I swear I'll get back to posting real entries. Just a busy time of year for me.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
7 days till...
I found this video on Youtube.com. I'm guessing it'll be taken down fairly quickly but if it doesn't work just go to this site.
Saw IV
Saw IV
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Scheduling...
I've never been one to like an over productive schedule. Not that I don't like to get things done. I just don't like to have a lot of things that I have to get done in a day. I'm a homebody by definition. I leave when I need to and stay home otherwise. I don't watch much television either. If I am watching tv, I'm more than likely watching a movie that came out within the past year. This way I can catch up with the lingo and jokes that the people around me are using.
Other than that I try to read and get in a few other activities. I have to admit, reading isn't one of my bigger activities. Which might be evident in some ways by the more experienced connoisseur of the English language. Does it really bother me? No, not really. People still read what I have to write.
I've never really understood the giant hustle bustle that comes with bigger towns and cities. I've never understood why people have to meet up at a place of business.
"Hey man, you want to meet up at E. Oli's Sushi Bar?"
"No, just meet me at my place."
"Really?"
"Yea, why not? I got beers and food here."
It's strange to me how some people just have an apartment to sleep in it. For the amount of money you drop to have an apartment you might as well live in it. Otherwise it's just a storage shed.
You pay out so much money a month so you can leave your belongings somewhere. Why not spend some time there? It's the one place that your the King (or Queen). Nothing costs a thing after you get it inside and if done right that could mean a lot. I always tend to have at least a 12 pack of some beer in the fridge and a couple different bags of chips. Good for game day with the possibility of a delivered pizza.
There are a lot of people I know in the industry that just don't do that. They'd much rather go out and hang out at some other bar. Get bumped around by jocks, preps, and hipsters. Really? I guess it really is different being a doorman as compared to a bartender.
"Man, you sure you don't wanna just meet up at E. Oli's?"
"Do what you wanna do man. I'm sittin here with my beer and big screen."
"Can I bring a couple people?"
"As long as they aren't any of the assholes from the bar."
The bartenders I know just want to be around people. They don't like the small crowds. They're so used to running up and down the bar. They deal with a lot of people all the time. So I guess it's just normal for them to want to be around a lot of people.
I, on the other hand, like to keep it low key. I like having a bare minimum of people around. That way it's more personal. People get to know people and they get to know how they work. I guess that just comes from dealing with thousands of people at work. I get to know you well enough and then I know if I'm going to have to deal with you. Some I get to know well.
"How bout Cale? I just saw him go over to the store."
"I said, 'No assholes from the bar'."
Of course being from two totally different positions of the establishment means two totally different ideas of who the assholes are.
"Well man, I'm just gonna go over to E. Oli's for some sushi. I'll give ya a call back if anythings going on."
"Yea, sounds good man. I'll be here."
And that's where I stay. I have no need to go do anything. I got my brew, my food, and my home. It's all I need after dealing with idiots all week.
Other than that I try to read and get in a few other activities. I have to admit, reading isn't one of my bigger activities. Which might be evident in some ways by the more experienced connoisseur of the English language. Does it really bother me? No, not really. People still read what I have to write.
I've never really understood the giant hustle bustle that comes with bigger towns and cities. I've never understood why people have to meet up at a place of business.
"Hey man, you want to meet up at E. Oli's Sushi Bar?"
"No, just meet me at my place."
"Really?"
"Yea, why not? I got beers and food here."
It's strange to me how some people just have an apartment to sleep in it. For the amount of money you drop to have an apartment you might as well live in it. Otherwise it's just a storage shed.
You pay out so much money a month so you can leave your belongings somewhere. Why not spend some time there? It's the one place that your the King (or Queen). Nothing costs a thing after you get it inside and if done right that could mean a lot. I always tend to have at least a 12 pack of some beer in the fridge and a couple different bags of chips. Good for game day with the possibility of a delivered pizza.
There are a lot of people I know in the industry that just don't do that. They'd much rather go out and hang out at some other bar. Get bumped around by jocks, preps, and hipsters. Really? I guess it really is different being a doorman as compared to a bartender.
"Man, you sure you don't wanna just meet up at E. Oli's?"
"Do what you wanna do man. I'm sittin here with my beer and big screen."
"Can I bring a couple people?"
"As long as they aren't any of the assholes from the bar."
The bartenders I know just want to be around people. They don't like the small crowds. They're so used to running up and down the bar. They deal with a lot of people all the time. So I guess it's just normal for them to want to be around a lot of people.
I, on the other hand, like to keep it low key. I like having a bare minimum of people around. That way it's more personal. People get to know people and they get to know how they work. I guess that just comes from dealing with thousands of people at work. I get to know you well enough and then I know if I'm going to have to deal with you. Some I get to know well.
"How bout Cale? I just saw him go over to the store."
"I said, 'No assholes from the bar'."
Of course being from two totally different positions of the establishment means two totally different ideas of who the assholes are.
"Well man, I'm just gonna go over to E. Oli's for some sushi. I'll give ya a call back if anythings going on."
"Yea, sounds good man. I'll be here."
And that's where I stay. I have no need to go do anything. I got my brew, my food, and my home. It's all I need after dealing with idiots all week.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Rock Star Lines IV...
On busy nights with a long line of people waiting it's fairly hard to skip the line. If you have the right type of handshake it makes the wait go by a lot faster. Especially if you know the proper number of people you have and the amount of grease your providing. Grease and knowledge work great in the proper combination.
"Hey man, my friend over here wants to see if there's some way to get pass this line. He wants to know if Franklin has any pull around here."
"That depends on how many friends Franklin has."
"He just has five others with him."
"Then Mr Franklin should meet me and then see about going in."
The perfect mix of grease applied to a handshake can get you into many places. It works with the nightclub industry as well as the restaurant industry. Don't believe me? Next time you go to a fancy restaurant and want to skip the line of people waiting for a table try this. Slip a fifty dollar bill into a handshake and see how fast you get a table.
Here's a tip though. Don't be like this guy. Don't come back to the doorman and ask for more "help".
"Hey buddy, since I helped you out, you think you can help me out in here?"
"What kind of help are you needing?" I was thinking he meant that his group wanted a table. If that was the case I might be able to help him. Of course that would mean that he would have to "help out" who ever was inside getting him the table.
"Well, you think you can get us free drinks?" I laughed at him, literally. I looked right at him and let out a few laughs. "That's funny to you after we helped you out?"
