7 Deadly Sins - Remixed.

If you haven't heard yet, there's some new sins to look out for. That's right. Pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed and sloth... You have company.

Pollution, Drugs, Social Inequality, and Genetic Manipulation have now reached the level of Deadly Sin.

I understand that with time some things need to be revised, some things other than religion. I mean honestly, if your religion is based on a 2,008 year old story then how can you change it if it's supposed to be true? Unless you just want to add on new chapters here and there.

Granted, the primary character of any religion is supposedly a constant in every day life. So I guess it could lay down some new ground rules every once in a while. That is if it actually was here and could speak to everyone or at least one person. But then wouldn't everyone think that one person is crazy? Or maybe everyone would be envious of that person for being able to talk to that character. Oh wait, that's a sin...

So to all the ladies and gentlemen that have every had any type of cosmetic surgery guess what? Your going to hell. Any woman that has ever used birth control, your going to hell. Any person that has ever partook in drugs, your going to hell. If you have a business and thus made your life better than your neighbors, your going to hell. If you've ever thrown a cigarette or any type of trash, no matter the size, out of the window of your car, your going to hell.

It kind of makes me wonder. Is there a cushion period here? I mean since these are new Sins do you get a trial time period? Do any of your actions before now count? Cause just yesterday I worked a full day of work and made more money than the bartender. I also threw a cigarette but out the window. I even took a shower with age defying soap (not really but I hope you get the point). That's three of the new sins in just one day! I'm fucked!!

With all these new rules I have a good feeling that everyone will be going to hell pretty damn quick. And we all know what happens when Hell is full. When Hell fills up, the dead will walk the Earth. Which then brings up the whole Zombie subject. Will they be illegal aliens? Will they get equal pay? There will be a whole new set of problems. I just can't wait...

Feel free to check out some of the other articles that I've found.

Eagle Tribune
Times Online
Chicago Tribune
NY Times
The Daily Green

The Grape Ladey Cometh...

I saw this a little while back and re-visited it recently. The first video is pretty funny. The second one is hilarious! You have to watch the first to get the second.

Enjoy.

The Grape Lady



The Grape Lady Music Video



I think the second video might actually make it to some dj's set some night. It'd give me a little smile through the night.


-Be Safe.

No man's land...

"You see that cougar down there?"

"The one in green or the one in blue?"

"The green... get her out of here."

It was guaranteed that someone did something stupid when Billy wanted someone out of the bar. "What'd she do?"

"Man, I was standing half way down the bar and she walked up behind me and grabbed me."

"She was behind the bar?"

"Yea man, get her out of here."

Any person that has been in a bar more than once knows you don't go behind it. It's pretty much common sense to everyone. Would you go behind the counter at a McDonald's and make your own burger?

So I walked over to the older lady and stopped next to her. "It's time to go hun."

"What?"

"Get your shit and let's head out."

"What'd I do?"

"You know better than to go behind the bar."

This woman was in her mid to late 40s. I already had it on the tip of my tongue just waiting for her to say something. She looked up at me from her barstool. "I didn't know I couldn't go back there..."

"Your going to tell me, that in your 40 some years you never pieced together that you can't go behind the bar?"

"Well, we were all joking around..."

"So if you joke around with your bank teller you can go behind the counter at your bank?"

"Well.. no.. but.."

"Get your shit and lets go. I'm done with this."

She sat there looking at her friend with a surprised look on her face.

I guess I was having an off night. After she didn't move I reached down and grabbed her purse, "Come on. Let's go."

"You don't have to be rude," she got up and started to put on her coat, "I'm leaving. See?"

"Not fast enough."

It was relatively painless as she left. Her friends even left right after that and apologized for her. I only accept the apologizes to get them away from me. After they're all gone Billy comes back over.

"Hey man, sorry about that. She was just getting more annoying as time went. Just glad she finally fucked up. It's hard to ignore people when they're right there."

"No problem bud, that's what I'm here for."

Stories...

Every neighborhood has a hierarchy when it comes to the industry, it's a strange, if not quirky, thing. It has a lot to do with how many years a person has worked in the neighborhood, what bar or club they work at, how long they've worked there, and how much trouble they've been in or stopped. How ever you look at it, it all depends on the stories.

I learned a long time ago to not believe stories I've heard. Half the time I don't believe what I see unless I see it plain as day. Every head doorman at every bar got that job for a reason. Usually the reason is just because he stuck around long enough that everyone else quit. Very rarely will you ever hear about someone walking into a place and beating the shit out of a doorman and then getting his job. In fact, I'd say that's nothing more than an urban legend, it just doesn't happen. Sure, doormen get beat up occasionally, if they don't know what their job is or they're not paying attention. Which can be a good reason to find a new doorman.

The hierarchy is a funny thing. It matters to a lot of the old school guys. Guys that were around when all the real shit always used to hit the fan. When knives and guns were a common thing to see in these places. A lot of the new kids don't know much about the hierarchy. They think that just because they work somewhere they should get the same perks as everyone else they work with. It just doesn't happen that way.

The hierarchy is much more than just where you work or who you work with. It's also about the time you've spent doing this work and the many things you've been through. Which brings me back to why I don't believe the stories. I've heard stories about myself that included 4 guys against just me. Not just any guys but big muscle head guys and guys with knives. I can say right now that I've never had either of those fights. I have had a knife pulled on me but never more than one.

It's like playing the game Telephone when you were a kid. By the time you hear the tale it's so misconstrued that you'd think the guy was a giant with a cannon under his arm. In reality it was just some loud mouthed guy that didn't want to leave after he puked in the bathroom.

So I usually stick with people I know and how long they've been around. Certain people I'll help out with anything they need. The ones that I don't know, I don't do anything for until I decide they're worth doing things for.

Casper is always a good one to hear talking. He's been everywhere and seen everything... while sitting on his couch. He hasn't traveled anywhere but if you'll listen he'll tell you all about it. He'll even tell you how he had my back on quite a few fights. Of course, his version of 'having someone's back' is completely different than mine. His includes standing at the other end of the establishment and talking to a woman. Mine would be pulling someone off your back and going to the next. So I don't tend to believe stories about people.

There aren't many Pecos Bills or Paul Bunyans left in the world. There are a few Mike Ds in every neighborhood though. Just depends on where you look.

On the outs...

"Your killin me here..." Paulie's elbows rest on the desk while his head rests in his hands.

"I'm just tired man."

"Tired? Of what?"

"The life. Nothing changes. It's constantly the same shit every night."

"Every job gets that way."

"Not like this. It's the same faces day in and out. The same problems that won't change."

"What can we do to change this?"

"I've made suggestions. You know they're good ones. The owners just don't want to do any of it."

"Listen, give me some time, I'll talk to them and see what I can do to keep you around."

"I think your words will just fall on silent ears."

"Let's take that chance."

Search Terms: Why not to Date your Doorman...

Every once in a while I like to look and see what some of the search terms people use to find this site. There's a lot of them that find this site from terms like "shaved head", "skin head", "how to tip the doorman", and "how to become a bouncer".

The interesting one that I recently found was "Why not to date your doorman".

This actually brought a smile to me. Someone actually went on Google and searched reasons why they shouldn't date a doorman. Now, the term doorman could mean the type of doorman that works at a high rise type of building also. More people associate the term doorman with that type of job than they do a bouncer. I prefer the term doorman because I'm not a bruiser or gorilla.

So let's explore this a little more.

Why shouldn't you date a doorman? I guess it's up to you really. There are a few factors to consider though.

Let's say you do hook up with your doorman at your favorite bar or club.

• Will that change things?
  
• Will it make things hard for him to do his job?
  
• Will it make your time there different?
  
• If you start dating will you want to hang all over him while he's trying to do his job?
  
• If things turn to the worse will you not go there anymore?
  
• What if he's really a jerk?
  
• What if he doesn't "party" like you do?
• What if you just don't get along?

These might be strange things to think about but they've been some things that have come up. For instance, Late Night Rendezvous hasn't been seen since that night. Extra Fun Tips has been back but certain "tips" have been found and she no longer can come around. Sueann came back, she talked a little too much crap and she's not returning either.

As a doorman there are things I think about as well. I take it a little more to the extreme than most though.

• Is this girl a regular?
• Does she spend lots of money?
• How many other employees has she been with?
• Is she a nut job?
• Is it worth anything?
• Does she bring in business?
• Do I want to know more personal things about her?

Basically, I don't care about what these girls might say about me. The people that know me or need to know me.... know Me. The entire population can think what they want but they don't matter.

I guess what I'm getting at is that you should think more about the long term factors. The less the security staff knows about you the better. When things are found out they're easier to find.

