Saturday, December 31, 2005

Frat Boys & Sorority Girls....

Ah, it's that time of year again. The time when all the college kids come home and bring their friends with them. Yes, it's a great time of year for Frat Boys and Sorority Girls.

I like using the terms, boys and girls, for these kids. They seem to be right in the middle stage of life. At least, that's what I like to believe. It's when they get all excited over little things like a discounted round, a regular comes in and has his denim Misfits jacket on, or whenever a good looking female walks by.

For the past week and a half it's been a parade of college shirts, backward hats, torn up jeans and drunks. The girls are all dressed in their low cut jeans, small and tight shirts, and trying to look much older than they really are.

A week and a half of bad fake IDs, sleeping drunks, and pub crawls.

Even with all this going on, it's been a pretty uneventful week. It's actually been pretty uneventful since the last time I posted. There are really only so many ways you can describe the same events over and over.

The Christmas holiday was pretty uneventful as well. Both places I work were actually closed those nights so I didn't have to put up with the solitary and depressed people at all. It was nice having the few days off and being able to go out myself.

To everyone else that reads this though, I hope your holidays were very good and you had a great time with family and friends. For most, it's the one time of year that you set everything aside and put up with them.

New Year's Eve tonight. Let's see what kind of fun happens.....

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Rock Star Lines III...

"This has never been a problem before."

"You've never walked up with eight people before."

"Oh come on, you can do it for me."

"Listen, ever since you've became friends with a certain person here you've constantly brought more an more people. Stop it. You walk up with one or two people ok, more than that and your waiting in line like everyone else."

"Well, you know he's waiting for me in there."

"I'm sure he is, but he's not waiting for all these other people. Believe me he'll agree with me. I can do you and one but the rest of your group will wait."

At times certain people need to be reminded that they really aren't that special. The rock star line is for friends and family of employees and the bar. It's not to show off to your friends about how great you are or how special you are.

The little blonde leaned in to my ear, whispering, "Come on, don't make me look bad to my friends."

I don't bother to whisper, "Hun, if these are your friends they won't mind waiting like everyone else because they just wanna hang out with you and don't care about the status quo."

At this she rolled her eyes, spun around, and told her group, "Come on, let's go across the street until this line dies down."

Five minutes later, Marvin comes out to the door.

"Hey man, you wouldn't let Mary in?"

"Actually, I would let Mary in. I just wouldn't let her take the seven people that were with her in and she found that to be an insult."

"Whoa, she had seven people with her?"

"Yea man, I told her I'd let her and one in but the others would have to wait but she didn't think that was very nice."

"That's messed up. Oh well, she just called me saying you were being all rude to her and that you wouldn't let her in. She didn't say anything about having all those people with her. Oh well, screw her, she's not that great. Ha, ha.."

Sunday, December 11, 2005

That's him I swear...

"Listen, I understand you have my friends ID."

"Yes I do."

"Ok, I'm here to get that back. I swear that's him on that ID."

"Where's he at?"

Usually, when you get your ID taken from you at a bar from the door person you put up some kind of an argument. I mean, if you don't then you have to take time out of your day to go and get another one and pay for it. If it's really you then put up a logical argument and show other forms of ID to prove who you are. The worst thing to do is just drop your head and walk out.

"He asked me to come and get it back for him."

"Why isn't he here? Your not getting anything from me because this isn't yours at all. If he wants to come back with other forms of ID to prove who he is, then if it's solid he'll get it back."

"Listen, I'm a lawyer, I know you did this just because he's black. I know that.."

"Really, you think it's a racist thing? That's funny, I see about five or six black guys in here, oh wait, look.. there's some asians... uh, some middle easterners... I really don't think you want to go down that road. Besides, if your a lawyer you must know the repercussions for bringing an underage person into a bar."

"Ok, I just want to get my friends ID back for him. I want to talk to your manager."

"That's fine with me."

I get Phil's attention and the guy rattles off his speil to him. Phil tells him the same thing I did, "Tell your friend to come back with proof and we'll gladly give it back to him."

"Mike, why'd you take the ID?"

"To start off, the guy on the ID has had to have his nose broken a few times. That guy had a straight nose. Second, the ID says he's 6'2", that guy was about 5'6". Then when I told him it wasn't him on the ID he just turned and walked out. No argument."

"Good enough for me." Phil turned back to the older guy, "Tell your friend to come back with proof and we'll give it back. Otherwise, the state's gonna get it in a couple days."

The guy stormed off and I stepped outside to see where he was heading. Looked like the group tried to go into another bar down the street and the same guy got stopped by the door guys there.

There was a cop standing there too. Hopefully, the door guys there didn't let him in and he got caught inside. That'd be a nice big fine and closing.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Childish...

"You know yer actin pretty childish. In fact, your actin a lot like an asshole."

Usually when drunks talk to me that I've already asked to leave I ignore them. I walk them out the door or carry them if needed and thats that. When Phil says someone needs to go then they go. I don't question, I just do. If your staggering around leaning on tables with your head down then it's a good sign you need to leave.

I'll be cordial with you and I'll give you time to tell your friends and grab your coat. I won't give you a lot of time but I'll give you a little. This way if you have a tab to close you can. If you need your friend to take you home then they'll know your waiting outside for them.

"You can't let me look for my wallet?"