"First off man, you didn't help me out. You helped yourself out. Your not still waiting in line are you?"
"What? That's how it is?"
"Listen man, if you want discount drinks then over tip the bartender. I'm not the bartender and I'm not going to ask them to hook up some one I don't know."
"That's fuckin bullshit man. Even after I helped you out? Why you being an ass about this?"
"Excuse me?"
"Man, I didn't have to give that to you. I was helping you out."
"I didn't have to let you in. I don't have to let you stay either. So either go inside and enjoy the fact that your not standing in line or argue some more and leave."
"Fuck you man." Then he turned and started walking back in.
I step inside the door and grab his arm, "Excuse me?"
"You heard me man. Fuck you."
I shoved him against the wall and shoved my finger in his chest while holding his arm. "You can either enjoy your time here or you can leave. Which is it?"
"The fucks your problem man!?"
"I did you a favor. A one time favor. Now you can either stay with your friends or I can throw you out."
"Fine man, what ever." I let him go and he walked off.
Then Casper walked up, "What's the problem with that guy?"
"Watch him. He fucks up in any way toss his ass out."
Twenty minutes later he's being shoved through the crowd to the door. Turns out he didn't know how to keep his mouth shut to the waitress. He didn't tip her at all and then started bitching about the price of drinks. He even complimented her on her "cunty" attitude. Such a class act.
I'll take a large tip from just about anyone. It doesn't mean that your an better than anyone else. It definitely doesn't mean that you can think your a big shot. Your still a nobody and you can still get treated like one. No skin off my back if someone tosses you out right after you get in.
Get a personality and don't be a douche bag.
"Hey man, my friend over here wants to see if there's some way to get pass this line. He wants to know if Franklin has any pull around here."
"That depends on how many friends Franklin has."
"He just has five others with him."
"Then Mr Franklin should meet me and then see about going in."
The perfect mix of grease applied to a handshake can get you into many places. It works with the nightclub industry as well as the restaurant industry. Don't believe me? Next time you go to a fancy restaurant and want to skip the line of people waiting for a table try this. Slip a fifty dollar bill into a handshake and see how fast you get a table.
Here's a tip though. Don't be like this guy. Don't come back to the doorman and ask for more "help".
"Hey buddy, since I helped you out, you think you can help me out in here?"
"What kind of help are you needing?" I was thinking he meant that his group wanted a table. If that was the case I might be able to help him. Of course that would mean that he would have to "help out" who ever was inside getting him the table.
"Well, you think you can get us free drinks?" I laughed at him, literally. I looked right at him and let out a few laughs. "That's funny to you after we helped you out?"
"First off man, you didn't help me out. You helped yourself out. Your not still waiting in line are you?"
"What? That's how it is?"
"Listen man, if you want discount drinks then over tip the bartender. I'm not the bartender and I'm not going to ask them to hook up some one I don't know."
"That's fuckin bullshit man. Even after I helped you out? Why you being an ass about this?"
"Excuse me?"
"Man, I didn't have to give that to you. I was helping you out."
"I didn't have to let you in. I don't have to let you stay either. So either go inside and enjoy the fact that your not standing in line or argue some more and leave."
"Fuck you man." Then he turned and started walking back in.
I step inside the door and grab his arm, "Excuse me?"
"You heard me man. Fuck you."
I shoved him against the wall and shoved my finger in his chest while holding his arm. "You can either enjoy your time here or you can leave. Which is it?"
"The fucks your problem man!?"
"I did you a favor. A one time favor. Now you can either stay with your friends or I can throw you out."
"Fine man, what ever." I let him go and he walked off.
Then Casper walked up, "What's the problem with that guy?"
"Watch him. He fucks up in any way toss his ass out."
Twenty minutes later he's being shoved through the crowd to the door. Turns out he didn't know how to keep his mouth shut to the waitress. He didn't tip her at all and then started bitching about the price of drinks. He even complimented her on her "cunty" attitude. Such a class act.
I'll take a large tip from just about anyone. It doesn't mean that your an better than anyone else. It definitely doesn't mean that you can think your a big shot. Your still a nobody and you can still get treated like one. No skin off my back if someone tosses you out right after you get in.
Get a personality and don't be a douche bag.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
That time of year...
It's about that time of the year again. The night more people will be pissed off at a club's security then any other night of the year. This time of year that I speak of?
Halloween.
It's the time of year that people can dress up in any way that they want to. Women can dress like sluts and the hookers fit in like everyone else. It's the time of year when anyone can be anyone and all the dregs of society fit in like they're everyone else.
It's strange for me to say that this used to be my favorite part of the year. The running through the cemeteries, hiding from the cops, toilet papering people's homes, and the never ending supply of candy. In some ways I'm kind of glad I out grew that stage. In many other ways I wish I hadn't.
I do remember a time when I was about 15 years old. Some friends and I decided to go out to the cemetery that was a couple miles out of town. We walked out there by following a railroad track, the whole time joking about how much it was like Stand By Me. Other than we weren't looking for a dead body and it wasn't going to take us days to get where we were going.
It only took us about 20 minutes to make it to the cemetery. After we got there we didn't even really think about what we were going to do, we just wanted to make it out there. We had heard a bunch of high schoolers say they were going there and we wanted to see what was going on. Of course, when we got there no one was anywhere to be seen. A couple years before there was a high schooler that had died in a car accident so we decided to go check out his gravestone and see if maybe anyone left anything there. So we started off across the graveyard.
Half way across the graveyard was a giant mausoleum. As we got closer to it a spot light lit up on the doors of it. All four of us jumped in different directions and hid in bushes and behind tombstones. The one cop in town was driving through the cemetery and was looking to see if anyone was around.
I was folded up as much as I could be in between two little evergreen trees next to a tombstone. Then the spotlight started moving around through the trees and the area near us. He never did find any of us though or he did and just didn't want to do anything. I remember the spotlight stopping on me for a second or two that felt like an eternity. Then the car drove by and he headed back towards town.
We ended up heading over to the tombstone of the high schooler that had died a couple years before. We stood there looking at his name and the dates . It was a very quiet moment. Lots of thoughts went through my mind. I think it was primarily the past memories of the times I had known him and the things that he had done. I knew him as well as I could but I never really knew him for who he was. I don't think anyone really knows anyone at the high school level. Your not really the person that your going to be yet. Your just beginning to know yourself at that age.
