11 Days to go....

In the spirit of Halloween you have to go see 30 Days of Night. From the clips I've seen it looks like it's going to be one of the best horror movies released lately. I don't count remakes because all they're doing is putting a new spin on old information.

Here's the trailer.



It looks like a great spin on the old vampire tales. The last have come to breed. Will they succeed?

I'll hopefully be able to see it soon if my weekend isn't too busy with work. If you have seen it feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you thought of it.

Also check out Horror Movie Online for more interesting articles about horror movies, reviews, and industry news.

12 days til....

Driving...

"Mike, you have to pull over. We've been driving for at least 5 minutes."

"I don't have to pull over until I feel comfortable pulling over."

"Your gonna get arrested."

"For what? I'm not speeding any more... and I'm waitin till I come up to some street lights."

"I'm sure your just causing more of a scene."

"Yea, cause out here in the middle of no where there's a lot of people to cause one for."

A while back I went on a little road trip with a friend. We had to hit a couple highways to get where we were going and these roads went right out to the middle of no where. Every 5 or 6 miles you might see a house off in the distance. As per the norm, I was speeding. I don't think I ever go the actual limit anyways so it was about time for me to get caught.

Somewhere along the line a cop caught me with his radar and his lights popped on. I wasn't about to just pull over in the middle of no where without any lights around. So I kept driving until I found one. I think I found a street light after about twenty minutes. I pulled over just pass the light so that the police cruiser could pull under the light. I got my insurance card and license out and got ready for the questioning that I knew was about to begin as the officer tapped on my window. I rolled down my window and waited.

"How are we tonight guys?"

"Doing just fine officer."

"I was wondering if you had forgotten about me back there. Any reason why we waited so long to pull over?"

"Sorry, new to the area. Just wanted to get to a place where there was a little light."

"That's understandable. Can you step out of the car sir."

I stepped out of the car and walked with him to the trunk of my car. We stood there for a little bit and after a few more questions about where we were going I got a little surprise.

"So... I'm gonna see you at the little get together then right?" I just stood there looking at him. "You said your in town for a little get together with friends right? I'm guessing I'll be there as well."

Then I took a hard look at his name tag. Not really sure why I hadn't before, it's usually common practice for me. "Holy shit. When did they let you become a cop?" A grin came out from both of us we shook hands. "I haven't seen you in a long ass time."

"Yea, well after the shit we used to pull I figured I'd be the best at catching the new kids."

We stood there and talked for at least another half an hour before he noticed that my friend was getting anxious. "Looks like she's bout to spring a leak," he said as he nodded in through the back window.

"Eh, let her. She thinks I was trying to cause a scene by making you follow me."

We talked a little while longer and then we said our good byes. I got back in my car and he drove past us down the road.

"What the hell was that all about? I thought you two were gonna make out or something."

"Oh that? That was a good friend of mine. He was hopin you'd have to piss so much he'd get to use his tazer on ya." I had to chuckle a little with that image flashing through my head. Her jumping out of the car bitching for us to hurry up so she could to the bathroom. Then him getting startled, or annoyed, and pulling out his tazer and using it on her.

"Yea, what ever. Hurry up and get me to a bathroom will ya?"

"There's plenty of trees and corn over there." With that I got an eyeballs through the roof of her skull look.

"I know your joking. Drive."

I had a feeling that whole friendship was a joke after that. Sometimes it's good to remember where your from and where your going.

Skin Head or Shaved Head....

Since when is it a fact that your a White Power piece of shit just because you have a shaved head? I've never understood why anyone in this day and age thinks that. A shaved head is nothing more than a different type of hair style. Which really doesn't make much sense since there is no hair involved.

I know a few doorguys who shave their heads for a basic reason. No hair means there's nothing for someone to grab a hold of in a situation. I can fully understand this just from my own experiences of grabbing heads full of hair and having mine grabbed. When there's no hair to grab it's a little harder to get a good hold on someone in that way.

It's good at times for weeding out the assholes. Especially when they walk up to the door and open their mouths to a doorguy with a shaved head.

"Hi guys, can I see your i.d.'s?"

"Sure thing brother," man pulls out wallet and takes out his i.d. Looking at his friend, "This must be a good place for our brothers."

I look up, "You have family in from out of town?"

"No man, I mean for us. None of them black types in here right?"

"I'm sorry, what do you mean by 'black types'?"

"I guess I mean any one that's not white."

"Yea.. you might want to try a different bar guys. We don't discriminate our customers. Every one is equal here."

The guy just stood there staring, "It's cool man, I just figured since your head looked so clean.."

"That I'm some kind of piece of shit? Take a walk guys, I can't let you in here."

They stood there for a little bit and walked down the street. Yelled a few racist remarks at some guys on the corner and disappeared.

I just don't understand that mentality, even with 3/4's of my family being from the south. I know in some areas of the world it's still a common problem but it's rare that it comes up here. If I can deter it in any way I'm more than happy to. If I could take all those people and re-write their brain functions I would. Sadly, there has to be some people that are still ignorant and like to defecate from their mouths.