I've never been that doorman that goes for the free round of sex or the blow job in the alley to let you in. I tend to have a little more integrity I guess. That might mean that I don't get to "dish" out the dirt on certain beautiful women but I'm happy about that. The less I know the longer people tend to stick around.

Granted, there is always that flaw in any design. I obviously can't say that I've never taken anyone up on their offers. I'm just more discreet about it. I don't believe that everyone needs to know everything that's going on. The less people know about me the easier my job is.

If I did take up more of these offers life would be more crazy. Then again, I've seen enough crazy for now.

Late Night Rendezvous...

"So what are you doing after you leave here?"

"Probly heading home."

"You should stop over." She smiled and gave me a little wink from the bright blue eyes that were hiding behind her mop of a haircut. Sally had become a bit of a regular as of late and I've kept the weirdos away from her on a number of times.

"Having a little get together?"

"No, just a couple of people. We'll probably just be sitting around watching movies."

"We'll see, I'm not sure when I'll get out of here."

"Here, take my number. Call me when your leaving and I'll let you know where I am." She smiled and I took her number. Then she walked out with a little over the shoulder smile and a coy wave.


45 minutes later I was done with the things I needed to do. I contemplated whether or not I really wanted to call her. Next sound I heard was Sally's voice on the other end of the line. It sounded triumphant and happy. "So, your gonna come over?"

"Yea, why not. I'll be up late anyways."

"Cool, we'll my address is _______________. It's right over by that old little mom an pop grocery store."

"Ok, I'll be over in a little bit. Lot of people show up?"

"Nah, just my two friends and a couple guys that I don't even know."


25 minutes later I'm knocking on her door. She answers still in the same clothes she had on before. Of course she is, what should she have changed into? We said our hellos, hugged and I walked in.

The apartment was a really nice spot. It had an old building feel and a new building look. In the kitchen stood the two guys that she didn't know. Both in their mid to late 30's and neither of them looked like the could even try to be trouble or their corporate mid level jobs would get rid of them.

We both walk into the kitchen and I introduce myself to the two guys. One recognizes me and the other goes on about how I had thrown him out a year prior. He laughed about the story and I stood there. I remember him after he told the story. I remember even more, how annoying he was.

As I stood there talking to the guys Sally walked off to the bathroom. I could hear her talking to her friends. I could also hear another noise. I sniffing type of noise. Someone was either sick or party favors were being distributed.

"I don't think he'll be interested."

"You never know until you ask."

"I'm not asking him."

About that time a short little portly girl came walking out to the kitchen. As she came walking out she motioned to the bathroom and said, "Party's ready boys." She stopped, wiped her nose and looked at me. "Interested?"

I looked at her and with a blank face simply said, "Not at all."

As the guys walked towards the bathroom I could hear the sniffing continue and Sally walked out. Her hand was coming down from her face and she walked over to me and pushed her friend to the side. "Sorry about her, she's a little different." They giggled and play fought a little.

Sally reached over and grabbed my hand, "So what are you doing?" She looked at me with wide eyes and a grin.

"I was just thinking that I should be going."

With that I grabbed my stuff and started out the door.

More History and a Response...

This post is a response to "Anonymous" comment to the Expired I.D. II post.

I've worked in several places where the owners or managers have not had my back. They've ok'ed several underage people and people without i.d.'s or with horribly fake i.d.'s. I hated these jobs.

Why? Because I get hired due to my experience and the type of job I have done at other places. I don't get paid to turn my eyes and let shit happen. Guess what? Who's going to get fired if that establishment gets fined or closed down because of these things. The doorman that let them in.

Now it might be different if you have some kind of contract with the place you work at. Or if there are numerous guys at the door then you can probably pawn the blame off on someone else, then live with the fact that you got someone fired for something you did.

I have a different way of looking at things.

If for what ever reason I decide I've had enough of a job or I'm let go for something, I don't care. I walk. I know I can find another job within a month. Sure, it might knock me back financially but if you've never lived like that before then you've never lived.

I have had meetings with owners and management before on this topic. I've told them straight out that this kind of shit doesn't happen or I walk.

I explain that no one should waste anyone's time. I do things my way or not at all.

I can understand letting a few things go if the people are actual friends of management or if the person is obviously of age. But when little Sally comes walking up and she looks all of 15 years old she doesn't come in. Not even if it's management. And I'll tell them right there and then that they can have fun doing my job until they hire someone else because I'll walk.

Now some people might think I'm crazy. In fact, I do myself at times, but this isn't just a part time job so I can have some extra cash. This is a full time job and it's getting very close to being a career. When it's a career type of situation it's more about your track record than it is about having the extra dough to get a PS3 or paying rent.

I live by standards and morals and that's reflected by my work. This is why I have a strict no drinking policy for myself and the other staff. How can the drunk police the drunk?

I can say that I've caused business to go down at certain places I've worked. That's happened due to the piss poor job the doorstaff before me did. So I had to take away a lot of fake i.d.'s, refuse a lot of drunks and ban a lot of previous regulars for selling or doing drugs in the bar.

So a bar can definitely change a lot just due to a new doorstaff. But bars change every few years due to many other things as well.

As for the interaction with the cops, it's much different here. The cops understand that it's our license on the line, they understand the amount of situations I've been through, they know I'm always sober, and I know a lot of them. They also understand that I have the right to refuse service to anyone at any time for any reason. So they always have my back.

Depending on what type of area you work in Anonymous you might want to be a little more vocal with the local police. Keep an eye for them and let them know about a few things here an there. Make friends with them. Even offer them bottled water or a Red Bull from time to time. Being friendly will get their attention and it will open their eyes up a little more to the type of person you are and the type of work you do.

You might want to keep up to date on new procedures that effect them. Talk to them and ask them their opinions. Tell them stories about situations that have been handled without their necessity. If they know your doing things in a way that they don't need to be there for they'll see how much less of a work load they have due to you. When they feel like they're on a common ground they'll respect you more.

So here's what I would do in your situation. Take it with a grain of salt since your not me and I don't know the type of relationship you have with your club's owners and management.

In other words, don't try and blame me if you do any of this and it doesn't work. Your responsible for your own actions.

You can go to the owner and tell him that the door is yours. The decisions you make are final and that's how it is. If that's not acceptable then your walking. However, don't say these things unless your ready to walk. If you don't walk when you say you will the owner will know your full of shit and need the job.

If this is just a part time job for you then let the shit happen. You don't have to put all your jobs down on a resume. If you get fired, you get fired. No biggy, you can still rely on your full time job. I don't know how things work where you are but it should end up costing the owners even more than the amount of money they make off the underage by letting it happen, if they ever get busted.

Do with this as you want. It's only my opinion.

This is all...

Nice vs Not So Nice...

Within the past few years I learned what it means to dislike people. In the beginning I hated the world. Then over the years my old self has slowly started to resurface. Let's say the softer side is starting to come back to the battleground. Which isn't always a good thing in this line of work.

You don't want to be soft but you do in certain situations. You can't be an asshole all the time, just at the times you need to.

Over the past month I've been punched, tackled and insulted in many ways. (I'll post these stories in time) Most of which have happened because I was being soft and polite. Strange that people are such assholes. If I had been rude and forceful it more than likely wouldn't have happened.

Time wears a person down and after being an asshole long enough I was getting tired of it. So I decided to be a little nicer. Of course that paid off well... Luckily, no stitches, guns or knives involved as of yet.

There are a few other things I'm trying to change as well that have nothing to do with work. I'm going to try and get back to a gym. It's been a long time since I've been in a gym at all. I've always had that second labor induced job to keep me fit. I haven't had that in a while so it's time to get one or get to a gym. I'd rather have the second job so at least I'm getting paid to bust my ass and not paying for it. Especially since I'm the type to use a personal trainer. Yea, I'm that lazy.

I've never been a fan of working out or going to a gym. I also don't have a clue as to what to do or which machines to use. I never had to use that stuff even when playing football back in the day. I'm just a big country boy that has worked labor jobs his whole life.

So I think the second job option is the better one, once spring hits. Ahh.. back to shoveling ditches and tossing tons of weight all day. Part of me thinks it will actually be fun.

As for being nice to people. I'm done with that. It's back to being the asshole at the door. I'm not a fan of being punched or tackled and I don't want to waste anymore time going to court for people I've had arrested. The judges are starting to know me by face.

A few of the cops have even joked that I should get a badge. Maybe in the future, but not right now. I like dealing with the problems of a confined area rather than an entire town. Besides, most of the cops wish they were me. Since things can happen here and not there. Legalities...

Ok, I'll be back soon with more posts. Until then...

Be Safe.

Expired I.D. II: Passport...

"Whadda ya mean I can't come in? That's a passport!"