So we walked back to town down that railroad pathway and headed back to the bar that our parents were sitting in. As I walked in and sat next to my father he just looked at me and laughed. He pointed out the grass stains on my new jeans and said, "Your mothers gonna kill you for get grass stains on those jeans." Then I wondered if my dead friend ever had to hear that from his father.
That night ended soon after that. My father drank and talked with friends and I ate tacos and ran around town. It was one of the good times when nothing really mattered.
Those days lasted longer than most.
11 Days to go....
In the spirit of Halloween you have to go see 30 Days of Night. From the clips I've seen it looks like it's going to be one of the best horror movies released lately. I don't count remakes because all they're doing is putting a new spin on old information.
Here's the trailer.
It looks like a great spin on the old vampire tales. The last have come to breed. Will they succeed?
I'll hopefully be able to see it soon if my weekend isn't too busy with work. If you have seen it feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you thought of it.
Also check out Horror Movie Online for more interesting articles about horror movies, reviews, and industry news.
Here's the trailer.
It looks like a great spin on the old vampire tales. The last have come to breed. Will they succeed?
I'll hopefully be able to see it soon if my weekend isn't too busy with work. If you have seen it feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you thought of it.
Also check out Horror Movie Online for more interesting articles about horror movies, reviews, and industry news.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Driving...
"Mike, you have to pull over. We've been driving for at least 5 minutes."
"I don't have to pull over until I feel comfortable pulling over."
"Your gonna get arrested."
"For what? I'm not speeding any more... and I'm waitin till I come up to some street lights."
"I'm sure your just causing more of a scene."
"Yea, cause out here in the middle of no where there's a lot of people to cause one for."
A while back I went on a little road trip with a friend. We had to hit a couple highways to get where we were going and these roads went right out to the middle of no where. Every 5 or 6 miles you might see a house off in the distance. As per the norm, I was speeding. I don't think I ever go the actual limit anyways so it was about time for me to get caught.
Somewhere along the line a cop caught me with his radar and his lights popped on. I wasn't about to just pull over in the middle of no where without any lights around. So I kept driving until I found one. I think I found a street light after about twenty minutes. I pulled over just pass the light so that the police cruiser could pull under the light. I got my insurance card and license out and got ready for the questioning that I knew was about to begin as the officer tapped on my window. I rolled down my window and waited.
"How are we tonight guys?"
"Doing just fine officer."
"I was wondering if you had forgotten about me back there. Any reason why we waited so long to pull over?"
"Sorry, new to the area. Just wanted to get to a place where there was a little light."
"That's understandable. Can you step out of the car sir."
I stepped out of the car and walked with him to the trunk of my car. We stood there for a little bit and after a few more questions about where we were going I got a little surprise.
"So... I'm gonna see you at the little get together then right?" I just stood there looking at him. "You said your in town for a little get together with friends right? I'm guessing I'll be there as well."
Then I took a hard look at his name tag. Not really sure why I hadn't before, it's usually common practice for me. "Holy shit. When did they let you become a cop?" A grin came out from both of us we shook hands. "I haven't seen you in a long ass time."
"Yea, well after the shit we used to pull I figured I'd be the best at catching the new kids."
We stood there and talked for at least another half an hour before he noticed that my friend was getting anxious. "Looks like she's bout to spring a leak," he said as he nodded in through the back window.
"Eh, let her. She thinks I was trying to cause a scene by making you follow me."
We talked a little while longer and then we said our good byes. I got back in my car and he drove past us down the road.
"What the hell was that all about? I thought you two were gonna make out or something."
"Oh that? That was a good friend of mine. He was hopin you'd have to piss so much he'd get to use his tazer on ya." I had to chuckle a little with that image flashing through my head. Her jumping out of the car bitching for us to hurry up so she could to the bathroom. Then him getting startled, or annoyed, and pulling out his tazer and using it on her.
"Yea, what ever. Hurry up and get me to a bathroom will ya?"
"There's plenty of trees and corn over there." With that I got an eyeballs through the roof of her skull look.
"I know your joking. Drive."
I had a feeling that whole friendship was a joke after that. Sometimes it's good to remember where your from and where your going.
"I don't have to pull over until I feel comfortable pulling over."
"Your gonna get arrested."
"For what? I'm not speeding any more... and I'm waitin till I come up to some street lights."
"I'm sure your just causing more of a scene."
"Yea, cause out here in the middle of no where there's a lot of people to cause one for."
A while back I went on a little road trip with a friend. We had to hit a couple highways to get where we were going and these roads went right out to the middle of no where. Every 5 or 6 miles you might see a house off in the distance. As per the norm, I was speeding. I don't think I ever go the actual limit anyways so it was about time for me to get caught.
Somewhere along the line a cop caught me with his radar and his lights popped on. I wasn't about to just pull over in the middle of no where without any lights around. So I kept driving until I found one. I think I found a street light after about twenty minutes. I pulled over just pass the light so that the police cruiser could pull under the light. I got my insurance card and license out and got ready for the questioning that I knew was about to begin as the officer tapped on my window. I rolled down my window and waited.
"How are we tonight guys?"
"Doing just fine officer."
"I was wondering if you had forgotten about me back there. Any reason why we waited so long to pull over?"
"Sorry, new to the area. Just wanted to get to a place where there was a little light."
"That's understandable. Can you step out of the car sir."
I stepped out of the car and walked with him to the trunk of my car. We stood there for a little bit and after a few more questions about where we were going I got a little surprise.
"So... I'm gonna see you at the little get together then right?" I just stood there looking at him. "You said your in town for a little get together with friends right? I'm guessing I'll be there as well."
Then I took a hard look at his name tag. Not really sure why I hadn't before, it's usually common practice for me. "Holy shit. When did they let you become a cop?" A grin came out from both of us we shook hands. "I haven't seen you in a long ass time."
"Yea, well after the shit we used to pull I figured I'd be the best at catching the new kids."
We stood there and talked for at least another half an hour before he noticed that my friend was getting anxious. "Looks like she's bout to spring a leak," he said as he nodded in through the back window.
"Eh, let her. She thinks I was trying to cause a scene by making you follow me."
We talked a little while longer and then we said our good byes. I got back in my car and he drove past us down the road.
"What the hell was that all about? I thought you two were gonna make out or something."
"Oh that? That was a good friend of mine. He was hopin you'd have to piss so much he'd get to use his tazer on ya." I had to chuckle a little with that image flashing through my head. Her jumping out of the car bitching for us to hurry up so she could to the bathroom. Then him getting startled, or annoyed, and pulling out his tazer and using it on her.
