On a busy weekend like one near the holiday of Halloween it's always busy. There's lots of people wanting into the establishment and lots of people waiting in line. The worst part of it all is that most of the people are drunk.
One thing I've noticed is that everyone is in their own world. Even more so on Halloween because they all want to act like the character they're portraying. There's Wolfman howling, Spider-man and Venom wrestling, and a couple dressed as trailer trash (or Britney Spears and Kevin Federline I couldn't really tell..) yelling at everyone.
So I get to step out and tell them all to contain themselves or they wouldn't be allowed in. This lasted a whole 5 minutes maybe. The trailer trash couple lasted about a minute and they were back to screaming at each other. So I did what I said I was going to do.
"Guys, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"What the fuck for!?"
"I already explained it to you. If you can't be quiet out here when I ask you to you can't go inside."
The typical argument and name calling starts up and they leave. Next on the list, the Wolfman. He just wouldn't shut up.
"Hey man, I'm gonna ask you one more time. Quit howling or just leave."
"Oh, I'm sorry man."
I turn away and he howls. I turn back and his friends are laughing as he points to someone else in the group. "That's it man, don't waste your time waiting your not getting in." His friends start laughing and the Wolfman and his friends start to walk off. Behind them is a guy dressed up as a young Padawan, from Star Wars.
After telling the Wolfman he had to leave about a half an hour goes by and the Jedi Padawan is next in line to get in. As he stands there and waits he seems very patient since he just waited close to an hour just to come in.
It's now drawing closer to closing time when a few regulars walk up and say their hellos. A few minutes later a few people leave and I let the regulars in. This seems to have awakened the 'dark side' in the young Padawan.
"Man, what the fuck? Why ain't I going in?"
"You'll be in as soon as I can get you in there."
"No. Fuck that. I should be going in now."
"I'll tell you when you can go in. Keep talkin and you won't be going in at all."
A minute or two of silence and then it happens. I hear clearing of a nose and I feel a slight thud on my jacket. I look down and see the ball of spit and snot slowly rolling over itself as it walks down the front of my jacket. I look up and see the face of the Padawan slowly go from victorious to scared as he looks at me.
I step forward and grab him by the shoulder and raise my other arm. I pull my hand back and flatten it so I can smack him across the face like the child he is. Then he turns and pulls out of the cloak he had on like it was a layer of skin shedding off a snake. He gets to the curb of the street and stands there flipping me off. I stand my ground and wait.
I step into the establishment and ask Paulie to get me a wet rag to wipe my jacket off with. He comes back and looks at my jacket, "Is that really what I think it is?"
"Yep. Little fucker spit right on me."
"He still out there?"
"Yep. He'll be staying the weekend in jail soon though."
This is something people don't think about when they do stupid things. I'm not one to actually follow up on something like this but I will use it to my advantage. If you get arrested on a Friday night your not getting out until late Monday afternoon. Court isn't open on Saturday or Sunday so you have to sit and wait till Monday.
I step back outside and the guy is still at the curbside. Now he's rattling off about how he's a law student. He knows his rights and he knows that it's illegal for me to refuse him entrance. I guess he's not a very good law student because the number one rule with liquor establishments is this.
We have the right to refuse service to any one for any reason at any time.
However, learning that he is a law student makes it even better. Now I can just have him arrested for public drunkenness and screw him in two different ways. Make him sit all weekend and make him wait even longer to take his Bar Exam.
Why? From what I've been told by lawyers and policemen is this. If you have an arrest on your record you will automatically be refused by the state bar for licensing. You will be denied until the arrest is off of your record. Which means if you graduate you'll be flipping burgers because you can't practice law until you pass the Bar.
"An applicant must have good moral character,..."
Soon enough I see a squad car driving by and I flag them down with my flashlight. They pull up and the young Padawan starts walking down the street. The driver side window rolls down. "What's up Mike?"
"There's a young guy dressed as a Jedi walking around the corner. I think he'd like to spend the weekend in your motel."
"What'd he do?"
"He mumbled something and spit on me. Couldn't understand him but I think he said something about having something."
"Ok, we'll go get him."
Five minutes later the squad pulls back up. They ask me to identify the guy in the back seat and I sign a couple forms. Then they leave as I wave good bye to the Padawan going off to his fun weekend of Bubba and Bill. The cops tell me not to worry about showing up for court.
Surprisingly, the Spider-man and Venom characters that were wrestling in line were never a problem again. Even at the end of the night when Venom had to be partially carried out by Spider-man.
You've got to like any story that ends with a Jedi getting his ass kicked.
You're just lucky he hasn't called his Mom yet.
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