all of 100lbs soaking wet. "I'm here to save him from getting his ass kicked."

"Then no, he's not in here." I have no idea who Chris is.

"Listen, if your lying to me then that's just rude. All I want to do is go in and get him and pull him out of here."

"That's nice. All I want is for you to go wait in the line right over there." I point to the end of the line that is about half a block away.

"Really? Your going to make me wait in this line? I'm not attractive?"

"I'll answer yes, you decide which question I'm answering." At this point I figured the whole Chris story was bullshit anyways. Seeing as how it went from concern for her friend to whether or not she's attractive.

"So I can go in?"

"You didn't ask if you could. Go wait in line."

Often times people make up such random stories to see if they can skip lines. It's never really made much sense to me. Often times it's so easy to trip people up in their own stories. Names change in mid story or they just change it entirely because they see it's not working. Granted, if the story is entertaining enough it works sometimes. Especially if it brings me out of a state of boredom for a minute.

"Really? I have to wait?"

"Yep. Just like all these other people."

She sighed, rolled her eyes, turned and walked away. She walked towards the end of the line and kept going around the block.

Her friend Chris must have been really important to her.

Monday, October 01, 2007


Being a doorman at a popular establishment is strange. While your at work everyone wants to know you and they see you clearly. When your not at work your pretty much invisible to everyone. Which is actually pretty nice. Lots of people have two different types of memory functions. The sober memory that remembers to take the dog to the vet and the Drunk memory that remembers what the doorman's name is and what he looks like. So most people have their sober memory working during the day and I stay invisible to them if they actually see me.

Sometimes I'm even invisible to some people when I'm right in front of their faces.

"What do you mean Mike's not here?" The woman speaking to me wasn't all that ugly. Her body had a great form with all the curves in the right places. "He better be here, or he ain't gettin any tonight!"

This just made me think, Who the hell is this chic?? I figured she was just trying to make a spectacle so that I would feel uneasy and let her in. "Listen, do you even know who Mike is?"

"I should. He's my baby's daddy." Now it really became interesting.

"Well, could you describe him to me? I haven't met him yet but I hear he's a real big shot around here."

"I don't have to describe anyone to you. If you don't let me in now you won't have a job tomorrow."

At this point the other people in line are all looking and I can hear some of them mumbling about. This woman was just getting louder with everything she said. Then she started to walk up to the door.

"Listen honey..."

"Don't you even honey me.."

"Listen, if your not with this Mike person that supposedly works here I can't let you in. Your gonna have to wait."

"Oh.. that's it. You ain't gonna have a job tomorrow!"

Just then, as if on cue, Megan walked up with a couple of her friends. "Hey Mike, I just have a couple friends. Think we can squeeze in?"

"Of course hun."

I turned to the loud mouthed woman and smiled. She stood there looking at me with her mouth wide open. "Miss, you never asked me what my name is. I don't know you so either wait in line or leave."

"That's just bullshit! You let me go on like that in front of all these people!?" she said as she spun around and started walking away. The crowd of people started laughing and she started telling them all to shut the hell up as she walked away.

It's funny how people never notice you until they want something from you. There are some people that know how to work this game and there are those that don't. Name dropping rarely ever works. The one time that it does guaranteed is when your a friend of an employee and that employee actually says something to the door staff about you showing up. Most other ways don't work at all.

Still the best way to slip into a place that has a line is hard cash. Just don't be cheap about it. If you want to act like a big man then pull out the big dollars, especially if you have people with you.

I still go out in the neighborhood occasionally and I take notice of the people that I meet at other establishments. If I see you enough then I help you out. I don't even expect you to do it for me, I could care less. I'm not about to shell out money to get into a place but I'll get into that at a different time.

I find it weird but comfortable that people don't recognize me while I'm out. It's kind of nice knowing that people don't notice me when I'm not at work. I've sat and had drinks with people I've thrown out before and listened to how they thought that "bouncer" was an asshole. Then I go on about how the guy is just doing his job and they agree. Sooner or later it comes out that I'm that asshole and everything is fine. They come back to the establishment and they're more aware of how I do things.

Now I just need to figure out how to work this invisible feat for personal gain.

Saturday, September 22, 2007


Standing outside of the bar during the busy part of the night you get to hear a lot of excuses. They're usually all excuses as to why they should be let into the establishment before the other 40 to 50 people that are waiting in line to get in. Here's just a few of them.

"I'm really good friends with the bartender." - Really? Maybe you should know their name or call them to come let you in.