Then again, there are still people on the other side of that fence that think it still. I've had black people come up and give me shit for having a shaved head also. They walk by and say things about how they would come to the establishment but it doesn't look like they're welcome. Or they just throw out insults with out even knowing who they're insulting. They don't even realize that I just didn't let in two white power assholes because I don't believe in that.

The world has two sides to everything. There's a good and bad to just about every type of person there is in the world. Until you know who or what that person is how can you decide who or what they are? Is it your power to do so?

Granted, a good doorman can recognize most of the different types of people. It doesn't mean that they are 100% correct in everything they decide though. There is always a chance that they are wrong. I'll admit that I have been wrong in certain cases but that's not something anyone really wants to bring up. Not because anyone wants to admit that they were wrong but just because it doesn't look good.

No one's perfect but you can stop yourself from being a complete piece of shit at any time.

Same old song...

I hear "same old song" and a couple things come to mind. The first is a song by Aerosmith titled Same Old Song and Dance. The second is the old saying, "It's just the same old song and dance."

My father used to say it to me all the time. Especially when I'd walk in the front door after midnight on a school night.

"Where you been all night boy?"

"Well, we were coming back from town and we had a flat tire."

"Yea, right. Just the same old song and dance with you isn't it? Get your ass to bed before I put the belt to it."

My old man was never one to really stand up to when I was a kid. In my later years I realized that if I didn't stand up to him, I'd never stand up to anyone. He was the strongest and meanest person I had ever known to that point of my life. When I did finally stand up to him I knew I could stand up to just about anyone.

It seemed like the only time he ever used the song and dance saying was when I was trying to explain things. I'm not sure if he tried to do that to see if I'd change my story or if he just didn't care what I was saying. Either way he had already passed judgment before I had even gotten home. He was good for that. He thought he knew all the tricks of the trade and that he had pulled all of them on his father. What he didn't realize was that I never had a reason to lie to him about most things. Not to say I was a perfectly honest kid, I lied about plenty of things, especially when it came to grades.

He was a stickler about math. He used to say, "Who the hell cares who won the Russian Revolution. You think you'll need that information when your 30 and working a job? You don't get your grades up in math and you'll be wishing you never even knew where you lived."

A lot of people thought my father was an mean old asshole. I thought he was a piece of shit for many years but in the end I realized he was the way he was because that's how he thought he had to be. He grew up in the colored and poor area of Kentucky. The house he grew up in was smaller than the typical studio apartment you might find in a city. There were four people living in that house too.

Then he was in the military and the strict lines of order were all around him there as well. He wasn't in todays military. He was in the military that could punch you in the face for not keeping up with the rest of the group. From the stories he'd wake me up in the middle of the night to tell; he had his fair shares of punches.

From his stories and the stories I've heard from other family members he definitely earned the punches that he got. He was a hell raiser and he never really stopped doing that. Even when he had to make shit up.

Now I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses for the way he was. You haven't even heard any of the stuff he really did. He was an asshole to a lot of people. There are a lot of people now that, if they were asked about him, would say he was an asshole but he had his good sides too. Most people try to even out their lives, he didn't really care what you thought. He knew what he had to do or wanted to do and he did it. He hurt a lot of people both physically and emotionally in the process. Part of me thinks that he thought those people were weak. That they couldn't handle it because they just weren't up to par. Or maybe he just didn't care about anyone unless it affected him. I can understand that point of view. It's been mine for a few years now.

No matter how anyone looks at the way their parents were, I still think that a person is who they are today because of their parents and themselves. Your parents can only put so much into you. At some point of your life you take over and start making your own informed decisions. They can tell you about the things that happened to them but you don't have to listen. You can listen to everything they say and turn out to be a clone. You could listen to only the parts that you want to and then use your own judgment and turn out to be who you are.

Sure, there are a lot of abusive families out there. It doesn't mean that every kid is going to turn out that way. It also doesn't condone the parent's actions for being abusive. I'm just saying that we are who we are and we make ourselves that way with or without the help.

My father passed away a few years back very close to this date. He was stubborn and an ass up to the very day that it happened. I know he regretted a lot of things in the last couple of years of his life. He looked back at the things he did and tried to fix some of them. Years of his behavior couldn't be fixed in that short of time. I think he realized that and that's why he choose not to say anything to anyone about his illness. If he recognized that it was there then he had already given up. In his mind only the weak gave up.

He didn't want anyone to know that he was weak.

I thought for many years that I was partially invincible. Then I spent a few days in the hospital and it scared the life almost fully out of me. I was trained mentally to think I wasn't weak and that nothing could happen. I remember coming out of that hospital and realizing that I wasn't as strong or resilient as I thought I was. It still effects me partially today. I'm not the man I was but I am a man different in many ways. I'm no longer the superman that would ride on the roofs of cars doing 30mph through parking lots or jump from roof to tree. I am the man now that will do as he wishes and if necessary I'll do what I have to. I feel much older than I am.