"Your calling me childish and you don't know where your wallet is?"

A lot of times, I've noticed, no matter how nice to people I am I still end up the asshole. Why? Well, because I won't let you back into the bar to get your friend or look for coats or glasses or wallets or phones or just about anything. Honestly, I don't have to. Once your asked to leave a bar it doesn't mean you can come right back in. Come back the next day or if you have a complaint feel free to call.

"Man, talk to me like I'm your friend."

"Why? Your not."

"See, now yer just being childish agin. I jus wanna find my wallet."

"Listen, I'm letting you wait for your friend here instead of outside. Hopefully he finds it and you can leave."

"No, yer jus being an asshole."

Friend comes back - "I found it. Its cool."

"Man, whys this guy being an asshole?"

"I got your wallet, lets just go. He's just doing his job."

"Man, whas yer name? Imma journalist, man. I'll make sure you get a bad review. Ya know you are bein an asshole. You don't need to. Fuckin asshole."

"My name's Mike. Now get out of my bar."

Friend - "Man, you are starting to be an asshole. We are leaving."

"Ok, so why aren't you moving?"

It's not my problem if you forget something. You do become my problem if you keep trying to get back in. Once your out, your out. I'll let your friend look for your stuff but you don't come back in. I don't babysit people or follow you around at your leisure just so you can waste time inside.

It is amazing how quickly the white collar journalist type are so quick to write up a bad review. Well, I should say threaten to write up a bad review. The funny part is that these guys come to this type of bar to either hide out or because they've heard about the reputation it has. They're the guys that I've never seen in the bar before and are probably only there because they were in the neighborhood after some party or show. Nothing loss there. They're not returning customers anyway.

I think I might lose some sleep waiting for that review. Maybe it'll be so bad that we have to close our doors. Just think, I might get a vacation out of it.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

No more smoky treats.....

" - Chicago is now a smoke-free city. Starting in January you won't see anyone lighting up in most public places. The city council approved a smoking ban Wednesday. The ordinance is a compromise hammered out in negotiations that didn't end until early Wednesday morning."

So it finally happened. Chicago has fallen, we probably will soon too, and it's smoky drapery is going to become a little clearer. This just means that my jobs going to get a little harder. Oh well, if it happens here, it'll just be another reason for people to think of me more as an ass. I can see it now...

"Hey man, can I step out to have a smoke?"

"Sure, but you'll have to wait in line to get back in."

"What? That's bullshit!"

"Oh well, take it up with the mayor."

"Man, you wanna fight?"

So many good times ahead. It'll definitely be weird throwing people out for smoking. Good thing I'll be working so I can come and go as I please.

Hmm, maybe we'll open a patio...

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Posts...

Sorry for not posting as regular. Some things are changing around and this crazy weather doesn't help out much either.

Seems around here that as soon as the snow hits everything comes to a stand still. People drive like idiots, act like idiots and as soon as the sun goes down they go home. It makes for some pretty slow nights.

I do get to catch up on some reading here and there though. Once everyone starts getting used to the weather again I'm sure they'll all be back out in force.

We've also had a new bar open up in the neighborhood so some people think that's why we've slowed down. Makes sense, even though I've heard it's not the greatest. Suits and ties behind the bar and the average age inside being in the late 30's to early 40's. Nothing like it was before it re-opened.

The slow nights do make for boredom. Crossword puzzles and phone calls. It does leave me some time to get other stuff done that I'm working on, or want to be doing things with.

So hopefully, within the next few days there will be many more stories coming about all the drunk and disgruntled. After all, it is the holidays and every one gets a little evil during these times.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Try being nice....

"You know, all you gotta do is just be nice to people and they'll listen to everything you say."

"That's great, thanks for the advice. Bye."

"See, there you go again, you know if you were to say something like, "Have a good night, be safe on your way home' people would leave much faster than you all comin up on us and taking away our drinks."

"I'm sure they would. That's why you and your four friends are still in here and everyone else left ten minutes ago. You didn't hear the announcement over the PA? Cause I'm pretty sure everyone else did and look... They're gone... So now, you need to get out."

"Oh, you think your so big. I bet you think your pretty special huh?"

"Not really. I just have a liquor license to keep here. Which means you have to get out."

"Uh huh, I'm sure."

"Get out."

"Well, it doesn't matter, I'm waiting for someone."

"Get out. They'll be right behind you."

"Who's your manager? I wanna have a talk with him about you."

"Get the fuck out. The bar closed fifteen minutes ago, the lights are on, the music's off and you've been asked to leave twenty times, now just leave."

"No, I wanna talk to your manager. This is fuckin bullshit. "

"You still being here is bullshit. Call and talk to the owner in the morning, and make sure you get my name too ok? It's Mike, not Mikhail, Mica, Miguel, just Mike. Don't worry I'm the only Mike here. The owner will know who I am and make sure you tell him you were in here past closing and being a bitch too."

"Fuck this, I don need this kind of disrespect. I'm leaving."

"Thanks! Bout time!"

"Oh, don you worry, I'm gonna call tomorrow."

"You do that."

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Ranting without the Rave....

It's been a short break since I've posted last. Sometimes I get on a bit of a rollercoaster ride and some things get left behind.

