Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Dog Butts...

I've heard people say that there's a fine line between a drunk and an alcoholic.

I guess if you consider that a drunk doesn't necessarily need to drink there could be that fine line. Most alcoholics that I've known have to have those 6 or 8 beers a day. So there is a difference between the two but most drunks act the same way alkies do when they don't get their booze. Angry.

It's even worse when it's a relative or a fellow employee.

The bar industry is a perfect place for drunks. They like to drink so why not give them a job where they get to do what they like?

Too many times employees get to hang out after hours on nights they don't even work. They stick around and try to stick their nose up everyone's ass trying to be funny and cool. They get on my nerves but they seem to be cute and outgoing to all the other ass sniffers.

Which on a totally different level reminds me of a story my father told me when, as a child, I asked, "Dad, why do dogs always smell other dogs buts?"

The story goes like this..

One day all the dogs and cats in the world gathered together in a great hall. They were meeting together to devise a way to take over the world. They knew the meeting would take a long time so when they all arrived they hung up their assholes at the door. Kind of like we hang our coats in the closet. This way none of them would have to get up to use the bathroom.

As all the dogs and cats arrived the closets were filling up with assholes. In the middle of the meeting a little bird flew in through the window and landed on the fire alarm. All the dogs and cats jumped up and started to run around. They were scared because the fire alarm was going off and they wanted to get out of the building. So they all ran to the door way and instead of taking their time to find their own asshole they just grabbed one on their way out.

So even now they're constantly sniffing each others asses to see if they can find their own asshole or an asshole that could be family.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Matt McGinn Scottish Genius

Mike D, the doorguy said...

I googled him and it seems he did have a folk song that's the same as the story I heard.

Never heard of him before this though. I'll have to check him out.