"The bar manager is expecting me so we can talk about pricing." - Really? You should probably do that during non-business hours. Oh, and what's the manager's name?

"I'm a really cute girl and I only have 3 guy friends with me." - If your cute enough, I'll let you in. Your 3 guy friends can go wait in line.

"Do you do anything for 'industry'?" - I do help out industry people. It does depend on where you work and if I've heard of it. If I haven't heard of it then there's not much I can do. If other employees talk about it I'll try to help you out.

A group of 5 guys. - Unless you got at least $60 or more to grease the wheels, I'm not doing anything for you.

A group of ladies. - I'll try to get you in. Everything moves faster with a little grease.

A group of attractive, scantily clad ladies. - You'll be in within minutes.

"I used to work here and just want to check it out." - Look through the window as you wait in line. If I've never worked with you, you've never worked here.

"You know me man, I'm here all the time." - Doesn't matter how often your here if your not a friend of the establishment. There are still people waiting.

One of the best lines I've heard so far is the most obvious one to date.

A little waif of a girl came walking up to me during the busiest part of the night. With her big doe eyes she looked up at me and leaned into me. "Hi, is Mike here?"

"I'm sorry hun. I haven't seen Mike all night. Can I help you?"

"Well... Mike told me that if it was busy to just come up to him and he would get me right in. So I just wanted to see him."

"Well, I haven't seen him all night. Sorry, but your gonna have to wait a little while."

"It's ok." Then she went to the end of the line and waited. After 20 minutes she made it to the front of the line and I asked her for her i.d. After I looked at her i.d. and gave it back to her, she asked "What's your name?"

"My name's Mike, hun."

She dropped her head and walked into the establishment.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Empty Promise....

"Hey man, I got four people with me and we'd like to come in."

"That's fine, you just have to wait in line and you'll be in as soon as you make it up here."

"Yea, that's cool. So we can be next in right?"

"I doubt it. There's about forty people in front of you."

"Yea, yea, what if I threw you some cash?"

"That's completely up to you."

The guy stood there in his vertical striped button up shirt, spiked hair, sandals and worn jeans. Then he looked back at his group of people, grinned a little and waved at them. The group started walking up and he pulled the door open. I put my hand on the door and pushed it closed.

"Did you not hear me? There's a line over there for you and your group to stand in."

"Yea, don't worry about it man. I'll take care of you."

"Really? Cause it's my job to worry about it. So go wait."

"Hey man, I'm gonna throw you a twenty don't worry about it. I just gotta hit the atm first."

"I tell ya what. Since you've proven what a great guy you are. You can add a zero onto the end of that twenty and then we'll have a deal. Just put the money in my hand first."

"What?! $200?? You gotta be kidding."

"Listen. You think your King Shit parading these people around so now you can either act like King Shit or you can walk away with your leg between your legs in front of your friends and all these other people. It's up to you."

He turns to his friends, "Man, fuck this place. Let's get out of here."

The best thing about douche bags like that. When they leave and complain about the doorman not letting them in; it makes the people waiting in line feel even better. Feel free to complain that I wouldn't let you and your overpriced dates in. That your frat buddies won't be coming back any time soon. That's almost like adding a bonus on to the bar and making people want to come back.

Then again... If he had $200 I would have let him in.

It's only common sense to me...

I mean if you want to act like a big shot then you better be able to be a big shot.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Busy, Busy...

Now that the heat is starting to turn up more and summer is in effect we've been getting busier. Thursdays have became the new Friday and Friday and Saturday are still just as busy as always. Plus, with all the little festivals going on in the neighborhood it gets people out of their house earlier and they want to stay out later. Which means even more people trying to get into the establishment.

What's this mean for me?

It means that I deal with more people that just don't seem to have a clue. It means more people waiting in line to get in and even more people arguing with me as to why they aren't coming in. The wait time is longer because less people are leaving. Even more people are trying to play the "I work at this place or that place" game and more regulars to deal with.

The entire neighborhood has changed a lot. There's more of the baby stroller yuppie types in the neighborhood now and a lot more suburban people coming through which means less stories about people trying to tip me to get in. Now it's usually "Stop by my job and I'll hook you up with free entries with your dinner," or "I'll hook you up with free tickets to a show." The sad part is that I already have these hook ups through these peoples bosses. So now your offers are null and void.

