ID?.....

"Really, you don't need my ID. I'm 43 years old, you don't need it."

"Miss, I need everyone's ID that looks under 25."

"Oh, don't give me that crap." Her eyes roll and she tries to walk past me into the bar.

"Ok... fine. I won't give you that crap. Show me an ID or get out. Plain and simple."

"Well, is.."

"It doesn't matter who's working. Show me an ID."

"You don't have to be such an ass."

"Neither did you. ID."

"I never get carded anywhere else, and I come here all the time," she says as she starts to go through her purse.

"Really? I have no idea who you are."

The woman looked through her purse and finally found her ID. After looking at the ID I did recognize her from coming in on the weekends. ID pictures never change, women change daily.

"Here ya go."

"Gee, thanks, am I old enough?"

"Actually, your not as old as you said. You won't be 43 for about 4 more months."

With that she walked away.

Don't worry lady, I'll remember you. I'll also remember to card you every time you come to the door.

No ones ever really a pain in my ass, but I can be a pain in yours.

The part that most people don't understand about this is plain to me.

According to Sector whatever, Paragraph who knows, Article ???.....

Every person inside a bar has to have an ID. If they don't the establishment can and will be closed down and fined.

It's not normally something to worry too much about but there was a bar shut down for it about a month ago. That stuff sticks in my head.

That's him I swear...

"Listen, I understand you have my friends ID."

"Yes I do."

"Ok, I'm here to get that back. I swear that's him on that ID."

"Where's he at?"

Usually, when you get your ID taken from you at a bar from the door person you put up some kind of an argument. I mean, if you don't then you have to take time out of your day to go and get another one and pay for it. If it's really you then put up a logical argument and show other forms of ID to prove who you are. The worst thing to do is just drop your head and walk out.

"He asked me to come and get it back for him."

"Why isn't he here? Your not getting anything from me because this isn't yours at all. If he wants to come back with other forms of ID to prove who he is, then if it's solid he'll get it back."

"Listen, I'm a lawyer, I know you did this just because he's black. I know that.."

"Really, you think it's a racist thing? That's funny, I see about five or six black guys in here, oh wait, look.. there's some asians... uh, some middle easterners... I really don't think you want to go down that road. Besides, if your a lawyer you must know the repercussions for bringing an underage person into a bar."

"Ok, I just want to get my friends ID back for him. I want to talk to your manager."

"That's fine with me."

I get Phil's attention and the guy rattles off his speil to him. Phil tells him the same thing I did, "Tell your friend to come back with proof and we'll gladly give it back to him."

"Mike, why'd you take the ID?"

"To start off, the guy on the ID has had to have his nose broken a few times. That guy had a straight nose. Second, the ID says he's 6'2", that guy was about 5'6". Then when I told him it wasn't him on the ID he just turned and walked out. No argument."

"Good enough for me." Phil turned back to the older guy, "Tell your friend to come back with proof and we'll give it back. Otherwise, the state's gonna get it in a couple days."

The guy stormed off and I stepped outside to see where he was heading. Looked like the group tried to go into another bar down the street and the same guy got stopped by the door guys there.

There was a cop standing there too. Hopefully, the door guys there didn't let him in and he got caught inside. That'd be a nice big fine and closing.

The ever entering woman...

"What's your name man?"

"Mike."

"Well Mike, I realize it's your job to keep the underage out of the bars. Your doing a great job but Ally needs her ID because she drives constantly for work."

"I guess Ally should have thought about that before giving it to that girl then huh?"

"Listen, she just needs it back, she was trying to help out her sister and..."

"I have two options for you at this point. Option one, I get a squad car to come over here, explain to them what's going on and let them decide, because it's only a federal offense or, option two. You guys just leave."

"Man, come on. I'm a bouncer too, can't you just do one exception?"

"Your telling me your a bouncer at a club and you still bring an underage to the bar? Are you stupid? Where you work?"

"Nevermind man, that's not important."

"Of course not. Get outta here. Now I'm going to walk outside and you guys are going to leave. If not I'll gladly grab the first squad I see."

Throughout the night I probably turn away five to ten people on a slow night. It could be for just about any reason but it's usually because of fake IDs or they're already too drunk to come in. Each ID taken is a story all it's own.

A few nights ago I had a couple come in and I checked their IDs and all was well. Then about 15 minutes later I went outside the door with Frank to have a smoke and bullshit a little while it was slow. A girl came up and gave me her ID and I took a couple looks at it thinking it looked familiar.

Since it's early many people will walk in and see that it's not that busy and leave. If I don't see you leave then I card you again when you come back or if you've been gone for awhile. That's why I took a second look at the ID. I didn't remember this girl leaving.

So I asked Phil to watch the door as I went over to where the girl had walked to. As I walked over I noticed that all of a sudden there were two of them there. So first thought in my mind was that they were twins. The girls did look a lot alike but I only remembered the IDs by the name on them.

"Hello ladies. I need to see both your IDs again."

The first girl pulled out her ID and gave it to me. I looked at it and her and waited for the other girl to get hers. She was very hesitant. The first girl reached for her ID and I raised my index finger for her to wait. The second girl handed me her ID and I compared the IDs. Exact matches.

"Ladies. I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you have to leave now and your not getting these back. The good news is you get to go home early."

Without a single word they turned and walked out the door. I had expected to at least hear some kind of an argument.

I explained what was going on to Phil and left it at that.

People don't realize what kind of trouble they can get into letting others 'borrow' their IDs. Just for letting your younger brother or sister use your ID you could be looking at a year in jail and a
fine close to a few grand.

Doesn't really seem like much until you get busted for it.

"They don't card me in New York..."

"This is rediculous. I forgot my ID at the apartment. They don't card me in New York."

"No ID, no entry. Sorry, go back and get it and it's all good."

"Forget this, let's just go somewhere else. I never get carded back home."

Now that has to be one of the smartest reasons to not carry your ID. I mean if they don't card you back home in New York obviously we shouldn't card you here where no one knows who you are. Then again this kind of reasoning also lands under, "But I drove an hour and a half to see this band. Can't you make one exception?"

Either he really forgot his ID or he's underage and making a big deal out of nothing. Either way it's not my problem. Get your head out of your ass and carry your ID. Especially when traveling you should have your ID. At least the cops like you to if they need to talk to you, or you need to get into a bar.

From what I have been told the midwest is more strict on carding people at bars than the east or west coast. Personally, I wouldn't know. I haven't been to either side since I've been going to bars. Carrying my ID on me is a habit though.

Then out of the mouth of his date.

"I can't believe you don't have your ID. What, you don't get carded anywhere?"

"Not back home."

"Well duh, your not back home stupid. Now we gotta go back to the apartment and...."

Sometimes it's nice to have someone else there to say things for you.