Damn Young'ens...

When I say young'en I mean someone at least 7 years or more younger than myself. An age bracket that I know not to mess with because it's a totally different age. It's the age of drinking and partying and just going out every night. I'm past that stage in my life. I'm out almost every night of the week as it is and I'm babysitting all these kids.

Of course sometimes I get wrapped up in certain ones. I'll admit it, I'm human and worse yet, I'm male. When a little woman comes up to me at work and talks I rarely listen. Unless that talking is being turned into a different direction.

The bad part is, I'm a sucker. When talk gets turned towards the bedroom I rarely even listen. The times I do is when it's early in the night or the person is sober. I tend to ignore when the woman is drunk in any way.

I'm also pretty straight forward about situations. If it's something that might go somewhere I just let things fall and see where they land. If it's something I don't see becoming anything other than a hook up then I make it clear. I've even told girls, "I don't want you to think this is going to became a relationship. I don't want that now." Which basically means with that person. Sex is sex, not much more. I don't want them to get false hopes of a boyfriend.

So the part that annoys me is the ones that are ok with just being "buddies" and then a few weeks later they want more. I guess it's just typical that after a short term of such intimate exposure someone would want more.

That brings on other things. Text messages in the middle of the night. Phone calls in the middle of the day. Occasional appearances at my work. It gets annoying.

For instance. I met this girl. She's all of 23 or 24 years old. She expressed interest in me, we talked and one thing led to another. We hooked up a couple of times and I expressed to her that I didn't want a girlfriend but if she just wanted to hook up that'd be fine with me. No relationship, no ties, just plain old sex upon contact. She's too young mentally for me to take seriously. She also drinks on a daily basis and is a big pot head.

One night at work she showed up. I was standing at the door and she walked in. "Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, what you need?"

"Well, I wanted to talk about us."

"Us? What about us?"

"Well, I'd like there to be more... us."

"So you want to get together more?"

"Well.. I was thinking we could go to dinner and maybe go to a movie or something."

"Why would we do that?"

"Well... that's what couples do."

"Haha... ok, listen.. We're not a couple. Remember I told you I didn't want anything more than a hook up? I'm not interested in a girlfriend or anything like that."

"Yea... I know.. I was just thinking that things might have changed... I mean, I started to like you a lot and I thought we could do some things..."

"Well... no. We can't. I don't have any of those feelings. We all done now? I'm kinda at work and don't need to be distracted with this."

She ended up leaving after that. I don't blame her, I did the asshole thing and basically told her I didn't want anything to do with her. Just like I did when we first got together. Strange thing how some guys say things and mean what they actually say. Too many women go with it in hopes that they'll change our minds down the road.

A couple nights later the text messages start.

Working tonight?

Yes.

I might stop by to see you.

Ok.

Maybe we can talk?

I'm at work. Not a place to talk.

It's ok. I just want to hang out, not have sex.

I have nothing to talk about.

Of course she didn't show up. I turned off the channel of communication because I literally had nothing to talk about. I'm not going to say we can talk and give her hopes that we will. I'm also not going to give her the hopes and then try to just get laid. I'm not that type.

Plain and simple it's the easiest way to be. Ladies, if a guy tells you he just wants to hook up occasionally then believe, that all he wants, is to hook up occasionally. He's not secretly hoping that it could turn into a marriage or even a relationship. Remember this, even if it lasts for 6 months or more. He likes what's going on and how it's going on. If you have a change of heart tell him.


I've only known of a few rare instances where it actually worked out differently.

Late Night Rendezvous...

"So what are you doing after you leave here?"

"Probly heading home."

"You should stop over." She smiled and gave me a little wink from the bright blue eyes that were hiding behind her mop of a haircut. Sally had become a bit of a regular as of late and I've kept the weirdos away from her on a number of times.

"Having a little get together?"

"No, just a couple of people. We'll probably just be sitting around watching movies."

"We'll see, I'm not sure when I'll get out of here."

"Here, take my number. Call me when your leaving and I'll let you know where I am." She smiled and I took her number. Then she walked out with a little over the shoulder smile and a coy wave.


45 minutes later I was done with the things I needed to do. I contemplated whether or not I really wanted to call her. Next sound I heard was Sally's voice on the other end of the line. It sounded triumphant and happy. "So, your gonna come over?"

"Yea, why not. I'll be up late anyways."

"Cool, we'll my address is _______________. It's right over by that old little mom an pop grocery store."

"Ok, I'll be over in a little bit. Lot of people show up?"