I wish I could revisit posts of people hooking me up like Mr Strong Handshake did back in the day. If I had more days like that I wouldn't be so stressed about everyone being clueless about how things work. I guess I've been in the industry too long to realize that not everyone thinks of these things as common sense practices.

The major festivals bring about bands and promoters and I'm always trying to hook them up. I don't ask for anything from them but if I have heard of them I will do what I can. If I don't know you then I hope that you show up with someone I know from the club you played at. Then I can make them look like rock stars. Occasionally I'll get tickets to a fairly big show in the area for helping them out.

When I get the tickets it's a toss up as to what I actually use them for. Sometimes I'll give them to some unknowing customers that were really cool or I'll give them to a co-worker, very rarely I'll sell them. If I do it's money in my pocket and everyones happy, especially me. I've even used them as trade before to get things that I really wanted for myself. Flat panel TVs and other items are pretty expensive these days.

So every hook up is used for a hook up. That's how it's done. A person doesn't go out of their way for you just because they think your nice if they don't know you. They do it so they can get something out of it for themselves. Yes, that even goes for that nice guy that held the door open for the girl. Everyone wants something.

I know.. I'm being cynical again. Or am I?

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Let's get dinner some time....

There are a few things that bother me. Most of them separate between work and life.

I'm not the guy that typically works in a bar or a nightclub in a security position. I don't take a liking to my job due to the power that comes with it. Power means nothing to me. Why? Because away from work I'm no one just like you. I take comfort in knowing that. I know that once I step away from which ever establishment I'm working at I'm just another person riding a bus, walking down the street or driving down the road. I'm no one special when away from work. While I'm at work I'm the one person everyone wants to know.

I get a lot of "We should hang out" or "Let's get dinner some time". I get it so often that when I hear it now I usually just brush it off as someone else trying to get nice with the bouncer. They think that false guarantees will get them in faster, free drinks or they'll be upgraded so they can skip the line. It doesn't work like that.

I'll tell you now, the fastest way to be remembered by a bouncer or doorman is cash. Good ole green paper money. Now I'm not talking about being cheap here either. Depending on the number of people that are with you will depend on how much you will need to be remembered. On a typical scale the best way to be remembered is about $20 a head. But... if the club has a cover charge for the night then the typical scale would be twice the amount of the cover per person.

Now depending on the club it's all different. Your best bet would be to actually show up early and talk with the door staff. Show up on a slow night and talk to the guy at the door. Chances are he's the same guy that's there on the weekends to but bring that up in conversation. If the guy acts like he doesn't want to hear a word your saying then he probably doesn't and your shit out of luck.

I hate to admit this part. I really do because at some clubs it works like a charm but it only works for the ladies. Ladies... show off what was given to you. Either it was given to you at creation or you've bought it but it does work at a lot of clubs.

Clubs want hot ladies there. It's a proven fact that if there are women there, men will show up and spend even more money. I've even let groups of women skip the line just so the guys see what is in store. Of course, I'm more the type that only wants to see it if I can have it. And I rarely see anything I want by the end of the night.

Sorry hun, your wasted, I'm sober.

So now that I've gone off on a tangent...

I really don't want to hear about how we should hang out or we should go out some time. I really don't. I hear it a lot and I've followed up on a few of them. It usually ends up with responses such as how busy they were at work and how tired they are and don't want to go out. That's fine. I hate to say it but I remember that crap when you show up to the club again. It's when I get to say how tired I am and I don't want to open the door for you so you'll have to wait in line.

Hey, turn around is fair play. It might seem petty but remember.. You offered something up to the table worth far more than I ever did. I offered the pass to get into a bar. You offered up "dinner" as you pressed your big ass chest against me and your hand came up missing.

This isn't a one ride bull. Put your money where your mouth is.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Keep on knocking but you can't come in...

One night a regular came walking up with three friends while I had a line in front of the bar. When I looked over at her she raised up four fingers to let me know there were four of them total. She walked up and I told her it'd be five or ten minutes but she'd get in faster than if she waited. Then her three friends walked up.

"Is this guy with you? Cause that's a problem."

"Oh yea, he's with me... I work with him and..."

"He's an asshole, he's not coming in."

The tall man that was with the girl walked up. "Is Stewart here? I'm friends with Stewart."

"He's not working tonight and it doesn't matter. Your a pain in my ass, your not coming in."

As the tall man reaches for the door handle, "Stewart said I could walk in any time I wanted."

