Monday, December 31, 2007

New Year's Eve...

It's New Year's Eve and your going out in style!! Drunken Style, that is..

Please re-visit the Don't List to help your night go smoother.

Remember, a lot of people are out tonight. A lot of drunk people that are more idiots tonight than ever. There's also a lot of thieves out tonight too.

Ladies. Keep your hands on your purses at all times. One of the stupidest things you can do is imagine that you live in a world that someone won't steal your purse.

Men. Keep your hands to yourself and your mouths shut. No one wants to know if you think your tough.

Have fun but be safe by all means.

If you see a long line at your favorite establishment then take very good care of the doorstaff if you want in. It's New Year's and even if you might be special on busy nights, you might not be special tonight. Besides, the doorstaff is already dealing with enough crap to be nice, so be extra nice to them.

Be safe, have fun and I'll see you next year.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

New Day..

I've never really understood the big deal about New Year's Eve. Maybe it's the cynical part of me coming to the surface again.

New Year's has always just been another night to me, nothing very special.

It's a big night for the bar industry. A night that everyone goes out for and almost everyone is wasted for. The city offers special rates for public transportation and the cab companies sometimes give deals for the wasted. All done in good ways so people get home safe and aren't stuck passing out in alleyways. It also keeps some of the drunks off the street so sober people like myself aren't in such danger of driving home.

When I was a kid growing up the family got together with close relatives and we all hung out at another relatives house for New Year. These days we're all lucky if we see each other once a year. I never really saw the big deal about New Year's then either. Other than I could stay up past midnight.

Everything has been pretty busy this past week. Everyone is starting to get used to the cold so now they're coming out more. This weekend has been busier as well. People have Monday and Tuesday off so it's like an extended 4 day weekend. Which means it's busier for me too.

I guess time will tell as to how busy Monday night is. Usually there's a private event on New Year's, not this year. Business as usual. It's always better to have a private event for New Year's. Less drunk walk ups means a better time for all.

Be safe this year. If you go out, don't drive. If you must drive. Don't drink.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Winter...

Winter time brings on many adoring things that everyone loves. The flu, common cold, coughing, sneezing and headaches. It's such a wonderful thing when your stuck outside of a doorway and it's raining or snowing and 30 degrees.

No matter what you wear there's really no way to protect yourself from sickness. If your lucky the establishment will put a heat lamp out for you. If it's like any other place, they don't care because your just a mindless brute that likes the job.

Needless to say, I'm sick. The good news is that this is my one time to be sick all year. It's very rare that I ever get sick. Of course this is also the time when I prove the point that I've said to many other doormen that have worked for me.

"Your never to sick to stand outside a door."

The only time your too sick to stand in a doorway and card people is when your heading to the emergency room at the local hospital. Why do I say this? If your too sick to come to work then your well off enough to not bitch about not having enough money. If you can handle taking the few days off due to being sick then you have the money to do it.

A typical sickness lasts more than a day. So if you take one day off from work you might as well take three. Just to make sure you get over it. Then if you bitch about having so many days off it's your problem, not mine. I honestly don't care, I'll work those days and keep the money.

So yea, I have enough mucus coming out of me in the past few days to fill a tub. I wish I could sell this stuff by the pint. I think I'd be a millionaire by now..

Still at it though.

Be safe.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Ho Ho Ho...

Ah Christmas time... Such a slow night of nights.

The neighborhood looks like it should be a scene from a horror movie. Desolate and only a few lights on other than the street lights. I'm just waiting for the zombies to start moaning and stumbling their way in.

Of course that never happens. That would be too much excitement for such a day.

Later in the night we'll get a few alcohol induced zombies. They're not as fun as real zombies. It's not like I could bust their heads open and save the world. Well.. No... I couldn't.

Hope everyone's holiday went better than planned.

Be safe.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

A slight tick away from perfection...

One thing I learned from a life long friend is this. "If it's not perfect then it's not right." That could be used in many different ways but he was referring to women.

He got married just a few months ago to the girl that he thinks is his perfect match. As far as I'm concerned, I'm glad he's happy. I have nothing to say about his new wife except that she is a great person and to marry him, she must be perfect.