So lately I've basically been trying to get my sleep patterns back into shape. Most of my posts are done after work. I have some saved up just waiting to be posted but I'm going to try and read through them again.

I've had a question raised to me that I've been thinking about a lot lately. "Why do you keep doing this if you know you could be doing so much better?"

The only answer I keep thinking of is that this is a job I like. I've always been that guy who does more for others. To make you happy is to make me happy. Of course, there are lines there that I won't cross. Too much thought to go through all of that right now.

So I decided to put my resume out there. I've heard from many people how hard it is to find a job these days. My usual response to that is that they're not looking. I've always said that if you want a job you'll have one within a week or two.

I love it when I'm right. I have no college degree and I'm definitely not a 'trust fund baby' or even come from a family that has enough money to relax. I put my resume out on the normal job boards on the internet. ( Monster, Careerbuilder, etc.) I've already received two job offers within a week.

Granted, the jobs pay much better and have benefits but they're at least an hours drive away. So I think I might put in for a little vacation and give one a shot. The benefits alone would get me to make the change. Now I just need to make the leap.

It will definitely be different working a real job again. Actually having to be somewhere on time and reporting to someone every night. Sounds weird, most people would run from that and not come back. Well, I thought that too. Circumstances change when the shoe's on the other foot.

Drama's one of the biggest things that I won't miss. The Bullshit -n- Bologna meter has hit a high at work lately. We've been guaranteed that it won't last much longer. This means someone's going to clean house. Cleaning house means a whole new set of rules and people are about to land. New people and rules means everything gets to start all over again.

I guess that's good. It gets rid of the drama and the monotony of work. Even TD was getting tired of work but now there's supposed to be a whole new ball game. There are a few people I wouldn't mind seeing gone.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Bouncing Women...

No, sad enough, I'm not talking about the Juggies on The Man Show.

Tossing ladies from the bar is always a tricky thing to do. Hmm, wait a minute. I think I put that wrong. I've never tossed a lady. Hmm, what word could I use to describe a female that punches, kicks, and tries to claw off your face? I don't dare use the "C" word.

Let's see, how many different words are there to describe a nasty female like this. A female that's willing to kick me in the groin because I'm trying to get her to leave for picking a fight with the bartender for cutting her off. Bitch, whore, bag, puta, ball breaker, crackwhore, butch... not really a big selection.

Anyways. It's always a big thing to toss out a female. Especially since I'm a male. Certain things could be blown up into dastardly deeds. A woman could try and claim that a hand was put in the wrong spot or I'm sure that sexual harassment could be brought to the table as well.

This is why I like to have certain female friends frequent the bar. They don't take any crap from men or women and they know their shit. They could easily take me down quicker than I could even think of how I'd take them down. They have a huge advantage over me. They're women. However, this completely changes when a woman punches me and then tries to go for my face.

At this point you went from a woman to just another person, really fast. With every rule people have in their life there is always a loop hole. One of my biggest rules is that I don't hit women. Then comes the loop hole. If your female and you punch me and try to scratch my face off, your no longer a woman. I won't swing at you unless it's absolutely necessary but once you push me past that limit I will. You come at me with a weapon and I will stop you just like any man.

This night the female was cut off at the bar. When you get cut off your stuck drinking water until either your attitude gets better, you sober up, or you leave. Any really good alcoholic will protest this since they can't live without the booze. So she protested and she protested to the wrong bartender. Kathy is one of the best bartenders at the bar. She's been there almost the longest out of everyone and she will give you a piece of her mind if she thinks you deserve it. So when the female started mouthing off Kathy wasn't afraid to mouth off right back at her. They had their little argument and then Kathy waved for me to take the female out.

"Miss, it's time to go."

"Aww, fuck you, I'm not goin anywhere. I ordered a drink and I want it."

"Your not getting that drink, your leaving. Grab your shit and let's go."

"Fuck you. I'm staying right here."

Not wanting to just grab the female by the arm and throw her out like I do most of the guys I just reached down and grabbed her backpack that was on the floor. When she saw me doing this she shoved me and landed a couple punches in my stomach. Instant reaction for me was to draw my arm back with a fist. Which I shook out the fist and grabbed her backpack.

"Fuck you buddy. Put my shit down, I'm staying."

Kathy then walked back up and the female started yelling at her again. The whole time Phil was there watching what was going on. He walked over and grabbed the chair that the female's male companion was sitting on. She was sitting on the males lap. As he pulled on the chair the male stood up and the female started to fall down.

I quickly hooked my arm around the female's waist and carried her out of the bar. The whole time getting smacked and hit on the back and on the head. Once outside the female kept trying to shove me and she even took a couple swings at me. That's when the police drove by.

They quickly pulled over when they saw her swinging at me and came over. I put my arms together in front of me as if they were handcuffed and then pointed at the female. They walked over just as she took another swing and slapped a cuff on one arm.

Now this female was brilliant. She quickly turned into a sweet innocent little lady and just didn't understand why they were cuffing her. The whole time trying to get away from the cop.

The best part was when the female police officer showed up and finished cuffing and stuffing her. As the woman stood there with cuffs on and the officer opening the back door, she decided to turn and try to spit at me. In her drunken state and high heel boots, she lost her balance and fell straight onto her face. It gave the crowd a nice little show and judging by the laughter everyone enjoyed it.