"Yea, what ever. Hurry up and get me to a bathroom will ya?"
"There's plenty of trees and corn over there." With that I got an eyeballs through the roof of her skull look.
"I know your joking. Drive."
I had a feeling that whole friendship was a joke after that. Sometimes it's good to remember where your from and where your going.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Skin Head or Shaved Head....
Since when is it a fact that your a White Power piece of shit just because you have a shaved head? I've never understood why anyone in this day and age thinks that. A shaved head is nothing more than a different type of hair style. Which really doesn't make much sense since there is no hair involved.
I know a few doorguys who shave their heads for a basic reason. No hair means there's nothing for someone to grab a hold of in a situation. I can fully understand this just from my own experiences of grabbing heads full of hair and having mine grabbed. When there's no hair to grab it's a little harder to get a good hold on someone in that way.
It's good at times for weeding out the assholes. Especially when they walk up to the door and open their mouths to a doorguy with a shaved head.
"Hi guys, can I see your i.d.'s?"
"Sure thing brother," man pulls out wallet and takes out his i.d. Looking at his friend, "This must be a good place for our brothers."
I look up, "You have family in from out of town?"
"No man, I mean for us. None of them black types in here right?"
"I'm sorry, what do you mean by 'black types'?"
"I guess I mean any one that's not white."
"Yea.. you might want to try a different bar guys. We don't discriminate our customers. Every one is equal here."
The guy just stood there staring, "It's cool man, I just figured since your head looked so clean.."
"That I'm some kind of piece of shit? Take a walk guys, I can't let you in here."
They stood there for a little bit and walked down the street. Yelled a few racist remarks at some guys on the corner and disappeared.
I just don't understand that mentality, even with 3/4's of my family being from the south. I know in some areas of the world it's still a common problem but it's rare that it comes up here. If I can deter it in any way I'm more than happy to. If I could take all those people and re-write their brain functions I would. Sadly, there has to be some people that are still ignorant and like to defecate from their mouths.
Then again, there are still people on the other side of that fence that think it still. I've had black people come up and give me shit for having a shaved head also. They walk by and say things about how they would come to the establishment but it doesn't look like they're welcome. Or they just throw out insults with out even knowing who they're insulting. They don't even realize that I just didn't let in two white power assholes because I don't believe in that.
The world has two sides to everything. There's a good and bad to just about every type of person there is in the world. Until you know who or what that person is how can you decide who or what they are? Is it your power to do so?
Granted, a good doorman can recognize most of the different types of people. It doesn't mean that they are 100% correct in everything they decide though. There is always a chance that they are wrong. I'll admit that I have been wrong in certain cases but that's not something anyone really wants to bring up. Not because anyone wants to admit that they were wrong but just because it doesn't look good.
No one's perfect but you can stop yourself from being a complete piece of shit at any time.
I know a few doorguys who shave their heads for a basic reason. No hair means there's nothing for someone to grab a hold of in a situation. I can fully understand this just from my own experiences of grabbing heads full of hair and having mine grabbed. When there's no hair to grab it's a little harder to get a good hold on someone in that way.
It's good at times for weeding out the assholes. Especially when they walk up to the door and open their mouths to a doorguy with a shaved head.
"Hi guys, can I see your i.d.'s?"
"Sure thing brother," man pulls out wallet and takes out his i.d. Looking at his friend, "This must be a good place for our brothers."
I look up, "You have family in from out of town?"
"No man, I mean for us. None of them black types in here right?"
"I'm sorry, what do you mean by 'black types'?"
"I guess I mean any one that's not white."
"Yea.. you might want to try a different bar guys. We don't discriminate our customers. Every one is equal here."
The guy just stood there staring, "It's cool man, I just figured since your head looked so clean.."
"That I'm some kind of piece of shit? Take a walk guys, I can't let you in here."
They stood there for a little bit and walked down the street. Yelled a few racist remarks at some guys on the corner and disappeared.
I just don't understand that mentality, even with 3/4's of my family being from the south. I know in some areas of the world it's still a common problem but it's rare that it comes up here. If I can deter it in any way I'm more than happy to. If I could take all those people and re-write their brain functions I would. Sadly, there has to be some people that are still ignorant and like to defecate from their mouths.
Then again, there are still people on the other side of that fence that think it still. I've had black people come up and give me shit for having a shaved head also. They walk by and say things about how they would come to the establishment but it doesn't look like they're welcome. Or they just throw out insults with out even knowing who they're insulting. They don't even realize that I just didn't let in two white power assholes because I don't believe in that.
The world has two sides to everything. There's a good and bad to just about every type of person there is in the world. Until you know who or what that person is how can you decide who or what they are? Is it your power to do so?
Granted, a good doorman can recognize most of the different types of people. It doesn't mean that they are 100% correct in everything they decide though. There is always a chance that they are wrong. I'll admit that I have been wrong in certain cases but that's not something anyone really wants to bring up. Not because anyone wants to admit that they were wrong but just because it doesn't look good.
No one's perfect but you can stop yourself from being a complete piece of shit at any time.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Same old song...
I hear "same old song" and a couple things come to mind. The first is a song by Aerosmith titled Same Old Song and Dance. The second is the old saying, "It's just the same old song and dance."
My father used to say it to me all the time. Especially when I'd walk in the front door after midnight on a school night.
"Where you been all night boy?"
"Well, we were coming back from town and we had a flat tire."
"Yea, right. Just the same old song and dance with you isn't it? Get your ass to bed before I put the belt to it."
My old man was never one to really stand up to when I was a kid. In my later years I realized that if I didn't stand up to him, I'd never stand up to anyone. He was the strongest and meanest person I had ever known to that point of my life. When I did finally stand up to him I knew I could stand up to just about anyone.
It seemed like the only time he ever used the song and dance saying was when I was trying to explain things. I'm not sure if he tried to do that to see if I'd change my story or if he just didn't care what I was saying. Either way he had already passed judgment before I had even gotten home. He was good for that. He thought he knew all the tricks of the trade and that he had pulled all of them on his father. What he didn't realize was that I never had a reason to lie to him about most things. Not to say I was a perfectly honest kid, I lied about plenty of things, especially when it came to grades.
He was a stickler about math. He used to say, "Who the hell cares who won the Russian Revolution. You think you'll need that information when your 30 and working a job? You don't get your grades up in math and you'll be wishing you never even knew where you lived."