"I know it's a passport. It's expired by a year. Which means it's no good."

"I just got back from Canada with it."

"I doubt it. You have any other i.d.'s?"

"I don't need anything else, this is my passport."

"You do if your coming in here. Have a good night."

Whether you have a passport or any other kind of i.d. it has to be valid. Any i.d. that is expired is no good. It doesn't matter if it's a Driver's License, State I.D. or a Passport. It has to be valid and it has to be you.

Recently I've been getting a lot of expired passports. People hand them off to younger siblings because they don't need them and can't use them anymore, which is a Federal Offense.

"I bet a cop would say that I could get in."

"Would you like to ask one? There's one right there." I point to a squad car sitting at the corner. "Just remember, it's jail time in a Federal prison if they really want to be dicks."

So the kid goes over to the squad and talks to the cops. Next thing, they walk over to me and ask why I wouldn't let the guy in with his passport.

"Well, the passport expired over a year ago and I don't think it belongs to him."

The cop still had the passport in his hand and started to look closer to the picture. "Where'd you get this passport kid?"

"What? That's me, that's my passport!"

"You have any other i.d. with you to prove that statement?" The second cop started walking behind the kid.

"No, I don't have anything else with me. I got mugged a couple weeks ago and that's all I got."

"Well, if you don't have anything else with you then we'll have to take ya to the station to make sure this is you."

"What!?"

"Yea, and if it's not you then it's off to jail with ya. You understand this right?"

"But.. all I wanted was to have a drink?"

The cop points over at me, "And all this guy is doing is his job. I'll give you a chance, if this isn't you and you admit it now, we'll let you go here and now. If it is you then you have no reason to not go with us."

The kid stood there, it looked like he was actually thinking over the options. Freedom or Jail. Big decision...

"Can I just go home?"

"Sure thing," the cop started to turn and nodded at me, "We'll see ya later Mike."

After the cops left the kid stood there for a few more minutes. Finally he spoke. "Why'd you have to be such a dick?"

"Kid, your the one that took it too far. I said no, you got the cops and had your passport taken. Learn when to drop things."

"Fuck you," the kid walked off.

End of Night Round Up...

At the end of the night I like to keep up to date with my staff. If something happened I like to know what happened, how it happened and who it happened with. Just a little way to keep a step ahead of anyone that tries to come back and cause shit.

I heard about an argument between Mark and a patron that ended up in Mark screaming at the man and removing him.

"So what happened man?"

"Well, this guy just wouldn't be quiet. He kept talking back to me and he just wouldn't listen to what I was sayin."

"What'd he do?"

"Well, I got a complaint from a couple of girls that he kept just staring at them. They asked that I ask him not to anymore." Mark stood there for a minute and started again. "I went over to talk to him and he just wouldn't listen. Every time I tried to talk to him he'd turn away. When I tried to turn him towards me he started yelling at me and I started yelling at him."

"What brought it up to him being kicked out?"

"He shoved me away from him after I was done tellin him he had to leave the girls alone."

"Next time, get rid of the guy after the first time. If anyone gives you any shit get rid of them from the start. Don't get pulled into the shouting game cause that turns into an argument and then it turns into a fight. Resolve the situation before it starts."

"Well, I was trying to.."

"Listen kid, your new to the game. Remember, your right and they're wrong. What ever stance you take, you keep. You don't change your stance unless management tells you to. And you can argue with them after work."

"So I should have just thrown him out for staring at the girls?"

"No... For not listening to you and ignoring you. People that disrespect the door staff will disrespect everyone else. Fuck 'em, they can leave and someone else can take their spot. Quiet night otherwise?"

"Yea, pretty quiet."

"How you getting home?"

"My bike's outside."

"Ok, be safe and keep your eyes open."

Heath Ledger...

I've never been one of those people that gets caught up with stardom. I've met a lot of different stars from music to film and most of them are nothing more than a regular person like me or you. Well, regular people with lots of cash is a better way to put it.

I never did meet Heath Ledger. In fact, I'm so oblivious to who's who that, I didn't know that he made any movies between Brokeback Mountain and the new Batman-The Dark Knight movie.

I've already heard many people talk about how he had tons of money and that's what happens. Really? Just because you have lots of money it means that you become addicted to drugs or that you become depressed? It's funny hearing these people say these things as their own nose is caked with a white powder. These very same people that I see on an almost nightly basis.

Addiction isn't a wealthy man's disease. Being wealthy just makes it easier. When your wealthy you don't have to rob people at gun point or steal purses from clubs. You just waste your money and then go out with a bang.

Heath Ledger was a great actor. He just got caught up in his own problems and no one tried very hard to stop him.

I have a rule when it comes to addicted people. If a friend of mine has a problem, I try to help them. I'll talk to them, I'll be there when they need it, and I'll try to get them the help they need.

However.

Once they go past that point of no return, I'm done. If you shove me away and tell me to get screwed enough times, I'll forget you exist.

I don't need your problems to effect my life. That's why I forget about you. Once you get to that point your not you anymore. Your a creature that has forgotten everything about who you used to be.

Hopefully, someone tried to help him. If not, then they might need the help as well.

R.I.P.
Heath Ledger
1979-2008

The Strip Joint...

One of the many security jobs I've had was in a strip club. It wasn't a nice place but it helped to pay the bills - when I got paid.

It was a dirty place that you never wanted to see with the lights fully up. Even the girls weren't all that great to look at. There was definitely a selection of girls though. There was the 40 some year old Hispanic mother of 5, the flat chested coke addicted college girl, the 5'3" 170lb woman that could only breathe through her mouth and a whole slew of others.

Among them all was the Mother Hen. She was the girl that did all the scheduling for the girls. She could either make it possible for a girl to make money or make it so she never came back. To the girls she was a total bitch. To the door staff she was lovely.

Although this place had a maximum of 25 people in there on any given night she always made good money. I called her Tammy but many people called her Momma. She was the reason a lot of people stuck around.

The owners of the club were as shady as the location of the club. It was in the middle of nowhere, the front of the club was the only area that wasn't overgrown by trees and shrubbery. I was told there was a little lake farther in the back but I never took that path to see it.

The club had a different name every six or eight months. Management would change hands just as often but always between the same three guys. Some kind of legal garble because the city was constantly trying to shut the place down. The city was more interested in keeping a moral facade.

I ended up leaving this job for several reasons. The atmosphere wasn't the greatest, most of the women that worked there were ugly and the paychecks stopped showing up.

During one of the management changes somehow all the employee records were misplaced. At the time I was always copying my time card due to possible misplacements. So when I showed them this they tore it up and tossed it away.

After a month and a half of no pay I left. I had no intention in sticking around if I wasn't going to get paid.

A couple months later I stopped in to see a friend that still worked there. I walked up to the door and said hello to the head doorman. He asked for my i.d. and acted like he never knew me. The times that we stood and made fun of the many drunken illegal aliens were gone. He had erased his mind of my total time there.

I walked over and talked to my friend and he had hurried the conversation along. All matters were cut short and he hurried me along.

When I talked to Tammy she took her time and basically explained that the management was upset with me and didn't want me there - at all. That's when I noticed there were many eyes on me. Tammy told me that she'd give me a call the next time she had a party and I exited the building.

As I started to pull out of the parking lot I noticed the doorman and the owner standing outside watching. I never did hear from Tammy again. I knew I wouldn't.

Recently I drove past where the club was. The building still stands but it's completely overgrown now and dead. I had thought about stopping there just to see if it was still the same. The windows are boarded up and the door had "Closed" spray painted on it.

Looks like the city finally got what they wanted. Morality reigns.

Consanguinity...

People change. If you've never noticed that within your life then you've never paid any attention to the people around you. Sometimes it takes a major catastrophe in their life to make it happen but people change with time.

A friend of mine saw me change many years ago. He worried and he spent many nights hanging out at my place because he thought I might do something very stupid. He knew it was against all my beliefs and I reiterated it to him many times. I've never nor will I ever be the type of person to take my own life. Why? Because part of me likes to live with pain and see just how much of it I can take until I let it go. There could be many different psychological reasonings behind that but I'm not getting into that here.

Another part of me just isn't an idiot.

After a certain time I moved on. I moved off to a new city and my friend stayed behind. I have to admit that I basically turned my back on a lot of people there.

A few months ago I got a phone call from my friend. He wanted to talk and at the moment I was surrounded by noise and people and couldn't get away to talk. I told him I'd call back as soon as I could. When I did call back it rang through to his voice mail. When I tried again it never rang and went straight to voice mail. Every time I've tried to call he doesn't answer and I leave another voice mail.

