Click or Clique?...

There are cliques of people everywhere. They all seem to have their own little agenda and their own little ways of excluding people. In some ways everyone is a part of their own little clique.

It's funny how in some aspects of the nightlife there are a lot of cliques. Certain groups of people hang out at certain bars or clubs. The yuppies stay in their comfort zones and the drunks go to just about any place that serves booze and will let them in.

Then there's the people that don't drink but still work in these environments. There could be numerous reasons why they're there. Maybe they're reformed alcoholics and the best way for them to stay sober is to see people become idiots after drinking. Maybe they choose not to drink but just want to be around it.

Some of these people will usually never be in any of the cliques that are intertwined with the drinkers that they work with.

I've been working security in many different places over the past 10 - 12 years. As long as I'm on the clock, I don't drink. I take my job seriously. Some might say I take it too seriously but I know how I can get after drinking. I just don't want that darker side coming out while I'm at work.

So at the end of the night, while the barstaff is already toasted from drinking through their shift, I'm fully sober and a little aggravated at times. At this point I usually just grab my gear and head home.

During this time there are plans made. Bartenders talk with bartenders and make plans to do numerous different things. If anyone else is around to hear it, they might invite them as well.

One night I decided to hang out a little while. The bartenders were sitting around counting money and the new girl, Rachael, was hanging out with them making conversation. During their conversation a plan was being hatched by the bartenders to meet up on a day and go to dinner. Rachael, sitting with them, asked if she could go to. The bartenders went silent for a minute. They said it was a weekly thing they do and if she wanted to come it would be cool.

Rachael then looked over to me as I was walking past, "Hey Mike! Will you be there too?"

I stopped next to the table, "Be where?"

"Everyone's going to dinner tomorrow. You going too?" Rachael's eyes were glowing as if she was just invited to the most magical night of her life. Kind of pathetic really.

"I doubt it. I don't go where I'm not invited."

Now that might have been a bad way to answer if I didn't already know that they go there on the same day every week. Or if I didn't know that they've been doing it for six months or more. Or if they had invited me before.

The event had come up in conversation before with certain people. Other people have never brought it up, even avoiding it.

You see, that's the cliquey thing. Drinkers vs. Non-Drinkers. Serious vs. Not So Serious.

It's an observation, not a complaint.

Everything is probably better off this way.

The Incoherent Mind...

I don't understand a lot of people. I guess that's just how I work. I see things, a lot of things. It's what I do. I watch and talk to a lot of people. I see the things they do and I notice a lot about people. I paste the events together and I get to see a lot of the darker side of them. I see a lot of the bad and not a lot of the good. I also see a few people in the opposite way and even fewer in both.

A friend of mine just went through a rough time. She had to kick her boyfriend out of their apartment. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later and I'm glad it did. He was a slacker and very much still a 12 year old.

He would come into the establishment on some of her nights. He would complain if she didn't pay enough attention to him. He would follow her from table to table as she waitressed and hang on her. He even dry humped her as she was trying to take orders on occasion. I tried to talk to her about it but she was overcome by the attention and was actually happy about it.

As time went on he got worse. His drinking got heavier and he became even more childish with every drink. Next thing you know he's taking his shirt off and acting like a monkey.

One night I pulled him out and around the side of the establishment. I had flashbacks of my father as I had one hand on his shoulder and my right index finger about a half an inch away from his eyeball.

"Listen to me. Quit fucking up in here."

"What? I'm just having a good time, people are laughing."

"I don't give a fuck who's laughing and who's trying to have a good time. I'm telling you to straighten the fuck up."

"Mike... listen man, we're just having a good time.."

At this point I squeezed his shoulder and dug my thumb in to hit the pressure point right in the area of where his shoulder meets his neck.

"Good time? At who's expense??" He started to talk and I squeezed that pressure point more and his knees started to buckle. "Listen to me now. Shut your fuckin mouth and listen. You take your shirt off one more time, you follow her around all night, or even think about dry humping her in front of customers and your ass will be out here faster than you've ever imagined it could be. You've only been allowed to slide this far because of her. Your sliding days are over. I don't give a shit who you are anymore. Now your just another piece of shit."

"But she likes the attention... she said it makes her feel better when I'm here..."

"You really fuckin believe that by degrading her it's a good thing? Are you fuckin stupid? I don't care what she says. Do that shit at home, don't ever do it here again. I'll lay your ass down on this sidewalk."

A month or two later I found out that he wasn't paying his bills or his part of the rent. I didn't hear it from Maria, I heard it from other staff members. I guess after I treated her boyfriend like a 6 year old she didn't want to talk to me about him anymore. She was afraid I might have another talk with him on a more serious matter, so I waited.

A couple more months went by and I heard about it again. He still wasn't paying his bills or his half of the rent. He works in the industry as well and he works at a fairly busy place. I kept wondering why he couldn't pay his share. It started to bother me even more when I kept hearing Maria say she couldn't do certain things because she was juggling bills. I've known Maria for a few years now and she never once had a problem with bills and such. I could also tell when she was upset.

One night her boyfriend came walking up with a few co-workers. He was all smiles as they walked up. I said hello to most of the co-workers and then it was his turn to walk in. He put his hand out for me to shake. I took a good look at him and said, "You need to make sure you scrub your face after work." Either he didn't hear me or he didn't care, under his nose was a white powdery substance.