Now Stewart is a fairly nice guy. He's one of the bartenders and the complete opposite of me. I've helped him out with this tall guy before and then later explained to him how much of an ass he is. To which Stewarts only reply was, "Hey man, if he's annoying you then fuck him, he can wait or he doesn't have to come in."

I grab the tall man by his wrist, "That's nice, as soon as Stewart is my boss and tells me what to do I'll listen. Until then, your still a pain in my ass that's growing and your not coming into this bar."

The tall man looks at the girl and with a roll of his eyes says, "I told you he's an asshole, I don't know why you wanted to come here."

"Well, maybe you should leave. I never have this kind of problem here."

The tall man stood there and glared at me. It was kind of funny. He was about two or three inches taller than me and much smaller weight wise. Then he spun around and grabbed his date and got in a cab.

The girl looked at me and started to apologize when I bluntly cut her off in mid sentence.

"Only two of you?" I asked with a grin.

She smiled back, "Yea, only two."

"Well then, come on in and enjoy yourselves."

Velvet Rope...

We've never had a velvet rope in front of the bar. We've joked about it several times but Phil used to live in an area where the velvet rope was always used at clubs and despises it. I just think it's a funny image to have it in front of the bar.

I don't really have any use of one, I know who comes and goes and who should get in before others. It seems to be a regular thing on here for me to bitch about.

If there's a long line outside most of the regulars don't mind waiting for a few minutes to get in. They know I'll get them in faster than if they were to wait in line. Some nights when we get really busy early I'll have two lines for the bar, one for the regulars and one for everyone else. Basically the same idea as a velet rope. It's rare that two lines happen but it does once in a while.

It's funny when this happens, people in line will notice how the second line is moving faster so they'll jump over to that line. They're thinking that they'll be getting in faster but it rarely works that way.

I jump from one line to the other letting people in. Obviously more from the regulars line until I can make that line disappear. Once in a while I'll run into some nobodies in the regulars line.

"Hey guys, your line's over there."

"Oh, we saw this line moving faster so we jumped over here."

"Thats nice, you need to go back to the end of that line."

"What? No way man, can't we just be next in that line? We've been waiting too."

"Nope. End of that line guys... or just go somewhere else."

"Man... bullshit...."

They usually either walk over to the other line or they decide to argue more and get refused entrance.

One of the biggest things that has made my job easier from the start was one simple rule.
Argue with me and you don't get into the bar.

The way I look at it, if your willing to argue with me than your willing to stiff the bar on drinks, grab the waitresses, or just be a big asshole inside the bar. All things we don't want but they do make for an interesting night sometimes.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Rock Star Lines III...

"This has never been a problem before."

"You've never walked up with eight people before."

"Oh come on, you can do it for me."

"Listen, ever since you've became friends with a certain person here you've constantly brought more an more people. Stop it. You walk up with one or two people ok, more than that and your waiting in line like everyone else."

"Well, you know he's waiting for me in there."

"I'm sure he is, but he's not waiting for all these other people. Believe me he'll agree with me. I can do you and one but the rest of your group will wait."

At times certain people need to be reminded that they really aren't that special. The rock star line is for friends and family of employees and the bar. It's not to show off to your friends about how great you are or how special you are.

The little blonde leaned in to my ear, whispering, "Come on, don't make me look bad to my friends."

I don't bother to whisper, "Hun, if these are your friends they won't mind waiting like everyone else because they just wanna hang out with you and don't care about the status quo."

At this she rolled her eyes, spun around, and told her group, "Come on, let's go across the street until this line dies down."

Five minutes later, Marvin comes out to the door.

"Hey man, you wouldn't let Mary in?"

"Actually, I would let Mary in. I just wouldn't let her take the seven people that were with her in and she found that to be an insult."

"Whoa, she had seven people with her?"

"Yea man, I told her I'd let her and one in but the others would have to wait but she didn't think that was very nice."

"That's messed up. Oh well, she just called me saying you were being all rude to her and that you wouldn't let her in. She didn't say anything about having all those people with her. Oh well, screw her, she's not that great. Ha, ha.."

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Strong handshakes...

Now this might be a bad idea to post here but I'm really getting tired of constantly posting about throwing people out and how people annoy me. Those two subjects are pretty normal for anyone that has ever worked in the serving industry or in bars or clubs.

The bar I work in becomes fairly popular on the weekend nights. (Friday and Saturday) It's open fairly late and draws a good crowd. So much so that there is usually a line to get in. Sometimes there are anywhere between 5 to 40 people outside waiting to get in. Usually on a busy night it's at least a 20 minute wait but there have been people waiting as long as 35 to 40 minutes to get in. I've never really put together why anyone would wait that long to get into a simple bar. There's no live music, no cheap drinks, no naked ladies, and nothing special about the place. Maybe I just think that because I'd never wait to get into a bar or because I work there.

