Friday, November 25, 2005

Try being nice....

"You know, all you gotta do is just be nice to people and they'll listen to everything you say."

"That's great, thanks for the advice. Bye."

"See, there you go again, you know if you were to say something like, "Have a good night, be safe on your way home' people would leave much faster than you all comin up on us and taking away our drinks."

"I'm sure they would. That's why you and your four friends are still in here and everyone else left ten minutes ago. You didn't hear the announcement over the PA? Cause I'm pretty sure everyone else did and look... They're gone... So now, you need to get out."

"Oh, you think your so big. I bet you think your pretty special huh?"

"Not really. I just have a liquor license to keep here. Which means you have to get out."

"Uh huh, I'm sure."

"Get out."

"Well, it doesn't matter, I'm waiting for someone."

"Get out. They'll be right behind you."

"Who's your manager? I wanna have a talk with him about you."

"Get the fuck out. The bar closed fifteen minutes ago, the lights are on, the music's off and you've been asked to leave twenty times, now just leave."

"No, I wanna talk to your manager. This is fuckin bullshit. "

"You still being here is bullshit. Call and talk to the owner in the morning, and make sure you get my name too ok? It's Mike, not Mikhail, Mica, Miguel, just Mike. Don't worry I'm the only Mike here. The owner will know who I am and make sure you tell him you were in here past closing and being a bitch too."

"Fuck this, I don need this kind of disrespect. I'm leaving."

"Thanks! Bout time!"

"Oh, don you worry, I'm gonna call tomorrow."

"You do that."

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Ranting without the Rave....

It's been a short break since I've posted last. Sometimes I get on a bit of a rollercoaster ride and some things get left behind.

So lately I've basically been trying to get my sleep patterns back into shape. Most of my posts are done after work. I have some saved up just waiting to be posted but I'm going to try and read through them again.

I've had a question raised to me that I've been thinking about a lot lately. "Why do you keep doing this if you know you could be doing so much better?"

The only answer I keep thinking of is that this is a job I like. I've always been that guy who does more for others. To make you happy is to make me happy. Of course, there are lines there that I won't cross. Too much thought to go through all of that right now.

So I decided to put my resume out there. I've heard from many people how hard it is to find a job these days. My usual response to that is that they're not looking. I've always said that if you want a job you'll have one within a week or two.

I love it when I'm right. I have no college degree and I'm definitely not a 'trust fund baby' or even come from a family that has enough money to relax. I put my resume out on the normal job boards on the internet. ( Monster, Careerbuilder, etc.) I've already received two job offers within a week.

Granted, the jobs pay much better and have benefits but they're at least an hours drive away. So I think I might put in for a little vacation and give one a shot. The benefits alone would get me to make the change. Now I just need to make the leap.

It will definitely be different working a real job again. Actually having to be somewhere on time and reporting to someone every night. Sounds weird, most people would run from that and not come back. Well, I thought that too. Circumstances change when the shoe's on the other foot.

Drama's one of the biggest things that I won't miss. The Bullshit -n- Bologna meter has hit a high at work lately. We've been guaranteed that it won't last much longer. This means someone's going to clean house. Cleaning house means a whole new set of rules and people are about to land. New people and rules means everything gets to start all over again.

I guess that's good. It gets rid of the drama and the monotony of work. Even TD was getting tired of work but now there's supposed to be a whole new ball game. There are a few people I wouldn't mind seeing gone.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Bouncing Women...

No, sad enough, I'm not talking about the Juggies on The Man Show.

Tossing ladies from the bar is always a tricky thing to do. Hmm, wait a minute. I think I put that wrong. I've never tossed a lady. Hmm, what word could I use to describe a female that punches, kicks, and tries to claw off your face? I don't dare use the "C" word.

Let's see, how many different words are there to describe a nasty female like this. A female that's willing to kick me in the groin because I'm trying to get her to leave for picking a fight with the bartender for cutting her off. Bitch, whore, bag, puta, ball breaker, crackwhore, butch... not really a big selection.