So I wonder every once in a while what he would think these days. I wonder if he would be proud of the way his son turned out. Then I decide that it doesn't really matter. I live the way I want to live and even though I would go to him for advice at times, I can usually hear what he'd say to my questions.


"Just the same old song and dance with you isn't it? What is it you really want to do?"

Hustle...

I was jumping around on Youtube and found some interesting videos from a show that airs on BBC Three called The Real Hustle.

The clips that I found are pretty interesting and informative for people that keep an eye open for such things. Then again, half the people that go out think the place their at is just as safe as their home. There are stupid people setting their phones, wallets, and purses down everywhere and for some stupid reason they think they're safe.

Wake up people. There is always someone out there to get you. I'll expand on that in future posts or you can check out this one that I posted a while back. My purse... or rent?

So here's a couple of the clips that I found on Youtube. If they interest you there's a lot of them on there. Just go to Youtube and search for Real Hustle and you'll find them all.

BlueSnarfing


Proposition Bet


How to Get Free Drinks 2

Cynicalities I...

How many times have guys been made fools of for the sake of women? Some people might think that it's normal and that's just how it works. Some guys think it's ok because it's cute. Well, what about when it's not cute anymore?

I've seen some interesting things when it comes down to the pursuit of momentary happiness. I've seen guys get put into fights and guys get brushed off like dandruff. I've also seen guys get brushed off like dandruff after getting into a fight for some woman they didn't even know.

It's just funny to me how guys can be turned around and led astray without much trouble. It's been known for decades that women have more power over men so I'm not saying anything untrue. I've been in that situation as well many years ago. Then I became cynical and I'm now waiting to see if there is a woman that can prove me wrong.

Now I'm not going to sit here and say that every woman is like that. In fact, I'll say that about 70% of the women I know are not like that. They're also women that I wouldn't see myself getting all caught up over. I'd help them out if they needed it but other than that I don't think I'd go far out of my way for them.

I just find it funny how some guys will go out of their way to try and stand up for some woman they don't know. What is there to gain? A roll in the hay? A night of pleasure? Really? Is it that big of a deal? Hey, I'm a guy too and I don't mind a good night of sex but it's not that important to me to find some woman I don't even know. Consider this, if she's willing to put you through hoops to give it to you then she's been willing to do that to just about any guy.

Two things I've remembered over time.

• No matter how gorgeous a woman is. Some guy is tired of her shit.
• When kissing a woman you don't know. You might be kissing the guy she just went into the side alley with.

Mornings....

It's always interesting when you walk out of work. It's usually daybreak by the time we get out. The birds are chirping and there are people heading off to work, the normal joggers and the dog walkers are out as well. It's a total switch from night to day in the matter of an hour or two.

Every time out the door it's the same. We all stand out front and talk while we wait for cabs to come by and we set the girls off to their homes. Some of the guys walk the girls to their cars and then it's our turn to take off and go our separate ways until the next night comes again.

After everyone's accounted for I start walking the three or four blocks to my car as I usually do. I usually park this far since parking is limited near the establishment and it's good to get that little walk in after work. I also like parking that far away so it's harder for any past conflict (aka assholes, douchebags, etc.) to know what I'm driving and to damage what little bit of a fine running automobile I have. Some people tell me not to be so paranoid but I know what can happen.

I hate for this to come out as some kind of Roadhouse situation but it has happened to me before. I've worked in places where I'd park close because I was running late and then later there would be a problem and somehow my car ended up on the receiving end. I've never gotten a stop sign in my front window but I have had flat tires and words scrawled on it. Through out time I've learned to not park close to work and I've started getting there earlier so people don't notice me getting out of my car. It's just better for my car and my wallet if I do.

It's been a long time since anything like that has happened and I am knocking on my cheap fiber board desk which I'll now dub as "wood" as a safety precaution.

In fact, I think it's been at least two or three years since anything like that has happened. Even then they just wrote a few encouraging words on the drivers door of the car. I found it funny and the other guys I worked with at the time took it a little more personal than I did. I never let little things like that bother me. I figure that if they really knew me they wouldn't be doing it.

I've never been the type of person that takes things personal. It's just not worth my time or effort when it comes down to it. Of course, if it had been someone I knew and they knew me then it's a totally different ball game.

This morning as I walked to my car everything seemed the same as normal. Nothing out of place and lots of joggers. It's nice not having to worry about things happening and sometimes thats worth more than having things happen just so there's something interesting to say.

Then again, when nothing is happening it gets to be pretty boring as well.

Adsense or nosense...

Every once in a while I take a look at the ads that Google puts on my page. I opted for the ads because I figure if people actually use them and I can make a few bucks here and there it's not a bad thing. After 6 months I've made a penny. So they're not really worth it to me. They do offer a bit of eyebrow raising and thought occasionally.

They change fairly often since they're supposed to go through the posts and find prevalent topics to offer search options for. Yet, I don't think they're working very well. Or they're working in the exact opposite way.