Friday, November 11, 2005

The ever entering woman...

"What's your name man?"

"Mike."

"Well Mike, I realize it's your job to keep the underage out of the bars. Your doing a great job but Ally needs her ID because she drives constantly for work."

"I guess Ally should have thought about that before giving it to that girl then huh?"

"Listen, she just needs it back, she was trying to help out her sister and..."

"I have two options for you at this point. Option one, I get a squad car to come over here, explain to them what's going on and let them decide, because it's only a federal offense or, option two. You guys just leave."

"Man, come on. I'm a bouncer too, can't you just do one exception?"

"Your telling me your a bouncer at a club and you still bring an underage to the bar? Are you stupid? Where you work?"

"Nevermind man, that's not important."

"Of course not. Get outta here. Now I'm going to walk outside and you guys are going to leave. If not I'll gladly grab the first squad I see."

Throughout the night I probably turn away five to ten people on a slow night. It could be for just about any reason but it's usually because of fake IDs or they're already too drunk to come in. Each ID taken is a story all it's own.

A few nights ago I had a couple come in and I checked their IDs and all was well. Then about 15 minutes later I went outside the door with Frank to have a smoke and bullshit a little while it was slow. A girl came up and gave me her ID and I took a couple looks at it thinking it looked familiar.

Since it's early many people will walk in and see that it's not that busy and leave. If I don't see you leave then I card you again when you come back or if you've been gone for awhile. That's why I took a second look at the ID. I didn't remember this girl leaving.

So I asked Phil to watch the door as I went over to where the girl had walked to. As I walked over I noticed that all of a sudden there were two of them there. So first thought in my mind was that they were twins. The girls did look a lot alike but I only remembered the IDs by the name on them.

"Hello ladies. I need to see both your IDs again."

The first girl pulled out her ID and gave it to me. I looked at it and her and waited for the other girl to get hers. She was very hesitant. The first girl reached for her ID and I raised my index finger for her to wait. The second girl handed me her ID and I compared the IDs. Exact matches.

"Ladies. I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you have to leave now and your not getting these back. The good news is you get to go home early."

Without a single word they turned and walked out the door. I had expected to at least hear some kind of an argument.

I explained what was going on to Phil and left it at that.

People don't realize what kind of trouble they can get into letting others 'borrow' their IDs. Just for letting your younger brother or sister use your ID you could be looking at a year in jail and a
fine close to a few grand.

Doesn't really seem like much until you get busted for it.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Ich Dien...

Sometimes when news travels you hear things you don't really care to hear.

It could be good and it could be bad. It could be something you want to hear. Usually, when the grapevine spits out something you never know what to believe. My father said it best.

"Believe nothing you hear and half of what you see."

Yet, when it comes down to someone you really respect and consider one of your best friends it's different. No matter how that person looks at you now or you percieve them, it's a respect thing. So when disturbing news is brought out it's something you should talk to them about.

Let them know what's going on and let them decide for themselves. If it's something for them to worry about then they will. If they don't heed the warning and decide your full of shit and just toss it to the side then that's their decision. Nothing you can do about it.

It can be a painful thing to do when you come out and talk to them. Yet, that's what life becomes, a series of painful events. Painful in many different ways from physical to mental but that only takes up a small part of the whole experience. There is a lot more to it.

So after you talk to that person, you can only hope that they take it in stride and maybe think about it in some way.

Everyone has something to lose when your life changes in any way. Sometimes it's worth it, sometimes it's not. When it comes to monetary issues it can always be replaced.

I've learned that even though everything becomes lost you always find a part of yourself that you never knew was there. Sometimes that's gaining more than you could ever lose.

I hope the news that I heard was wrong. That person knows now and hopefully that person is doing whatever they decide. Believe me or not but think it over from both views.

Some people will flash big things in order to hide small things. Some big habits are easily hidden between toes. Needles are everyones enemy whether your near them or not.

People come and go. It's life. It's obvious.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

'ello der ladies...

No matter where you work there's always that one guy. Any guy reading this can say that he's known one or two like this. I never really got it. Through some psychological babble I'd probably be told that it'd have to do with some kind of abandonment issues. Which wouldn't make sense since I've never been abandoned. (Well, except that one time... When I fell into that well and had to fight my way out with tweezers at the age of three.... Ok, I totally made that up...)

Anyway, there's always that one guy who does whatever he can for the ladies. He does this expecting, and usually getting, something back in return. Of course, not just any certain lady, one who's body, catches his eye. Now, I won't say that I haven't done it. I've tried to impress a few ladies in my time. Mostly a waste of time for me but Casper has it down to an almost science.

This guy can spot his nightly conquest from a block away. Then all he needs is to see if she's coming his way. He'll comp her a few drinks, maybe entry, and then have someone cover his post as he does his thing. Being higher on the seniority gives him the slight advantages of that.

"Man, thanks for watching this for me. I got her number and we're hookin up when I get out of here."

"No problem man. She's a pretty hot chic, what's her name?"

"Huh?"

"What was her name?"

"Uh, hold on," he pulls the paper out of his pocket that has her number on it. "Yea, it's Sara."

The many stories always seem to start out this way too.
"That chic I met here the other night. Let me tell you..."
"She's that one that was here, I got her a few drinks. Then later we..."
"You know that chic I got in last week, I went and had a few drinks with her after we left here. Man, that girl can..."

