Throughout every bar there are always those guys that just sit back and wait. They're not always bad. Some like to sit back and see what's going on through the night, also known as 'People Watch'. Then there are those that sit back and wait for, what they think is, the perfect opportunity to talk to that one woman they've been watching all night.
The thing that's disturbing about this is they make it pretty obvious that they're watching. Sometimes they even switch parts of the bar when that particular lady does. These guys are usually pretty harmless. They're extremely insecure and scared as hell to talk to women. They usually sit around and hope the lady will notice them and come over to talk, which never works.
Of course there's always the other Lurker type, the Opportunity Lurker (OL). The guy that thinks he's got the world by the tail and everything a woman would want. Many of these guys have access to many different types of things. Anything from nice cars, houses, money or drugs. They find out little details of certain people and then try to use what those people like to influence them to go with them.
For instance, Leroy finds out that Nancy likes the nose candy. Leroy has some and lets Nancy know and then hangs out flaunting what he has in hopes that Nancy comes with. This comes down to whether or not she's willing to degrade herself for this little party favor. Then again, if Leroy is really persistent he won't leave until she leaves. Then he'll be outside the bar trying like hell to get what he wants. Unless he is asked to leave first.
I can think of a few times now that I've asked Lurkers to leave. I really don't care one way or the other. What people choose to do to themselves is their own problem. Unless it effects me personally. The Lurkers usually leave with no problems since they know that they want to come back the next night and try again. They can try all they want. Sooner or later someone's gonna bite and get reeled in.
Then you have your Smirkers. These can be guys or gals. They come out in many different circumstances. The most popular ones are the ones that smirk when you ask for their ID.
I ask for everyone's ID. You could be 6'4" and your whole head could be covered in white hair. I still want to see your ID. My brother had silver hair in high school and was 6'2" so how do I know how old you really are. These people pull out their ID and roll their eyes with a small little smirky smile on their face. These people, although they look like they're in their mid-thirties, are usually around 23 or 24 years old. I just laugh on the inside, they've got a few more years of IDing coming to them.
Then you have the Violent Smirkers (VS). These guys are usually upset about something or they think they're being funny in a really stupid way.
Once we call 'last call' in the bar that means no one comes in the bar and if you want another drink you better hurry and get it. I really don't care if you've been in the bar for five hours before last call your not coming back in. Your friends will be heading out the door in about ten minutes so you can meet them outside.
This really isn't a stated challenge to see if you can make it back in. So when you step into the first door four times in a row and you get the same answer each time it doesn't mean try to walk by me.
Little Billy walks up to me just inside the front door.
"Hey man, we're done. I need you to head back outside."
"Thaz cool man. I'm just gonna look for my buddy."
"Sorry man, you need to go back outside. Your friends will be out in a few minutes."
"Oh cool, he's in here? I'll grab him real quick." This is when Little Billy looks at me and puts up his little half smile smirk and decides he wants to go inside pretty bad. He puts his hand up on my shoulder and takes a step past me. To this I put my arm across his chest.
"Hey man, I said you need to go back outside. Your friend will be right out."
This is when he slides past my arm and tries to walk into the bar fast. It's also when I grab his arm and pull him back towards me.
"Hey!! You don't need to be pulling on me man!"
"Then how bout we head back outside."
"Yea, one sec, I'm gonna grab my friend."
To which he turned and once again tried to go into the bar. This time I grabbed his arm, pulled him towards me and got him onto the other side of me heading towards the first door.
"Man, fuck you!! You don't need to be pushing me around!" About that time he shoved me and tried heading into the bar again.
After all this I was pretty tired of trying to be cool. The guy had really just got under my skin really fast.
The distance between the first door and the second door is just about five feet. This time when Little Billy tried to come back in his feet never met the floor within that distance. In one quick motion I grabbed him, picked him up off the floor and tossed him. When he hit the door he was able to catch himself off the door handle and the door jam. I was already walking towards him when he started his little battle cry and came at me again.
This time I just grabbed him by the shirt and threw him down to the sidewalk in front of the bar and the thirty patrons that were already outside and walking out behind me. I do have to say, he was a persistent little guy. He bounced right up off the sidewalk and came at me. By this time Phil had made it to the door way and jumped right in front of the guy grabbing him and trying to cool him down. That's when I just walked back inside.
Phil came back in after a few minutes and asked if I was ok and let me know that the guy had left. Part of me kind of hoped the guy would have came back. It would have been good exercise.
After all this the bar cleared out pretty quick. All the people who were at the front of the bar saw most of it and left without any questions. At the end there were a few friends of the staff hanging out and all was calm.
Within every group of friends there are Lurkers and Smirkers. Just about everyone knows someone like these people. There are a few that are considered regulars at the bar. The Lurkers never really understand why I ask them to leave. They usually think I'm 'cock blocking' them. Then I explain to them why and they still don't understand. They really think the women like them and they were about to talk them into leaving.
I guess the illusion could be understood when your drunk. I can't say that I haven't been there, I think every guy has.