Anyways. It's always a big thing to toss out a female. Especially since I'm a male. Certain things could be blown up into dastardly deeds. A woman could try and claim that a hand was put in the wrong spot or I'm sure that sexual harassment could be brought to the table as well.

This is why I like to have certain female friends frequent the bar. They don't take any crap from men or women and they know their shit. They could easily take me down quicker than I could even think of how I'd take them down. They have a huge advantage over me. They're women. However, this completely changes when a woman punches me and then tries to go for my face.

At this point you went from a woman to just another person, really fast. With every rule people have in their life there is always a loop hole. One of my biggest rules is that I don't hit women. Then comes the loop hole. If your female and you punch me and try to scratch my face off, your no longer a woman. I won't swing at you unless it's absolutely necessary but once you push me past that limit I will. You come at me with a weapon and I will stop you just like any man.

This night the female was cut off at the bar. When you get cut off your stuck drinking water until either your attitude gets better, you sober up, or you leave. Any really good alcoholic will protest this since they can't live without the booze. So she protested and she protested to the wrong bartender. Kathy is one of the best bartenders at the bar. She's been there almost the longest out of everyone and she will give you a piece of her mind if she thinks you deserve it. So when the female started mouthing off Kathy wasn't afraid to mouth off right back at her. They had their little argument and then Kathy waved for me to take the female out.

"Miss, it's time to go."

"Aww, fuck you, I'm not goin anywhere. I ordered a drink and I want it."

"Your not getting that drink, your leaving. Grab your shit and let's go."

"Fuck you. I'm staying right here."

Not wanting to just grab the female by the arm and throw her out like I do most of the guys I just reached down and grabbed her backpack that was on the floor. When she saw me doing this she shoved me and landed a couple punches in my stomach. Instant reaction for me was to draw my arm back with a fist. Which I shook out the fist and grabbed her backpack.

"Fuck you buddy. Put my shit down, I'm staying."

Kathy then walked back up and the female started yelling at her again. The whole time Phil was there watching what was going on. He walked over and grabbed the chair that the female's male companion was sitting on. She was sitting on the males lap. As he pulled on the chair the male stood up and the female started to fall down.

I quickly hooked my arm around the female's waist and carried her out of the bar. The whole time getting smacked and hit on the back and on the head. Once outside the female kept trying to shove me and she even took a couple swings at me. That's when the police drove by.

They quickly pulled over when they saw her swinging at me and came over. I put my arms together in front of me as if they were handcuffed and then pointed at the female. They walked over just as she took another swing and slapped a cuff on one arm.

Now this female was brilliant. She quickly turned into a sweet innocent little lady and just didn't understand why they were cuffing her. The whole time trying to get away from the cop.

The best part was when the female police officer showed up and finished cuffing and stuffing her. As the woman stood there with cuffs on and the officer opening the back door, she decided to turn and try to spit at me. In her drunken state and high heel boots, she lost her balance and fell straight onto her face. It gave the crowd a nice little show and judging by the laughter everyone enjoyed it.

Friday, November 11, 2005

The ever entering woman...

"What's your name man?"


"Well Mike, I realize it's your job to keep the underage out of the bars. Your doing a great job but Ally needs her ID because she drives constantly for work."

"I guess Ally should have thought about that before giving it to that girl then huh?"

"Listen, she just needs it back, she was trying to help out her sister and..."

"I have two options for you at this point. Option one, I get a squad car to come over here, explain to them what's going on and let them decide, because it's only a federal offense or, option two. You guys just leave."

"Man, come on. I'm a bouncer too, can't you just do one exception?"

"Your telling me your a bouncer at a club and you still bring an underage to the bar? Are you stupid? Where you work?"

"Nevermind man, that's not important."

"Of course not. Get outta here. Now I'm going to walk outside and you guys are going to leave. If not I'll gladly grab the first squad I see."