A few of us have even thought about starting some kind of a betting system on him. We just have to figure out the odds.

Now, besides all this, Casper is a pretty decent guy. He shows up on time occasionally, he sets up his station once in a while, and if everything goes right he's never the last to leave. All qualities that every one wishes they could get away with.

His stories never cease to amaze. Sometimes his stories make you wonder though. I mean, can women really bend that way? I hate to sound like a novice here but I'll gladly admit I am. Some of the things that he describes just sound like it should be coming from the Exorcist movie or something crazy like that.

I guess I'm in a little awe of Casper once in a while and yet just the opposite at times too.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Brain drain...

This past Halloween weekend has been quite the week killer. Ever since Tuesday the neighborhood has been pretty quiet. Actually, everything's been pretty quiet since the temperature dropped. The Indian Summer is coming though and that should pick everything up for one last hurrah before winter hits.

So I really don't have much to go on about tonight, or today, however you look at it.

I try not to get too personal with this blog for certain reasons. Legally there are way too many things that could possibly go wrong. Let's say I call Ralph an asshole. Well, Ralph could then sue me for slander. Let's say I say something about a coworker and they end up getting fired. That just wouldn't be right in many ways. If I said something about one of the bands, etc, etc, etc...

So basically, the names have been changed and the bar names or anything aren't real, the situations are.

I do work a couple doors in the Midwest. At one place I'm an under paid babysitter and the other I can be a real asshole at times. I take care of those that take care of me and others that I just don't want to see anything happen to them.

I've been told at times that I'm the man but in a good way. What ever that really means, I'm just being who I am. If it's because I make sure you get into a cab when your so drunk you can barely walk or I just drive you home then I guess it's a good thing. I just think I'm one of the rare lion-hearted breed. At times, I wish I wasn't but that's how I am.

My personal situation is all my own. It's something that is deep rooted and it probably won't be talked about much here. My real life is actually pretty boring. After being at work around drunk people four to six nights a week I usually just stay home or stop over at a friends house. I have a different place that I talk about all that great stuff.

Anyways, I'm starting to get tired enough now that I actually think I'm going to crash. I'll have more posts coming up very soon. Within the next couple days I'm thinking.

Til then, be safe.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Later Sparky...

So it was just under three weeks. The scrawny, little, spiked hair, Sparky has left the building. No one really knows why but there's a good guess that the kid got scared.

After a few big shows and having to listen to customers and bands the kid never came back. I guess it was too much for him to make heavy decisions and stand up to people.

I have to admit, when I first started working on a doorstaff it was pretty hard. A lot of people just don't have the backbone for it. You have to be able to make a decision right there and then and stick by it no matter what that person says to you. If necessary you need to be able to back that decision up as well.

I had a feeling when he walked in the door that first day he wouldn't make it a month. The way he stared at the table and floor when he was talking was a big give away. The kid just didn't have the self confidence needed to do the job.

I worked with the kid so little that I actually just noticed that he was gone. From what I was told he had a pretty rough night with some people walking past him and giving him some static and just never came back. He didn't call in and he still hasn't came back for his last check. I doubt he will come back for it. More than likely they'll mail it out to him.

From what I know, under three weeks is a new record for fastest time for either quitting or being fired. Which means ole Sparky will be remembered for something.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Bullsh*t -n- Bologna....

What ever corner you turn there's almost always some kind of bullshit going on. At every job I've ever worked there's always bullshit going on. Sometimes good but usually there are teams set up to play the field. The connivers versus the workers.

Let's take a look at these words.

Connive:
  1. To cooperate secretly in an illegal or wrongful action;
  2. To scheme; plot.
Workers:
    1. One who works at a particular occupation or activity: an office worker
  1. A member of the working class.
Two totally different, opposite ends of the spectrum, words. Yet, they seem to exist within a level of existence that is soon to come crashing down.

Whenever you work at a place where your boss falls for fake people being cool you will always have connivers. These people are pretty much useless. They'll sit around and joke with just the right people.

They might even stop into work early, while the day staff is still around, just so they can find out who the real bosses are. Then they start doing favors for them and get on their good sides. Obviously, the day staff has no idea what's going on at night so they think that person is awesome for showing up so early for work.

Next thing you know, they get the good shifts or a faster advancement because the day boss loves them. Molly and I have never really had a problem seeing eye to eye. The times that we have had talks have always been settled and one of us has seen a point of view that the other did not. She usually understands that she doesn't know what's going on at night. She's never here at night and likes it that way. So once in a while she needs to get an idea of what is going on.

The problem in that is this. If she found out half of the things that are going on then half of the staff would probably get fired. Between the self inflicted habits and people just not doing their jobs they'd be out the door. Including one Sparky that she thought was such a great idea. An update on him soon to come. So sometimes it's better to let things play out the way you want them too.

This is when the other side of the coin kicks in and also how things get a little twisted. There are definitely teams in a sense at any bigger place. Taking the way our little club works it always seems to be the doorstaff versus everyone else.

The doorstaff is basically made up of blue collar workers. We all know how most regular jobs work. You go to work, do your job, and after so long you get rewarded. End of story. Unless your worthless you get what's coming to you. Sometimes you do even when your worthless just not in a good way. Besides all this, when we see someone get screwed over we want to try and fix it. It might take us a while but it gets fixed. Especially when it's someone that we consider part of our team.

