Contemplations....

At a certain point any job gets to be painful. You wonder how much longer you can do it. You think about what else you could be doing. You just plainly get tired of doing the same thing over and over. How many times do you have to tell the same people the same things. This job is like that.

The only way to really keep the job fresh is to either change jobs or change venues. It does tend to prove difficult when your the head man. The pay is good and there aren't many venues that will match your pay. After all, you become the new guy all over again. No venue wants to pay the new guy close to what the head man makes.

So every night becomes a repetitive cycle. You go through the checklist before leaving for work. Vest. check. Flashlight. check. Phone. check. Keys. check. Tazer... I wish.

Then you get to work. You do a quick walk through and take inventory of the people already there. Get a good visual and check any suspicious people for i.d.'s or anything else.

Then the night begins. Standing at post and reminding the same people through out the night to step down the sidewalk to enjoy their cigarettes. That they can't take their drinks outside. To keep the noise down because our neighbors are trying to sleep.

Then refusing entrance to inebriated people that walk up. Explaining that they were stumbling around or just too drunk to come in. Expecting a fight or argument with every refusal.

On some nights I'm the angry father figure. I have to remind kids that banging beer bottles on top of each other is something they can do at home and not here. Telling them to keep the noise down and to quit annoying me.

Most nights I get an offering or two. Either monetarily or physical. Money I will accept. Why? Because no matter how much you give me, I'll still throw you out within minutes if you need to be. Physical offerings normally go in one ear and out the other. Your wasted and I'm sober, it's just not a good idea on my part.

Then comes the end of the night. The lights are on, the music is off and I'm yelling for you to leave. Your looking at me like I'm being rude for interrupting your conversation. I'm looking at you like an asshole because your not leaving yet. Believe it or not, I want to leave because I have to be here the following night and do it all over again. Soberly.

Finally get all the people out and all the duties are done. The waitresses are put into cabs or cars and everything is done for the night. Then the walk to my car through the alley and down the streets. Morning is here and it's time for bed.

I like to think that tomorrow is a different day. In reality it's about the same as all the rest. It changes occasionally but not enough. It's usually the same people at the same times. Which isn't always bad. It's good to see familiar faces but those faces are usually wasted every time they're seen.

I've been wondering a lot lately. What it would be like to have that office job again. It'd probably be just as boring after a time. I've always had that travel bug but it's never bitten hard enough.

Change would be nice. Either in job terms or positions.