For instance, here are the ads that I see now as I write this.

Ads that make no sense: Friend Poems, Quotes, Love Letter Poems, Romance Poems, Poems about Women, The Power of Nice, Bring Back Lost Love, Romantic Love

Ads that make sense: Deal w/ Difficult People, Workplace Issues

So I guess 2 out of 15 isn't too bad....

I've been looking at a few different sites that offer payments for postings and other types of advertisement options to make a little cash. I figure if people only have to click on something and it offers something they want to look at and it doesn't bother their pc, then what's to lose? We both win.

So in a few days I'll more than likely have some new eye candy on the side of the page. Maybe I'll actually make enough for a cup of coffee before work. Who knows.. maybe even a steak dinner. Ok, I'm getting a little far ahead of myself there.

I wonder if any newspapers would be interested in a doorman's opinion column? It might go well in a Nightlife section. Ha ha!! Yea.. I don't think the world really wants to know what doormen and club security personnel think of them. If they did there'd be a lot more blogs and columns out there about us. Then again, the world thinks we're all muscle bound idiots.

More to come.

Do you know who I am!?...

There's always that one guy that thinks he's the big shot. He thinks he knows all the right people and he thinks he goes to all the right places. Sometimes reality sinks in.

On a busy night, with people waiting in line, a gentleman walks up past the line. He does the same thing that a lot of people do. He drops a name that isn't all that important.

"Hey buddy, I'm good friends with Mark over at Cookie's Clubhouse. Anything you can do for us?"

"Well, there are people waiting in line over here so there's not a lot I can do."

"Yea, but I'm good friends with Mark. He said to come over here."

Here's what most people don't realize. Most doormen in this area know most of the important people in the industry. We talk to other people and yes, we do go out on some occasions. So we know who's who.

"I heard you the first time. I know who Mark is, I don't know who you are. So your going to have to wait in line."

"You can't help us out to skip this line? I'm good friends with Mark."

"Listen, if your good friends with Mark then you should know how this works. You want to skip the line then you know what to do."

The guy turns and walks back to the end of the line. Then returns with two younger ladies by his side and stands by the side of the entrance. Ten minutes goes by and three people leave the establishment. So I check the i.d. of the next three people in line and let them in. Another ten minutes goes by and four people leave. I check the i.d. of the next four people in line and let them in. Then Pancho walks up to me.

"Hey man, I told you. I'm good friends with Mark. Are you going to do anything for us?"

"I already told you. You should know how this works. You take care of me, I take care of you."

Then Pancho squares his shoulders up with mine and leans his body in towards mine. He raises his voice so others can hear and says, "What?! You want me to pay you to come into this place!?"

The people in line turn and look towards us. "No, you don't have to pay me. You can wait in line."

His voice gets louder, "Man, fuck this!! If we would of stayed in line we'd be in already!"

"That was your choice, not mine."

"So you want me to pay you so we can skip the line?"

"That's how it works buddy."

"Fuck that! Fuck this place and fuck you!!!" Now he takes a step towards me. Just a small step. I'd even go so far as to say a half of a step. "I tell you who my friends are and it means nothing to you!? Then you say you want money from me?"

Now he turns and looks at the two girls that are with him. I reach down and pull my flashlight out of my pocket and wrap my fingers around it so it fits nice and tight in my palm like a roll of quarters. His hand comes up and he points his finger in my face.

Now he's yelling, "Fuck you man!! Fuck you! You don't know who I am!!" And on cue the two 4'8" slender girls wrap their arms around his waist and start pulling him away from the entrance and me. "You just wait mother fucker! You'll know who I am when I come back for you!!"

Then he walks away.

I'm really glad those two girls with a combined weight of 200lbs were able to hold him back. I'm not sure what I would have done if they weren't there.

Of course, I could have kicked him in the balls and then punched him in the back of the head. I could have just put an elbow to his temple. I could have smacked him in the throat. I'm just really glad those to waifs of women were there to hold him back.

The tough guy routine is really over done but I haven't seen it in a long time. It's good to see it occasionally just to be reminded about how absurd it truly is.

I wonder if that means he's got a really small penis?

Have you seen this a$$hole?...

Every bar has one or two or twenty. Most commonly found hiding in bathrooms and a big reason why bathrooms don't have stalls anymore. They travel in packs and are very paranoid of you if you approach them too quickly. They'll quickly pull a knife or start flailing their arms as a defense move. They're usually very wide eyed and they can speak at speeds faster than your ears can comprehend. Their general good demeanor can change into pure temper tantrum in the matter of minutes.

I'm of course speaking of the Cocainious Sapien Snortus.

This creature is very wily and has been to known to go into bursts of stupidity very fast. With their eyes open wide you'd think they'd be able to see the trouble that they are creating but their vooice runs faster then they can think.

They are the masters of not causing trouble. They think this because they are usually the ones getting hit first. This is only due to their mouth rattling off more shit than a person can handle.