Everyone else is basically the bartenders, managers, and the higher ups. The bartenders are usually no problems. Most of them have been doormen before they became bartenders. They know what's going on and don't usually involve themselves.

The manager is pretty pliable. Depending on how you handle them depends on where they are. We keep them out of trouble so they listen but that's never anything to really believe in.

The higher ups are ones I stay away from. These are people you don't want to include in anything. Usually that's where the top dog goes if really needed. The top dog (TD) is the head doorman. TD knows all the higher ups and can state his opinion to them without consequence. If I were to open my mouth to them I'd probably get fired on the spot.

Now the twisted part. This is when you get all the different people going in all the different paths. The connivers become the hunted and the workers becoming the connivers against the connivees. Certain people that want in to see certain friends won't be allowed in. Favors will be hard to get and the connivees will be watched for any certain patterns they start.

It's almost like a well drawn out battle plan. In the nightlife it really is basically all about what people can do for people. Then again, it's also what you can't do for people too. No one really knows what can or can't be done for anyone. We can tell you no and the manager says yes but the manager has to come to us and say yes. We don't have to look for the manager. The inconvenience is there for both the parties, the person wanting something and the manager having to make time for them. We're the middle man, we don't always have what you want.

Some might say that we just get lazy because we won't go look for someone. Guess what, that's not our job. When it comes to letting people in that are on a guest list, this is our job.

"Your on the list, come on in."

OR

"Your not on the list. The cover's $__."

"But I was told I was on the list for tonight."

"Your not, so you can pay the cover or don't and not come in."

"Well, can you get ______? They said they'd put me on the list."

"No we can't. Either pay or don't, your choice."

That's when the person gets all upset and leaves. Which could mean a numerous amount of things could or could not happen. It's just a small slice of enjoyment for us and maybe an eye opener for someone else.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I'm with the band...

When working at the venue we have a pretty tight ship. Granted, we have a couple new guys like Pete, Sparky and Jose but it's pretty tight. For the most part we all know what our jobs are. We are at our stations keeping an eye out for things going on and we check people for band passes.

Band passes are for the performers only, plain and simple. They're not for the girlfriends or wives or any little groupie that comes around. It's done this way so that the liabilities for damage is on those people and those people alone.

A band pass will get you into the stage area, the backstage area, and any other area that might be for the performers only. This means basically that if anything gets broken or stolen from those areas, whether it's our property or yours, blame falls on those people with passes.

Now here's a little thing that I never really understand from those local garage bands that play at times. What makes you think that your special?

National touring bands completely understand that the backstage green rooms are for them and them alone. They know that if they want to take their real life brother back there that they need a pass for him. They know that when they walk up with the two annoying groupies that I will stop the groupies from entering. They know that if so much as a hole is found in the wall of their green room that they will have to pay for it. So there's never a problem with the national touring bands.

Yet, the local garage bands think that the green rooms are there just to take their girlfriends and family and everyone else. They don't seem to think that I will get tired of walking back there and kicking their friends out.

"I find you back here one more time I'm throwing you out of the club."

"Oh, well, we didn't know."

"Didn't see that big red sign that says you must have a pass to be back here? Or didn't you hear me the first time when I told you not to be back here?"

Then they think I don't notice when they hand their pass off to a friend right in front of me.

"Can I see your pass?"

The young lady pulls it out from her back pocket. "Sure. Here it is."

"Miss, did you perform tonight?"

"Sure."

"You were actually in the band and played an instrument?"

"Well, not really. My boyfriend did though."

"Thank you. I'll take that pass." I reach over and take the pass away from her.

"But how's my boyfriend gonna get his stuff out of there?"

"Guess he should have thought of that when he gave you his pass."

Then you have the really slick ones. They think their smooth. They're the ones that walk up with a couple people and talk to me as they motion their friends to walk in. This one's usually a little bit fun because I'll let their friends walk by acting like I'm really interested in what the person has to say.

Then when the person talking to me walks in I give them a couple minutes and I walk in. I go to their dressing room and look in. The person that was talking to me smiles and usually says something about how great of a guy I am. Then I ask for everyone's pass and throw everyone out. I then remind that person that if he/she brings anyone else back without a pass I'll throw them out of the club even if they haven't played yet.

What the garage bands don't realize is this. Most of these bands store their personal stuff in these rooms. Their laptops, phones, ipods, or what ever they don't take on stage with them. Now all the bands that are playing that night have their things back there and there isn't a doorman for each room, there's one. That one doorman is the one that's at the main door leading back to these rooms.

Now if you keep taking a bunch of people back there without passes who's to blame if things get stolen? The club because we let all these people back there without passes or the bands for taking people back there without passes? This is an argument that has happened a few times and usually right in the middle of the argument one of the band members walks out of the room with his girlfriend. A person who wasn't supposed to have a pass but somehow did. Thus, negating the bands argument.

Really, if you want your girlfriend back there or your family then ask for extra passes. It's not that hard, you just open your mouth and ask.

