At times you just wonder if now is the time. "All signs point to yes."

Friday night. Full moon. Heavy traffic. Should be an interesting night for douches.

Overhearing a plan for a very heavyset lady to flash the room. Not stopping it but instructing staff to make puking sounds when she does. Fun times!

Always interesting when the manager likes coca-cola. By interesting I mean annoying as fuck.

I'm not your 'bra'. I'll probably never be your support in any situation. Certain ladies.. Maybe.

Tonight's theme: #Pantera - War Nerve.

Overheard: "I don't want to go drinking. I just wanna go home & watch the last episode of Lost."

Realized that if I did my job perfectly, there'd only be a handful of people in here on a normal basis.

Hey Mr Policeman. I didn't ask to see your badge. I asked to see your id. I don't care if your a cop in a different city.

When I see people with shirt & shorts 2x too big, skull cap & beady eyes I wonder how long they were in prison. Or if that's where they want to go.

"I'm European.."
"I don't care. The drink stays inside Frenchy."

If you don't know what to drink, ask your server. More than likely they're enough of a drunk they'll know exactly what you want.

Saturday night. A night for amatuers.

After a savage winter, all the bums, minors and tough guys are coming back out in force.

"I'm one of those guys, I don't carry id."
"Well, your one of those guys that doesn't get in."

Mobile Posts...

Recently Blogger has added Mobile Posting to the list of ways for bloggers to reach their readers. I thought I'd give it a shot. The posts are limited to 150 characters so they'll be short and sweet, just like most conversations I have while at work.

I'm not on here as much as I'd like to be but I think this will help out a lot. Most thoughts pop in my head and disappear by the time I get here. I guess we'll just have to see where this takes me.

-Be Safe.

Testing... 1... 2.. Testing. Mobile posting operational?

Confiscated ID: ...

I received this email recently.

Hey Mike -

Big fan of the blog. My younger brother recently took my real 21+ ID from me to get into a bar. He was stopped at the door and my license was confiscated by the doorman. Besides being super pissed at my brother, I now have no drivers license. Before I ask the state for a new one, is there any hope in retrieving my license by contacting the bar? What is proper doorman etiquette on this one? What happens to a confiscated real ID? Are there some shady folk out there that take this opportunity to sell the confiscated license?

I appreciate the doorman doing his job but now I'm just trying to get my ID back...

Thanks for your help...

- Rob

Rob.. your best bet is to just go get a new license. I'm sure it's a much smaller fee than to go through the conversation with a doorman. Especially when he has every right to take the id away from your underage brother. If your conversation goes the way most of the ones I've had, you'll get pissed and words will fly. If you feel really strong you might take a swing and then get taken down by the doorman.

What people tend to forget is that a license isn't your personal property. It belongs to the State that issues it and has to be handed over upon request. So the excuse that a person owns a license is not a good argument.

Between all the different places I've worked there's only been a couple different ways to handle ids that are fake or not the owner.

1. Turn over the id to the state that the business is in. Then it's up to the State to decide if they want to prosecute. Yes, if it's a real id then the person on the id gets prosecuted not the one handing it over. Unless the doorman was able to get their id as well, then both of you get prosecuted.
2. The ids are destroyed. They get cut up into tiny pieces and thrown away at the end of the night.
3. The id gets added to a "Wall of Shame". It's usually a display case near the door that has all the confiscated ids.
   

Personally, I destroy the ids whether they're real or fake. I don't want to go to court any more than some kid needs a Felony on his record before his life even begins. I'm not out to ruin lives. I'm just here to keep the business safe.

Rob, if I were you.. I'd do the same thing to your brother that my brothers did me. Kick his ass until he learns right from wrong. Words don't sink in but a firm smack tends to leave a memory. And make him pay for your new id.

I can't say there aren't any shady doormen out there. I've known a few and I'm no where near being perfect. When doorstaff aren't paid well enough they tend to find other ways to make money.

So it's a gambit. Your id might have been destroyed or it might have been sold or given to another person that looks like you. You can now thank your brother for making you think about all the different bad things that could happen due to it.

If your really paranoid about it then sign up for a credit watch program and hope that your social security number wasn't on the id. If it was, you might be looking at a lot worse things.

Be safe.

Popularity..

Even though I haven't been around as much as I like, the blog seems to still be drawing popularity. I've gotten a few comments from people trying to spam the blogosphere. At least one of them was on target with it's subject matter.

My last post was about smoking and how a certain person was constantly mooching cigarettes off of me. So of course, the comment left was about an electronic cigarette. Sadly, I'm not going to publish any comments left behind that have links to personal money making sites. Granted, that's what life is about but give me a cut and I'll cut you in. Or send me the product and I'll review it here for you.

So... Shadd Williams. Get in contact with me, send me your product free of charge and I'll review it.

All the rest of you. You have to take people as idiots if you think you can sell a warranty on a car over 20 years old that has transferred owners over 10 times. Then again.. there are a lot of idiots in this world.

1 cigarette, 1 dollar...

On most any slow night I'll stand outside and smoke a cigarette. Let's not get into the debate about how bad it is for me. If it weighed that heavy on my mind I might go to a gym once in a while. Since I don't own a gym membership there's no need to even bring it up.

Usually there's at least one or two people that always stop and ask if they can bum a smoke or better yet, "borrow" a cigarette. The second question is funny to me and if I'm in a good mood I'll go along with "Uh.. how do you plan on borrowing a cigarette? I don't want it back after your done with it."

99% of the time my answer is, "No." There was a time when I received cigarettes very cheap. Almost to the point that I never paid for them. This helped out a lot considering the price of a pack these days. Even now I'm trying to talk a relative into sending me some in the mail just because they're cheaper there than here.

Now, there's two things that you can do that will piss me off. That I actually take personally. The first is steal from me. If I see someone try to walk away with any type of my property I automatically become furious. The second thing is to cost me money. This doesn't make me furious but it will make me hot under the collar. Especially when your cheap ass knows that a pack of cigarettes are expensive and you keep asking to bum them off of me.

I understand times are hard for bartenders. Even though this bartender still makes decent money for four hours of work. I didn't mind bumming him cigarettes when they were free but now I'm paying well over $5 a pack for these things. Even if there was a common decency involved where he bought me a pack it would be better.

Why doesn't he buy his own? Well, you see, he doesn't smoke. He only smokes when he's at work which makes no sense since you can't smoke inside the establishment any more.

So when he last asked for a smoke, I said plainly, "You know, I have to buy these now."

"Ok.." he stared blankly at me with his hand out, "So uh.. you want a quarter or something? That's what they come out to be right?"

"No, I think it's about a dollar now."

"Pfft.. yea right..." I hand him a cigarette and he goes outside. This happens three or four times a night. Luckily we only work a couple nights together but this is going to change.

The other night I had to get into the trunk of my car for something. As I was moving some things around I found a couple of old packs of cigarettes. They've probably been in my trunk since last summer. Since they've been in my trunk for so long they're obviously stale. I figure I'll just keep a pack of the stale smokes in my pocket and when he asks for one I'll give him one of those. Once those run out he's all done.

Funny how you can tell a complete stranger no but a coworker you're a little more cordial with.