A lot of people thought my father was an mean old asshole. I thought he was a piece of shit for many years but in the end I realized he was the way he was because that's how he thought he had to be. He grew up in the colored and poor area of Kentucky. The house he grew up in was smaller than the typical studio apartment you might find in a city. There were four people living in that house too.
Then he was in the military and the strict lines of order were all around him there as well. He wasn't in todays military. He was in the military that could punch you in the face for not keeping up with the rest of the group. From the stories he'd wake me up in the middle of the night to tell; he had his fair shares of punches.
From his stories and the stories I've heard from other family members he definitely earned the punches that he got. He was a hell raiser and he never really stopped doing that. Even when he had to make shit up.
Now I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses for the way he was. You haven't even heard any of the stuff he really did. He was an asshole to a lot of people. There are a lot of people now that, if they were asked about him, would say he was an asshole but he had his good sides too. Most people try to even out their lives, he didn't really care what you thought. He knew what he had to do or wanted to do and he did it. He hurt a lot of people both physically and emotionally in the process. Part of me thinks that he thought those people were weak. That they couldn't handle it because they just weren't up to par. Or maybe he just didn't care about anyone unless it affected him. I can understand that point of view. It's been mine for a few years now.
No matter how anyone looks at the way their parents were, I still think that a person is who they are today because of their parents and themselves. Your parents can only put so much into you. At some point of your life you take over and start making your own informed decisions. They can tell you about the things that happened to them but you don't have to listen. You can listen to everything they say and turn out to be a clone. You could listen to only the parts that you want to and then use your own judgment and turn out to be who you are.
Sure, there are a lot of abusive families out there. It doesn't mean that every kid is going to turn out that way. It also doesn't condone the parent's actions for being abusive. I'm just saying that we are who we are and we make ourselves that way with or without the help.
My father passed away a few years back very close to this date. He was stubborn and an ass up to the very day that it happened. I know he regretted a lot of things in the last couple of years of his life. He looked back at the things he did and tried to fix some of them. Years of his behavior couldn't be fixed in that short of time. I think he realized that and that's why he choose not to say anything to anyone about his illness. If he recognized that it was there then he had already given up. In his mind only the weak gave up.
He didn't want anyone to know that he was weak.
I thought for many years that I was partially invincible. Then I spent a few days in the hospital and it scared the life almost fully out of me. I was trained mentally to think I wasn't weak and that nothing could happen. I remember coming out of that hospital and realizing that I wasn't as strong or resilient as I thought I was. It still effects me partially today. I'm not the man I was but I am a man different in many ways. I'm no longer the superman that would ride on the roofs of cars doing 30mph through parking lots or jump from roof to tree. I am the man now that will do as he wishes and if necessary I'll do what I have to. I feel much older than I am.
So I wonder every once in a while what he would think these days. I wonder if he would be proud of the way his son turned out. Then I decide that it doesn't really matter. I live the way I want to live and even though I would go to him for advice at times, I can usually hear what he'd say to my questions.
"Just the same old song and dance with you isn't it? What is it you really want to do?"
My father used to say it to me all the time. Especially when I'd walk in the front door after midnight on a school night.
"Where you been all night boy?"
"Well, we were coming back from town and we had a flat tire."
"Yea, right. Just the same old song and dance with you isn't it? Get your ass to bed before I put the belt to it."
My old man was never one to really stand up to when I was a kid. In my later years I realized that if I didn't stand up to him, I'd never stand up to anyone. He was the strongest and meanest person I had ever known to that point of my life. When I did finally stand up to him I knew I could stand up to just about anyone.
It seemed like the only time he ever used the song and dance saying was when I was trying to explain things. I'm not sure if he tried to do that to see if I'd change my story or if he just didn't care what I was saying. Either way he had already passed judgment before I had even gotten home. He was good for that. He thought he knew all the tricks of the trade and that he had pulled all of them on his father. What he didn't realize was that I never had a reason to lie to him about most things. Not to say I was a perfectly honest kid, I lied about plenty of things, especially when it came to grades.
He was a stickler about math. He used to say, "Who the hell cares who won the Russian Revolution. You think you'll need that information when your 30 and working a job? You don't get your grades up in math and you'll be wishing you never even knew where you lived."
A lot of people thought my father was an mean old asshole. I thought he was a piece of shit for many years but in the end I realized he was the way he was because that's how he thought he had to be. He grew up in the colored and poor area of Kentucky. The house he grew up in was smaller than the typical studio apartment you might find in a city. There were four people living in that house too.
Then he was in the military and the strict lines of order were all around him there as well. He wasn't in todays military. He was in the military that could punch you in the face for not keeping up with the rest of the group. From the stories he'd wake me up in the middle of the night to tell; he had his fair shares of punches.
From his stories and the stories I've heard from other family members he definitely earned the punches that he got. He was a hell raiser and he never really stopped doing that. Even when he had to make shit up.
Now I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses for the way he was. You haven't even heard any of the stuff he really did. He was an asshole to a lot of people. There are a lot of people now that, if they were asked about him, would say he was an asshole but he had his good sides too. Most people try to even out their lives, he didn't really care what you thought. He knew what he had to do or wanted to do and he did it. He hurt a lot of people both physically and emotionally in the process. Part of me thinks that he thought those people were weak. That they couldn't handle it because they just weren't up to par. Or maybe he just didn't care about anyone unless it affected him. I can understand that point of view. It's been mine for a few years now.
No matter how anyone looks at the way their parents were, I still think that a person is who they are today because of their parents and themselves. Your parents can only put so much into you. At some point of your life you take over and start making your own informed decisions. They can tell you about the things that happened to them but you don't have to listen. You can listen to everything they say and turn out to be a clone. You could listen to only the parts that you want to and then use your own judgment and turn out to be who you are.
Sure, there are a lot of abusive families out there. It doesn't mean that every kid is going to turn out that way. It also doesn't condone the parent's actions for being abusive. I'm just saying that we are who we are and we make ourselves that way with or without the help.
My father passed away a few years back very close to this date. He was stubborn and an ass up to the very day that it happened. I know he regretted a lot of things in the last couple of years of his life. He looked back at the things he did and tried to fix some of them. Years of his behavior couldn't be fixed in that short of time. I think he realized that and that's why he choose not to say anything to anyone about his illness. If he recognized that it was there then he had already given up. In his mind only the weak gave up.
He didn't want anyone to know that he was weak.