On nights like these people are always trying to just walk right up and get in. If they're stupid they try to walk past me and the line and open the door. I give these people the benefit of the doubt and point them to the end of the line. Either they go there or they then proceed to tell me one of many different stories.

*Oh, my friends are inside and they told me I could come right in. (They don't work here, I do. Go wait in line.)
*I'm really good friends with the owner. (Oh, what's his name?) Uhm, I think it's Jim. (Cool, I think you should wait in line.)
*My roommate's in there and he/she has my keys. (Call your roommate and tell them to bring your keys out to you.)
*I just really need to use the bathroom. (Sorry, I'm at capacity. You'll have to go somewhere else to do that.)

Now as for the capacity issue. On busy nights I never get to capacity. I always leave a big window for people due to VIP's and employees walking up and wanting in. I have made VIPs and employees wait before. They will gladly just because they know they'll still get in faster than the people waiting in line. I have my list and I always keep that list handy so I know when to start the lines. On most of these nights the list has at least 20 names on it plus their guest.

Some nights there's an offer that even I can't refuse.

A guy came walking up to me one night and asked if there was some way he could possibly get in. I told him there was a line outside and then pointed out where the end of it was. He said he realized that and was wondering if there was any other way that he and his good buddy Andrew could come in. He then extended his hand out as if to shake hands.

I looked down to his hand and then asked how many people he had. He said it would be him his girl and a friend. I laughed and told him that Andrew better have some brothers if he wanted to skip the line.

Pause: Just to clear the air about Andrew. It's come to my attention that some of my readers are from outside of the U.S. Andrew is in reference to Andrew Jackson, the President that is on the 20 dollar bill. Thought I would shed some light on that just in case it wasn't known. I'm not very worldly and have no idea what other countries money looks like so I guess I figure you might not as well.

After a minute or two pause the guy asked me if I had change for a hundred dollar bill. I plainly stated that I don't make change. The guy decided to shake my hand and I gave Ben a new home. I then checked their IDs and let them enter.

This isn't a normal thing really. There are some people that come up occasionally that know the game and it works perfectly. There are others who think five dollars should get them and three of their friends in out of the cold. Obviously, if that's the best you can do to get in then you won't be spending the type of money you should inside the bar.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Interdependent Apprehensions...

Working the front door of a popular bar or club always gives you a bit of local popularity or notoriety. Hopefully more for the first over the second.

The way I look at it the less 'friends' I have the better. Most of the people I meet while working I'll never see other than at work. They'll only really talk and be cool to a doorman, away from his work, if they are regulars or they really want to know you. Out of all the people I've met the regulars are the best.

Then there are the friends of friends. These people are usually pretty cool as well. They're friends of the staff and come in almost as frequently as the regulars. Once they've been in a few times with staff on the staff's days off they get the same perks. Just not as quickly. After all, there is a type of hierarchy going on here.

Then there's Industry. If you work in the industry there are obvious perks when you go to other bars and such. Although, it does matter if the staff goes to your place of work. If I've never heard of it, don't know anyone that works there, or just don't go there then you should get to know somebody. Basically, if you don't scratch our back we don't scratch yours.

This also works the other way around too. If I ever show up at your place I expect the same thing back. If I didn't let you in once then I don't expect you to let me in if I'm in the same state. So all in all someone has to give that break first. If it sounds like a great place to catch a drink or dinner then I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and let you in, as long as you don't have a lot of people with you.

I'll probably ask you what days you work and show up on one your not working. If the foods good or the service is good then I'll show up some time you are working. That's when the game begins. I scratched your back. Now, will you scratch mine?

If your thinking, "This kinda sounds cold," then you've never worked in the serving industry. Servers make very little money hourly. Basically, you survive on your tips and the government gets a cut out of that too. So you get your breaks where ever you can. If you get a good deal from someone you give one back. Scratching backs the whole way through.

Then there's the ladies. There's a popular myth about doormen. I've heard it from many people asking me if it's true. The myth is just that, a myth. Everyone seems to think that because your a doorman you get the pick of the ladies. Definitely not true.