His general rule of thumb seems to have worked great for him. My general rule of thumb? Give it a shot. If the sex is great, then you can put up with some of the idiocrasies. Horrible rule of thumb, I know, I'm still learning...

One thing I never understood are the girls that are dominatrices. Sure, I understand that some men like feeling like shit about themselves. They need that in order to feel superior to others or just to feel good about themselves. What I don't understand are the two extremely attractive girls I know that do the job.

After a very frustrating night at work I met up with Sueann. She's a Dominatrix who goes by a different name. A name that I won't even speak of here but it begins with Mistress and ends with some dark, brooding, evil twang.

The night at work was very frustrating. We had several people removed from the bar and a couple fights. Needless to say I was pretty pent up after a night of throwing people around. All I really wanted to do was go home and fall asleep on the couch as I watched a rerun on tv. After the second fight at the bar she came up and started talking to me. She was very persuasive in getting my attention and after only a couple minutes she had it, fully. She could have distracted a fat man at a pie eating contest. She was wearing a tight black corset with red fringe, thigh high black stockings, a mini skirt and those boots most commonly known as hooker heels. Her hair was black as night and pulled back tight in a pony tail. Her face was angelic with that little spurt of evil slowly dribbling out around her eyes and mouth.

She managed to talk me into taking her and her other dominatrix friend out to breakfast. Every word that came out of her mouth was sultry and full of innuendos. She spoke of things that I could only have dreamt of. She talked of how she wanted a man that could throw her around and have his way with her.

We went to breakfast after I got out of work and she sat next to me and her lone friend sat across from us at the table. Her friend couldn't decide if she wanted to talk or eat and in between forks of food her mouth wouldn't stop. Then her phone rang and she was off like a race horse chattering into the small cell phone. Meanwhile, Sueann's hands explored the lowlands that they found under the table.

Sueann's friend finally got off the phone and announced that she was going to leave. She jumped up from the table and ran out the door leaving me with the bill. I paid the bill and then Sueann and I were off. In the car I asked where I could take her and she looked at me and answered easily. "I'm staying with you tonight."

I parked my car a block away from the homestead and we walked in. As we got into the front door the heels started coming off and the thigh highs were on their way. Our jackets fell into a pile and my shirt was next. Then she ran off to the bathroom.

After about 5 minutes I decided to just sit on the couch and turned on the tv. I slowly start to nod off after another 15 minutes. Next thing I know I open my eyes and shes sitting on the other end of the couch crying.

"Whoa, whats the matter?"

"I don't know why I do this," her sobbing blotted out most of the words.

"Do what?"

"I s sh shouldn't be here... I need to leave..."

I sat up and put my arm around her for comfort. "If you think you should leave then feel free. If you want to stay the night you can."

"No funny business?" Her eyes looked like they were in awe or confusion.

"None at all. Besides, how good can it be if your bawling your eyes out?"

She laughed a little, "Eh he... I guess, usually that's how the guys want to be acting." She smiled a little more.

"Not this one, I just want to pass out."

The next morning I woke up right where I fell asleep on the couch. Sueann wasn't next to me though. I looked and she wasn't in my bedroom either. Then I went on to check my pockets and the money and valuables I had at the apartment. Everything was present and accounted for.

I walked into the kitchen and found a note.

Mike,

I'm sorry your such a pussy and couldn't take what you wanted from such a small helpless girl. Not to worry, I'll see to it that everyone finds out what a piece of shit you really are. To believe that you wouldn't even sleep with me. Don't you know that I wanted it to happen? That's why I came here. You must be gay.

Mistress ________


Talk about your nut jobs.

This incident firmly justifies my reasoning to stay clear of girls who want to be or are a Dominatrix. Something just tells me that there has to be some kind of unbalance inside there. Some kind of mistreatment that just disturbed them to the core. Of course this doesn't go for all the women that are Dominatrices but I will say that it probably goes for the ones I know.

So I can now add Dominatrix to the not perfect list.

If it's not perfect, it's not right.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Just a bow and nothing more....

"Did Santa talk to you yet?"

"Who?"

"Santa Claus..." The woman standing before me was quite the looker. She was about 5'6" and had all the curves in the right places. She filled out the curves in almost perfect proportions.

"Why would he talk to me?"