"Nah, just my two friends and a couple guys that I don't even know."


25 minutes later I'm knocking on her door. She answers still in the same clothes she had on before. Of course she is, what should she have changed into? We said our hellos, hugged and I walked in.

The apartment was a really nice spot. It had an old building feel and a new building look. In the kitchen stood the two guys that she didn't know. Both in their mid to late 30's and neither of them looked like the could even try to be trouble or their corporate mid level jobs would get rid of them.

We both walk into the kitchen and I introduce myself to the two guys. One recognizes me and the other goes on about how I had thrown him out a year prior. He laughed about the story and I stood there. I remember him after he told the story. I remember even more, how annoying he was.

As I stood there talking to the guys Sally walked off to the bathroom. I could hear her talking to her friends. I could also hear another noise. I sniffing type of noise. Someone was either sick or party favors were being distributed.

"I don't think he'll be interested."

"You never know until you ask."

"I'm not asking him."

About that time a short little portly girl came walking out to the kitchen. As she came walking out she motioned to the bathroom and said, "Party's ready boys." She stopped, wiped her nose and looked at me. "Interested?"

I looked at her and with a blank face simply said, "Not at all."

As the guys walked towards the bathroom I could hear the sniffing continue and Sally walked out. Her hand was coming down from her face and she walked over to me and pushed her friend to the side. "Sorry about her, she's a little different." They giggled and play fought a little.

Sally reached over and grabbed my hand, "So what are you doing?" She looked at me with wide eyes and a grin.

"I was just thinking that I should be going."

With that I grabbed my stuff and started out the door.

Processing of numbers...

It's very rare these days that I entertain the idea of actually going out on a date. I've become very cynical about the concept of dating. There are too many different forms of dating and there doesn't seem to be many people left with the same ideas of it as I have. I guess I'm the old school version compared to the new action packed city version.

I'm not the type of person to date more than one person at a time. It's just confusing and extremely embarrassing if you say the wrong name to the wrong person. It's easier to keep things on a one to one standard. That's not the only thing that's better to have as a one to one standard. I'm not the type to sleep around with more than one lady at a time either. It's just safe practice. Then again, if all women were ladies...

Yea... I'm a doorman, a "bouncer", and I work in bars. Doesn't mean I'm completely stupid, want to fight all the time or need to have sex all the time. Granted.. if I could, I would. Just not with everyone in the neighborhood.

There are certain types or ladies that catch my eye. Like most types of people they usually stick to their neighborhoods or the places that tend to lean to their preference in music and lifestyle. All the different places I work or have worked have never been the type of places that have attracted the type of ladies that I'm more attracted to. Which I guess could be a good thing.

So occasionally a lady will be out of her environment and she'll stumble her way into one of the places I work. I always take notice and still I won't go out of my way to make an impression. I just stand there, check her i.d. and welcome her to the establishment. I'll make a little talk and try to get a smile from her, which works about 80% of the time. After that it's out of my hands. I don't pester her, I don't have drinks taken to her table and I don't keep an eye on her. I just go back to standing at my post and doing what I get paid to do. On a couple of occasions I've had a lady come back up to me and she'll open up a conversation. By the end of the conversation she knows things she wanted to know and sometimes even more. At the end of the night she leaves usually saying that she'll see me soon. Rarely do I see them again.

If they do come back I welcome them to the bar, check their i.d. and act surprised that they are back. I usually do this by bringing up some kind of quirk that we talked about. We talk a little bit and she goes into the bar. When I make it inside she comes up and we talk and I either notice what she's drinking or I ask her. Then later when it looks like she might be getting bored at her table or she might be leaving I ask the waitress to go over and ask her if she wants a drink and that the doorman is buying. Sweet guy, right?

A couple hours later it's last call. She's still hanging out and we've talked a couple times. The lights have come up and it's time for everyone to leave. She walks up and grabs my arm, "How late do you have to be here?"

"Well, I have to get everyone out of here and then clean up a little. Maybe an hour or so until I can take off."

"Oh.. can't someone else do that for you? I really want to hang out with you tonight."

"Well, they could but I'd rather they didn't. How bout we switch numbers and we can hang out tomorrow sometime during the day."

"I'm busy tomorrow but I do want your number. I really want to hang out with you."

She's not comfortable giving me her number so I just give her mine. Then she gives me a little peck on the cheek and she heads out.

I don't hear from her until this night happens.

Typical. People wonder why I get cynical about women.