Rock Star Lines V...

"Is Chris in there?"

"Excuse me?"

"Chris. You know Chris. He in there?"

"I have no idea. The line is over there. Please wait in it."

"Oh no. You know Chris. He wears a plaid hat. Is he in there?" She was all of 100lbs soaking wet. "I'm here to save him from getting his ass kicked."

"Then no, he's not in here." I have no idea who Chris is.

"Listen, if your lying to me then that's just rude. All I want to do is go in and get him and pull him out of here."

"That's nice. All I want is for you to go wait in the line right over there." I point to the end of the line that is about half a block away.

"Really? Your going to make me wait in this line? I'm not attractive?"

"I'll answer yes, you decide which question I'm answering." At this point I figured the whole Chris story was bullshit anyways. Seeing as how it went from concern for her friend to whether or not she's attractive.

"So I can go in?"

"You didn't ask if you could. Go wait in line."

Often times people make up such random stories to see if they can skip lines. It's never really made much sense to me. Often times it's so easy to trip people up in their own stories. Names change in mid story or they just change it entirely because they see it's not working. Granted, if the story is entertaining enough it works sometimes. Especially if it brings me out of a state of boredom for a minute.

"Really? I have to wait?"

"Yep. Just like all these other people."

She sighed, rolled her eyes, turned and walked away. She walked towards the end of the line and kept going around the block.

Her friend Chris must have been really important to her.

Innuendos...

Speaking in innuendos is a tricky and fun way to go about the night. There's always a way to say something without really saying it. I think I've touched on it before in a more general way in a previous post a while back. Innuendos are usually pretty subtle and only a handful of people tend to catch them they way they should. At work I tend to use innuendos a lot to talk to people I work with and the occasional person that comes to the door. It's an even more fun conversation with a girl that loves to talk the same way.

This little lady is a gamer and loves her new Nintendo Wii. As she's walking out she stops to talk a little bit. "Ok, I guess I'm gonna head home.."

"What's at home?"

"Well, I got that nice hard thing at home to put in my hand. You know, I have a Wii at home now."

"Really? I don't have a hard stick at home to play with."

"Oh, I'm sure there is one. It just needs a little prodding."

"No... I don't have a Wii at home... just an old Xbox. Even it needs some prodding to warm up."

"Well... maybe you should come over and play with mine."

"Honestly, if you have a hard stick that you want me to play with... I'll have to look at you in a whole new way." With that I get a laugh and a smack on the arm.

"Oh, you know you'd love it if I did," and with a wink she started walking away.

Conversations like that are far and between but they're great for the ego and soul. There aren't many people that will usually have a playful conversation like that because most take it too seriously.

Later that night I got a text that said, "My stick broke, can I play with yours?"

To which I replied with, "LOL"

Misconceptions of granduer...

"No, he's fine. He's with me."

"Listen hun, I'm trying to close down the bar. I can't have extra people sitting around in here."

"Well, he's with me then, that ok?"

"Well, if he's with you then I'm gonna have to ask you to leave too. Sorry."

"What!? I always stick around!"

Some people get to stick around after hours. Yea, they're not supposed to technically but there are always little rules that get bent. Usually it's boyfriends, girlfriends, roommates or some kind of good friend. Some times it's people who work in the industry at a different bar or restaurant. Most of these people know the rules. You don't cause problems. You don't get loud. You just hang out while it's quiet, talk with friends and enjoy a drink or two.

It's never people who aren't good friends of an employee or the bar.

"I don't know who this guy is. He can leave."

"Are you serious? He's a friend of mine."

"And who's his friend that works here? I don't know him so he has to go. Plain and simple."

"Then how come I always get to stay?"

"Your fuckin Casper aren't ya?"

The expression on her face was worth it. Not only did I bust her out in front of some guy but she actually didn't know that everyone there knew about her and Casper.

"Wha.. what did you say?"

"Listen, everyone that hangs out, hangs out for a reason. It's not a right. Boyfriends wait for girlfriends and hook ups wait for hook ups. Not friends of hook ups. They don't count."

Then the guy decided to pipe in. "Hey man, I can pay for my drinks."

"Hey man, you want to do me a favor? Just leave. There's no paying for drinks now, the bar's closed. Bye."

So the guy shrugs his shoulders and tells the girl that he's taking off. A few minutes later her phone rings. She talks a little bit, hangs up, says her good byes to everyone and leaves. I step outside to make sure she gets into a cab and see Casper pull up. He steps out of his car and motions her over. She starts walking across the street and Casper gives me a thumbs up. I guess I made a point that he wanted her to know.

Casper's a dick but he did say one thing once that made sense. If you have something they want they'll never leave you. I guess being able to hang out late night at a bar is enough for some.

Sad to think that's all it takes for some people.