"Well, I told him that I wanted you for Christmas."

"I'm a little busy for Christmas but I'm free after work tonight."

She smiled, "Oh, I've always wanted to get my presents early." She reached up and rested her hand on my chest. "Well, I guess I'll just wait for you inside then." She reached for the door to the establishment.

"You should do that. First though, I need your i.d. before you go in."

She reached into her purse and pulled out her i.d.. I took it and looked at it, the birthdate was 1-5-87. "Hun, you know your not old enough to come in here right?"

She smiled and gave me a subtle wink, "Oh, I'll make up for it later tonight."

I stood there looking at her. I looked in through the door and noticed a guy standing inside. He was giving her the thumbs up then thumbs down sign as if asking, "Are you getting in?"

I looked back at her, "Sorry hun, I'm sure it would have been wonderful but your gonna have to wait a few days before you come in."

"Oh, I gave you the wrong one, that's my sisters," she reached into her purse again and pulled out a second i.d. "Here, this ones me."

I look at the second i.d., "This isn't you." I slide the i.d. into my pocket.

"Yes it is."

"Really? Different last name as your sister? It's slightly possible. 6'2"? Not possible. To top it off, the i.d. expired 3 years ago. It's not you."

Her face dropped. The smiled eroded into a frown, her eyebrows dropped and her eyes squinted. "Oh, you would of let me in if you didn't see these huh? You fuckin perv!" Her voice became louder as it went on.

As she was talking I raised my hand in front of her face. With my fingers straight I closed them together so they met my thumb as if symbolizing her mouth to close like a puppet. I think this angered her because she just kept talking. Then it was my turn to be loud.

"Hey! Listen. If you were old enough to come in, I'd let you in. I didn't start this conversation. You did. Don't write checks with your mouth if your ass can't cash it. Walk away, we're done."

She just kept talking. So every time she started to talk I'd hold up my hand and add in a "Shh". Then the door opened and the guy that was standing inside stepped out.

"Hey man, how come my friend can't come in?"

"Because she's 20."

"What? She was just in my bar. She's old enough."

"Guess you better learn how to spot fakes."

The guy turned around and walked back into the establishment. The girl started to walk away and I had to add my 2 cents. "Keep talking to Santa maybe he'll get what you want for next year." I smiled and waved as she walked off.

She turned around, yelled "Fuck you!!" and gave me the 2 middle finger salute.

I stood there wondering if I would have fallen for that if she had given me the other i.d. first. Anythings possible especially when your wanted as a Christmas gift. Can't let Santa down, ya know?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Brotherly Love...

"I'm just saying... If your tired, your tired."

"It's just a slump, I'll be fine once these holidays are over."

"You don't usually fall into slumps."

My brother and I don't always see things eye to eye. We both see things in a pretty clear manner, almost in a black and white scenario. It's either good or bad and it's either something we do or we don't do. Sometimes he tends to look at things a little deeper than I do.

"I'm just saying, if your already thinking of doing other things then maybe you should look into other things."

"I'm not too worried about it. It'll pass with the holidays."

"Ok, just don't come running to me when it doesn't."

"When have you ever known me to come running to you?"

"Your here now aren't you?"

"I definitely didn't run here. I drove."

"Ha ha... dickhead."

The weekend was pretty uneventful. We went out and had a good time, checked out a few bars and even caught a band or two. It still didn't cure the restlessness that I've been feeling lately.

We left Sunday and I got back today.

More posts to come.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Time in a Car...

A couple days in the car and we pull into a another big city. This one is much bigger and is riddled with much more notorious individuals. I've often thought about coming to a city like this with it's history of mobsters but part of me has always told me that it'd just get me in trouble.

The weather here is about the same as the weather back home, cold and wet. It's much more windy here though. A couple days in the car with my friend and we got here safe and sound. Then it only took us another hour or so to find parking once we found my brother's house. Every where you look you see lawn furniture in the streets. People saving their parking spots now that the snow has been flying. Don't tell anyone but I did move one to take a spot. I just put it across the street in an empty spot though. Sometimes it's fun to be Loki for a day...