They think they are impervious to the common man. They're skin is like an impenetrable force. Only due to the loss of feelings since their body is racing to save their heart from exploding.

At times they can be funny, most of the time they're annoying as hell. Some are flamboyant most are sitting right next to you.

Their most common enemy. Themselves. They have a need for this substance and it can take a person from their peak to the lowest form of thievery.

They're a dangerous lot at times.





So keep your eyes open for these idiots. They seem like they're the life of the party but they'll probably steal the shirt off your back if you let them. Or if it means they get more coke.

Happy Birthday... Dick...

I see about 200 to 400 different i.d.'s a night. I look at the face, weight, height, expiration date, and the birth date. If it's not the 21st year (the year you have to be born in to be 21) I don't really look at the day.

For example: This is the year 2007, in order to be 21 years of age you had to have been born in the year 1986 on todays date. If you were born on Dec 12, 1986 then your still 20 years old and I'm not letting you in until Dec 12 comes around.

So does it really matter to me that it's your birthday? No. Honestly, I don't care. It doesn't matter to me at all whether it's your birthday or not. The only thing that matters to me is that your old enough to be in the establishment.

On an average night there's three or four people celebrating their birthdays. Half of them can make it in the place the other half are already too wasted to come in. I have no problems stopping a wasted person from coming into the establishment when they can barely stand up. Birthday or not.

It amazes me that people actually think that a doorman doesn't look at your birth date just because he doesn't make a big deal about it being your birthday. Who are you again? Oh that's right, your just a guy that walked in with a very few friends. Your not a regular and your not anyone really important. Your a customer just like the other 100 people that walked in earlier. The year is what's important not the day. The only time the date is important is when it's your 21st birthday. You should be used to that already.

I guess if your night has been going really well then you might smile and ask if I noticed the day. Then I'll look and say happy birthday. If your having a bad night you might complain to your friends that the doorguy didn't even notice.

Either way I don't know you so I probably don't care.

Shift Pick Ups...

Lately I've been picking up a few more shifts at a couple places. I've been pretty bored so I figure the best thing to do is just work. Even if it's doing the same thing over and over day and night. After all, how else am I going to afford that 74" flat panel high definition television?

Wait... Do they even make them that big?

One of the biggest differences I've noticed from working nights that I don't usually work are the people. It's a different crowd of people that show up on my off nights then the nights that I do work. It's a lot of people asking where Matt is and giving me the "Matt doesn't card me" spiel. Which, after you hear it a hundred times, gets really annoying and people get the "Show your i.d. or leave" answer. Which in a sense is good because now next week, when Matt gets back, he'll hear about how much of an asshole I am and how great he is from his regulars.

"Matt never cards me." The girl sets her purse down on my chair and starts to dig through it looking for her i.d.

"Sorry, need to see it because I don't know you."

She stops looking through her purse and looks up at me, "I don't think I have it with me."

"Come back when you have it."

"That's ridiculous, Matt knows me and always lets me in without carding me."

"No i.d., no entry. Bye."

It's great working different nights sometimes as well. The nights are slower and there's a lot less hassles. There are times that I wish I worked those nights but I know I'd get really bored really quick. A bored Mike is a Mike that looks for something else to do. So I guess it's probably in my best interest to not work the slower nights. Occasionally is fine with me.

The slower nights means I basically just sit on a stool inside the door and read the captions to what ever is on the t.v. Sometimes I catch up on some reading and if it's really slow there's the chance of playing scrabble or chess. It's rarely that slow though.

Unassertive Encroaching...

No matter what you will always run into a person that is unassertively encroaching (aka: passive aggressive) They don't like to speak up about things that bother them. They'll sit back and hold in all their little complaints until they're a powder keg and then let it all out at once. This is not healthy in any means. Is it really worth it to let all that stuff build up inside you?

"Man, I just can't believe the type of stuff that goes on here."

"Well, you know who to talk to if somethings going on and it shouldn't be."

"Yea, but it's not my place to say anything."

"If it's bothering you then your the only one that can say anything."

"I just don't want to cause any waves."

They push things back and keep it in because they're scared to hurt feelings. I think the hurt feeling is there so that it can be used. Just like the other feelings like happy, sad, pain, ecstasy, and all the other dwarfs.

"Listen, if you don't put it out there then no one's going to know. So do something about it and don't just sit here and wallow in yourself..."

People that aren't able to get their feelings out tend to turn them inside. They get upset with themselves and with the events that are going on. They put themselves in a type of depression that is only lifted after they've burst.

"...If you don't let it out your just gonna make yourself miserable."

"Nah... I'll be fine."

"No you won't. You'll be bitchy until you get it out and then you'll just blow up."

"Yea, but things change then."

"Only for the next week because no one wants to talk to you. Then it starts all over again."

"It does seem that way..."

"That's because it is that way. So start telling people what you think at the time and quit worrying about hurting feelings. That's what they're there for."

Now here's the one thing I find interesting about passive aggressive people. They bitch and moan about something not being done and then when a solution for it is found they only do the solution for a short period of time. After that they quit doing it and the problem resurfaces all over again.