Months went by and still never a call back. Nothing. I admit I was worried at times but I never thought about the bad things that could be happening. I never thought about things the way he had thought of things when I went through my "time".

I found out through a different friend what had happened. The things that my friend was going through. Things that happen to a lot of people these days. Thankfully he never did the things that he thought I was capable of doing. He has the same resolve as I do when it comes to the idea of stupidity and suicide. He still roams the Earth.

I don't know if he reads this even though he does know about.

But I'm telling you now. Your not alone. I'm here if you need anything.

Anything.

The distance might be far but it's never far enough to help those that are always with you.

Digg It man...

So I thought I'd try something new. I see this Digg function around alot and I've started Digging a few articles here and there. It seems like a good way to get a little more exposure.

So at the bottom of every post (under the Leave a Comment and Labels links) there's a little blue and white Digg This Story button. Feel free to click on the button and submit which ever story is your favorite. It'll help to expose the story to other readers that have the same taste. You might have to register with Digg to do this.

Registering with the site is fairly easy. Once you do, they'll show you to other sites and articles that you might enjoy as well.

Give it a shot, ya never know, you might like it.

Gimme a second man....

"Hey Mike, I got a live one for ya." I turn to see Alice smiling, her pale complexion and sharp nose always makes me think of the Joker when she smiles. "There's a guy an a girl in the women's room."

I motion to Paulie to come over to the door. When he walks up I ask him to watch the door and I head to the back. I get to the women's room and pound on the door a quick three times.

"Occupied!" is all I hear through the door in a man's voice.

I pull out my ring of keys and find the one for the women's room. Slide the key in and turn it until it clicks. I start to pull the door open and it gets pulled closed from the inside. I pull harder on the door the second time and it flies open.

Inside the one stall bathroom a man stands. Kneeling in front of him is a young woman with a mouthful of man.

The man pipes up, "Hey man! I said it was occupied, take off!" He starts to reach for the door.

As he reaches for the door I grab his wrist and pull him off center. The girls head goes with his hips as if they were sewn together. As he starts to turn and fall I hook him under both armpits and start dragging him out of the bathroom and across the bar. I hear a loud "schlop" noise as the girl falls back away from him.

I start yelling "Coming through!" as I drag the man, with his pants and underwear still around his ankles, through the establishment to the door. Before I can make it to the front door Paulie already has it open and I drag the man outside. Once we make it to the cold January weather outside I drop the guy on the sidewalk in the snow, salt and slush. He jumps up and hurriedly pulls his pants and underwear up and starts off down the block without a word to say.

I walk back in and head to one of the tables in the rear of the establishment. The girl is now sitting in the middle of a table with people on both sides of her. I lean over the table, "Hun, it's time to go."

She looks back at me with her doe eyes, "Why? Did I do something wrong?" Her friends all look confused and try to stick up for her.

I always try to be nice. I'll even try to hide your embarrassment from your friends but I'll only try once. If you deny I won't pull any punches and let it all out for everyone to hear.

"Listen, you were just blowing some guy in the bathroom. Very well from what I could see. But now it's time to go and come back on a different day." Her friends all looked at her and her face turned bright red.

The girl got up, got her things and left.

As I went back to the door Paulie was still there laughing. "Man, you really know how to embarrass the fuck out of people don't you?"

"Hey, the way I figure, word spreads fast about what happens at places like this. If you embarrass a few people then people know whats in store for them if they pull off the same shit. Kinda makes things easier when it's a big production instead of a small quiet one."

"Yea.. ok.. just don't pull that shit when the owners are here." Paulie still had a big smile on his face. "You should have seen that guys face when you dropped him in that snow an shit. Ha Ha Ha..."

The entire establishment had something to talk about the rest of the night. People were even asking me if I knew the girl's name.

Later that night she stopped by and apologized. I told her it wasn't a big deal and to stop by again on a different day. She said she would. As she started to leave she tried to give me a kiss good bye.

I politely refused saying that I knew where that mouth had been earlier.

Tolerance...

"I hope you really enjoy the whole $7 an hour your making."

As my hand balls up into a fist I feel a hand pull back on my forearm. "Leave it Mike." Paulie steps out from behind me. He looks at the scruffy haired kid standing in front of us, "Why don't you take off."

"Fuck you guys, this sidewalk is community property." The kid is about 22 years old, 6' tall and all of 120lbs soaking wet. He has a trucker hat on with the bill of the hat bent straight up. His pants are tight, keys hung from a belt loop and the right pant leg is rolled up so it doesn't get caught in his bicycle chain. His shirt was at one time white and his arms are decorated with mismatched tattoos. There was dried blood around his nose. "I know my rights."

Five minutes before.

The kid was in the establishment. He decided that it would be ok to walk up behind a waitress and throw his arms around her. Not only that, he thought it would be funny if he grabbed her breasts and act like he was dry humping her. When Alice came up and told me I walked to the back and saw him laughing about it.

I grabbed him by the collar and threw him to the floor. He landed face first and knocked over a couple other people as he went down. I reached and grabbed him again, this time by his feet and I started dragging him out of the bar. He kept grabbing other people's legs as I was dragging him so I stopped. He spun around onto his back and I grabbed his arm and jerked him up. As he was coming up he was scared. I could see it in his eyes. His eyes were wide open and he kept looking around for help.

I went to grab his wrist and spin him around and he slipped out of my grasp. He tried to run out of the establishment but I tripped him and he fell to the ground again. This time he fell harder and busted his nose on the ground. Blood started coming out of his nose and trailing down his chin. Now he just laid there waiting for someone to help him. I grabbed him by the wrists and pulled him up. I stood him up and shoved him back and he started out the door.

Once outside the door he became tough. Slanders flew from his mouth like a river. Then they turned personal. Statements about people's mothers started coming out and that's when I started to get more angry. Usually these things don't upset me. I figure that the person doesn't know my mother so there's no reason to get upset but with the things this kid had already done it got to me. I could feel the adrenaline pulsing through me and that's when Paulie told me to let it go.

The kid wouldn't leave the front of the bar and he kept going on about "his rights". So I decided to let him get a first hand feel for what his rights really were. As a squad car drove past I flashed them with my flash light. The car stopped and pulled over. The kid thinking he was in the right stood there, "Yea, bring the cops over, I'll have your ass in jail!" He literally thought he was in the right.

The two cops came walking over. The first one walked up to me and the second one walked straight over to the kid.

"Hey Mike, what's going on?"

I explained what had happened and how the kid was dry humping the waitress and grabbing her breasts. I explained in detail what happened after that.

"Ok, the waitress want to file sexual assault charges?"

The kid overheard this. "What!? I didn't assault her! What the fuck!?"

The cop walked over to the kid and got into his face. "Excuse me? You grabbed a womans breasts without her consent. You think that's ok to do?"

The second cop turned the kid around and started patting him down. When the cuffs came out the kid started flaring up more. "What the fuck!? What about what he did to me? This is fuckin bullshit!!"

"He didn't do anything. You swung at him first. He was doing his job, protecting the staff and the business."

"I didn't swing at anyone!!"

"You have the right to remain silent...."

After the kid was read his rights and stuffed in the car, the cops talked to the waitress. She decided to press charges. Even if she doesn't show up for court the kid will have to spend all weekend in jail to wait for a court hearing.

Maybe he'll meet up with Big John while he's in there.

Hopefully Big John will think he's cute.

Here We Go...

Sorry about the lack of posting as of late. With the new year starting things have been a little hectic. New procedures have been put together at work and its been interesting to see how they've worked out.

A few years ago the city of Chicago almost passed a smoking ban. I was weary about them passing the ban because if they passed the ban then I figured we'd be next. Well, Chicago didn't pass the smoking ban but it wasn't necessarily because they didn't want to. It was because the whole state of Illinois decided to go non-smoking.

The state of Illinois has passed, what many have called, the most stringent smoking ban to date. Which goes along with Illinois being known as a Police State.

The major difference between Illinois' smoking ban and that of other states is that it's focused primarily on the employees health rather than the patrons. Which is fun to explain to the non-smoking patrons that come to the establishment and think the state loves them. It's not about you, it's about the waitress that doesn't smoke and you don't tip.

One thing about Illinois ban is the fresh air clause. According to rumor there isn't an air recycling unit that can work fast enough to keep up with the state's mandate. When I look over the Act online there are a lot of Sections missing to it so there's no way to tell.

There are also a lot of businesses that are already being hurt by the ban. There are smoke shops that are slowly closing down. If the business is a tobacco shop then you can't sell beverage or food. In fact, you have to give up those licenses completely. I've even seen a few restaurant's that have shut down their kitchens just so the regulars in the neighborhood can keep on smoking. They think they have a way around it. Wait until it's time to pay bills, they'll wish they had kept it open.