Spending that much time in a car with a person can either make or break the trip. You never really know how much you can stand a person until your locked in a car for a long time. It's a lot of one on one time and no way to escape. You get to see what you have in common and any reasons why you might want this person to disappear off the face of the Earth. You get to see things about a person that probably wouldn't come up in every day situations.

We made it to my brothers and got everything inside and unpacked. In a few more days we'd be off to our parents house. I finally got a break from everyone the next day when my brother's girlfriend and my friend decided they should go shopping.

"No, don't let him on your computer, he'll never get off that damn thing!"

I slightly smiled and raised my right index finger to the temple of my head and rotated it in a circle and then lowered it and pointed at my friend behind my other hand.

"Seriously, he won't..."

"Oh I know, who do you think is the geek between us?" My brother has a splendid way with words.

My brother and I stayed home and here I am updating this as my brother watches tv. He knows about the blog and helps keep it private, I think. Once again, that's paranoia sinking in... Once they were off it was time to try and update.

So there's a bit of an update. Soon we'll be off to do the traditional early Christmas and I'll be back in time to keep the kids at bay. I think we're going to actually go out to a few of the clubs around here this weekend. Should be interesting to see what some of them are like.

Ah, the holidays... so great.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Omaha Man Opens Fire...

I grew up in a household with a father that was a military man. He wasn't a lifer but he spent enough time in the ranks that he expected certain things. Even though he may not have set the best example he could he did well. He used to always say, "Do as I say, not as I do."

He taught respect and he had a very good idea of death. If an animal was on it's way to death he would give it that little extra push. Not to say that's the right thing to do but that's how he did it.

I read a little earlier that a man decided that he wasn't fit for the world anymore. So he took the easy way out. He took his weapon of choice and went to the local mall and opened fire. According to the article I read on Newsvine.com, the man killed 8 people and wounded 5 more.

The man had made it to the 3rd level of the mall and opened fire. He hit people on the 3rd and 2nd floors. People were literally packed into dressing rooms to avoid the bullets.

Then the man did what every spineless waste of human flesh does. He turned the gun around to himself and pulled the trigger a final time. Why couldn't he just do this at home while he was all alone?

Condolences go out to the families since this man was such a piece of shit. I've never understood the thinking behind doing such a thing. I am proud to say that I fully support the right to bear arms. I am not proud of the mental cases that abuse that right. If there was such a mental aptitude test in order to own a gun it wouldn't matter, people would still find a way to get them.

I've been through many rough times and I've never once thought about suicide. It's the weak man's way out. It's something that a low life that can't possible deal with problems would do. I've said it a hundred times. I'm not a religious person but this has nothing to do with religion. This was all about a nobody that wanted the world to know that he was there.

And how hard is it to let the world know that your there? In this modern time it's very easy. After all, I'm a nobody but I'm here and I'm letting the world know it. If the entire world doesn't want to know about me then screw them. Those that do are here and they're listening.

There are a million ways for the world to hear you. You can start a blog, you can put out videos, you can even start one of those Myspace pages. Once you do, you go down in history and someone will know who you are.

According to another news source he left a suicide note that said he wanted "to go out in style". What kind of style is that dumbass? Who knows, maybe he actually wore a suit.

Anyway you look at it. He's still a spineless piece of bowel movement. An excrement of society.

Now he'll get all the tv ratings and the world will know him. Why? Because the media loves to focus on the bad things. Why focus on good things when the world doesn't care about it.

I quit watching the news a long time ago because it just makes the human race look more like crap everyday.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Dirty Laundry...

On any night I'm surrounded by beautiful women. I don't say that because I'm something that attracts beautiful women. I say that because they are pleasing to the eyes and they work at the establishment. Then again, coming from a guy that's been sober for a long time that should be a compliment to the ladies.

On many occasions I've dealt with problems concerning them. Some guys being a little too touchy feely, another called her a bitch, another pushed a waitress, etc etc. I've gladly removed these assholes from the place in a quick manner. Plenty of times these guys trip and fall down on their way to the door or out of the door. "Here's a little something from the girls," I like to say.

Then there's the problems that I really can't do much about. At least I can't when it's not at work. I'm more than happy to remove an asshole from a bar but when it comes to personal issues away from the establishment, I tend to stand clear. I don't have any personal investments in anyone that I work with so there's no need for me to get into that personal zone.

