Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 30, 2007


I think I figured out what I'm going to be for Halloween. It's always a competition at work to see who can out do each other with their costumes. I think I've came up with the perfect costume to top all of them.

I'm gonna have to go out and find a t shirt with a really lame picture and phrase on it. Maybe something having to do with the old cartoon My Little Ponies. Then the tightest pair of pants I can fit into. Some of those queer little boots that barely go over my ankles. A wig that has the tips frosted and is spiky. Then I'll need to ask a friend to apply some mascara for me, maybe a little blush too. Then to top it all off a big white belt.

Then when people walk up and ask what I am I can say I'm a Douche bag Hipster. They become appalled and I get a laugh. Perfect combination in my book. They realize just what people think of them and I get to put a statement across.

It's gonna be perfect.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Ah, young Padawan...

On a busy weekend like one near the holiday of Halloween it's always busy. There's lots of people wanting into the establishment and lots of people waiting in line. The worst part of it all is that most of the people are drunk.

One thing I've noticed is that everyone is in their own world. Even more so on Halloween because they all want to act like the character they're portraying. There's Wolfman howling, Spider-man and Venom wrestling, and a couple dressed as trailer trash (or Britney Spears and Kevin Federline I couldn't really tell..) yelling at everyone.

So I get to step out and tell them all to contain themselves or they wouldn't be allowed in. This lasted a whole 5 minutes maybe. The trailer trash couple lasted about a minute and they were back to screaming at each other. So I did what I said I was going to do.

"Guys, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"What the fuck for!?"

"I already explained it to you. If you can't be quiet out here when I ask you to you can't go inside."

The typical argument and name calling starts up and they leave. Next on the list, the Wolfman. He just wouldn't shut up.

"Hey man, I'm gonna ask you one more time. Quit howling or just leave."

"Oh, I'm sorry man."

I turn away and he howls. I turn back and his friends are laughing as he points to someone else in the group. "That's it man, don't waste your time waiting your not getting in." His friends start laughing and the Wolfman and his friends start to walk off. Behind them is a guy dressed up as a young Padawan, from Star Wars.

After telling the Wolfman he had to leave about a half an hour goes by and the Jedi Padawan is next in line to get in. As he stands there and waits he seems very patient since he just waited close to an hour just to come in.

It's now drawing closer to closing time when a few regulars walk up and say their hellos. A few minutes later a few people leave and I let the regulars in. This seems to have awakened the 'dark side' in the young Padawan.

"Man, what the fuck? Why ain't I going in?"

"You'll be in as soon as I can get you in there."

"No. Fuck that. I should be going in now."

"I'll tell you when you can go in. Keep talkin and you won't be going in at all."

A minute or two of silence and then it happens. I hear clearing of a nose and I feel a slight thud on my jacket. I look down and see the ball of spit and snot slowly rolling over itself as it walks down the front of my jacket. I look up and see the face of the Padawan slowly go from victorious to scared as he looks at me.

I step forward and grab him by the shoulder and raise my other arm. I pull my hand back and flatten it so I can smack him across the face like the child he is. Then he turns and pulls out of the cloak he had on like it was a layer of skin shedding off a snake. He gets to the curb of the street and stands there flipping me off. I stand my ground and wait.

I step into the establishment and ask Paulie to get me a wet rag to wipe my jacket off with. He comes back and looks at my jacket, "Is that really what I think it is?"

"Yep. Little fucker spit right on me."

"He still out there?"

"Yep. He'll be staying the weekend in jail soon though."

This is something people don't think about when they do stupid things. I'm not one to actually follow up on something like this but I will use it to my advantage. If you get arrested on a Friday night your not getting out until late Monday afternoon. Court isn't open on Saturday or Sunday so you have to sit and wait till Monday.

I step back outside and the guy is still at the curbside. Now he's rattling off about how he's a law student. He knows his rights and he knows that it's illegal for me to refuse him entrance. I guess he's not a very good law student because the number one rule with liquor establishments is this.

We have the right to refuse service to any one for any reason at any time.

However, learning that he is a law student makes it even better. Now I can just have him arrested for public drunkenness and screw him in two different ways. Make him sit all weekend and make him wait even longer to take his Bar Exam.

Why? From what I've been told by lawyers and policemen is this. If you have an arrest on your record you will automatically be refused by the state bar for licensing. You will be denied until the arrest is off of your record. Which means if you graduate you'll be flipping burgers because you can't practice law until you pass the Bar.

"An applicant must have good moral character,..."

Soon enough I see a squad car driving by and I flag them down with my flashlight. They pull up and the young Padawan starts walking down the street. The driver side window rolls down. "What's up Mike?"

"There's a young guy dressed as a Jedi walking around the corner. I think he'd like to spend the weekend in your motel."

"What'd he do?"

"He mumbled something and spit on me. Couldn't understand him but I think he said something about having something."

"Ok, we'll go get him."