I thought for many years that I was partially invincible. Then I spent a few days in the hospital and it scared the life almost fully out of me. I was trained mentally to think I wasn't weak and that nothing could happen. I remember coming out of that hospital and realizing that I wasn't as strong or resilient as I thought I was. It still effects me partially today. I'm not the man I was but I am a man different in many ways. I'm no longer the superman that would ride on the roofs of cars doing 30mph through parking lots or jump from roof to tree. I am the man now that will do as he wishes and if necessary I'll do what I have to. I feel much older than I am.
So I wonder every once in a while what he would think these days. I wonder if he would be proud of the way his son turned out. Then I decide that it doesn't really matter. I live the way I want to live and even though I would go to him for advice at times, I can usually hear what he'd say to my questions.
"Just the same old song and dance with you isn't it? What is it you really want to do?"
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Hustle...
I was jumping around on Youtube and found some interesting videos from a show that airs on BBC Three called The Real Hustle.
The clips that I found are pretty interesting and informative for people that keep an eye open for such things. Then again, half the people that go out think the place their at is just as safe as their home. There are stupid people setting their phones, wallets, and purses down everywhere and for some stupid reason they think they're safe.
Wake up people. There is always someone out there to get you. I'll expand on that in future posts or you can check out this one that I posted a while back. My purse... or rent?
So here's a couple of the clips that I found on Youtube. If they interest you there's a lot of them on there. Just go to Youtube and search for Real Hustle and you'll find them all.
BlueSnarfing
Proposition Bet
How to Get Free Drinks 2
The clips that I found are pretty interesting and informative for people that keep an eye open for such things. Then again, half the people that go out think the place their at is just as safe as their home. There are stupid people setting their phones, wallets, and purses down everywhere and for some stupid reason they think they're safe.
Wake up people. There is always someone out there to get you. I'll expand on that in future posts or you can check out this one that I posted a while back. My purse... or rent?
So here's a couple of the clips that I found on Youtube. If they interest you there's a lot of them on there. Just go to Youtube and search for Real Hustle and you'll find them all.
BlueSnarfing
Proposition Bet
How to Get Free Drinks 2
Monday, October 15, 2007
Cynicalities I...
How many times have guys been made fools of for the sake of women? Some people might think that it's normal and that's just how it works. Some guys think it's ok because it's cute. Well, what about when it's not cute anymore?
I've seen some interesting things when it comes down to the pursuit of momentary happiness. I've seen guys get put into fights and guys get brushed off like dandruff. I've also seen guys get brushed off like dandruff after getting into a fight for some woman they didn't even know.
It's just funny to me how guys can be turned around and led astray without much trouble. It's been known for decades that women have more power over men so I'm not saying anything untrue. I've been in that situation as well many years ago. Then I became cynical and I'm now waiting to see if there is a woman that can prove me wrong.
Now I'm not going to sit here and say that every woman is like that. In fact, I'll say that about 70% of the women I know are not like that. They're also women that I wouldn't see myself getting all caught up over. I'd help them out if they needed it but other than that I don't think I'd go far out of my way for them.
I just find it funny how some guys will go out of their way to try and stand up for some woman they don't know. What is there to gain? A roll in the hay? A night of pleasure? Really? Is it that big of a deal? Hey, I'm a guy too and I don't mind a good night of sex but it's not that important to me to find some woman I don't even know. Consider this, if she's willing to put you through hoops to give it to you then she's been willing to do that to just about any guy.
Two things I've remembered over time.
I've seen some interesting things when it comes down to the pursuit of momentary happiness. I've seen guys get put into fights and guys get brushed off like dandruff. I've also seen guys get brushed off like dandruff after getting into a fight for some woman they didn't even know.
It's just funny to me how guys can be turned around and led astray without much trouble. It's been known for decades that women have more power over men so I'm not saying anything untrue. I've been in that situation as well many years ago. Then I became cynical and I'm now waiting to see if there is a woman that can prove me wrong.
Now I'm not going to sit here and say that every woman is like that. In fact, I'll say that about 70% of the women I know are not like that. They're also women that I wouldn't see myself getting all caught up over. I'd help them out if they needed it but other than that I don't think I'd go far out of my way for them.
I just find it funny how some guys will go out of their way to try and stand up for some woman they don't know. What is there to gain? A roll in the hay? A night of pleasure? Really? Is it that big of a deal? Hey, I'm a guy too and I don't mind a good night of sex but it's not that important to me to find some woman I don't even know. Consider this, if she's willing to put you through hoops to give it to you then she's been willing to do that to just about any guy.
Two things I've remembered over time.
- No matter how gorgeous a woman is. Some guy is tired of her shit.
- When kissing a woman you don't know. You might be kissing the guy she just went into the side alley with.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Mornings....
It's always interesting when you walk out of work. It's usually daybreak by the time we get out. The birds are chirping and there are people heading off to work, the normal joggers and the dog walkers are out as well. It's a total switch from night to day in the matter of an hour or two.
Every time out the door it's the same. We all stand out front and talk while we wait for cabs to come by and we set the girls off to their homes. Some of the guys walk the girls to their cars and then it's our turn to take off and go our separate ways until the next night comes again.
After everyone's accounted for I start walking the three or four blocks to my car as I usually do. I usually park this far since parking is limited near the establishment and it's good to get that little walk in after work. I also like parking that far away so it's harder for any past conflict (aka assholes, douchebags, etc.) to know what I'm driving and to damage what little bit of a fine running automobile I have. Some people tell me not to be so paranoid but I know what can happen.
I hate for this to come out as some kind of Roadhouse situation but it has happened to me before. I've worked in places where I'd park close because I was running late and then later there would be a problem and somehow my car ended up on the receiving end. I've never gotten a stop sign in my front window but I have had flat tires and words scrawled on it. Through out time I've learned to not park close to work and I've started getting there earlier so people don't notice me getting out of my car. It's just better for my car and my wallet if I do.
It's been a long time since anything like that has happened and I am knocking on my cheap fiber board desk which I'll now dub as "wood" as a safety precaution.
In fact, I think it's been at least two or three years since anything like that has happened. Even then they just wrote a few encouraging words on the drivers door of the car. I found it funny and the other guys I worked with at the time took it a little more personal than I did. I never let little things like that bother me. I figure that if they really knew me they wouldn't be doing it.
I've never been the type of person that takes things personal. It's just not worth my time or effort when it comes down to it. Of course, if it had been someone I knew and they knew me then it's a totally different ball game.