Once in a while there's a chance that I can help clear things up. Especially if the boyfriend or husband decides to bring the dirty laundry to the establishment.

Personally, I don't care who you are. You can be the boyfriend or the husband but you never lay a hand on an employee. If you have a problem then discuss that at home. This is work. This is where people make money. This is the place that people come to so they can forget their problems and have a good time. They don't come here to see waitresses argue with their significant other. They especially don't come here to see the significant other slap a woman.

Here's the predicament that I get put into when there is an assault on an employee.

No matter who it is, they get removed. They are removed quickly and as quietly as we can. It doesn't matter if it's a boyfriend, husband or a father. No one smacks an employee. This is a universal rule. If the guy's lucky he doesn't trip too many times on the way out the door. The building is really old and the floor pops up in some places. If your drunk or wasted you don't notice these things. You tend to fall down.

This is a universal rule for one reason. If we don't get rid of you then every asshole in the place will think it's ok to do what that guy just did. Then it'll become a slapfest. Slapfest's are only fun when Mr. Knuckles can jump in.

So when I hear about how much of an ass a boyfriend or husband is being, there's not much I'm willing to do on the personal level. I'm not going to go to someone's house and talk to them. It's not my problem. I will let them into the establishment though. Then keep a very close eye on them. Once they mess up inside the walls it's open season.

I'll even have a smile on my face as they keep tripping towards the door.

As we wait for the cops to show up I'll keep reminding you how pretty you look and to stay away from the guy named John in the holding cell.

Then when the cops arrive and the girl comes out and says she doesn't want to press charges. I'll remind the cops that I want to press charges. I'll then jokingly ask the cops to put you in the holding cell with John.

As the cops pull off with you in the car I'll be standing there with the girl. She'll ask why I pressed charges and I'll tell her that it's policy. Then I'll go on about how much of a piece of shit you are and that she can do a lot better. That now is a perfect time to get away from you.

Hopefully, she listens.

If she's weak then she'll go back to him. He'll be banned from the club and he'll make her quit because he can't come in to watch over her. Which, in the long run, will be better for the establishment.

If she's strong. She'll lose the guy and never go back to him. She'll find a new self respect and live a better life.

Sadly, in my experience, the first option is usually true. An attractive woman that thinks she has to keep that relationship going because she has issues.

We all have issues I guess.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Blogs & the holidays...

With the holidays approaching so does a lot of travel time. So I may not be able to update as frequently as I'd like to. So I jumped on the Twitter band wagon so I can do some small mobile posts.

You can keep up with my mobile posts at: http://twitter.com/mike_drmn

I also put the Twitter widget on the left of the page under the Recent Comments.

Twitter is very easy to use and it's a good way to keep up without a computer around. I haven't jumped into the laptop area just yet and it's pretty hard to carry a desktop pc around on your back. So with all this said I'll introduce you to a few other blogs that you might like as well. This way you can keep up with them until I can get back on to a regular post basis.


Kimchihead

I just started reading Kimchihead a couple months ago. I really like the way this guy writes.

His style is like the old gritty detective stories that you might associate with from the 1940's. He's very descriptive and the entries he posts are like stories all in their own. There's a slight backdrop of insight and a lesson in each one. Some of the stories even pull at the strings of the heart.


Clublife

Clublife has been a blog that I've read for a long time. It actually gave me the idea to start up this blog. I hate to say that I'm following someone's example but everyone does at some point. I'm not out looking for a book deal but I'm glad that he found his. We're similar in some senses but the environments are different.

So if you want to see another doorman's perspective jump over and read his. The archives are well worth reading. In fact, you might want to start with his oldest posts first.


Blogdiggidy!

Angie T brings you Chicago. Her posts are usually humorous and she has an undying love for a certain politician. Throw in odd posts of comedians and her own insight and you have a great read.


If you want to check out any of the blogs that I check up on, feel free to follow the links in the link section on the left. I need to go through and clean house though.. Some of them seem to be collecting dust. Too bad, I really enjoyed reading them. I can understand though, there have been times that I've thought about hanging up my keyboard too.

I'll be posting infrequently until the holidays are over.

Have a great holiday and I'll probably be back before you know it.