That's when a lot more things started to come to light. I always figured he was either hyper active or a coke head but now I knew for sure. The little bastard wasn't paying his bills because he was snorting it all away.

As time went on he'd be quiet and every once in a while I'd have to set him off to the side. Information on what was going on was becoming more scarce as Maria quit talking to certain people. As information became less available I had to start interpreting things.

Maria started to become more lax at work. She was never a drinker or a drug user the whole time I've known her. Now all of a sudden she was drinking more and she was even smoking weed. It started to draw even more attention to her. I tried to talk to her about it and her answer usually entailed trying to fit in with her boyfriend and his friends. This just blew my mind. I can fully understand doing new things to fit in with your significant other. I can't understand drinking or doing drugs to fit in. To me that's just a sign of a weakness.

Finally a night came when there was a foul smell in the air. With the smoking ban it's very easy to smell cigarettes or any other funky smelling fumes. Low and behold, in the back of the establishment at one of the tables, the boy had a one hitter and was smoking weed. He was automatically ejected from the establishment. When I asked why I was told that Maria asked Casper not to tell me why. I told Casper to tell me because I'd find out anyways.

The next night he came by and I pulled him to the side again. He tried to apologize and I interrupted.

"Shut up. I don't ever want to hear the words I'm sorry come out of your mouth again. You wouldn't be doing this shit if you were. Don't you understand that when you fuck up in here, you don't just make you look bad, you make Maria look bad too?"

"But.. what?"

"Your her fuckin boyfriend. Your the one she chooses to be with and you make her look like a fuckin idiot for being with you. Your actions make people think less of her."

"No.. listen man, I was really fucked up that night..."

"Is that your fuckin excuse for not paying your bills? Is it your excuse for walking up here with coke all over your face? For taking your clothes off? For being a fuckin dirtbag? You know you can't be smoking weed in here. You know you can't be fuckin around. This is the last time I'm talking to you about any of this."

"Ok, ok... can I go inside?"

He went inside and ten minutes later he and Maria are outside arguing for a few minutes and he left. Maria didn't talk to me for a few days after that. Paulie and I had several talks about him and about how the next time would be the last time we'd put up with his bullshit. Boyfriend or not some one has to draw a line and since this is a work place we were ready to do that.

A few weeks later another incident occurred. This time it involved a regular punching the boy. Seems he was trying to push the regulars buttons and pushed it well enough that the regular pushed back, with his fist. The boy was removed and told not to come back.

Maria seemed much happier at work after that. She even started smiling and laughing more than she had been in the past month or two. Next thing you know, she's telling me about how she's kicking the boy out of the apartment and that they're broken up. I told her that it was the right thing to do and if she needed any help dealing with him to let me know.

She told me about the money he owed her. I told her to keep certain things of his until he paid up or to just keep enough of his things to kind of settle the debt. Conveniently he doesn't own anything of value.

Hopefully he starts paying back some of this money he owes her. Then again, I wouldn't mind having another talk with him. Maybe drive a few more points home and instill them into his head.

Time and Place...

As the saying goes... "There's a time and place for everything." It's basically the same as saying, "Know when to pick your battles." There's not always a perfect time to pick an argument with someone, especially when it's on a personal level, but there is always a better place.

A lot of this depends on the type of person you are too. If your the type of person that has to make a big deal out of nothing then you don't think about this. You want to cause a scene where ever you are just so people can notice you. You want people to think you are being put down or held back. You want the attention to be towards you even if it's bad. "All publicity, whether good or bad is still publicity."

These people are the type of people that will constantly keep the drama going just so they can be in the middle of conversations as long as they can. They love the drama, they love the attention and if they don't have it they might have to be real.

So when one of these people makes an employee feel uncomfortable or the employee just doesn't want them at the establishment then we don't let them in. It's a pretty standard way of doing things. If your uncomfortable with someone then that person doesn't come in. It doesn't matter if your a guy or girl all you have to be is an employee or a good friend of an employee. If there's a possibility of fireworks going off then we make sure it doesn't happen.

The only time it's different is if it happens to be a significant other.

Then the policy changes a little. Then the policy is still basic, the person that isn't wanted there doesn't come in when the person that is involved with the conflict is working. Pretty basic yet to the people that are over dramatic it's too much for them to handle. They still walk up, they still try to come in the bar. Listen, keep acting like an asshole and you'll get banned even if your significant other works there.

Now when you have an altercation with a doorman that works at the same place your girl does don't get in his face at his job. That's like giving candy to a baby. It's our job to keep idiots out. If your picking a fight with us at the door we're not going to let you in. At this point we don't care who you know inside. Personally, I don't care if your the owner because I've kicked you out of the bar before and the next day you called me to apologize.

So if you don't want the drama to continue like you've said then apologize and act civil. Shit, you don't even have to apologize just act civil while your there. Don't mumble under your breath, don't roll your eyes, don't look at me all disgruntled. Go in, have a few drinks and see if that builds up your courage. Then if you feel like getting all riled up we'll see what happens. You'll be wasted, the doorman will be sober and someone will look like an idiot.

I hate saying this like this but, "Take yo drama to yo momma. Leave that shit at home."