This morning as I walked to my car everything seemed the same as normal. Nothing out of place and lots of joggers. It's nice not having to worry about things happening and sometimes thats worth more than having things happen just so there's something interesting to say.
Then again, when nothing is happening it gets to be pretty boring as well.
Every time out the door it's the same. We all stand out front and talk while we wait for cabs to come by and we set the girls off to their homes. Some of the guys walk the girls to their cars and then it's our turn to take off and go our separate ways until the next night comes again.
After everyone's accounted for I start walking the three or four blocks to my car as I usually do. I usually park this far since parking is limited near the establishment and it's good to get that little walk in after work. I also like parking that far away so it's harder for any past conflict (aka assholes, douchebags, etc.) to know what I'm driving and to damage what little bit of a fine running automobile I have. Some people tell me not to be so paranoid but I know what can happen.
I hate for this to come out as some kind of Roadhouse situation but it has happened to me before. I've worked in places where I'd park close because I was running late and then later there would be a problem and somehow my car ended up on the receiving end. I've never gotten a stop sign in my front window but I have had flat tires and words scrawled on it. Through out time I've learned to not park close to work and I've started getting there earlier so people don't notice me getting out of my car. It's just better for my car and my wallet if I do.
It's been a long time since anything like that has happened and I am knocking on my cheap fiber board desk which I'll now dub as "wood" as a safety precaution.
In fact, I think it's been at least two or three years since anything like that has happened. Even then they just wrote a few encouraging words on the drivers door of the car. I found it funny and the other guys I worked with at the time took it a little more personal than I did. I never let little things like that bother me. I figure that if they really knew me they wouldn't be doing it.
I've never been the type of person that takes things personal. It's just not worth my time or effort when it comes down to it. Of course, if it had been someone I knew and they knew me then it's a totally different ball game.
This morning as I walked to my car everything seemed the same as normal. Nothing out of place and lots of joggers. It's nice not having to worry about things happening and sometimes thats worth more than having things happen just so there's something interesting to say.
Then again, when nothing is happening it gets to be pretty boring as well.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Adsense or nosense...
Every once in a while I take a look at the ads that Google puts on my page. I opted for the ads because I figure if people actually use them and I can make a few bucks here and there it's not a bad thing. After 6 months I've made a penny. So they're not really worth it to me. They do offer a bit of eyebrow raising and thought occasionally.
They change fairly often since they're supposed to go through the posts and find prevalent topics to offer search options for. Yet, I don't think they're working very well. Or they're working in the exact opposite way.
For instance, here are the ads that I see now as I write this.
Ads that make no sense: Friend Poems, Quotes, Love Letter Poems, Romance Poems, Poems about Women, The Power of Nice, Bring Back Lost Love, Romantic Love
Ads that make sense: Deal w/ Difficult People, Workplace Issues
So I guess 2 out of 15 isn't too bad....
I've been looking at a few different sites that offer payments for postings and other types of advertisement options to make a little cash. I figure if people only have to click on something and it offers something they want to look at and it doesn't bother their pc, then what's to lose? We both win.
So in a few days I'll more than likely have some new eye candy on the side of the page. Maybe I'll actually make enough for a cup of coffee before work. Who knows.. maybe even a steak dinner. Ok, I'm getting a little far ahead of myself there.
I wonder if any newspapers would be interested in a doorman's opinion column? It might go well in a Nightlife section. Ha ha!! Yea.. I don't think the world really wants to know what doormen and club security personnel think of them. If they did there'd be a lot more blogs and columns out there about us. Then again, the world thinks we're all muscle bound idiots.
More to come.
They change fairly often since they're supposed to go through the posts and find prevalent topics to offer search options for. Yet, I don't think they're working very well. Or they're working in the exact opposite way.
For instance, here are the ads that I see now as I write this.
Ads that make no sense: Friend Poems, Quotes, Love Letter Poems, Romance Poems, Poems about Women, The Power of Nice, Bring Back Lost Love, Romantic Love
Ads that make sense: Deal w/ Difficult People, Workplace Issues
So I guess 2 out of 15 isn't too bad....
I've been looking at a few different sites that offer payments for postings and other types of advertisement options to make a little cash. I figure if people only have to click on something and it offers something they want to look at and it doesn't bother their pc, then what's to lose? We both win.
So in a few days I'll more than likely have some new eye candy on the side of the page. Maybe I'll actually make enough for a cup of coffee before work. Who knows.. maybe even a steak dinner. Ok, I'm getting a little far ahead of myself there.
I wonder if any newspapers would be interested in a doorman's opinion column? It might go well in a Nightlife section. Ha ha!! Yea.. I don't think the world really wants to know what doormen and club security personnel think of them. If they did there'd be a lot more blogs and columns out there about us. Then again, the world thinks we're all muscle bound idiots.
More to come.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Do you know who I am!?...
There's always that one guy that thinks he's the big shot. He thinks he knows all the right people and he thinks he goes to all the right places. Sometimes reality sinks in.
On a busy night, with people waiting in line, a gentleman walks up past the line. He does the same thing that a lot of people do. He drops a name that isn't all that important.
"Hey buddy, I'm good friends with Mark over at Cookie's Clubhouse. Anything you can do for us?"
"Well, there are people waiting in line over here so there's not a lot I can do."
"Yea, but I'm good friends with Mark. He said to come over here."
Here's what most people don't realize. Most doormen in this area know most of the important people in the industry. We talk to other people and yes, we do go out on some occasions. So we know who's who.
"I heard you the first time. I know who Mark is, I don't know who you are. So your going to have to wait in line."
"You can't help us out to skip this line? I'm good friends with Mark."
"Listen, if your good friends with Mark then you should know how this works. You want to skip the line then you know what to do."
The guy turns and walks back to the end of the line. Then returns with two younger ladies by his side and stands by the side of the entrance. Ten minutes goes by and three people leave the establishment. So I check the i.d. of the next three people in line and let them in. Another ten minutes goes by and four people leave. I check the i.d. of the next four people in line and let them in. Then Pancho walks up to me.
"Hey man, I told you. I'm good friends with Mark. Are you going to do anything for us?"
"I already told you. You should know how this works. You take care of me, I take care of you."
Then Pancho squares his shoulders up with mine and leans his body in towards mine. He raises his voice so others can hear and says, "What?! You want me to pay you to come into this place!?"
The people in line turn and look towards us. "No, you don't have to pay me. You can wait in line."