Be safe.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Another one down...

I read today that Evel Knievel has passed on. He was 69 years old.

Although he had faded from the public eye during the 80's he was always a common name. I remember seeing him on videos and wondering why he did it. I'm sure there's a video out there somewhere of him explaining why.


R.I.P. Evel Knievel



Thursday, November 29, 2007

Bar Life..

I've said it many times over and it usually sticks true. In the smaller bars there is a "bar life" for bartenders. Especially if the bar has a more corporate feeling.

What I mean by this is that there is a turn over of employees every few years. A lot of owners and managers will do this to keep up with the neighborhood and to keep bringing in new clientèle. If you keep the same stagnant employees then the place never changes and never gets better. In the overall scheme of things it always comes down to the owners making money. Yea, it sucks for the employees but they're there to make the owners money. If your not doing that then you will be replaced. It won't be a hard thing to do either, there are always students and younger people looking to get into a bar to work.

So the process is slowly starting to happen. People have been slowly nit picked enough that they are starting to drop like flies. Some of them deserve it, others don't.

The typical bar life that I've noticed over time has been right around 5 years. Every 5 years or so there's new people at all my old haunts. This is where the management comes in. If they do their part right and keep up with the regulars they'll introduce them to the new kids. Regulars are good to have. Especially if they're the ones that make it good for the bartenders to be there. The ones that know how to tip and are usually never a problem.

If your a regular somewhere and never give more than a dollar tip then don't feel bad that you don't get introduced to the new kids. Your cheap and people shouldn't waste their time on you. Why do I say that? Because bartenders and waitresses don't make much more than 3 or 4 dollars an hour in the little bars. They make very little hourly and they rely on tips to make ends meet. So if your a cheap ass and don't tip for shit then they'll spend their time on someone else.

Sound crappy? Hey, give up the money you make now and start making $4 an hour. Let's see how you feel about people then.

Granted, in the bigger clubs where your paying $10 to $12 for a short jack an coke, maybe they make more per hour. I couldn't tell you if they do because I've never been one of them. If they don't make more than $4 an hour then they're making a lot more in tips because people in bigger clubs usually have the money to waste and there are a lot more people so the crappy tips add up faster.

What I will say. Give up at least $2 or more when you order a drink. If you open a tab then tip around 25 - 30%. These people are putting up with you all night. Your insults, your come ons, your drunkenness, your wandering hands and eyes. It's worth it in the long run so you don't get the "cheap ass" rep. That rep will keep with you for a long time. It'll also slow down their reaction time when you want another drink.

Remember, your just another face in the crowd. No matter what you look like it's how you treat the people serving you that matters. If you take care of them, they'll take care of you.

Good advice to take with you everywhere.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Taking it home...

When you live in an apartment building sometimes people decide to have parties. It's only a matter of time that the cops get called if you don't clear it with the rest of the building or at least the landlord. It's very rare that a big rave type of party happens in someones apartment.

"Yo man, 20 bucks man."

I stopped fumbling with my keys that were still in my pockets and looked up. In front of the doorway to my apartment building was a guy about 6'2" tall. He had a ball cap on turned sideways, an oversized white hoodie, baggie jeans, white shoes and a jean jacket. I stood there looking at him, "Excuse me?"

"Yo man, it's 20 bucks to get in dis party."

"Yea, that's great. I live here." I started up the stairs again.

"What? You din't hear me or somthin man?" His hand came up as to stop me. I grabbed his hand, bent it back towards his elbow and spun him around. Now his face was pushed up against the wall.

"I heard you fine. You must not have heard me. I live here."

About that time a few people came walking around the corner. I had a feeling these were friends of his fairly quickly and had an even bigger feeling that I was going to be hurting in the morning.

"Yo Ty! Hey man, let him go!" The two guys came running up and the girl was slowly making her way up. I started pushing up on Ty's hand making him stand taller and become even more uncomfortable.

After Ty gave out a little yell I said, "You guys stay back or I'm breaking his wrist." The guys slowed down and stood there staring at me.

"Yea, he gets paid to do that kind of stuff." The girl in the group came walking up. It was Janet, she lives down the hall and apparently is the one having the party.

