There's always that one guy that thinks he's the big shot. He thinks he knows all the right people and he thinks he goes to all the right places. Sometimes reality sinks in.
On a busy night, with people waiting in line, a gentleman walks up past the line. He does the same thing that a lot of people do. He drops a name that isn't all that important.
"Hey buddy, I'm good friends with Mark over at Cookie's Clubhouse. Anything you can do for us?"
"Well, there are people waiting in line over here so there's not a lot I can do."
"Yea, but I'm good friends with Mark. He said to come over here."
Here's what most people don't realize. Most doormen in this area know most of the important people in the industry. We talk to other people and yes, we do go out on some occasions. So we know who's who.
"I heard you the first time. I know who Mark is, I don't know who you are. So your going to have to wait in line."
"You can't help us out to skip this line? I'm good friends with Mark."
"Listen, if your good friends with Mark then you should know how this works. You want to skip the line then you know what to do."
The guy turns and walks back to the end of the line. Then returns with two younger ladies by his side and stands by the side of the entrance. Ten minutes goes by and three people leave the establishment. So I check the i.d. of the next three people in line and let them in. Another ten minutes goes by and four people leave. I check the i.d. of the next four people in line and let them in. Then Pancho walks up to me.
"Hey man, I told you. I'm good friends with Mark. Are you going to do anything for us?"
"I already told you. You should know how this works. You take care of me, I take care of you."
Then Pancho squares his shoulders up with mine and leans his body in towards mine. He raises his voice so others can hear and says, "What?! You want me to pay you to come into this place!?"
The people in line turn and look towards us. "No, you don't have to pay me. You can wait in line."
His voice gets louder, "Man, fuck this!! If we would of stayed in line we'd be in already!"
"That was your choice, not mine."
"So you want me to pay you so we can skip the line?"
"That's how it works buddy."
"Fuck that! Fuck this place and fuck you!!!" Now he takes a step towards me. Just a small step. I'd even go so far as to say a half of a step. "I tell you who my friends are and it means nothing to you!? Then you say you want money from me?"
Now he turns and looks at the two girls that are with him. I reach down and pull my flashlight out of my pocket and wrap my fingers around it so it fits nice and tight in my palm like a roll of quarters. His hand comes up and he points his finger in my face.
Now he's yelling, "Fuck you man!! Fuck you! You don't know who I am!!" And on cue the two 4'8" slender girls wrap their arms around his waist and start pulling him away from the entrance and me. "You just wait mother fucker! You'll know who I am when I come back for you!!"
Then he walks away.
I'm really glad those two girls with a combined weight of 200lbs were able to hold him back. I'm not sure what I would have done if they weren't there.
Of course, I could have kicked him in the balls and then punched him in the back of the head. I could have just put an elbow to his temple. I could have smacked him in the throat. I'm just really glad those to waifs of women were there to hold him back.
The tough guy routine is really over done but I haven't seen it in a long time. It's good to see it occasionally just to be reminded about how absurd it truly is.
I wonder if that means he's got a really small penis?
This guy, it was Mitt Romney, wasn't it? Ha! Nice post, sir. And I'll just wait my turn over here, to get in ofcourse.
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