A big state ban is strange. People feel like their Rights are being taken away from them. In part, they are. It's the right to choose. The right to your own choice. If things were done a little differently then it wouldn't be so bad.

I don't want to get into all the little schematical issues over it.

This just makes work a lot more difficult. Now instead of just making sure everyone plays nice we have to make sure the kids aren't smoking inside the building. Anyone caught gets tossed for doing something that we've all done for years. So there should be some interesting reactions in the near future.

I've been telling myself that now is a good time to quit. The rebellious side of me just keeps winning the argument. When you keep the law for so long you let the rebellious side win at times. Maybe in a few months...

Be safe.

2008...

The new year is here. New problems and a major event has happened lately. More on that to come.

Hope everyone's New Year's Eve went well. Ours was a little hectic but there weren't a lot of problems. I think the worst thing to happen was a person puking. Even then they puked in a garbage can so it wasn't that big of a deal for me but they still had to leave.

I don't clean up puke. I think it's in my contract somewhere. Seriously. I will and have given the mop and bucket to people so they can clean up their own mess. Then they get booted after they clean it up. Yea, yea, dick move. Whatever. I'm not cleaning it up and someone has to.

I'll be back soon with more posts. I just need to iron out a few details.

Be safe.

New Year's Eve...

It's New Year's Eve and your going out in style!! Drunken Style, that is..

Please re-visit the Don't List to help your night go smoother.

Remember, a lot of people are out tonight. A lot of drunk people that are more idiots tonight than ever. There's also a lot of thieves out tonight too.

Ladies. Keep your hands on your purses at all times. One of the stupidest things you can do is imagine that you live in a world that someone won't steal your purse.

Men. Keep your hands to yourself and your mouths shut. No one wants to know if you think your tough.

Have fun but be safe by all means.

If you see a long line at your favorite establishment then take very good care of the doorstaff if you want in. It's New Year's and even if you might be special on busy nights, you might not be special tonight. Besides, the doorstaff is already dealing with enough crap to be nice, so be extra nice to them.

Be safe, have fun and I'll see you next year.

New Day..

I've never really understood the big deal about New Year's Eve. Maybe it's the cynical part of me coming to the surface again.

New Year's has always just been another night to me, nothing very special.

It's a big night for the bar industry. A night that everyone goes out for and almost everyone is wasted for. The city offers special rates for public transportation and the cab companies sometimes give deals for the wasted. All done in good ways so people get home safe and aren't stuck passing out in alleyways. It also keeps some of the drunks off the street so sober people like myself aren't in such danger of driving home.

When I was a kid growing up the family got together with close relatives and we all hung out at another relatives house for New Year. These days we're all lucky if we see each other once a year. I never really saw the big deal about New Year's then either. Other than I could stay up past midnight.

Everything has been pretty busy this past week. Everyone is starting to get used to the cold so now they're coming out more. This weekend has been busier as well. People have Monday and Tuesday off so it's like an extended 4 day weekend. Which means it's busier for me too.

I guess time will tell as to how busy Monday night is. Usually there's a private event on New Year's, not this year. Business as usual. It's always better to have a private event for New Year's. Less drunk walk ups means a better time for all.

Be safe this year. If you go out, don't drive. If you must drive. Don't drink.

Winter...

Winter time brings on many adoring things that everyone loves. The flu, common cold, coughing, sneezing and headaches. It's such a wonderful thing when your stuck outside of a doorway and it's raining or snowing and 30 degrees.

No matter what you wear there's really no way to protect yourself from sickness. If your lucky the establishment will put a heat lamp out for you. If it's like any other place, they don't care because your just a mindless brute that likes the job.

Needless to say, I'm sick. The good news is that this is my one time to be sick all year. It's very rare that I ever get sick. Of course this is also the time when I prove the point that I've said to many other doormen that have worked for me.

"Your never to sick to stand outside a door."

The only time your too sick to stand in a doorway and card people is when your heading to the emergency room at the local hospital. Why do I say this? If your too sick to come to work then your well off enough to not bitch about not having enough money. If you can handle taking the few days off due to being sick then you have the money to do it.

A typical sickness lasts more than a day. So if you take one day off from work you might as well take three. Just to make sure you get over it. Then if you bitch about having so many days off it's your problem, not mine. I honestly don't care, I'll work those days and keep the money.

So yea, I have enough mucus coming out of me in the past few days to fill a tub. I wish I could sell this stuff by the pint. I think I'd be a millionaire by now..

Still at it though.

Be safe.

Ho Ho Ho...

Ah Christmas time... Such a slow night of nights.

The neighborhood looks like it should be a scene from a horror movie. Desolate and only a few lights on other than the street lights. I'm just waiting for the zombies to start moaning and stumbling their way in.

Of course that never happens. That would be too much excitement for such a day.

Later in the night we'll get a few alcohol induced zombies. They're not as fun as real zombies. It's not like I could bust their heads open and save the world. Well.. No... I couldn't.

Hope everyone's holiday went better than planned.

Be safe.

A slight tick away from perfection...

One thing I learned from a life long friend is this. "If it's not perfect then it's not right." That could be used in many different ways but he was referring to women.

He got married just a few months ago to the girl that he thinks is his perfect match. As far as I'm concerned, I'm glad he's happy. I have nothing to say about his new wife except that she is a great person and to marry him, she must be perfect.

His general rule of thumb seems to have worked great for him. My general rule of thumb? Give it a shot. If the sex is great, then you can put up with some of the idiocrasies. Horrible rule of thumb, I know, I'm still learning...

One thing I never understood are the girls that are dominatrices. Sure, I understand that some men like feeling like shit about themselves. They need that in order to feel superior to others or just to feel good about themselves. What I don't understand are the two extremely attractive girls I know that do the job.

After a very frustrating night at work I met up with Sueann. She's a Dominatrix who goes by a different name. A name that I won't even speak of here but it begins with Mistress and ends with some dark, brooding, evil twang.

The night at work was very frustrating. We had several people removed from the bar and a couple fights. Needless to say I was pretty pent up after a night of throwing people around. All I really wanted to do was go home and fall asleep on the couch as I watched a rerun on tv. After the second fight at the bar she came up and started talking to me. She was very persuasive in getting my attention and after only a couple minutes she had it, fully. She could have distracted a fat man at a pie eating contest. She was wearing a tight black corset with red fringe, thigh high black stockings, a mini skirt and those boots most commonly known as hooker heels. Her hair was black as night and pulled back tight in a pony tail. Her face was angelic with that little spurt of evil slowly dribbling out around her eyes and mouth.

She managed to talk me into taking her and her other dominatrix friend out to breakfast. Every word that came out of her mouth was sultry and full of innuendos. She spoke of things that I could only have dreamt of. She talked of how she wanted a man that could throw her around and have his way with her.

We went to breakfast after I got out of work and she sat next to me and her lone friend sat across from us at the table. Her friend couldn't decide if she wanted to talk or eat and in between forks of food her mouth wouldn't stop. Then her phone rang and she was off like a race horse chattering into the small cell phone. Meanwhile, Sueann's hands explored the lowlands that they found under the table.

Sueann's friend finally got off the phone and announced that she was going to leave. She jumped up from the table and ran out the door leaving me with the bill. I paid the bill and then Sueann and I were off. In the car I asked where I could take her and she looked at me and answered easily. "I'm staying with you tonight."

I parked my car a block away from the homestead and we walked in. As we got into the front door the heels started coming off and the thigh highs were on their way. Our jackets fell into a pile and my shirt was next. Then she ran off to the bathroom.

After about 5 minutes I decided to just sit on the couch and turned on the tv. I slowly start to nod off after another 15 minutes. Next thing I know I open my eyes and shes sitting on the other end of the couch crying.

"Whoa, whats the matter?"

"I don't know why I do this," her sobbing blotted out most of the words.

"Do what?"

"I s sh shouldn't be here... I need to leave..."

I sat up and put my arm around her for comfort. "If you think you should leave then feel free. If you want to stay the night you can."

"No funny business?" Her eyes looked like they were in awe or confusion.

"None at all. Besides, how good can it be if your bawling your eyes out?"

She laughed a little, "Eh he... I guess, usually that's how the guys want to be acting." She smiled a little more.

"Not this one, I just want to pass out."

The next morning I woke up right where I fell asleep on the couch. Sueann wasn't next to me though. I looked and she wasn't in my bedroom either. Then I went on to check my pockets and the money and valuables I had at the apartment. Everything was present and accounted for.

I walked into the kitchen and found a note.