It really is a vicious circle that they can break out of but choose not too. Why not? They like the attention. They like knowing that people are talking about them even if it is in a bad way. That way they can feel sorry for themselves even more. If they're lucky they'll get some sap that will stick around and feel sorry for them too.

Then the question is, "Who's worse?" The passive aggressive or the idiot that sits around and puts up with their bullshit and praises them to make them feel better.

Invisible...

Being a doorman at a popular establishment is strange. While your at work everyone wants to know you and they see you clearly. When your not at work your pretty much invisible to everyone. Which is actually pretty nice. Lots of people have two different types of memory functions. The sober memory that remembers to take the dog to the vet and the Drunk memory that remembers what the doorman's name is and what he looks like. So most people have their sober memory working during the day and I stay invisible to them if they actually see me.

Sometimes I'm even invisible to some people when I'm right in front of their faces.

"What do you mean Mike's not here?" The woman speaking to me wasn't all that ugly. Her body had a great form with all the curves in the right places. "He better be here, or he ain't gettin any tonight!"

This just made me think, Who the hell is this chic?? I figured she was just trying to make a spectacle so that I would feel uneasy and let her in. "Listen, do you even know who Mike is?"

"I should. He's my baby's daddy." Now it really became interesting.

"Well, could you describe him to me? I haven't met him yet but I hear he's a real big shot around here."

"I don't have to describe anyone to you. If you don't let me in now you won't have a job tomorrow."

At this point the other people in line are all looking and I can hear some of them mumbling about. This woman was just getting louder with everything she said. Then she started to walk up to the door.

"Listen honey..."

"Don't you even honey me.."

"Listen, if your not with this Mike person that supposedly works here I can't let you in. Your gonna have to wait."

"Oh.. that's it. You ain't gonna have a job tomorrow!"

Just then, as if on cue, Megan walked up with a couple of her friends. "Hey Mike, I just have a couple friends. Think we can squeeze in?"

"Of course hun."

I turned to the loud mouthed woman and smiled. She stood there looking at me with her mouth wide open. "Miss, you never asked me what my name is. I don't know you so either wait in line or leave."

"That's just bullshit! You let me go on like that in front of all these people!?" she said as she spun around and started walking away. The crowd of people started laughing and she started telling them all to shut the hell up as she walked away.

It's funny how people never notice you until they want something from you. There are some people that know how to work this game and there are those that don't. Name dropping rarely ever works. The one time that it does guaranteed is when your a friend of an employee and that employee actually says something to the door staff about you showing up. Most other ways don't work at all.

Still the best way to slip into a place that has a line is hard cash. Just don't be cheap about it. If you want to act like a big man then pull out the big dollars, especially if you have people with you.

I still go out in the neighborhood occasionally and I take notice of the people that I meet at other establishments. If I see you enough then I help you out. I don't even expect you to do it for me, I could care less. I'm not about to shell out money to get into a place but I'll get into that at a different time.

I find it weird but comfortable that people don't recognize me while I'm out. It's kind of nice knowing that people don't notice me when I'm not at work. I've sat and had drinks with people I've thrown out before and listened to how they thought that "bouncer" was an asshole. Then I go on about how the guy is just doing his job and they agree. Sooner or later it comes out that I'm that asshole and everything is fine. They come back to the establishment and they're more aware of how I do things.

Now I just need to figure out how to work this invisible feat for personal gain.

So your tough huh?...

Over the weekend a friend of the establishment came in. She's in her late 20's and she's a very good sight to see. She's always smiling and she just seems to put people in a good mood. This night she walked up with her head slightly lowered and she wasn't as cheerful as she usually is. She just put her hand up as if to wave and said hello as she walked in.

I stepped in behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around quick and her eyes were wide open as if she was scared. "Hun, what's wrong?"

She put her hand up to the right side of her temple and looked down again. "Nothing, nothings wrong."

I reached up and slowly pulled her hand away from her face and looked at it. Her eye was swollen and there was a bandage on her temple. I bent over and gave her a hug and asked in her ear, "Who did this?"

She started to breath deep and I waved Casper over to watch the door. "I don't know, it just happened all at once. It was so quick," and she started to cry.

"When did it happen?"

"A few days ago, I didn't want you to know. Your always telling me not to walk alone."

"Did you get a look at him?"

"Yea, but he didn't get caught."

"You tell me if you see him. I'll return the favor to him."


One thing that really gets to me about women that leave the establishment by themselves is the fact that they leave by themselves. They leave alone and think they're perfectly safe to walk the 5 or 10 blocks to their home.

Really? You really think your so tough that no one is going to mess with you? Just like any other night club the place that I work at is surrounded by bums, gangbangers, and people that are desperate to get their fix. They'll do what ever they need to do to get the fix that they need whether it's heroin or rent money.

Here's the deal. If you go to a late night place with friends then leave with your friends. If your friends aren't ready to leave then take a cab home or to your car. The last thing I need is to find out you left my establishment and got mugged or raped. If you want me to get you a cab then ask me to and I will. That's a part of the game for me, I'm here to help as well as keep order.