Many times at the door I've been propositioned by females just so they can get into the bar. Granted, as much fun as it sounds it's not really something I'm looking for. I'm not saying that I'll turn down any female that comes around. I'm just saying, why would you offer something like that up just to get into a bar? Offering yourself up like that is a turn off to me.

I can see where the myth comes from. Many times the lady regulars will come up and give me a hug and maybe a peck. Then I let them in the bar before the line. So obviously we must be doing a lot more than just saying hello.

The funny part in that situation is when the other women in line see it. They do one of three things.

Some will walk over, give me a hug and a peck, then reach for the door. Then the line gets a nice little laugh when I thank them for the hug and ask them to wait in line.

Then there are the jokers and talkers. The jokers will laugh about it and joke about it with me without expecting anything, which is fun and sometimes helps them out. The talkers will start heckling me for letting the "whores" in. Depending on the regular, this usually gets them a warning. I basically tell them if they open their mouth again they won't be coming in the bar.

Lastly, there are the women who don't say or do anything. They're just there for some reason and don't really seem to care if they get in or not.

I can say that I fell into the trap before. I tried playing the little game of letting a couple women in a few times just on hopes that something might happen. I played that game and I don't anymore.

Many of my friends and acquaintances have said it before. I'm pretty straight forward about everything. Everything is pretty much the key word there. I've never played the little games that most people play when it comes to "hooking up" or finding a girlfriend. To me, games are a waste of time in that department.

So I have found that it's better not to have a lot of friends. It makes my job easier and I have a lot less things to distract me. Not to say that I don't have opportunities, I just don't go out of my way to find them.

Monday, September 26, 2005

I think you just want to fight...

Probably the number one most stupid thing I hear at the door is, "I think you just want to fight, huh?"

Of course. I mean why else would I work the front door of bars? It wouldn't be because I can use the extra cash or that I get paid well to keep people in check. I just love to fight. Nothing more or less, I just want to beat the hell out of people. I get no satisfaction out of life in anything else I do other than hurt people. (Sarcasm can be a hard thing to read at times, I'm told. Good thing most people would recognize this as that.)

The last thing I want is to get into a fight. When that happens it usually means that someone gets bloody, the cops are called, and if it's a big enough deal the bar gets closed for the night. Just think how long I'd have a job if that happened once or twice a month.

It always seems to be the loud mouth, button up shirt, little goatee, prep or frat boys that ask that question all the time. They like to open their mouth in front of their boys or their girls and try to win the louder voice competition. Here's a clue, my voice can hit 128 decibels without trying. I know this because it's been measured by a sound level meter. (Sometimes you get bored after work.)

So after the loud mouth competition is over, they usually ask the question. "I think you just want to fight, huh?"

Usually at this point I just shake my head and walk inside. It's not because I'm scared of you. It's because I'm tired of hearing your whiny little voice trying to boost your ego and look good in front of the people your with. This is when 5 out of 6 of the loud mouths leave.

Then there's that one guy. This ones usually a little stockier and yet more stupid. He thinks you went inside to clear room for him. He thinks he scared me enough that I just shut up and walked inside. He's usually the one that gets embarrassed the most. I could handle him a couple different ways but my favorite is plain and simple.

"Hey man, your not coming in so don't wait in line. In fact, nobody is coming in until you leave."

After about 5 minutes and the rest of the line asking him to leave, he leaves. Oh, and I don't really care if you take your money somewhere else. There's a line of thirty people out here waiting to get in. Their money is just as good as yours.

Actually, their money is better because they're not being a pain in the ass.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

I reserve the right....

There are times when I get distracted. I'll admit it. Whether it's a friendly female face talking to me or something's going on inside the bar I get distracted. Enough to the point that the next people in line might have to wait an extra five minutes.

This doesn't mean that when I open the door to check your IDs and let you in that you can elbow people who are walking by you. Especially when that person is my manager.

When it's Phil's night to work he's usually on the floor, behind the bar, or just relaxing. He usually walks outside once in a while to see how the line is and occasionally grabs a couple people and brings them in with him. This time as he was walking in Mr Dress Up decided that whoever was walking up behind him deserved a nice elbow in the gut.

In one solid movement Phil just looked at him, then me and said, "No."

Dress Up went to hand me his ID and I said I didn't need it. So he started to step towards the door.

"I don't need it because your not coming in."


"I said, I don't need your ID because your not coming in."

"Why the fuck not? You gonna tell me I've been standing here for twenty minutes and now I can't come in?"

"Pretty much. I'll take whoever's next in line."

