Sunday, October 16, 2005

The Don'ts...

It's been a few days and nothing has really happened as of late. So I figured I'd start a little list. It's a list of possible things that you really shouldn't bother door staff with. It ranges from when your waiting in line until you make it in and leave.

Not to forget, all of these don't really pertain to all clubs. Then again, if you take all the things I write about that seriously you should quit reading.

When your waiting outside in line due to a capacity issue.
*Don't count the number of people that leave in a loud voice.
*Don't tell me how many people have skipped you in line. (There's usually a reason. They're VIP's or they have a great handshake.)
*Don't argue with the doorstaff. (We decide if your even going to walk in the door.)
*Don't pick fights with people walking by, standing in line, or fake fight.
*Don't make empty offerings.
*Don't try staring down the door staff.
*Don't stumble, lean on someone, trip, or act drunk in any way.
*If your told or asked to have a good night. Leave.

When inside the bar.
*Don't be extremely loud yelling countdowns or "chug, chug, chug". (Unless your in a sports bar. But I'm sure that annoys people there too.)
*Don't grab anyone, especially the waitstaff.
*Don't vomit on the floor, trash can, on people, walls, etc...... If you need to vomit, you need to go home.
*Only argue about your tab if your sober and you know you didn't order those eight Jaeger Bombs.
*Don't do anything to annoy the lady folk. I get enough complaints or the right one and you'll be asked to leave.
*Don't use your preferred drug inside.

Don't bother the doorstaff.
*Don't ask questions such as:
How do I get your job.
How'd you get this job.
Do you like to/wanna fight.
*Don't 'hang out' with me at the door if you don't know me personally.
*Don't assume I like you or that we are good friends.
*Don't try to 'pull one over'.

Basically this list will change. It could change daily or monthly but I'll try to keep adding on as I think of things.

More soon to come.


Anonymous said...

I posted awhile back saying I wish we had bouncers like you where I live (Australia, most of em are the biggest drug dealers around with attitude).

But now I see u doing the clublife anger thing.

If someone is paying u attention pay it as a compliment back.

I expect as much from a taxi driver as from i do a bouncer. Something to pass time. A chat never hurt anyone no matter how menial.

But if I say "hey your big" its a compliment...if i say "how did you get your job" maybe i want a tip into how to get into the industry.

As for the rest you are right.

But going off clublife a bit of cash in the hand allways covers for a stumble in line. As long as your boss isnt looking.

Mike Drman said...

I can understand the menial conversation whole heartedly. But questions like "How do I get your job" are pretty self explanitory. You fill out an application or you know somebody.

The basic problem with entertaining people's curiosities is that they never leave you alone.

They want to become your friend or they try to become a 'door buddy'.

Door buddies are the guys who think they're your friend and that you enjoy their company enough that they hang out at the door with you, every chance they get. They know your schedule and they show up to hang out. They even show up early.

I don't tell everyone to leave me alone. It just makes the job easier. The less 'friends' I have the less problems.

So if you did come up to me and start a conversation with "how do I get your job" and then convert it over to a different topic there would be a conversation.

Most people ask that and then go on about how they used to watch friends parties back when they were in college or they used to play football so they're strong and could handle themselves.

It just gets boring hearing the same thing every weekend. Originality gets you an ear for a bit but I'm still working. I've even met a few cool people that way.

As for the cash in hand. It does work. Just depends on how strong your handshake is.

I'm still in the process of thinking of topics to write about. But I think you might have given me a couple new ones.

Anonymous said...

cheers :) I liked your reply.

Maybe I was a little anoyed at the world to understand your point of view at the time (hmm maybe I should be a customer ;)

Love to hear more about the post about the chick but hey, legalities are legalities.

Dave Barker said...

*Don't try staring down the door staff?????

So you're inplying that door staff would see the fact that you're looking at them as a 'challenge' or act of aggression?
Sounds pretty insecure to me, not to mention unnecessary.
Guess what, I've got the right to 'stare' wherever I want, doesn't mean I'm gunning for a fight or want to take you on, nor does it make me a potential troublemaker.
If you've genuinely got an issue with being stared at, make it an issue at the time and man up instead of the passive aggressive option of just preventing me from entering the bar for what is, frankly, no good reason whatsoever.

Have a good evening.

Mike Drman said...

First off, I'm not implying anything. I stated something. To assume that I implied anything just makes an ASS out of U and ME. Me because I just used a line that my Mother used to say to me when I was in my early 20's.

Now that the horrible flashbacks and hilarity is over.

I don't consider anything as a challenge. Now, don't assume that I'm implying that I'm better than everyone. I'm not. I'm just a regular guy and there is always someone better than me out there. I've even met a few of them.

Depending on the person's state of mind I wouldn't call it an act of aggression either. I would call it annoying at times.

If your standing there with your nostrils flared, frown on your face and your hands bound into fists then yes, I would call it an act of aggression. I would ask you to move away from me. Then I would keep my eyes on you because more likely than not, you are looking for something to happen.

If you walked up to the door in this way, I'd ask you how your night is going and then make a decision based on that. If you put out a vibe of being a problem I won't let you in to avoid the problem.

It's not the job of security to "make it an issue". It's the job of security to make sure things don't become an issue. So if something is determined to be a threat it's security's job to make a decision and then resolve it.

The days of making things into issues are long gone. The caveman mentality of "he looked at me funny, I should hit him" is asinine and immature.

If someone were to walk up to me and start staring at me I would ask them if I could help them with something. Depending on their answer would depend on the multitude of replies I would give them.

Through the eyes of the person trying to get into the establishment, there's never a "good" reason for being denied entrance. Even when they don't have an id and they are shit face drunk, they still think they should be able to go in.

However, the person at the door has to make a decision. They don't know you, they don't know how you are when your wasted and they base all their decisions on their past experiences. So any decision they make is a good reason to them. The person's opinion isn't asked for nor wanted but they and their friends will gladly give it.

Be safe.