Saturday, July 19, 2008

Bum Da Dee Bum Bum....

"You let that guy in here?" TD was not happy. "The fuck's your problem man!? You know he's a bum."

It was a fairly slow night and the bands weren't pulling many people. I was sitting at the front door reading a magazine. Without raising my eyes from the article I said, "Hey, he had money for the cover and an i.d. I figure we give him 5 minutes and then toss him out."

TD's eyes got big, "Yea, you go with that. Hope you don't get Hepatitis when he tries to bite you."

"I'm not too worried about it."

"Yea... You will be after he bites you."

A few minutes later the manager came walking up to the door. He looked at TD and asked "You let that guy in here?" TD just points at me.

"Mike, you wanna get rid of your little friend you let in?"

I put down the paper and jump up, "Sure thing. Just so you know, he did pay to come in."

"I don't care, he fuckin stinks."

I grab the 6D cell flashlight and start off into the venue. After walking through the minimal crowd I found the bum in the bathroom. He was standing there staring at himself in the mirror. "Alright man, you gotta head out."

"Wha?"

"You gotta leave. We got complaints about you."

"Man. I haven't been here no 5 minutes. You tellin me I gots to leave now?"

"That's what I said."

"Man, fuck you."

"Listen man, it's not up to you or me. I was told to get you out of here."

"Make me."

I stepped closer and grabbed his arm. He grabbed my arm with his other hand and I raised the 6D cell flashlight up over my shoulder in a striking position. He stood there staring at me and I never changed my facial expression.

"I'll tell you right now. I'll club you over the head enough times that it's gonna hurt a lot."

"You ain't gonna do shit." He then started to pull on my arm. I took the skinny end of the flashlight and jabbed him in the stomach with it. Then he let out a loud scream and fell down. The bathroom door opened and TD was standing there. "Need some help?"

"Just hold the door for me." I reached down and grabbed the bum by the ankles and started pulling. I dragged him out of the bathroom and over to the back door. As I got him almost out of the door he grabbed onto the sides of the doorway. He started screaming more and wouldn't let go. Until TD walked up.

TD let out two quick kicks and kicked both of the bums hands. After that he let go and I dragged him the rest of the way out. The bum kept holding his hands and I walked back inside.

After that the night was very quiet but we had something to talk about. TD kept asking me if the bum had bit me. I assured him that he hadn't. "You better go get tested man. You never know, he might of given you somethin."

"Man, I'm fine."

"Them bums man, they'll get you. They don't even have to touch you to give you something."

A couple days later we saw the bum walking by again. Both of his hands were bandaged. I was thinking that TD might have hurt him more than we thought. We didn't really care though.

"You must of hurt his hands pretty good."

"Man, fuck that guy. He wouldn't let go of the door."

"You might want to get tested man. I hear those bums can give you stuff without even touching them." TD turns and looks at me. "You kicked his hands. Just think if he bled on your shoes."


TD made an appointment to get tested the next day.

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