Monday, November 19, 2007

Back Drop...

I've been getting a little attention lately. In some ways it's nice. In other ways it's not so nice. It's great to know that people are taking the 3 or 5 minutes to actually go through my ramblings and take notice. It's not so great to know that some people want to know more about me. Well, I'll tell ya. I'm nothing special.

I have a code of ethics that I live by. It's a hard one to explain and on a daily basis most people think it changes. In my mind it's always the same, it just depends on the mindset I'm in.

I'm not a very religious person but I do tend to believe in Karma. I do believe that if you do enough bad things that something is going to come back and bite you in the ass. It'll bite hard. I figure that if you do enough good things then you'll stay the same. Life is what you make of it and if you believe enough in yourself then it will become what you want it to become.

If I were to put myself in some kind of religion I guess it would be a mix of Satanism and Buddhism. Don't mess with me and I might save your ass some day. Mess with me and you'll never get a helping hand. I know, it's a weird mixture but it seems to be the closest thing I can think of.

I've gone through times of meditation and I've had my times of pain and hatred. Through the meditations I've been able to control the anger and the wantings of angry physical contact. I can honestly say that I've never thrown a punch in the years of working security at bars and clubs. I can't say that I've never thrown someone into a wall or table. It just seems to be a better option than to give them a reason to want to hit me. My face is no where near being pretty but there's no reason to make it any uglier.

I also believe that everything happens for a reason. I got into this business because I was enraged with life and I wanted to get back at it. So I went into a line of business that could afford me the ability to control my surroundings and the people that were guests inside it. Those days are gone now and it's only a matter of time before I move on.

I'm a man of necessity these days. I live mainly for the things that I need or want. Right now there isn't much that I need or want but there are things that people and organizations want from me. To appease these giants I might have to move on fairly quickly. Then I get to become a part timer again in the world of the night life. This will inevitably knock my status down but it will bring my life quality back up. Maybe even back up to the normal level.

So I hope that this kind of sheds a little more light on me. I hope it also appeases the gods.

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