The next guy hands me his ID and tells me it's just him and his two brothers. One of which is the guy that's not coming in.

"I'll let you in but he's not coming in."

Dress Up- "Man, this is bullshit, tell me why not."

"You've been opening the door and creeping people out and your elbowing people. Sad part is you haven't even been inside yet and your not going to be inside. Have a good night."

"I haven't elbowed anyone. Tell me the reason."

"I just saw you elbow the guy that just walked in. So did my manager and he told me no. I don't need a reason when my manager tells me no."

"Bullshit, tell me the real reason."

"I just gave it to you. Plus, I reserve the right to refuse service to anyone at anytime and you are that anyone and this is your time."

"This is bullshit, whats your name man?"


"Whats your last name?"


"How bout you give me your real name so I can report you?"

Phil, still standing in the doorway near me, says, "Hey buddy, you wanna report him? I'm the manager, you can report him. But he's doing his job so how bout you leave."

"Man, fuck you guys. I'm fuckin outta here, your gonna get a terrible reference from me."

Shit. Another bad reference. We might actually have to close our doors on that one.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Drunk Walk

I never have been a real big drinker. So I guess that might be one reason why I never understand why people want to get into another bar when they're really drunk. Maybe it's just something else to do that night, maybe you just don't want to go home, or maybe you got thrown out of another bar and your trying to get into another. Once your at the point that you have to lean on the wall to stay up, your speech is slurred, and you can't find your ID that is right there maybe you should just go home.

When I'm working at the bar I'm the only real door person there. Granted the bartenders and the local guys are willing to help out at any time but I look at it as a failure on my part if you get in and your that shit faced. There's no reason for any one to have to jump over the bar if I do my part. For this reason I don't drink on the job and I take my job pretty serious. I want everyone in the bar to have a good time and not be bothered with drunken idiots. Even though many inside get that way, I don't want to let in someone like that already.

Many of the regulars want to buy me drinks and shots and occasionally I'll take a shot. This is allowed but I just don't over do it. I like to be in control of myself while I'm supposed to be in control of the house. Control it first so you don't have to forcefully regain control.

So when a possible patron stumbles up to the door and I ask for his ID I'm constantly watching to see just how drunk he is. When he can't find the ID that's on top of the many credit cards in his wallet and he drops his wallet two times it's definitely clear he doesn't need to come in.

Of course to him it's a challenge. It seems that he was just to drunk to understand that I had told him no and to enjoy his night somewhere else. He reached for the door and tried to open it but as I was in the way the door wouldn't open. I suggested to him that he go somewhere and sit and possibly eat something and try back again in a few hours after he had sobered up.

He stood there and stared at me like I was talking in complete gibberish. He tried for the door once more and I simply put my hand into his middle back and slightly pushed him away from it. "Have a good night sir. Come back again tomorrow." To this I got the finger and he walked off.

Now when he showed up at the door the night was early. Probably around 11 or 11:30. The bar wasn't busy but I still won't let you in especially if your that drunk.

Later in the night we got busier and the line formed outside. At this point there were close to 40 people waiting in line and I was right inside the bar past the second door which is about seven or eight feet past the first door. Occasionally I look out to see how it looks and to see how many people are trying to crowd the door so they're the first ones in. When this happens I just have to walk out and clear the area and make it clear that if it doesn't happen they don't get in. This works fairly well until new people walk up.

When I'm standing there I can always tell when someone tries to open the door and sneak in. Either I feel the gust of wind or the noise from outside gets louder or the people in the front of the line are loud enough to notice their bitching. This time it was a mix of the outside noise and someone hitting a wall.

I turned to see what was going on and there was my buddy the shit faced drunk from earlier. Still drunk and still searching for his ID as he walked up. I put my hand on his shoulder, "Man, I told you earlier, you can't come in. Have a good night."
"Dont push me, you wanna push me? You wone like it if you push me..."
"I'm sure I won't. Have a good night. You've had way too much fun to come in here tonight."

Then he hit away my arm and stood there looking at me with a blank drunk stare. It was like he was concentrating just to make an angry face. I then put my hand back on his shoulder and he tried to knock it away again. I then hooked my arm around his and held it tight as I lifted his arm up. I then turned him and started walking to the door. As we got to the door he threw up his other arm and braced himself in the door way. "Ha, thought you had me huh? You fuggin ass, I told you not to pussh me, your not gonna liked it when Imma done wit you." His head bobbed around like one of those bobbleheads you see in car windows.