Mike,

I'm sorry your such a pussy and couldn't take what you wanted from such a small helpless girl. Not to worry, I'll see to it that everyone finds out what a piece of shit you really are. To believe that you wouldn't even sleep with me. Don't you know that I wanted it to happen? That's why I came here. You must be gay.

Mistress ________


Talk about your nut jobs.

This incident firmly justifies my reasoning to stay clear of girls who want to be or are a Dominatrix. Something just tells me that there has to be some kind of unbalance inside there. Some kind of mistreatment that just disturbed them to the core. Of course this doesn't go for all the women that are Dominatrices but I will say that it probably goes for the ones I know.

So I can now add Dominatrix to the not perfect list.

If it's not perfect, it's not right.

Just a bow and nothing more....

"Did Santa talk to you yet?"

"Who?"

"Santa Claus..." The woman standing before me was quite the looker. She was about 5'6" and had all the curves in the right places. She filled out the curves in almost perfect proportions.

"Why would he talk to me?"

"Well, I told him that I wanted you for Christmas."

"I'm a little busy for Christmas but I'm free after work tonight."

She smiled, "Oh, I've always wanted to get my presents early." She reached up and rested her hand on my chest. "Well, I guess I'll just wait for you inside then." She reached for the door to the establishment.

"You should do that. First though, I need your i.d. before you go in."

She reached into her purse and pulled out her i.d.. I took it and looked at it, the birthdate was 1-5-87. "Hun, you know your not old enough to come in here right?"

She smiled and gave me a subtle wink, "Oh, I'll make up for it later tonight."

I stood there looking at her. I looked in through the door and noticed a guy standing inside. He was giving her the thumbs up then thumbs down sign as if asking, "Are you getting in?"

I looked back at her, "Sorry hun, I'm sure it would have been wonderful but your gonna have to wait a few days before you come in."

"Oh, I gave you the wrong one, that's my sisters," she reached into her purse again and pulled out a second i.d. "Here, this ones me."

I look at the second i.d., "This isn't you." I slide the i.d. into my pocket.

"Yes it is."

"Really? Different last name as your sister? It's slightly possible. 6'2"? Not possible. To top it off, the i.d. expired 3 years ago. It's not you."

Her face dropped. The smiled eroded into a frown, her eyebrows dropped and her eyes squinted. "Oh, you would of let me in if you didn't see these huh? You fuckin perv!" Her voice became louder as it went on.

As she was talking I raised my hand in front of her face. With my fingers straight I closed them together so they met my thumb as if symbolizing her mouth to close like a puppet. I think this angered her because she just kept talking. Then it was my turn to be loud.

"Hey! Listen. If you were old enough to come in, I'd let you in. I didn't start this conversation. You did. Don't write checks with your mouth if your ass can't cash it. Walk away, we're done."

She just kept talking. So every time she started to talk I'd hold up my hand and add in a "Shh". Then the door opened and the guy that was standing inside stepped out.

"Hey man, how come my friend can't come in?"

"Because she's 20."

"What? She was just in my bar. She's old enough."

"Guess you better learn how to spot fakes."

The guy turned around and walked back into the establishment. The girl started to walk away and I had to add my 2 cents. "Keep talking to Santa maybe he'll get what you want for next year." I smiled and waved as she walked off.

She turned around, yelled "Fuck you!!" and gave me the 2 middle finger salute.

I stood there wondering if I would have fallen for that if she had given me the other i.d. first. Anythings possible especially when your wanted as a Christmas gift. Can't let Santa down, ya know?

Brotherly Love...

"I'm just saying... If your tired, your tired."

"It's just a slump, I'll be fine once these holidays are over."

"You don't usually fall into slumps."

My brother and I don't always see things eye to eye. We both see things in a pretty clear manner, almost in a black and white scenario. It's either good or bad and it's either something we do or we don't do. Sometimes he tends to look at things a little deeper than I do.

"I'm just saying, if your already thinking of doing other things then maybe you should look into other things."

"I'm not too worried about it. It'll pass with the holidays."

"Ok, just don't come running to me when it doesn't."

"When have you ever known me to come running to you?"

"Your here now aren't you?"

"I definitely didn't run here. I drove."

"Ha ha... dickhead."

The weekend was pretty uneventful. We went out and had a good time, checked out a few bars and even caught a band or two. It still didn't cure the restlessness that I've been feeling lately.

We left Sunday and I got back today.

More posts to come.

Time in a Car...

A couple days in the car and we pull into a another big city. This one is much bigger and is riddled with much more notorious individuals. I've often thought about coming to a city like this with it's history of mobsters but part of me has always told me that it'd just get me in trouble.

The weather here is about the same as the weather back home, cold and wet. It's much more windy here though. A couple days in the car with my friend and we got here safe and sound. Then it only took us another hour or so to find parking once we found my brother's house. Every where you look you see lawn furniture in the streets. People saving their parking spots now that the snow has been flying. Don't tell anyone but I did move one to take a spot. I just put it across the street in an empty spot though. Sometimes it's fun to be Loki for a day...

Spending that much time in a car with a person can either make or break the trip. You never really know how much you can stand a person until your locked in a car for a long time. It's a lot of one on one time and no way to escape. You get to see what you have in common and any reasons why you might want this person to disappear off the face of the Earth. You get to see things about a person that probably wouldn't come up in every day situations.

We made it to my brothers and got everything inside and unpacked. In a few more days we'd be off to our parents house. I finally got a break from everyone the next day when my brother's girlfriend and my friend decided they should go shopping.

"No, don't let him on your computer, he'll never get off that damn thing!"

I slightly smiled and raised my right index finger to the temple of my head and rotated it in a circle and then lowered it and pointed at my friend behind my other hand.

"Seriously, he won't..."

"Oh I know, who do you think is the geek between us?" My brother has a splendid way with words.

My brother and I stayed home and here I am updating this as my brother watches tv. He knows about the blog and helps keep it private, I think. Once again, that's paranoia sinking in... Once they were off it was time to try and update.

So there's a bit of an update. Soon we'll be off to do the traditional early Christmas and I'll be back in time to keep the kids at bay. I think we're going to actually go out to a few of the clubs around here this weekend. Should be interesting to see what some of them are like.

Ah, the holidays... so great.

Omaha Man Opens Fire...

I grew up in a household with a father that was a military man. He wasn't a lifer but he spent enough time in the ranks that he expected certain things. Even though he may not have set the best example he could he did well. He used to always say, "Do as I say, not as I do."

He taught respect and he had a very good idea of death. If an animal was on it's way to death he would give it that little extra push. Not to say that's the right thing to do but that's how he did it.

I read a little earlier that a man decided that he wasn't fit for the world anymore. So he took the easy way out. He took his weapon of choice and went to the local mall and opened fire. According to the article I read on Newsvine.com, the man killed 8 people and wounded 5 more.

The man had made it to the 3rd level of the mall and opened fire. He hit people on the 3rd and 2nd floors. People were literally packed into dressing rooms to avoid the bullets.

Then the man did what every spineless waste of human flesh does. He turned the gun around to himself and pulled the trigger a final time. Why couldn't he just do this at home while he was all alone?

Condolences go out to the families since this man was such a piece of shit. I've never understood the thinking behind doing such a thing. I am proud to say that I fully support the right to bear arms. I am not proud of the mental cases that abuse that right. If there was such a mental aptitude test in order to own a gun it wouldn't matter, people would still find a way to get them.

I've been through many rough times and I've never once thought about suicide. It's the weak man's way out. It's something that a low life that can't possible deal with problems would do. I've said it a hundred times. I'm not a religious person but this has nothing to do with religion. This was all about a nobody that wanted the world to know that he was there.

And how hard is it to let the world know that your there? In this modern time it's very easy. After all, I'm a nobody but I'm here and I'm letting the world know it. If the entire world doesn't want to know about me then screw them. Those that do are here and they're listening.

There are a million ways for the world to hear you. You can start a blog, you can put out videos, you can even start one of those Myspace pages. Once you do, you go down in history and someone will know who you are.

According to another news source he left a suicide note that said he wanted "to go out in style". What kind of style is that dumbass? Who knows, maybe he actually wore a suit.

Anyway you look at it. He's still a spineless piece of bowel movement. An excrement of society.

Now he'll get all the tv ratings and the world will know him. Why? Because the media loves to focus on the bad things. Why focus on good things when the world doesn't care about it.

I quit watching the news a long time ago because it just makes the human race look more like crap everyday.

Dirty Laundry...

On any night I'm surrounded by beautiful women. I don't say that because I'm something that attracts beautiful women. I say that because they are pleasing to the eyes and they work at the establishment. Then again, coming from a guy that's been sober for a long time that should be a compliment to the ladies.