And for all the ladies out there that say they can handle themselves. Prove it. I don't doubt that there are women out there that can, I know there are. I'm just saying to all the women out there that have the typical 9 to 5 and think life is grand. Life can change in the matter of a minute.

If you really think you can handle yourself then imagine what it might be like if a 6'3" 310lb man ran up behind you and grabbed you. Do you really think you could get away from him? Don't bother yelling rape because how many people in a big city is going to run out to help you? Not many. Your better off yelling fire or a celebrities name to get people's attention.

The man doesn't even have to be that big. He could be 5'9" and 180lbs. If he pulls a knife or a gun what are you going to do?

I only say to travel in a group because it's less likely that you will get attacked in that fashion. Typically a person isn't going to attack a group of people. Once in a great while you might get a junkie that will need his fix but with 2 or more people you should be able to fend him off.

I know your probably sitting there thinking this scenario through and what you might do but you never know what you will do until that time comes. You can practice all you want but you won't know if you'll use that until it actually happens. Fear is a bad and good thing. It can fuel your power or take it away in a second.

I try to keep up to date on occurrences in the area. The cops stop by every once in a while and let me know if they're looking for anyone and anything that has happened lately. They know that I'll do my best to warn people and try to keep them out of trouble. Whether they listen or not is up to them. I've even gone the extra step to actually hold someone to see if they can get away. It's changed a few minds about walking alone.

Besides, when you hear a story about someone getting raped after they left a certain place; would you want to go there?

Nights off...

Having nights off is a good thing. Not knowing what to do with yourself isn't so much fun. There's a limited amount of things you can do when your used to a certain schedule. When you work in the nightlife industry for a long time and it's your only form of employment (besides odd jobs here and there) you tend to stick to a reverse schedule.

A reverse schedule is just that; you sleep during the day and you get up in the afternoon. Also known as a Vampire's schedule. When you do it long enough you can tell if the person next to you at the grocery store does it as well. You become pale because you rarely see the sun and you get annoyed with people a lot easier. Then again, sometimes it's hard to tell. There are a lot of cokeheads that are in the bar industry that can stay up for days on end and they're the ones with the tans and the happy disposition.

I remember when I first started working in the club scene and there was a "company picnic". Which just meant all the employees got together at the local park and we played softball, cooked out and everyone drank and sat around. I sat there and looked around wondering how all these people could actually get out there and run around. Not only that, they seemed like they were happy to be out there doing it at 10am after half of us had just locked the doors to the establishment at 5am. I stayed up to make it and stayed there just long enough to make my appearance and leave. I ate a couple hot dogs, said my hello's and then I was out of there.

On my way back to my car I saw Kate, Casper and a couple others sitting on a tailgate. I walked over and said my hello's. As I got closer I saw Kate put something down between her and Casper pretty quick. We talked a little while and that's when Stewart walked up and said hello. Then he reached down between the two and Kate grabbed his arm and looked towards me. Stewart looked over at me and asked, "Hey Mike, you don't mind do ya?" Then Stewart pulled up a little brown container and started unscrewing the little cap to it.

I looked at the container and realized what it was. It was a little brown vial used commonly for cocaine. I just stood there looking at the group and said, "Nah man, do what you gotta do." I then turned and walked away.

Then it started making sense how half these people who hadn't slept were able to keep going. It never really made sense to me before. I've been asked a hundred times since then if I "party" and the answer has always been the same. "No." I don't party and I don't see the reason for it. I've seen plenty of good people torn apart because of it though.

So now I'm in the habit that when someone does come up and ask me if I party at work, I throw them out. If they come up with some retarded reasoning behind what they say then I just tell them that I don't like their shoes or something just as retarded for my reason for throwing them out.

Granted, I know a few doorguys that actually sell drugs. They do it because it's a very easy way to make extra cash while at work. Typically they get fired when the management finds out but it also depends on if the management is one of their customers.

So now that I've rattled off on a tangent...

Nights off are pretty boring since my schedule is the opposite. Sometimes I just jump in my car and drive, sometimes I just sit at home and do what ever needs to be done here.

In a few weeks I think a lot will be changing for me personally. Maybe I'll be getting some of that sun I've been missing out on for the past how ever many years. Cut my schedule down at the establishment and get one of those jobs that has insurance and such perks that I've missed out on.

Should be an interesting change.

Excuses...

Standing outside of the bar during the busy part of the night you get to hear a lot of excuses. They're usually all excuses as to why they should be let into the establishment before the other 40 to 50 people that are waiting in line to get in. Here's just a few of them.

"I'm really good friends with the bartender." - Really? Maybe you should know their name or call them to come let you in.

"The bar manager is expecting me so we can talk about pricing." - Really? You should probably do that during non-business hours. Oh, and what's the manager's name?

"I'm a really cute girl and I only have 3 guy friends with me." - If your cute enough, I'll let you in. Your 3 guy friends can go wait in line.