Five minutes later the squad pulls back up. They ask me to identify the guy in the back seat and I sign a couple forms. Then they leave as I wave good bye to the Padawan going off to his fun weekend of Bubba and Bill. The cops tell me not to worry about showing up for court.

Surprisingly, the Spider-man and Venom characters that were wrestling in line were never a problem again. Even at the end of the night when Venom had to be partially carried out by Spider-man.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Friday, October 26, 2007

Almost here...

Halloween is almost upon us. Worse yet, the weekend before Halloween is here.

Tonight will be a revolving night of statements that intoxicated patrons will think are questions. While checking i.d.'s at the door I'll have to ask people to remove masks. Then I'll have to tell some people that they can't bring certain props into the establishment.

Here's a few tips for approaching a doorman at a bar / club during Halloween.
  • Don't carry props to your costume. - No one cares that your a baseball player. Your not taking a baseball bat into a crowded club full of drunk people.
  • Don't wear a costume that obstructs your face. - If you have a mask, take it off. If it won't come off then you won't get in.
  • Don't be the person your dressed as. - Just because your costume is a giant penis doesn't mean you have to be a dick.
  • Don't over do the make up. - Again. If I can't tell who you are due to your make up, I won't let you in. I don't care about your costume.
  • Don't walk up wasted and try to tell me that your being a drunk for Halloween. - It's been tried before and you get the same treatment as a drunk walking up on Halloween.
  • There is still a dress code. - Even though it's Halloween, you still have to have shoes, shirt and some kind of pants / shorts.
There's just a few. I'm sure I'll think of more as the weekend goes.

5 more days till....

I swear I'll get back to posting real entries. Just a busy time of year for me.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

7 days till...

I found this video on I'm guessing it'll be taken down fairly quickly but if it doesn't work just go to this site.

Saw IV

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Monday, October 22, 2007

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Saturday, October 20, 2007

That time of year...

It's about that time of the year again. The night more people will be pissed off at a club's security then any other night of the year. This time of year that I speak of?


It's the time of year that people can dress up in any way that they want to. Women can dress like sluts and the hookers fit in like everyone else. It's the time of year when anyone can be anyone and all the dregs of society fit in like they're everyone else.

It's strange for me to say that this used to be my favorite part of the year. The running through the cemeteries, hiding from the cops, toilet papering people's homes, and the never ending supply of candy. In some ways I'm kind of glad I out grew that stage. In many other ways I wish I hadn't.

I do remember a time when I was about 15 years old. Some friends and I decided to go out to the cemetery that was a couple miles out of town. We walked out there by following a railroad track, the whole time joking about how much it was like Stand By Me. Other than we weren't looking for a dead body and it wasn't going to take us days to get where we were going.

It only took us about 20 minutes to make it to the cemetery. After we got there we didn't even really think about what we were going to do, we just wanted to make it out there. We had heard a bunch of high schoolers say they were going there and we wanted to see what was going on. Of course, when we got there no one was anywhere to be seen. A couple years before there was a high schooler that had died in a car accident so we decided to go check out his gravestone and see if maybe anyone left anything there. So we started off across the graveyard.

Half way across the graveyard was a giant mausoleum. As we got closer to it a spot light lit up on the doors of it. All four of us jumped in different directions and hid in bushes and behind tombstones. The one cop in town was driving through the cemetery and was looking to see if anyone was around.

I was folded up as much as I could be in between two little evergreen trees next to a tombstone. Then the spotlight started moving around through the trees and the area near us. He never did find any of us though or he did and just didn't want to do anything. I remember the spotlight stopping on me for a second or two that felt like an eternity. Then the car drove by and he headed back towards town.

We ended up heading over to the tombstone of the high schooler that had died a couple years before. We stood there looking at his name and the dates . It was a very quiet moment. Lots of thoughts went through my mind. I think it was primarily the past memories of the times I had known him and the things that he had done. I knew him as well as I could but I never really knew him for who he was. I don't think anyone really knows anyone at the high school level. Your not really the person that your going to be yet. Your just beginning to know yourself at that age.

So we walked back to town down that railroad pathway and headed back to the bar that our parents were sitting in. As I walked in and sat next to my father he just looked at me and laughed. He pointed out the grass stains on my new jeans and said, "Your mothers gonna kill you for get grass stains on those jeans." Then I wondered if my dead friend ever had to hear that from his father.

That night ended soon after that. My father drank and talked with friends and I ate tacos and ran around town. It was one of the good times when nothing really mattered.

Those days lasted longer than most.

11 Days to go....

In the spirit of Halloween you have to go see 30 Days of Night. From the clips I've seen it looks like it's going to be one of the best horror movies released lately. I don't count remakes because all they're doing is putting a new spin on old information.

Here's the trailer.

It looks like a great spin on the old vampire tales. The last have come to breed. Will they succeed?

I'll hopefully be able to see it soon if my weekend isn't too busy with work. If you have seen it feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you thought of it.

Also check out Horror Movie Online for more interesting articles about horror movies, reviews, and industry news.

Friday, October 19, 2007