Now when you say something like that to me I see it as a threat. It doesn't matter to me if your drunk or sober, it's still a threat to me. I never know if you might have a gun or knife or whatever. I may not be all excited about being here but someone is so I take it personally.

I reached over with my free hand and grabbed his other hand that was bracing him in the doorway, I yanked it away from the door and shifted my weight. The thud of him hitting the door grabbed a few peoples attention outside. After the door flew open and I was able to step outside with him I gave him a little shove. He regained what ever amount of composure he had and started to walk back towards my door. "Man, don't. Your not coming in tonight. Go home and sleep it off." He stood there and talked and I ignored him. After a couple minutes he walked off as I checked IDs and let others in.

People in line asked why I didn't just level the guy and get it over with. I'm not here to hurt people. I'm here to solve problems, keep control and to keep everyone happy. Granted, if I really needed to hurt someone I'm pretty positive I could. I just don't see the reason for it unless its needed.

As the night gets busier the manager on duty is usually on the floor helping to keep an eye on everyone. If its not busy he's usually in the basement doing whatever he does.

It's now about forty five minutes before last call and the bar has quieted down. There aren't as many people in as there usually is and the line has completely gone away. People are milling around trying to find their little fun for after hours or trying to find someone to take home. There's a group of three guys and a girl at the bar near me and near them is another group of people. Everything looks calm so I step out to see what the sidewalks are looking like.

As I step into the second door a guy from the first group head butts another man on the back of his head and then puts him in a full nelson and starts walking towards me. He goes past me and walks the man to the door. They start trading words when I walk up and put myself inbetween them in the doorway. I ask what's going on. "Guy here decided to put his tongue down my girls throat." I looked over at the guy on the sidewalk and he didn't say anything but just stood there with a big smile.

Then he walked back up to the door. The guy from the group then asked if the man wanted more. "You want some of this man? I'll gladly come out there and give it to you."

I turned and looked at him, "Ok, either you go back inside or you and your group leave now."
"Ok, man. It's cool, I'll go back in." Another guy from the group came walking up then and started shouting at the man outside. I turned to him and explained that if he wanted he could join the man. He turned back and headed back in. I stood at the door and watched as the man took off on his crotch rocket. The girl from the group walked up and apologized and told me what had happened.

"The guy walked up and tapped me on the shoulder and started telling me I had too much to drink. He had a black shirt on and you have one on so I thought he worked here. Next thing I knew he was holding on to my arms and leaned in towards my face and his tongue was going through my lips. That's when my boyfriend saw everything and told him to leave me alone. The guy acted like he didn't hear him and just stood there looking at me and holding on to me. Then he started going off on my boyfriend."

With the group fairly sober and last call coming in about half an hour I figured they'd be better off just staying. Besides, in my eyes they were in the right and didn't cause a huge scene. It was something I was willing to pass.

Then after talking to her to and taking another look outside I walked back in. Right as I stepped in past the second door the second guy from the group was pointing his finger in another mans face. "You wanna take this outside!?"

I got over in between the two. "What the hells going on now?"

"This guys talking shit. He's buddies with that other guy."

"Alright, that's it. All of you are out of here."

"But we're not starting any shit. This guy came over and started calling us pussies."

"At this point I don't care. All of you are out of here and you can sort this shit outside where it's not my problem."

Then the guy jumped over and hit the man. I threw up my arm and pushed him back. "What the fucks your problem!? Get the fuck out of here." At the same time the girl is trying to tell me that this guy was talking shit to her and her group. I grab the man as he starts to go for the guy. "Lets go man, your out." "What about them?" "They're gonna be right behind you." "Don't let them out until I'm gone."

I take him out and walk back in. The girl comes up and starts to thank me for taking him out. "Don't thank me yet, your next."
"But we didn't do anything."
"I should have thrown you out after the first incident but I gave you the benefit of doubt. This time your all gone and your not my problem anymore."

I look outside and the man is still there. "Hey man, you better get out of here. These guys are coming out now." The man jumped in a cab and took off.

I walked back in and saw one of the bartenders taking an order from one of the group. I flashed my light towards him and gave him the cut off sign. The bartender looked at me and stepped back shaking his head and went on to the next person.

I walked back over to the group and pointed at them. "You, you, you, you, and you. Time to go. The guys gone so now its your turn."

They set their drinks down and headed out the door without any problems.

Ten minutes later the manager on duty walked up. "Hi. You ok?"


"I heard there was a couple fights. Wanna do a shot?"