I pat Ty on the shoulder and ask him if we're cool. When he agrees I slowly let the pressure off of his hand and arm. I go nice and slow so if he decides otherwise I can put him back in place.

Janet walked up to me, "I'm sorry Mike. This won't happen again."

"You can't have some guy out here charging. That's just dumb."

"I know, I know..."

"In fact, how bout you get up there and turn off this racket and get everyone out. I want to get some sleep."

"But people are finally showing up. It's an after hours party."

"Well, we can do it the fun way. But you'll probly get in trouble for it."

"Your not gonna call the cops are you?"

"I'll give you an hour, after that it's fair game."

Monday, November 26, 2007

Other side...

A lot of people don't see everything that a doorman does for a bar or club. They see the blank face that asks for an i.d. and they see the guy that's dragging someone out by their head. They see the side of a doorman that is in conflict or seriousness.

Very rarely do they see the doorman that is smacking the face of a guy that went from talking up a storm to limp dead body in a matter of seconds. The don't see the doorman trying to stop people from going into a bar while he is crouched over a drunk guy and trying to make sure he's still alive. In fact, most of the fucking idiots that are trying to get into the establishment don't even see the guy sprawled across the sidewalk.

The other part people don't see is when the staff member is trying to get a drunk friend of the industry home safely. People think a lot of things and when they see a doorman walking out with a drunk female they automatically think that something is going on. That the doorman is taking advantage of a situation. My best advice, think what you want to think but find out what's going on before you say you know what happened.

A lot of people don't have the respect that is needed to understand the amount of things security staff go through in a busy night. The amount of insults one can take before we have to become the assholes that most people see security staff as.

Listen man, I understand I did you one favor by letting you skip the line when you tipped me. That's why you tipped me. It doesn't mean that I have to do anything else for you. It also doesn't mean that you can stand there and call me or any other doorstaff an asshole because we won't buy you a shot. If you want a deal on your drinks than over tip the bartender. They'll notice and do what they want to do. Stand there and call me an asshole. Well, I'll become that asshole that your looking for. If you really upset me, I'll throw you on your ass in front of the entire line of people outside and throw your money into the street for anyone to take.

People overlook the one person that can make or break your night. It's completely true, any person doing security at an establishment can get rid of you at any time. I know it sounds very corrupt but it's true. If there's some reason that we don't want you in the establishment then we can get rid of you. If you put up too much of a struggle don't worry, there's about 5 to 6 more people that are willing to help out and get you out.

Now I'm not saying all this so people can go to their preferred club or bar and to pat the doorstaff on their backs for doing good deeds. I'm saying it so people can recognize what the doorstaff is for. We're here to make sure you and the people around you are having a good time and there are no bad instances. We get very bored and we are always on point looking out for the establishments best interest but your best interest is not our responsibility.

In fact, I'd suggest that you don't talk to the doorstaff. More than likely they don't want to talk to you. They've been at work and are sober while you've been out having a great time and are probably half drunk or more. No one wants to talk to drunk people when they're sober. Remember your Aunt Edith at the family get togethers? She was always the one sitting in the kitchen with a cigarette in one hand and a gin and tonic in the other. She always had bad breath and pinched your cheeks way too hard. Yea, that's what you are to a sober doorman.

Go to your preferred establishment, drink, have fun, and don't cause any incidents. Don't do anything that will draw the attention of the staff and everything will be fine. Don't worry, if your in trouble or you need a problem fixed, we are here to help you as long as it's not something illegal.

Security staff is there to look out for the best interest of the establishment and to help if there is a problem. We try to keep everyone safe and happy without being the assholes. We're only assholes if we really have to be.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Expired I.D. - Get a New I.D...

"Listen, I'm gonna let you in this time but not again. Get a new i.d."

"Man, I've just been real busy with stuff. We just opened a new club and I just moved here 4 months ago and..."

"And your i.d. expired 3 years ago. I know who you are. I know where you work. I don't care. Get a new i.d. or don't come here again."

"Does it really have to be like this?"

"Listen, last week you said you've been here for a year but you've been too busy. This time you've only been here 4 months. You should know the laws if your opening a club. No expired i.d.'s. Go get a new one."

"How bout I just don't come back?"

"That's fine with me too. How bout we start right now."