So here's a tip for all the little rockstar wannabe's that are in the toddler stages. If you want to be a rockstar then act like one. Treat your girlfriends / boyfriends / family like rockstars and get them passes too. Don't turn what could be a great night into a big night of hassles. Try to make the night memorable by not being that band that's a pain in the ass. When your a pain in our ass we make you look like an ass. Which is easy.

"What do you mean I need a pass? I'm his wife / girlfriend."

"Well, I guess next time he'll remember that. There have been a few ladies going back there with passes but you have to have one to go back there. You might want to remind him who the important people are." (Of course, those few ladies could be ladies in a different band or the staff or girlfriends of other bandmates or bands. How should I know who they really are?)

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Strong handshakes...

Now this might be a bad idea to post here but I'm really getting tired of constantly posting about throwing people out and how people annoy me. Those two subjects are pretty normal for anyone that has ever worked in the serving industry or in bars or clubs.

The bar I work in becomes fairly popular on the weekend nights. (Friday and Saturday) It's open fairly late and draws a good crowd. So much so that there is usually a line to get in. Sometimes there are anywhere between 5 to 40 people outside waiting to get in. Usually on a busy night it's at least a 20 minute wait but there have been people waiting as long as 35 to 40 minutes to get in. I've never really put together why anyone would wait that long to get into a simple bar. There's no live music, no cheap drinks, no naked ladies, and nothing special about the place. Maybe I just think that because I'd never wait to get into a bar or because I work there.

On nights like these people are always trying to just walk right up and get in. If they're stupid they try to walk past me and the line and open the door. I give these people the benefit of the doubt and point them to the end of the line. Either they go there or they then proceed to tell me one of many different stories.

*Oh, my friends are inside and they told me I could come right in. (They don't work here, I do. Go wait in line.)
*I'm really good friends with the owner. (Oh, what's his name?) Uhm, I think it's Jim. (Cool, I think you should wait in line.)
*My roommate's in there and he/she has my keys. (Call your roommate and tell them to bring your keys out to you.)
*I just really need to use the bathroom. (Sorry, I'm at capacity. You'll have to go somewhere else to do that.)

Now as for the capacity issue. On busy nights I never get to capacity. I always leave a big window for people due to VIP's and employees walking up and wanting in. I have made VIPs and employees wait before. They will gladly just because they know they'll still get in faster than the people waiting in line. I have my list and I always keep that list handy so I know when to start the lines. On most of these nights the list has at least 20 names on it plus their guest.

Some nights there's an offer that even I can't refuse.

A guy came walking up to me one night and asked if there was some way he could possibly get in. I told him there was a line outside and then pointed out where the end of it was. He said he realized that and was wondering if there was any other way that he and his good buddy Andrew could come in. He then extended his hand out as if to shake hands.

I looked down to his hand and then asked how many people he had. He said it would be him his girl and a friend. I laughed and told him that Andrew better have some brothers if he wanted to skip the line.

Pause: Just to clear the air about Andrew. It's come to my attention that some of my readers are from outside of the U.S. Andrew is in reference to Andrew Jackson, the President that is on the 20 dollar bill. Thought I would shed some light on that just in case it wasn't known. I'm not very worldly and have no idea what other countries money looks like so I guess I figure you might not as well.

After a minute or two pause the guy asked me if I had change for a hundred dollar bill. I plainly stated that I don't make change. The guy decided to shake my hand and I gave Ben a new home. I then checked their IDs and let them enter.

This isn't a normal thing really. There are some people that come up occasionally that know the game and it works perfectly. There are others who think five dollars should get them and three of their friends in out of the cold. Obviously, if that's the best you can do to get in then you won't be spending the type of money you should inside the bar.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Interdependent Apprehensions...

Working the front door of a popular bar or club always gives you a bit of local popularity or notoriety. Hopefully more for the first over the second.

The way I look at it the less 'friends' I have the better. Most of the people I meet while working I'll never see other than at work. They'll only really talk and be cool to a doorman, away from his work, if they are regulars or they really want to know you. Out of all the people I've met the regulars are the best.

Then there are the friends of friends. These people are usually pretty cool as well. They're friends of the staff and come in almost as frequently as the regulars. Once they've been in a few times with staff on the staff's days off they get the same perks. Just not as quickly. After all, there is a type of hierarchy going on here.

Then there's Industry. If you work in the industry there are obvious perks when you go to other bars and such. Although, it does matter if the staff goes to your place of work. If I've never heard of it, don't know anyone that works there, or just don't go there then you should get to know somebody. Basically, if you don't scratch our back we don't scratch yours.

This also works the other way around too. If I ever show up at your place I expect the same thing back. If I didn't let you in once then I don't expect you to let me in if I'm in the same state. So all in all someone has to give that break first. If it sounds like a great place to catch a drink or dinner then I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and let you in, as long as you don't have a lot of people with you.

I'll probably ask you what days you work and show up on one your not working. If the foods good or the service is good then I'll show up some time you are working. That's when the game begins. I scratched your back. Now, will you scratch mine?

If your thinking, "This kinda sounds cold," then you've never worked in the serving industry. Servers make very little money hourly. Basically, you survive on your tips and the government gets a cut out of that too. So you get your breaks where ever you can. If you get a good deal from someone you give one back. Scratching backs the whole way through.

Then there's the ladies. There's a popular myth about doormen. I've heard it from many people asking me if it's true. The myth is just that, a myth. Everyone seems to think that because your a doorman you get the pick of the ladies. Definitely not true.