Throughout the night I probably turn away five to ten people on a slow night. It could be for just about any reason but it's usually because of fake IDs or they're already too drunk to come in. Each ID taken is a story all it's own.

A few nights ago I had a couple come in and I checked their IDs and all was well. Then about 15 minutes later I went outside the door with Frank to have a smoke and bullshit a little while it was slow. A girl came up and gave me her ID and I took a couple looks at it thinking it looked familiar.

Since it's early many people will walk in and see that it's not that busy and leave. If I don't see you leave then I card you again when you come back or if you've been gone for awhile. That's why I took a second look at the ID. I didn't remember this girl leaving.

So I asked Phil to watch the door as I went over to where the girl had walked to. As I walked over I noticed that all of a sudden there were two of them there. So first thought in my mind was that they were twins. The girls did look a lot alike but I only remembered the IDs by the name on them.

"Hello ladies. I need to see both your IDs again."

The first girl pulled out her ID and gave it to me. I looked at it and her and waited for the other girl to get hers. She was very hesitant. The first girl reached for her ID and I raised my index finger for her to wait. The second girl handed me her ID and I compared the IDs. Exact matches.

"Ladies. I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you have to leave now and your not getting these back. The good news is you get to go home early."

Without a single word they turned and walked out the door. I had expected to at least hear some kind of an argument.

I explained what was going on to Phil and left it at that.

People don't realize what kind of trouble they can get into letting others 'borrow' their IDs. Just for letting your younger brother or sister use your ID you could be looking at a year in jail and a
fine close to a few grand.

Doesn't really seem like much until you get busted for it.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Ich Dien...

Sometimes when news travels you hear things you don't really care to hear.

It could be good and it could be bad. It could be something you want to hear. Usually, when the grapevine spits out something you never know what to believe. My father said it best.

"Believe nothing you hear and half of what you see."

Yet, when it comes down to someone you really respect and consider one of your best friends it's different. No matter how that person looks at you now or you percieve them, it's a respect thing. So when disturbing news is brought out it's something you should talk to them about.

Let them know what's going on and let them decide for themselves. If it's something for them to worry about then they will. If they don't heed the warning and decide your full of shit and just toss it to the side then that's their decision. Nothing you can do about it.

It can be a painful thing to do when you come out and talk to them. Yet, that's what life becomes, a series of painful events. Painful in many different ways from physical to mental but that only takes up a small part of the whole experience. There is a lot more to it.

So after you talk to that person, you can only hope that they take it in stride and maybe think about it in some way.

Everyone has something to lose when your life changes in any way. Sometimes it's worth it, sometimes it's not. When it comes to monetary issues it can always be replaced.

I've learned that even though everything becomes lost you always find a part of yourself that you never knew was there. Sometimes that's gaining more than you could ever lose.

I hope the news that I heard was wrong. That person knows now and hopefully that person is doing whatever they decide. Believe me or not but think it over from both views.

Some people will flash big things in order to hide small things. Some big habits are easily hidden between toes. Needles are everyones enemy whether your near them or not.

People come and go. It's life. It's obvious.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

'ello der ladies...

No matter where you work there's always that one guy. Any guy reading this can say that he's known one or two like this. I never really got it. Through some psychological babble I'd probably be told that it'd have to do with some kind of abandonment issues. Which wouldn't make sense since I've never been abandoned. (Well, except that one time... When I fell into that well and had to fight my way out with tweezers at the age of three.... Ok, I totally made that up...)

Anyway, there's always that one guy who does whatever he can for the ladies. He does this expecting, and usually getting, something back in return. Of course, not just any certain lady, one who's body, catches his eye. Now, I won't say that I haven't done it. I've tried to impress a few ladies in my time. Mostly a waste of time for me but Casper has it down to an almost science.