"Sure. I'll just go get my friends and we'll leave."

"Not with that i.d., it's expired. I can't let you in. Hope you got their numbers in your phone."

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thanksgiving...

A day for thanks.

Thanks for everyone that keeps coming back for another round. Whether they come back for another round of drinks or another day around the clock. Give thanks to who ever you give thanks to.

Hopefully your families haven't drawn you closer to that insanity plea.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Shlepper...

This type of work is really more for the person that can let things slide. You have to be able to take all the bad with the good. This goes for more than just the typical dealings.

"I don't know why Chucky let's Jack hang out after hours. I feel like he's stalking me."

"Stalking you?"

Cathy is a really good woman. She's a great looking girl and has a great head on her shoulders. Sometimes she's just too sweet and a little naive, even though she knows what's going on.

"Yea, when he found out I was single he started leaving me gifts."

"You gave them back right?"

"Well, I didn't want to be rude."

"I suggest you give them back or start refusing the gifts."

"Can't we just stop him from staying after hours?"

"Listen, I'll get rid of him tonight but you need to voice your opinion. He provides a service for certain employees so they want to play nice with him."

"Like what?"

"Let's just say they like his coca-cola."

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Two Faced...

"Man I'm tellin ya, she's really into me."

Mark is a new kid to the circuit. He's around 24 years old and he's excited to get into the industry. Even if he has to start out doing security before he can get behind the bar. He's young, new to town and he's very naive. He's a work in progress and he's trying to keep up with everything that's going on both at work and in his personal life.

"Time will tell."

"No seriously man, we had a great time the other night."

"Just don't jump because she says to."

"What you mean?"

"Listen, you now work at a place that a lot of people want to get into. They'll become your best friend in order to do that. Don't get your hopes up and go with it."

"Really?"

"Yea. Ask her what she wants. If it's just you then she won't mind waiting in line until thats proven. If she gets all pissy about waiting then she just wants in. Your gonna have to build up your shell. Your new and people know that."

"You really think she's just gonna use me?"

"That's what they all do, guys or girls. So they'll get all nice until they get what they want."

"That's fucked up."

"Welcome to paranoia. Soon you'll start wondering why strangers talk to you in the grocery store."

Monday, November 19, 2007

Back Drop...

I've been getting a little attention lately. In some ways it's nice. In other ways it's not so nice. It's great to know that people are taking the 3 or 5 minutes to actually go through my ramblings and take notice. It's not so great to know that some people want to know more about me. Well, I'll tell ya. I'm nothing special.

I have a code of ethics that I live by. It's a hard one to explain and on a daily basis most people think it changes. In my mind it's always the same, it just depends on the mindset I'm in.

I'm not a very religious person but I do tend to believe in Karma. I do believe that if you do enough bad things that something is going to come back and bite you in the ass. It'll bite hard. I figure that if you do enough good things then you'll stay the same. Life is what you make of it and if you believe enough in yourself then it will become what you want it to become.

If I were to put myself in some kind of religion I guess it would be a mix of Satanism and Buddhism. Don't mess with me and I might save your ass some day. Mess with me and you'll never get a helping hand. I know, it's a weird mixture but it seems to be the closest thing I can think of.

I've gone through times of meditation and I've had my times of pain and hatred. Through the meditations I've been able to control the anger and the wantings of angry physical contact. I can honestly say that I've never thrown a punch in the years of working security at bars and clubs. I can't say that I've never thrown someone into a wall or table. It just seems to be a better option than to give them a reason to want to hit me. My face is no where near being pretty but there's no reason to make it any uglier.

I also believe that everything happens for a reason. I got into this business because I was enraged with life and I wanted to get back at it. So I went into a line of business that could afford me the ability to control my surroundings and the people that were guests inside it. Those days are gone now and it's only a matter of time before I move on.

I'm a man of necessity these days. I live mainly for the things that I need or want. Right now there isn't much that I need or want but there are things that people and organizations want from me. To appease these giants I might have to move on fairly quickly. Then I get to become a part timer again in the world of the night life. This will inevitably knock my status down but it will bring my life quality back up. Maybe even back up to the normal level.

So I hope that this kind of sheds a little more light on me. I hope it also appeases the gods.