On many occasions I've dealt with problems concerning them. Some guys being a little too touchy feely, another called her a bitch, another pushed a waitress, etc etc. I've gladly removed these assholes from the place in a quick manner. Plenty of times these guys trip and fall down on their way to the door or out of the door. "Here's a little something from the girls," I like to say.

Then there's the problems that I really can't do much about. At least I can't when it's not at work. I'm more than happy to remove an asshole from a bar but when it comes to personal issues away from the establishment, I tend to stand clear. I don't have any personal investments in anyone that I work with so there's no need for me to get into that personal zone.

Once in a while there's a chance that I can help clear things up. Especially if the boyfriend or husband decides to bring the dirty laundry to the establishment.

Personally, I don't care who you are. You can be the boyfriend or the husband but you never lay a hand on an employee. If you have a problem then discuss that at home. This is work. This is where people make money. This is the place that people come to so they can forget their problems and have a good time. They don't come here to see waitresses argue with their significant other. They especially don't come here to see the significant other slap a woman.

Here's the predicament that I get put into when there is an assault on an employee.

No matter who it is, they get removed. They are removed quickly and as quietly as we can. It doesn't matter if it's a boyfriend, husband or a father. No one smacks an employee. This is a universal rule. If the guy's lucky he doesn't trip too many times on the way out the door. The building is really old and the floor pops up in some places. If your drunk or wasted you don't notice these things. You tend to fall down.

This is a universal rule for one reason. If we don't get rid of you then every asshole in the place will think it's ok to do what that guy just did. Then it'll become a slapfest. Slapfest's are only fun when Mr. Knuckles can jump in.

So when I hear about how much of an ass a boyfriend or husband is being, there's not much I'm willing to do on the personal level. I'm not going to go to someone's house and talk to them. It's not my problem. I will let them into the establishment though. Then keep a very close eye on them. Once they mess up inside the walls it's open season.

I'll even have a smile on my face as they keep tripping towards the door.

As we wait for the cops to show up I'll keep reminding you how pretty you look and to stay away from the guy named John in the holding cell.

Then when the cops arrive and the girl comes out and says she doesn't want to press charges. I'll remind the cops that I want to press charges. I'll then jokingly ask the cops to put you in the holding cell with John.

As the cops pull off with you in the car I'll be standing there with the girl. She'll ask why I pressed charges and I'll tell her that it's policy. Then I'll go on about how much of a piece of shit you are and that she can do a lot better. That now is a perfect time to get away from you.

Hopefully, she listens.

If she's weak then she'll go back to him. He'll be banned from the club and he'll make her quit because he can't come in to watch over her. Which, in the long run, will be better for the establishment.

If she's strong. She'll lose the guy and never go back to him. She'll find a new self respect and live a better life.

Sadly, in my experience, the first option is usually true. An attractive woman that thinks she has to keep that relationship going because she has issues.

We all have issues I guess.

Blogs & the holidays...

With the holidays approaching so does a lot of travel time. So I may not be able to update as frequently as I'd like to. So I jumped on the Twitter band wagon so I can do some small mobile posts.

You can keep up with my mobile posts at: http://twitter.com/mike_drmn

I also put the Twitter widget on the left of the page under the Recent Comments.

Twitter is very easy to use and it's a good way to keep up without a computer around. I haven't jumped into the laptop area just yet and it's pretty hard to carry a desktop pc around on your back. So with all this said I'll introduce you to a few other blogs that you might like as well. This way you can keep up with them until I can get back on to a regular post basis.


Kimchihead

I just started reading Kimchihead a couple months ago. I really like the way this guy writes.

His style is like the old gritty detective stories that you might associate with from the 1940's. He's very descriptive and the entries he posts are like stories all in their own. There's a slight backdrop of insight and a lesson in each one. Some of the stories even pull at the strings of the heart.


Clublife

Clublife has been a blog that I've read for a long time. It actually gave me the idea to start up this blog. I hate to say that I'm following someone's example but everyone does at some point. I'm not out looking for a book deal but I'm glad that he found his. We're similar in some senses but the environments are different.

So if you want to see another doorman's perspective jump over and read his. The archives are well worth reading. In fact, you might want to start with his oldest posts first.


Blogdiggidy!

Angie T brings you Chicago. Her posts are usually humorous and she has an undying love for a certain politician. Throw in odd posts of comedians and her own insight and you have a great read.


If you want to check out any of the blogs that I check up on, feel free to follow the links in the link section on the left. I need to go through and clean house though.. Some of them seem to be collecting dust. Too bad, I really enjoyed reading them. I can understand though, there have been times that I've thought about hanging up my keyboard too.

I'll be posting infrequently until the holidays are over.

Have a great holiday and I'll probably be back before you know it.

Be safe.

Another one down...

I read today that Evel Knievel has passed on. He was 69 years old.

Although he had faded from the public eye during the 80's he was always a common name. I remember seeing him on videos and wondering why he did it. I'm sure there's a video out there somewhere of him explaining why.


R.I.P. Evel Knievel

Bar Life..

I've said it many times over and it usually sticks true. In the smaller bars there is a "bar life" for bartenders. Especially if the bar has a more corporate feeling.

What I mean by this is that there is a turn over of employees every few years. A lot of owners and managers will do this to keep up with the neighborhood and to keep bringing in new clientèle. If you keep the same stagnant employees then the place never changes and never gets better. In the overall scheme of things it always comes down to the owners making money. Yea, it sucks for the employees but they're there to make the owners money. If your not doing that then you will be replaced. It won't be a hard thing to do either, there are always students and younger people looking to get into a bar to work.

So the process is slowly starting to happen. People have been slowly nit picked enough that they are starting to drop like flies. Some of them deserve it, others don't.

The typical bar life that I've noticed over time has been right around 5 years. Every 5 years or so there's new people at all my old haunts. This is where the management comes in. If they do their part right and keep up with the regulars they'll introduce them to the new kids. Regulars are good to have. Especially if they're the ones that make it good for the bartenders to be there. The ones that know how to tip and are usually never a problem.

If your a regular somewhere and never give more than a dollar tip then don't feel bad that you don't get introduced to the new kids. Your cheap and people shouldn't waste their time on you. Why do I say that? Because bartenders and waitresses don't make much more than 3 or 4 dollars an hour in the little bars. They make very little hourly and they rely on tips to make ends meet. So if your a cheap ass and don't tip for shit then they'll spend their time on someone else.

Sound crappy? Hey, give up the money you make now and start making $4 an hour. Let's see how you feel about people then.

Granted, in the bigger clubs where your paying $10 to $12 for a short jack an coke, maybe they make more per hour. I couldn't tell you if they do because I've never been one of them. If they don't make more than $4 an hour then they're making a lot more in tips because people in bigger clubs usually have the money to waste and there are a lot more people so the crappy tips add up faster.

What I will say. Give up at least $2 or more when you order a drink. If you open a tab then tip around 25 - 30%. These people are putting up with you all night. Your insults, your come ons, your drunkenness, your wandering hands and eyes. It's worth it in the long run so you don't get the "cheap ass" rep. That rep will keep with you for a long time. It'll also slow down their reaction time when you want another drink.

Remember, your just another face in the crowd. No matter what you look like it's how you treat the people serving you that matters. If you take care of them, they'll take care of you.

Good advice to take with you everywhere.

Taking it home...

When you live in an apartment building sometimes people decide to have parties. It's only a matter of time that the cops get called if you don't clear it with the rest of the building or at least the landlord. It's very rare that a big rave type of party happens in someones apartment.

"Yo man, 20 bucks man."

I stopped fumbling with my keys that were still in my pockets and looked up. In front of the doorway to my apartment building was a guy about 6'2" tall. He had a ball cap on turned sideways, an oversized white hoodie, baggie jeans, white shoes and a jean jacket. I stood there looking at him, "Excuse me?"

"Yo man, it's 20 bucks to get in dis party."

"Yea, that's great. I live here." I started up the stairs again.

"What? You din't hear me or somthin man?" His hand came up as to stop me. I grabbed his hand, bent it back towards his elbow and spun him around. Now his face was pushed up against the wall.

"I heard you fine. You must not have heard me. I live here."

About that time a few people came walking around the corner. I had a feeling these were friends of his fairly quickly and had an even bigger feeling that I was going to be hurting in the morning.

"Yo Ty! Hey man, let him go!" The two guys came running up and the girl was slowly making her way up. I started pushing up on Ty's hand making him stand taller and become even more uncomfortable.

After Ty gave out a little yell I said, "You guys stay back or I'm breaking his wrist." The guys slowed down and stood there staring at me.

"Yea, he gets paid to do that kind of stuff." The girl in the group came walking up. It was Janet, she lives down the hall and apparently is the one having the party.