This guy can spot his nightly conquest from a block away. Then all he needs is to see if she's coming his way. He'll comp her a few drinks, maybe entry, and then have someone cover his post as he does his thing. Being higher on the seniority gives him the slight advantages of that.

"Man, thanks for watching this for me. I got her number and we're hookin up when I get out of here."

"No problem man. She's a pretty hot chic, what's her name?"


"What was her name?"

"Uh, hold on," he pulls the paper out of his pocket that has her number on it. "Yea, it's Sara."

The many stories always seem to start out this way too.
"That chic I met here the other night. Let me tell you..."
"She's that one that was here, I got her a few drinks. Then later we..."
"You know that chic I got in last week, I went and had a few drinks with her after we left here. Man, that girl can..."

A few of us have even thought about starting some kind of a betting system on him. We just have to figure out the odds.

Now, besides all this, Casper is a pretty decent guy. He shows up on time occasionally, he sets up his station once in a while, and if everything goes right he's never the last to leave. All qualities that every one wishes they could get away with.

His stories never cease to amaze. Sometimes his stories make you wonder though. I mean, can women really bend that way? I hate to sound like a novice here but I'll gladly admit I am. Some of the things that he describes just sound like it should be coming from the Exorcist movie or something crazy like that.

I guess I'm in a little awe of Casper once in a while and yet just the opposite at times too.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Brain drain...

This past Halloween weekend has been quite the week killer. Ever since Tuesday the neighborhood has been pretty quiet. Actually, everything's been pretty quiet since the temperature dropped. The Indian Summer is coming though and that should pick everything up for one last hurrah before winter hits.

So I really don't have much to go on about tonight, or today, however you look at it.

I try not to get too personal with this blog for certain reasons. Legally there are way too many things that could possibly go wrong. Let's say I call Ralph an asshole. Well, Ralph could then sue me for slander. Let's say I say something about a coworker and they end up getting fired. That just wouldn't be right in many ways. If I said something about one of the bands, etc, etc, etc...

So basically, the names have been changed and the bar names or anything aren't real, the situations are.

I do work a couple doors in the Midwest. At one place I'm an under paid babysitter and the other I can be a real asshole at times. I take care of those that take care of me and others that I just don't want to see anything happen to them.

I've been told at times that I'm the man but in a good way. What ever that really means, I'm just being who I am. If it's because I make sure you get into a cab when your so drunk you can barely walk or I just drive you home then I guess it's a good thing. I just think I'm one of the rare lion-hearted breed. At times, I wish I wasn't but that's how I am.

My personal situation is all my own. It's something that is deep rooted and it probably won't be talked about much here. My real life is actually pretty boring. After being at work around drunk people four to six nights a week I usually just stay home or stop over at a friends house. I have a different place that I talk about all that great stuff.

Anyways, I'm starting to get tired enough now that I actually think I'm going to crash. I'll have more posts coming up very soon. Within the next couple days I'm thinking.

Til then, be safe.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Later Sparky...

So it was just under three weeks. The scrawny, little, spiked hair, Sparky has left the building. No one really knows why but there's a good guess that the kid got scared.

After a few big shows and having to listen to customers and bands the kid never came back. I guess it was too much for him to make heavy decisions and stand up to people.

I have to admit, when I first started working on a doorstaff it was pretty hard. A lot of people just don't have the backbone for it. You have to be able to make a decision right there and then and stick by it no matter what that person says to you. If necessary you need to be able to back that decision up as well.

I had a feeling when he walked in the door that first day he wouldn't make it a month. The way he stared at the table and floor when he was talking was a big give away. The kid just didn't have the self confidence needed to do the job.

I worked with the kid so little that I actually just noticed that he was gone. From what I was told he had a pretty rough night with some people walking past him and giving him some static and just never came back. He didn't call in and he still hasn't came back for his last check. I doubt he will come back for it. More than likely they'll mail it out to him.

From what I know, under three weeks is a new record for fastest time for either quitting or being fired. Which means ole Sparky will be remembered for something.