"Do you do anything for 'industry'?" - I do help out industry people. It does depend on where you work and if I've heard of it. If I haven't heard of it then there's not much I can do. If other employees talk about it I'll try to help you out.

A group of 5 guys. - Unless you got at least $60 or more to grease the wheels, I'm not doing anything for you.

A group of ladies. - I'll try to get you in. Everything moves faster with a little grease.

A group of attractive, scantily clad ladies. - You'll be in within minutes.

"I used to work here and just want to check it out." - Look through the window as you wait in line. If I've never worked with you, you've never worked here.

"You know me man, I'm here all the time." - Doesn't matter how often your here if your not a friend of the establishment. There are still people waiting.

One of the best lines I've heard so far is the most obvious one to date.

A little waif of a girl came walking up to me during the busiest part of the night. With her big doe eyes she looked up at me and leaned into me. "Hi, is Mike here?"

"I'm sorry hun. I haven't seen Mike all night. Can I help you?"

"Well... Mike told me that if it was busy to just come up to him and he would get me right in. So I just wanted to see him."

"Well, I haven't seen him all night. Sorry, but your gonna have to wait a little while."

"It's ok." Then she went to the end of the line and waited. After 20 minutes she made it to the front of the line and I asked her for her i.d. After I looked at her i.d. and gave it back to her, she asked "What's your name?"

"My name's Mike, hun."

She dropped her head and walked into the establishment.

The Start...

On a slow night I was standing out front and this guy who was somewhere in his early 20's asked me a simple question. "Why'd you start doing this for a job?"

He's a young guy and he's about to start working at a different place in the neighborhood. He's stocky and he seems to have a good head on his shoulders. Although in my personal opinion, he's still way too "green" to be working as a serious doorman. I'd probably hire him as a floater but I'd never hire him to work the front door. He just seems to be the type of person to let a lot of things slip by him for a pretty face.

So I stood there for a moment and thought about his question. Why did I start doing this type of work? Then it hit me as simple as the day is long. I hated the world.

Pretty simple. I literally hated every person I met until they proved otherwise. I had recently went through some major life changes and it was the easiest way for me to deal with reality. I drank a lot and I had moved to some place that no one knew who I was and I didn't care about anyone.

I wanted a job that could give me the ability to be somewhat free and do what I wanted. I wanted to be able to let out the aggressions that I had and not have to regret the outcome. The work did just that. It was the perfect cover for the aggression that I had pent up. What other type of job is there where you get paid to protect and man handle people without a proper education or license?

So it all started almost 10 years ago in a little strip club in the middle of nowhere. Well, the work started then not the aggression. The aggression started about 6 years ago but the cause of the aggression began before that.

I will say that aggression is a good thing to have when your in this type of business. If you don't have that little mean streak in you then you won't stick with it for very long. You'll probably end up like all the other jocks from college that just do the work because it's quick and easy money while your in college.

So I looked at the guy and said it plainly, "I hated everyone. I started doing this because I didn't care about anyone and I wanted people to know that. You do it long enough and you'll be in the same place."

He just stood there and looked at me. He was trying to think of something to say but it just wasn't coming to him. "Really?"

"Yep. Depending on how serious you take the job, in a few years you'll want to become a cop or you'll just keep doing it so you can still be the dick that saves the day."

People change with time. I see myself changing but I'm still not sure which way that's going. I got my first security job over 10 years ago in a bar that had live music. Then I moved on to the strip club a few years after that and became a bouncer. A few years after that I hated the world and became a very angry person within limits.

Those limits were the rules that are common with all doorstaff at every place I've ever worked. You remove people however you have to without hurting them unless they try to hurt you first. Calm, steady and resolute.

At times I tried to find reasons for people to want to hurt me. I didn't care. I just did my job and if it meant that someone got tossed on the ground then they got tossed to the ground. Words tend to effect drunk people more than you'd think. Sometimes they effect them more than actions. Yet, if you put together the right words and actions then it was guaranteed to be a spectacle. Spectacles earn notice and notice earns praise and respect from the right people. Praise and respect brought on more things that were of interest to me.

One thing that I forgot during all this that I had learned a long time ago was this. Never do something so good that you can't be moved away from it. When you do a job to the point that you can't be moved into a different position then you have one way out.

You quit.

Pointers...

Well, I've decided to bring out the Don't List once again. This time it's in a separate post and I'm going to try and update it when a new annoyance rears it's head.

No matter what you do in life there are always things that are common sense to you because that's what you do day in and day out. To everyone that doesn't do these things on a common basis it's not common knowledge. So the Don't List is just a list of things that are common sense to bar industry people. Most people that have never had a job in these industries don't have a clue about them.

Some people would say that if it was mandatory for everyone to have a waiter or bartender job at some time in their life they would be much more polite and courteous. Others would say that it's just common sense to be that way. Either way, it's just a list. Take it how you want but remember the things you do when you go out and remember how you get treated for your actions.