Many times at the door I've been propositioned by females just so they can get into the bar. Granted, as much fun as it sounds it's not really something I'm looking for. I'm not saying that I'll turn down any female that comes around. I'm just saying, why would you offer something like that up just to get into a bar? Offering yourself up like that is a turn off to me.

I can see where the myth comes from. Many times the lady regulars will come up and give me a hug and maybe a peck. Then I let them in the bar before the line. So obviously we must be doing a lot more than just saying hello.

The funny part in that situation is when the other women in line see it. They do one of three things.

Some will walk over, give me a hug and a peck, then reach for the door. Then the line gets a nice little laugh when I thank them for the hug and ask them to wait in line.

Then there are the jokers and talkers. The jokers will laugh about it and joke about it with me without expecting anything, which is fun and sometimes helps them out. The talkers will start heckling me for letting the "whores" in. Depending on the regular, this usually gets them a warning. I basically tell them if they open their mouth again they won't be coming in the bar.

Lastly, there are the women who don't say or do anything. They're just there for some reason and don't really seem to care if they get in or not.

I can say that I fell into the trap before. I tried playing the little game of letting a couple women in a few times just on hopes that something might happen. I played that game and I don't anymore.

Many of my friends and acquaintances have said it before. I'm pretty straight forward about everything. Everything is pretty much the key word there. I've never played the little games that most people play when it comes to "hooking up" or finding a girlfriend. To me, games are a waste of time in that department.

So I have found that it's better not to have a lot of friends. It makes my job easier and I have a lot less things to distract me. Not to say that I don't have opportunities, I just don't go out of my way to find them.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

The Female...

Had a little excitement at the bar. Entailed asking a female to leave. That's about all I can really say right now since there is a court case that I will have to attend.

Phil talked to me about it and the charge is battery. Not on me or anyone at the bar but on the female that we tossed out. We might go but all we were really worried about was just getting her out at the time. I know her face and so does Phil so we know she won't be coming back for a long while.

We'll decide soon and I'll keep it posted.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Extraction...

Everybody loves a good rock show. The intensity of the music live and in your face. The brews going down faster than if you were just sitting at home with the CD or DVD blaring on your home system. The people in the crowd getting all riled up and the jumping and bumping that goes on in the front of the stage.

Anyone who says they'd rather sit at home and listen to one of their many favorite bands on CD than go and see them live is not a true fan. From classical music to punk and everything in between you'd just rather see them live. There's just something about the electricity that fills the air at a live show.

So now I wonder why you'd be an idiot and get thrown out before that band plays.

The venue is a pretty small place to see bands. It's not a huge place and I've talked before about throwing people out. It's pretty routine. You warn them and if they do it again you throw them out. Then it's up to the front door not to let them back in.

How does the front door know not to let them back in? Well, like many venues there's a no re-entry policy. This is pretty self explanatory. If you leave you have to pay to get back in. Granted people are probably thinking, Shit, I'd just pay and go back in. There's a small flaw to that. If you do get thrown out and you pay to go back in and we see you inside we throw you out again. This time through the front door so they know not to let you back in again.

Our front door staff has been around for a while. Most of them have worked other venues before and know what to look for. I won't say that I'm of that caliber because I won't and the other guys have a few years on me.

Basically, they're looking for the guy with ripped clothing, sweaty clothing, and the talker. The talker is the guy that comes walking back up fast to the door and tries to walk right by the staff. He'll go on about how he shouldn't have been thrown out or his jacket is inside or he needs to let his friends know that he's outside. This guy is usually pretty annoying. The fact is simply but hard to process for these guys. You got thrown out. Your not getting back in.

He'll stand there for a long time trying to persuade his way back in but it doesn't work. He'll offer money, he'll offer his ID up as collateral, one guy even bought a ticket off of someone and tried to come back in. Sooner or later you'll get really annoying and we'll ask you to leave the front of the club. When you don't and you go on your spiel about how it's a free country and you have every right to stand there we'll just point to the No Loitering sign on the wall.

When you don't leave then we'll motion to the next available police officer that is patrolling by. We'll explain to the officer that you got kicked out of the club and won't leave. We'll even tell them that we don't want to press any charges for the broken bottles or elbowing an employee or what ever you did to get kicked out if you'll just remove yourself from our sight.

This is when everyone gets to see what kind of a person you are. You could be a complete asshole and try to get us arrested for the way your removed. Try to play the nice guy card and try to explain to the cops that you just want to tell your friends your leaving and they can go in with you. (Which doesn't work, the cops care about that as much as we do.) Then there's the jag off method.

Keep telling the cops that it's your right to stand where ever you want. Then to show them that you know what your doing stand just past the edge of the club. This way your off our property and you can still talk about our mothers. This is the brilliant thing to do. Especially when the cops are still standing there. Sooner or later one of the door staff will get tired of hearing you call his mother a whore or that he's useless or he'll just get tired of hearing your voice. Then comes the slander.

If you want to talk all kinds of shit then that's great. Did you know that you can be arrested just for telling someone to fuck off? You do now. When the cops come over and ask you to move on or risk being arrested don't question them. Move on.

You could be the next contestant on Who's Tiny's Bunkmate...