I pat Ty on the shoulder and ask him if we're cool. When he agrees I slowly let the pressure off of his hand and arm. I go nice and slow so if he decides otherwise I can put him back in place.

Janet walked up to me, "I'm sorry Mike. This won't happen again."

"You can't have some guy out here charging. That's just dumb."

"I know, I know..."

"In fact, how bout you get up there and turn off this racket and get everyone out. I want to get some sleep."

"But people are finally showing up. It's an after hours party."

"Well, we can do it the fun way. But you'll probly get in trouble for it."

"Your not gonna call the cops are you?"

"I'll give you an hour, after that it's fair game."

Other side...

A lot of people don't see everything that a doorman does for a bar or club. They see the blank face that asks for an i.d. and they see the guy that's dragging someone out by their head. They see the side of a doorman that is in conflict or seriousness.

Very rarely do they see the doorman that is smacking the face of a guy that went from talking up a storm to limp dead body in a matter of seconds. The don't see the doorman trying to stop people from going into a bar while he is crouched over a drunk guy and trying to make sure he's still alive. In fact, most of the fucking idiots that are trying to get into the establishment don't even see the guy sprawled across the sidewalk.

The other part people don't see is when the staff member is trying to get a drunk friend of the industry home safely. People think a lot of things and when they see a doorman walking out with a drunk female they automatically think that something is going on. That the doorman is taking advantage of a situation. My best advice, think what you want to think but find out what's going on before you say you know what happened.

A lot of people don't have the respect that is needed to understand the amount of things security staff go through in a busy night. The amount of insults one can take before we have to become the assholes that most people see security staff as.

Listen man, I understand I did you one favor by letting you skip the line when you tipped me. That's why you tipped me. It doesn't mean that I have to do anything else for you. It also doesn't mean that you can stand there and call me or any other doorstaff an asshole because we won't buy you a shot. If you want a deal on your drinks than over tip the bartender. They'll notice and do what they want to do. Stand there and call me an asshole. Well, I'll become that asshole that your looking for. If you really upset me, I'll throw you on your ass in front of the entire line of people outside and throw your money into the street for anyone to take.

People overlook the one person that can make or break your night. It's completely true, any person doing security at an establishment can get rid of you at any time. I know it sounds very corrupt but it's true. If there's some reason that we don't want you in the establishment then we can get rid of you. If you put up too much of a struggle don't worry, there's about 5 to 6 more people that are willing to help out and get you out.

Now I'm not saying all this so people can go to their preferred club or bar and to pat the doorstaff on their backs for doing good deeds. I'm saying it so people can recognize what the doorstaff is for. We're here to make sure you and the people around you are having a good time and there are no bad instances. We get very bored and we are always on point looking out for the establishments best interest but your best interest is not our responsibility.

In fact, I'd suggest that you don't talk to the doorstaff. More than likely they don't want to talk to you. They've been at work and are sober while you've been out having a great time and are probably half drunk or more. No one wants to talk to drunk people when they're sober. Remember your Aunt Edith at the family get togethers? She was always the one sitting in the kitchen with a cigarette in one hand and a gin and tonic in the other. She always had bad breath and pinched your cheeks way too hard. Yea, that's what you are to a sober doorman.

Go to your preferred establishment, drink, have fun, and don't cause any incidents. Don't do anything that will draw the attention of the staff and everything will be fine. Don't worry, if your in trouble or you need a problem fixed, we are here to help you as long as it's not something illegal.

Security staff is there to look out for the best interest of the establishment and to help if there is a problem. We try to keep everyone safe and happy without being the assholes. We're only assholes if we really have to be.

Expired I.D. - Get a New I.D...

"Listen, I'm gonna let you in this time but not again. Get a new i.d."

"Man, I've just been real busy with stuff. We just opened a new club and I just moved here 4 months ago and..."

"And your i.d. expired 3 years ago. I know who you are. I know where you work. I don't care. Get a new i.d. or don't come here again."

"Does it really have to be like this?"

"Listen, last week you said you've been here for a year but you've been too busy. This time you've only been here 4 months. You should know the laws if your opening a club. No expired i.d.'s. Go get a new one."

"How bout I just don't come back?"

"That's fine with me too. How bout we start right now."

"Sure. I'll just go get my friends and we'll leave."

"Not with that i.d., it's expired. I can't let you in. Hope you got their numbers in your phone."

Thanksgiving...

A day for thanks.

Thanks for everyone that keeps coming back for another round. Whether they come back for another round of drinks or another day around the clock. Give thanks to who ever you give thanks to.

Hopefully your families haven't drawn you closer to that insanity plea.

Shlepper...

This type of work is really more for the person that can let things slide. You have to be able to take all the bad with the good. This goes for more than just the typical dealings.

"I don't know why Chucky let's Jack hang out after hours. I feel like he's stalking me."

"Stalking you?"

Cathy is a really good woman. She's a great looking girl and has a great head on her shoulders. Sometimes she's just too sweet and a little naive, even though she knows what's going on.

"Yea, when he found out I was single he started leaving me gifts."

"You gave them back right?"

"Well, I didn't want to be rude."

"I suggest you give them back or start refusing the gifts."

"Can't we just stop him from staying after hours?"

"Listen, I'll get rid of him tonight but you need to voice your opinion. He provides a service for certain employees so they want to play nice with him."

"Like what?"

"Let's just say they like his coca-cola."

Two Faced...

"Man I'm tellin ya, she's really into me."

Mark is a new kid to the circuit. He's around 24 years old and he's excited to get into the industry. Even if he has to start out doing security before he can get behind the bar. He's young, new to town and he's very naive. He's a work in progress and he's trying to keep up with everything that's going on both at work and in his personal life.

"Time will tell."

"No seriously man, we had a great time the other night."

"Just don't jump because she says to."

"What you mean?"

"Listen, you now work at a place that a lot of people want to get into. They'll become your best friend in order to do that. Don't get your hopes up and go with it."

"Really?"

"Yea. Ask her what she wants. If it's just you then she won't mind waiting in line until thats proven. If she gets all pissy about waiting then she just wants in. Your gonna have to build up your shell. Your new and people know that."

"You really think she's just gonna use me?"

"That's what they all do, guys or girls. So they'll get all nice until they get what they want."

"That's fucked up."

"Welcome to paranoia. Soon you'll start wondering why strangers talk to you in the grocery store."

Back Drop...

I've been getting a little attention lately. In some ways it's nice. In other ways it's not so nice. It's great to know that people are taking the 3 or 5 minutes to actually go through my ramblings and take notice. It's not so great to know that some people want to know more about me. Well, I'll tell ya. I'm nothing special.

I have a code of ethics that I live by. It's a hard one to explain and on a daily basis most people think it changes. In my mind it's always the same, it just depends on the mindset I'm in.

I'm not a very religious person but I do tend to believe in Karma. I do believe that if you do enough bad things that something is going to come back and bite you in the ass. It'll bite hard. I figure that if you do enough good things then you'll stay the same. Life is what you make of it and if you believe enough in yourself then it will become what you want it to become.

If I were to put myself in some kind of religion I guess it would be a mix of Satanism and Buddhism. Don't mess with me and I might save your ass some day. Mess with me and you'll never get a helping hand. I know, it's a weird mixture but it seems to be the closest thing I can think of.

I've gone through times of meditation and I've had my times of pain and hatred. Through the meditations I've been able to control the anger and the wantings of angry physical contact. I can honestly say that I've never thrown a punch in the years of working security at bars and clubs. I can't say that I've never thrown someone into a wall or table. It just seems to be a better option than to give them a reason to want to hit me. My face is no where near being pretty but there's no reason to make it any uglier.

I also believe that everything happens for a reason. I got into this business because I was enraged with life and I wanted to get back at it. So I went into a line of business that could afford me the ability to control my surroundings and the people that were guests inside it. Those days are gone now and it's only a matter of time before I move on.

I'm a man of necessity these days. I live mainly for the things that I need or want. Right now there isn't much that I need or want but there are things that people and organizations want from me. To appease these giants I might have to move on fairly quickly. Then I get to become a part timer again in the world of the night life. This will inevitably knock my status down but it will bring my life quality back up. Maybe even back up to the normal level.

So I hope that this kind of sheds a little more light on me. I hope it also appeases the gods.

Your not that cute honey...

"Yea, I used to use it in eye drops."

"Really?"

"Yea, it was the easiest way to do it and not get caught. What's your story?"

"My story? I guess I don't really have one. I'm the guy that's always around and rarely noticed."

"That sounds pretty boring."

"Yea... so does putting LSD in your eyes. In fact, that just sounds fuckin stupid."

The Job...

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