Friday, August 17, 2007

Fake I.D. I...

"Look, I swear I'll never come here again."

"Oh, I know. Have a good night."

There's a lot of fake i.d.'s out in the world. If your job consists of checking i.d.'s then you've seen a lot of the obvious ones. Certain holograms give it away, certain dates, even certain types of pictures. When you see these your encouraged by the police and the state to take them away from the person. Actually, your encouraged to take away the fake one and to get their real one as well. That way the state can prosecute them, fine them or even give them public service work or jail time. This all depends on the person and the person on the fake i.d..

"What if I gave you $20?"

"Add another zero onto that honey and we'll have a deal."

"What!? $200!? I don't have that!"

"Then I'll just hold on to this. Have a good night."

It's very rare that I ever give back an i.d. It causes some drama from time to time but it also helps spread the word that underage kids shouldn't even try to come to the bar. A little stress for a bigger pay off is ok in my books.

What these kids don't understand is how big of a deal I take it to be. Once in a while some cops will walk through the bar. They'll check the place out and see how busy it is and they might card a person or two. If they happen to card someone that is underage then the establishment gets shut down for a long time and there's a hefty fine that has to be paid. During the time that the bar is shut down I'm out of a job. Which means my rent doesn't get paid and my bills become overdue. Not only that, this happens to everyone that works there as well.

Thirty people that work in a club don't want to be out of work for a month. So I tend to take it a little more seriously since I'm the one that cards people at the door and no one else does after they get inside.

"Listen, I'm here on vacation and they won't let me back on the plane if I don't have my i.d."

"So your telling me that your...." looking at the i.d., "28 years old and you don't have another thing in that huge purse with your name on it?"

She opens her purse and wallet and I see credit cards. "No, I don't have anything else. I didn't bring it cause I didn't want it to get stolen."

"Yea... sorry hun. What about those credit cards? They got your name on them?"

Then she starts crying, "Please, they won't let me back on the plane if I don't have my i.d."

"I tell ya what. Go back to where ever your staying, get your airline tickets, bring it here and then I'll give this back to you and you can go. Until you show me something, I'm keeping this."

I know, I'm a complete prick. I'm an asshole. Realize this though. If you were on vacation and your 28 years old wouldn't you have a check card, debit card, or credit card with you? Let's say this particular girl did. I would have given the i.d. back to her but I wouldn't have let her in the bar. She looked nothing like the picture on the i.d. and she wasn't even tall enough to match. If your close to 6 foot tall don't get a fake that says your 5'4". Common sense people.

So the girl walks to the end of the block and her friends go with her. Ten minutes later one of her friends comes back to me.

"Hey man, can I get my friends i.d. back if I give you $50? I swear she won't ever come back here. She just got it a few days ago."

Sometimes it just feels good to be proven right.

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