His voice gets louder, "Man, fuck this!! If we would of stayed in line we'd be in already!"
"That was your choice, not mine."
"So you want me to pay you so we can skip the line?"
"That's how it works buddy."
"Fuck that! Fuck this place and fuck you!!!" Now he takes a step towards me. Just a small step. I'd even go so far as to say a half of a step. "I tell you who my friends are and it means nothing to you!? Then you say you want money from me?"
Now he turns and looks at the two girls that are with him. I reach down and pull my flashlight out of my pocket and wrap my fingers around it so it fits nice and tight in my palm like a roll of quarters. His hand comes up and he points his finger in my face.
Now he's yelling, "Fuck you man!! Fuck you! You don't know who I am!!" And on cue the two 4'8" slender girls wrap their arms around his waist and start pulling him away from the entrance and me. "You just wait mother fucker! You'll know who I am when I come back for you!!"
Then he walks away.
I'm really glad those two girls with a combined weight of 200lbs were able to hold him back. I'm not sure what I would have done if they weren't there.
Of course, I could have kicked him in the balls and then punched him in the back of the head. I could have just put an elbow to his temple. I could have smacked him in the throat. I'm just really glad those to waifs of women were there to hold him back.
The tough guy routine is really over done but I haven't seen it in a long time. It's good to see it occasionally just to be reminded about how absurd it truly is.
I wonder if that means he's got a really small penis?
On a busy night, with people waiting in line, a gentleman walks up past the line. He does the same thing that a lot of people do. He drops a name that isn't all that important.
"Hey buddy, I'm good friends with Mark over at Cookie's Clubhouse. Anything you can do for us?"
"Well, there are people waiting in line over here so there's not a lot I can do."
"Yea, but I'm good friends with Mark. He said to come over here."
Here's what most people don't realize. Most doormen in this area know most of the important people in the industry. We talk to other people and yes, we do go out on some occasions. So we know who's who.
"I heard you the first time. I know who Mark is, I don't know who you are. So your going to have to wait in line."
"You can't help us out to skip this line? I'm good friends with Mark."
"Listen, if your good friends with Mark then you should know how this works. You want to skip the line then you know what to do."
The guy turns and walks back to the end of the line. Then returns with two younger ladies by his side and stands by the side of the entrance. Ten minutes goes by and three people leave the establishment. So I check the i.d. of the next three people in line and let them in. Another ten minutes goes by and four people leave. I check the i.d. of the next four people in line and let them in. Then Pancho walks up to me.
"Hey man, I told you. I'm good friends with Mark. Are you going to do anything for us?"
"I already told you. You should know how this works. You take care of me, I take care of you."
Then Pancho squares his shoulders up with mine and leans his body in towards mine. He raises his voice so others can hear and says, "What?! You want me to pay you to come into this place!?"
The people in line turn and look towards us. "No, you don't have to pay me. You can wait in line."
His voice gets louder, "Man, fuck this!! If we would of stayed in line we'd be in already!"
"That was your choice, not mine."
"So you want me to pay you so we can skip the line?"
"That's how it works buddy."
"Fuck that! Fuck this place and fuck you!!!" Now he takes a step towards me. Just a small step. I'd even go so far as to say a half of a step. "I tell you who my friends are and it means nothing to you!? Then you say you want money from me?"
Now he turns and looks at the two girls that are with him. I reach down and pull my flashlight out of my pocket and wrap my fingers around it so it fits nice and tight in my palm like a roll of quarters. His hand comes up and he points his finger in my face.
Now he's yelling, "Fuck you man!! Fuck you! You don't know who I am!!" And on cue the two 4'8" slender girls wrap their arms around his waist and start pulling him away from the entrance and me. "You just wait mother fucker! You'll know who I am when I come back for you!!"
Then he walks away.
I'm really glad those two girls with a combined weight of 200lbs were able to hold him back. I'm not sure what I would have done if they weren't there.
Of course, I could have kicked him in the balls and then punched him in the back of the head. I could have just put an elbow to his temple. I could have smacked him in the throat. I'm just really glad those to waifs of women were there to hold him back.
The tough guy routine is really over done but I haven't seen it in a long time. It's good to see it occasionally just to be reminded about how absurd it truly is.
I wonder if that means he's got a really small penis?
Monday, October 08, 2007
Have you seen this a$$hole?...
Every bar has one or two or twenty. Most commonly found hiding in bathrooms and a big reason why bathrooms don't have stalls anymore. They travel in packs and are very paranoid of you if you approach them too quickly. They'll quickly pull a knife or start flailing their arms as a defense move. They're usually very wide eyed and they can speak at speeds faster than your ears can comprehend. Their general good demeanor can change into pure temper tantrum in the matter of minutes.
I'm of course speaking of the Cocainious Sapien Snortus.
This creature is very wily and has been to known to go into bursts of stupidity very fast. With their eyes open wide you'd think they'd be able to see the trouble that they are creating but their vooice runs faster then they can think.
They are the masters of not causing trouble. They think this because they are usually the ones getting hit first. This is only due to their mouth rattling off more shit than a person can handle.
They think they are impervious to the common man. They're skin is like an impenetrable force. Only due to the loss of feelings since their body is racing to save their heart from exploding.
At times they can be funny, most of the time they're annoying as hell. Some are flamboyant most are sitting right next to you.
Their most common enemy. Themselves. They have a need for this substance and it can take a person from their peak to the lowest form of thievery.
They're a dangerous lot at times.
So keep your eyes open for these idiots. They seem like they're the life of the party but they'll probably steal the shirt off your back if you let them. Or if it means they get more coke.
I'm of course speaking of the Cocainious Sapien Snortus.
This creature is very wily and has been to known to go into bursts of stupidity very fast. With their eyes open wide you'd think they'd be able to see the trouble that they are creating but their vooice runs faster then they can think.
They are the masters of not causing trouble. They think this because they are usually the ones getting hit first. This is only due to their mouth rattling off more shit than a person can handle.
They think they are impervious to the common man. They're skin is like an impenetrable force. Only due to the loss of feelings since their body is racing to save their heart from exploding.
At times they can be funny, most of the time they're annoying as hell. Some are flamboyant most are sitting right next to you.
Their most common enemy. Themselves. They have a need for this substance and it can take a person from their peak to the lowest form of thievery.
They're a dangerous lot at times.
So keep your eyes open for these idiots. They seem like they're the life of the party but they'll probably steal the shirt off your back if you let them. Or if it means they get more coke.
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